Day 1253

Turning the page

Looking forward to tonight. WAS tempted to bail, Sunday was windy and freezing, but the winds have settled. Temps predicted to be actually "warm" -34- tonight. I'll take it. Doing my usual, staying over, avoiding Toxichouse at ALL costs.

And no, the tree STILL isn't finished. Bitch slept all day, went to a meeting (Work that sobriety! Buy Christmas gifts for everyone OTHER than your fucking husband, the one under the roof who pays every motherfucking bill.). Came in and attempted to pick a fight. I didn't answer, not a syllable. Can't WAIT 'til It goes back into the hospital. Hope Stoney has a metrocard.

And yes, cunt tried picking a fight this am. Has a fixation with my income, i.e. "all your money..." you'd THINK I was a millionaire. Rather, I make around 90, ALL of which goes to the bills. And this bitch harps on my "riches?" Don't congratulate me on my professional achievement, rather, reveal anger over my income-as you portray the victim, in fact, have made a life out of it.

Spin class this am, then off to nyc. Bring it on!!!!!

Ain't no one raining on my New Year's eve. Fuck 'em!

Day 1252

so much for that


2012 was NOT a good year. Yes, I got the gig I'd been working for all my life, my destiny IS in fact fulfilled. But too much loss.

My elementary school, shuttered.

The love of my life, as predicted, for her, was a may/december. For me, it was love.

My wife, praying for her death. Total bitch. Not even a piece of lint for me for Christmas.

My son, typical teenager. Dearly miss his sleeping next to me, one arm thrown over me. Now, an angry weed smoking asshole. His Mother's son. Turned against me by a cunt.

doing a Spin class w/Dennis Walcott, cool.

The other good news though, besides my job, my brother had a stroke, BUT, full recovery. Hey, we're ALL aging.

Can't wait for this calendar to change.

Day 1251

Confirmed my New Years eve plans, I'm good to go!!!

And, just when you lose faith: had Spin class, again, I was asked to come on board as an instructor. Yeah, I know-not earth shattering, but @ this point, the fat kid who couldn't do a lap around the gym needs the pat on the back.

Ho ho.

Day 1250

All was well until.....


Yesterday-thanks to the gym and my brain, was a very good day. Hit a morning spin class, an evening spin class, with a flick in the middle. Then...I made the mistake of going back to Toxichouse. Thereupon It tried to engage me in conversation about Its health. As stated previously, It first claimed diabetes, then hepatitis, now dying. So, die. do us all a favor. Not even thinking: does It even have insurance. Yet It never fails to throw in my face a cold fact I hadda present It with "we can't afford to bury you." It thinks I can print $$$, paying every fucking bill solely on my income. So, let Its friends collect the body. I won't. Also, after all that shit about my never.......I'll not set foot in a hospital. Fuck It, die.

Today, another vacation day. Gotta avoid the domicile, no prob. My usual morning run, followed by spin. Another terrific day.

Gotta stay healthy.

*and one factoid I find PARTICULARLY amusing: "you're  selfish." Love when THAT is hurled at me. Who runs a rehab???????? Rather than amass alcoholics anonymous groupies (after self medicating-remember the sleeping pills after too much coffee to process Avon orders?????), I got 26 patients and 22 staff in my care, but I'm selfish. Who led the Christmas party? What did I get in return: the joy of giving. But remember kids, I'm selfish. $800 to fix a fence the CUNT broke due to negligence, but I'm selfish-a fence that THEY wanted repaired so THEY can avoid walking the dog THEY wanted, rather, throw him in the backyard where THEY don't even pick up his shit-but critique where I put it. Oh, and since the CUNT has not a single penny taken out of Its disability checks, WHO pays the fucking tax for It????? But I'M SELFISH???

ANSD, It claims It bought his longboard!!!!!!! Scroll back a few posts to 2 years ago. I was very proud of getting him such a cool gift. Now, It actually convinced Itself (mental IS mental) that It bought the damned thing! Amazing.

Great Christmas. Fuck this crap.

Day 1249

So, die already

Today begins the start of my "vacation." Had so many hours, hadda use some time. Now, here's the prob. My son has been turned against me, his mother has successfully portrayed Itself a perpetual victim, so Toxichouse is NOT a place I'll stay for any extended period.

Thank GOD for the gym. Spin this am @ 9, then again tonight @ 7. By THAT point, I'll be too tired to give a shit.

Now, let this whole Christmas season thing sink in. Remember we USED to go visiting. Even Its friends/groupies are sick of the perpetual patient. Useless bitch.

But WAIT! It got better!!!!!

Again, tonight It tries being human, I indicate yesterday I said not a word until It did, agreed to "turn the page," then IT, again, went psychotic. It then attempted to update me on Its health. Let's be clear: I don't give a shit. Die.

...all this as Stoney plays one of the video games It bought him, totalling well in excess of $200, yetr can't even buy me a fucking card. Die. fucking die.

"I'm dying"

As I enter Toxichouse, It attempts to excuse Its bullshit behavior yesterday using the illness card, eventually dropping the "I'm dying" bomb. THEN, suddenly, I'm talking to a different person. I'm kind enough to say we need to turn the page, It goes off on a tear about my selfishness. I'd said, AT LEAST a card. it went off totally. Remember, it bought gifts for EVERYONE in my family except...the person who hooked the CUNT up with my family. THEN, gets me not a fucking thing for Christmas. Useless bitch.

And no, the tree isn't and never WILL be finished. Bitch didn't go to work today, day after Christmas, FUCKING tree still not done. Fuckit, no more.

Do earth a favor, die.

Day 1248

Ho ho WTF???

Got Stoney his $39 x 12 gym membership, got It a movie gift card. What'd I get? NOTHING. Not only that, I get torn yet ANOTHER new one. Merry FUCKING Christmas. The excuse: It bought the gifts for MY family. Now remember, Its family killed themselves, It ain't got nuttin'. BUT, It used THAT trump card to not even buy me a fucking card. Furthering the trail of dysfunction: the tree STILL isn't fully decorated, the tree topper was never found...... really.

And what hurt more than anything? Stoney giving It props on giving me a verbal beat down. REALLY gonna remember that when a withdrawl is attempted from First Bank of Dad.

Great parenting isn't it? Berate the father, use HIS family against him, THEN tear him a new one (same old story "When I was in the hospital........." Bitch, let it go. Who righted the ship while It was in the hospital? Who cleared the bills. Who paid for the fence IT broke, to be fixed? And my return: nothing. Not even a fucking Christmas stocking. Pathetic.

But WAIT, it gets better!

It got Stoney video games, in excess of $150, PLUS clothing. It spent well over $200, but couldn't even get me a friggin' card. Really, truly sad.

My mother would gut It like a trout.

Day 1247

Sucks

I, of course, get every responsibility, others play.

I buy the best tree ever, you really havta work to find places to put ornaments because it's so thick. Bitch can't find the tree topper ornament. It's friggin' Waterford Crystal!!!!! But MY  "O.C.D....." Useless bitch. It's barely decorated. I woke up this am, no stockings, nothing.

Truth be told, Bitch can't find anything. Good. Die.

But It DID go to church.

Nice job Jesus.

Day 1246

Amazing

Needy gym instructor? I, anticipating the glass half filled, expected Pilates. Nope. Good. Less baggage.

Get to the job, the person we were trying to bring in TODAY, for an interview TODAY, begs off-Christmas party. Does this person want the gig or not???????? Best of all, I came in JUST to interview this fool.

Amazing.

And no, Toxichouse's Christmas tree, still not decorated. Yet Stoney has the cojones to leave me a note telling ME to wash what I use. Amazing. Utterly amazing.

Thank GOD for my friends.

But WAIT, it gets better!!!!!

It finally realizes It has accumulated too much crap. I.E. with the Christmas tree, It finally dawned on It that It buys CRAP for the sake of buying CRAP. I.E. a briefcase. Inocuous thing, right? BUT, a briefcase w/a combination...that's locked...for which It lacks the digits.

Presenting problem WAS: It asked for garbage bags...to dispose of the CRAP It insists on purchasing. Actually made a comment re: 'how did this happen" when viewing Its pile of hoarder's crap.

And yet more! It asks why It is fatigued????????? Drink more Snapple, with MORE sugar...THEN crash. And wonder why you're fatigued.

Really Virginia, you canNOT make this stuff up.

ho ho.

Day 1245

Bastard

Ok, did the LIRRC Santa 5k. Glad I did. Saw my usual suspects-though my presenting peep-football dad, was a no show. Oh well, I had fun.

Then, Stoney.

I stopped by the gym to get his Christmas gift, I come into Toxichouse, what awaits me? A note telling me to wash the dishes I use. Fuck him!!!!! I do exactly that. Spoiled motherfucker.

Thank GOD I went out with Deb last night. We see each other once, twice a year. More than enough. We got it like that  ;).

Little motherfucking bastard. Imagine. Spoiledness leaving ME a note telling ME what to do.

Lay around the place asshole. See when First Bank of Dad reopens.

Day 1244

Motivation

Look @ Stoney's room yesterday, poster It pinned to the ceiling (really glad I sheetrocked, to have them poke holes in my work), one side hanging down, multiple holes from push pins. So nice.

Christmas tree, STILL not decorated.

Dog THEY wanted, STILL not walked, dogshit NEVER picked up.

It strolls in, pizza in hand (cook? not here), asking why I made a comment about one of her peeps, i.e. "if he lived here for a second he'd appreciate where he is." It couldn't BEGIN top comprehend the meaning. No heat, oven broken, washing machine broken (when you never balance a load, the drum hits against the side, eventually cracking, then flooding the basement). Essentially, what happens when you don't give a fuck.

Meanwhile, It speaks of Stoney's unrealistic aspirations. I.E. going to college, expecting a vehicle.....sure, I'll just print some more $$$.

And remember, It receives $900 a month. Where this goes? Not the house.

So, this am, we run. Good. See my peeps and let the assholes of the world accumulate more gunk in their arteries.

Ho ho.

Day 1243

Ahhhhhh

The patients' Christmas party was a major success. No decorations, tons of food and great time singing. Again goes to show: the spirit makes it!

The staff party? Eh. they couldn't get their shit together for Kris Kringle, couldn't get their shit together for even a grab bag, and the same person coordinatng that was claiming to be the victim of abuse. Yes, THAT person. Makes all sorts of unsupported allegations. And the day of the party no less. In truth, they canNOT take direction. Steadfastly refuse-yet won't step up either. Sound like a control issue to you?????

And the major lemonsuckers? Didn't lift a finger! Proof of their character. Ho ho.

So, if not for ME, yes ME, it would've sucked.

Ho ho.

Satan to the rescue.

And our tree @ Toxichouse, STILL naked. No one lifts a finger.

Good, useless assholes.

Day 1242

JEEEEEZ!

Too many grinches!

Ok, First, I buy the Toxichouse Christmas tree, ok. Cheaper than alimony.

THEN, I intercept mail, indicating It gets $788 monthly from disability!!!!!!! AND, Stoney gets $105! Yet WHO pays all the bills?????

Add to THAT, It contributes in NO way, shape, or form, to the bills. AND who gets torn a new one if they eat anythig in the fridge??????

Ok. Better.

BUT, add to this: one individual @ the job claiming abuse, yet in reality, merely CANNOT take any form of direction. Amazing.

Ho ho.

Thank GOD for the patients' Christmas party. If not for them, today would be a shipwreck.

Ho ho.

Day 1241

Ho!!!!!

Really not to be believed. Our staff have the easiest jobs on the planet, yet grouse about absolutely nothing. Case in point: one requested time off, it was approved, yet this person was going to go to the union to file a grievance. Why? This individual didn't have the form itself returned. Amazing. This is the same person who wasted countless hours worrying about getting their credential, THEN, worrying about getting a job here...then........real self induced drama. Amazing.

Ho ho.

So, this am, Pilates and Spin. I'm good!

And as stated earlier, yes, we have a REAL Christmas tree. Decorated? Of coruse not. THAT would require effort. It doesn't lift a finger, and Stoney? Was sick @ home for 2 days? Didn't do a friggin' thing, but smoke.

Ho ho.

I worked out, I'm good.

Day 1240

Grrrrrr!

Really should know by now, whenever it's this time of year, stuff happens.

I hit Toxichouse to poke my head in yesterday, who's there? Lil' bastard didn't go to school, poor baby! Not even going the "when I was his age" shtick, but it IS true. He gets away with murder. I should realize by now that giving him his week's lunch money was a crucial error. You know that's never being recouped.

This eve, Spin. Too much going on this am.

Day 1239

??????

I know it's Christmas season, but this is getting ridiculous. Staff are really being odd. Add to this, people acting as though they accepted this position to never report for duty. Amazing. Ho ho.

This am, back to Pilates. Felt good. After the mediocrity of the weekend, felt good. Dunno wassup with these bullshit 5k's, but canNOT seem to run the entire distance. Wassup wit' me?????

Day 1238

!

Did the Long Island Christmas 5k, glad I did. Saw the usual suspects.

Back @ Toxichouse, Stoney giving me orders-fat chance asshole. It blows in, takes him to the movies. Blows enough to buy a Christmas tree, but did It? Of course not, everything not fun is my job. So, we still lack a tree. It DID make space, however, with head up Its ass, didn't think to dig the base outta the basement or rain today.

THEN, after the movies, Applebees. As we have an empty fridge.

Amazing.

Day 1237

Bitch IS clueless

Had a very good day. Had the house to myself, but had some running around. Yes, this included going BACK to Manhattan. I'd regged to do a race in CP, but hadda boogie because the LI race is a must do. HADDA go in to pick up my shirt. Only a runner would appreciate that. You paid your fee, gotta get the shirt. Butt ugly, though Fordham maroon, yet, hadda pay for a LIRR round trip ticket to get a fucking shirt. God help me. Nothing good playing @ my AMC, it's THAT time of year, so did a bit of cursory shopping, and back.

Stoney had previously hit on me for $$.

So, Bitch gets in, HAS to give a directive-house is a mess, no Christmas tree hasn't made room for it-ten days left, no advent wreath (nice religion teacher, but of course meets Its own Bitch need to tell ME what I SHOULD be doing: "why haven't you gotten him I(Stoney) the gym membership yet?" Now, FIRST he asked for it for CHRISTMAS. Second, is the fence THEY broke and I must pay for, paid for yet? Third, as we now exist in the land of electric heaters, has anyone chipped in on the bill? Fourth, he IS 17, GET A JOB. Nope, easier to tell ME what I should do.). Must be nice to have the luxury of being able to direct others, yet do absolutely nothing. Roll back the tape to the Pile years-remember-I was telling It, it might be better to put some $ in the bank? But no, every peep got gifted, every peeps peep got gifted, yet we had no heat. Amazing.

Fuck 'em both. Enough. Who pays every motherfucking bill? And THAT'S why I've no prob paying $800 for a Stones ticket!

Gets even better. Come back from the race this am, temps ok, every fucking heater on. Stoney runs downstairs to tell me what I need to do. Fat fucking chance. THIS after he smokes, plays computer games, and ignores the dog HE wanted. Last time the dog got walked? Last time either of those 2 even THOUGHT of picking up dogshit? And the bike? After breaking my chops to bring it in, STILL has a flat. Has $$$$$ for weed, but no $ to fix a flat. Bitch has $$$$$ for takeout (don't THINK of cooking, easier/softer way) AND $$$$$ for shopping for CRAP to litter the basement, but no $$$$$ for bills. And remember, after paying $800 to have a gate fixed THEY broke, I'm supposed to pay $57 x 12 for a gym membership? Ho ho ho.

Day 1236

SHIT!

What an AMAZING show! With an $800 ticket price, we thought we'd be on the floor, like in the 11th row. Nope. We were in the section facing the stage, opposite end of the arena. AND, they were great seats! Plenty of leg room, no one in front of us, HELLUVA concert, no opening act, easy commute. What wasn't to like? Amazing. Really amazing.

Day 1235

We're there!

Finally, last day of this training. It IS going well, but really, after HOW many decades? I'm NOW required to attend a supervisory training??????

But it DOES put me in perfect placement for tonight's fun! Should be interesting, first time @ a new venue.

Sbyil brings in Chinese food, no milk in the house, grills Stoney about his intake thereof.

And no, no Christmas tree yet. amazing.

Day 1234

Cloooooose

Was odd being @ One Penn Plaza. This is the building that towers over MSG, see pic below. why odd? Tonight's the big concert. Weird being right there, the excitement in the air IS palpable, but not even wanting to go. It's being carried on all the channels. So, IF I had gotten a ticket, imagine the knee pain, in a shit seat, for hours and hours.

No thanks. Do the training, roll downstairs, hit the train asap.

And, manana, STONES!!!!!

Day 1233

Out of my comfort zone

...not a bad thing, but not the s.o.s.

Today starts another odd week. 3 days of supervisory training. Yes, after doing this for 22+ years, I'm required. Joy. Hey, at least I'm getting well paid to sit. Note: @ no place are the words "stay awake" included.

Got a call yesterday from a former peep, left the state to go work for Suffolk Co Probation. He acknowledged that moving to county was an error. Still, great to hear from him. We're alot alike, nice to know there are other "lifers" out there.

Downside: had tix for Letterman taping. You'd think I could make it, but the Letterman peeps want you there @ 2pm. Training ends @ 4:30. Oh well.

and no...Bitch STILL didn't make room for the Christmas tree. Ho.

Day 1232

Needed it

Woke up, was on the fence re: sleeping in or hitting the gym (raining, so no run). Got to the gym, class cancelled. Good. Got tired of the me me me-ness of the instructor. Rather than a good workout, you left the gym having breached far too many boundaries. So, my decision was made for me.

The rest did NOT suck  :).

Still hurting from Sybil's pathology. It doesn't even realize how it hurt that Its thrift store garbage populates the living room, yet a treasured gift is cast aside.  Amazing. Pure white trash. And the crap in the living room is there, merely crap. I.E. an end table with church bulletins. Books purchased @ the thrift store, which will never be read, rather, eventually cast off to the basement to warp and eventually be thrown out. Yet, the chair I spent a fortune on, for It to cuddle our baby....cast aside. Really white trash.

And Stoney? Actually had the balls to ask why I chained Hulk, rather than let him run free. Of coruse, I indicated he would receive an answer immediately following his return from walking the beast.

Day 1231

Long time

32 years ago yesterday, Loewenstein, Bakeoff, Shake n' Bake, my roomate Joe Santos, and I were in my room in college, trying to make sense of Lennon's assassination. Wow.

Did the 5m yesterday. sucked, when George Devoe passes you, you suck, but I finished. Flat, still hadda take walk breaks. Hopefully today's 5k will be a total run. tough to get motivated knowing the shit I live in. Still, I AM out there.

Yesterday I come in, It's behaved, aside from the fact that a rocking chair I gave as a gift is banished to the shit heap to make room, meanwhile, chairs and tables It got from the thrift store remain. Lovely. and it wonders why I don't get it anything of value (aside from the dollar store cookies It gave me last year-remember that? And the Applebees $15 gift certificate for my birthday???? Really. Yet cries poverty, in view of the shit It gives Its friends. Can't we hasten this diabetes thing???).

Day 1230

Shoe's on the OTHER foot!

Had a good day yesterday. After making a point to wake me up-you know, slamming drawers etc.....Bitch left for whogivesafuckwhere, so had the place to myself. Got a run in, hit a movie, then back to chill. Nice!!!

This am, a 5m, one of those "you live on Long Island so you MUST do it" races. This one's local, and has good memories-the first distance I misjudged-as in "gee this is an awfully long last mile" (confused this 5m with a 5k, DUH!!!).

So, the shoe? Bitch comes in @ 8:30, right to bed. This, after all Its shit about MY bedtimes???? How nice to have the luxury to do nothing but busywork all day then come home to bitch about someone else.

Day 1229

Back to earth!

Back to Toxichouse, a.k.a. land of a thousand space heaters. Bitch can buy pizza for dinner ( ahhhhh, parenting), but can't contribute to the bills. Hence, spends $ on electric heaters, since guess who pays the electric bill. Bitch. Pure bitch.

Today, though, it's ok. I again realize this is small time. the big picture is I am recognized by my peers, have great relationships with them, and had a couple of days away from the shit. Nice.

Thanks Cary!

This am, text asking if I was doing the Jingle Ball. How great to have friends!

Day 1228

Turning back into a pumpkin.

3 days of chillaxin's over. Last half day of the Director's meeting, back to reality.

Was terrific seeing the faces on the other end of the phone, reconnecting with Albany peeps (20+ years of history there), eating with peeps, NOT having a screaming Bitch follow me around the house to scream @ me/villainize me, and only 2 calls from the job. Not bad.

Day 1227

I'm NOT alone!!!!!

Working for 3 days in Albany, Director's meeting. Had a great time yesterday reconnecting with some peeps who been around for a while, talking history/mutual peeps etc... Turns out, they been through the same shit I go through with Uber Bitch! One, amazing enough, actually just got remarried. Amazing how some go for Bitch #2. But, love is love.

How great was it to go to bed and NOT have a raging Harpie trailing my every step. Wow. Forgot what a good night's sleep was like.

Missed Neil in Bridgeport last night, but since I can't be in two places @ once, I had a great night.

Day 1226

Hot dog rolls

Yes, hot dog rolls. It comes in last evening, actually speaking. Commenting on the unusual temps etc.....goes out, comes back and WHAM! Goes off big time, I'm so o.c.d., I'm impossible, my issues are so......"my friends are waiting for the chance to kill you" (lovely thing to say in front of your son). And all because: I put the hot dog rolls the BITCH left on the counter, in the fridge (we DO have mice???). Its response, "we don't have mice." Guess that's why the BITCH bought glue traps, AND we caught one not thirty seconds after I put one down (after having the BITCH rage about THAT also). p.s. this am, mouse shit on the counter. Good.

Surreal. It'd JUST come back from a meeting, and is, literally, following me around the place RAGING, SCREAMING of MY need for therapy. Real sober behavior.

Diabetes, work your magic.

Day 1225

Whew!!!!!!!

Helluva Sunday, amazing show @ The Paramount-Ian Hunter AND Graham Parker! 3rd row! Downside, Sunday nights are tough, but well worth it.

The extent to which I love that venue can't be described. AND, they handed you a poster! $50 for tix, 2 amazing bands, really something!

Then, this am, turned back into a pumpkin. Ass dragging, stayed up too late to see the season finale of Boardwalk. Missed getting my miles, but too far gone for that. Between my CRAP pace and so much else happening, don't have the luxury of worrying solely about me me me.

But, we rocked!!!!!!!

Day 1224

First Bank of WHATTHEFUCK?????

So, here's the deal: I'm supposed to print money for Stoney to join the gym-again, buy a Christmas tree, pay the kid for fixing the gate, heat the house, and NOT eat a bullet. In short, everything. Oh yes, AND Christmas is coming.

Last night, 12:45am, I havta hit the living room, to tell the two idiots to turn down the tv. Stoney responds "if you got oil we wouldn't have the electric heaters on, and we could hear the tv." To which I, of course, responded "get a fuckin' job and contribute, as YOU watch MY cable." Spoiled fuck. AND, this am, he leaves a note asking for $. Really.

The GOOD news? Bitch has diabetes. Good. Enjoy the Snapple. Idiot. Oh yes, and the sugar It insists on using in coffee, and leaving a trail of.

Payback's a what?

Day 1223

The season begins!

Normally, this is "breakfast weekend," Hot Chocolate 5k this am, Pancake 5k manana, but of course I hadda be dif. Doing the Hot Chocolate 5k today. This one's odd. starts behind a gym, kinds lonely, and always cold to start. But manana, a 5m in NYC takes priority. Since I've been off my usual sched this week, figured the distance won't hurt, though I'm sure my pace will. Also, been getting really close to my LI peeps, not a bad thing, was great, but-let's don't get TOO close. Made that mistake too often before. Absence/distance is a good thing.

Day 1222

Ahhhhhhh

A day off, sorta. Two pinheads HADDA call me, the downside of being on call, but otherwise, peace.

Bitch woke up, took exception to my existing within the same 4 walls, and disappeared. Good.

So, the house to myself. God IS good. I can actually chill. THIS is nice!!!!!

Day 1221

Frightening

Came in to a shipwreck. Dirty clothes all over the dining room table (yes, underwear as well), food everywhere ("we have mice!"). When Sybil enters, has a fit that I (gasp!) am "SO o.c.d." that I put aples in the fridge. Yes, you read that correctly. The TWAT leaves dirty laundry ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE, complains we have mice, yet goes ballistic that I had the temerity (or as it puts it "You're SO o.c.d."-as if if It has ANY idea of whence it speaks?????) to actually put food in the fridge. Amazing.

This am, the TWAT blew a circuit breaker-again, it's a daily thing for the idiot. Hence, again, a cold environment.

Comes in for 15 minutes, rages that I put food in the fridge-after leaving the place a disaster area (people I showed pix to ask if this was damage from the hurricane), leaves for the rest of the night, comes back in and kills power to the place.

STILL think I make this crap up?

Day 1220

!

Last night, HOT!

Everest, the first opening act, DIDN'T suck. Nice. AND, took the stage on time.

Patti Smith, also, took the stage on time. Kicked ASS! Amazing. 65 years old, and still kicks ass like in the Max's Kansas City years. Closed with G-L-O-R-IIIIIIII, G-L-O-R-I-A! Amazing.

Neil? What can you say? The down side, I had to split @ the halfway point, but it was astonishing. Same stage as '79, the guy IS a collector! Took me back to Cathedral College, and the Rust Never Sleeps tour. Remembered that "whattheFUCK" feeling when I got back to the dorm. BLEW my mind. Last night, no different. His comment re: Garden renovations "I like what you've done with the place." Amazing. fucking amazing.

AND, with my peep, 8 rows back, MORE peeps-purely by chance!

GREAT night. Thanks Neil!!!!!

Day 1219

ClosER

The good news: Neil tonight.

The bad news: 2 opening acts, miss the season finale of Sons of Anarchy, and get in really late. Not such a major concern since there's really no home for me. I'm in the bathroom this am geting chewed out. Really. Amazing. Can't even seek solace there. Hurts.

But, tonight, we rock!!!!! Funny, a usual suspect will be sitting 9 rows behind us. Funny.

Day 1218

Monday, Monday

Monday morning gym workouts are always weird. Pilates is tough, nothing compared to the weekend's races, but tough. Manana's more chaos, gonna be a late night, but worth it.  ;)

Felt good.

Day 1217

SUCKED, but...

At least I was there!

Did Rob's Run. Why? Dunno, except, this was one of those "you gotta do it if you live on Long Island" runs. SUCKED big time, but, I did the 5 for 5.

Thank GOD Thanksgiving is over.

Day 1216

That DIDN'T suck

Did the fourth of five thanksgiving races. THIS one was xc, no small feat, BUT, I didn't havta walk any of it!!!!! THAT was the good news. the OTHER news? I STILL came in @ 10:30. Damn. Can't break 10 mins.

BUT, I also won a raffle! THAT, again, was the good news. The OTHER news: basket of cheer. Hey, a winning is a winning.

Stoney asked to have his gym membership renewed. Was a good chance to speak with him re: it's gonna take me til the end of Jan to pay for The Gate. Thereafter, the gym membership is his.

He really has no clue, but thankfully, a gym membership is worth it.

Day 1215

Day 3/5

This am, the John The Baptist Run Your Turkey Off 4k. No biggie, a nice flat 4k, but something to get you away from Psychotwat.

Be nice to, again, see my Long Island usual suspects.

Day 1214

2/5!

Did the Tues midday 5k. Today, Oyster Bay 5k-Thanksgiving run. Was s'posed to be flat, right. But did ok. Ran w/a peep. He was speaking of a messed up achilles, STILL kicked my ass. It's ok. I finished.

Manana 4k, Saturday 5k, Sunday 5k xc. The shit I do.

Pray for me, dealing with Sybil is tough.

Did the family Thanksgiving thing. Prepped myself-stopped by the job to get some gratitude. Patients are great.

Then, there was THEM. Uncle Pete/Pedrito is always cool, now sees me as his bro, as opposed to younger bro. We both were amazed The Priest showed.

Sybil, Twat that It is, spoke of It and Stoney going on another cruise. "Before I got married I went all the time." Don't cotnribute to ANY bills, yet have the balls to utter such a thing. And, lest we forget, went to Aruba the SAME year It stopped contributing to bills. Hence, since then, no oil heat (but it's ok to have portable electric heaters-I pay the electric bill).

Fortunately, between seeing my peeps this am, the peeps @ the job, and Pedrito, I was cool.

Good thing I have family. If had T'giving with Its family, we'd be eating in a cemetary.

the menu: drumstick, white meat turkey, ham, prime rib, fish, veggies, salad, and coffee. LOTS of meat there, but THAT was my version of pigging out.

Now, after It came into Toxichouse to puke (good), they left to go to a groupie's house. Good. Have the place to myself.

Thanks God.

Day 1213

Mejor!

Nights like last night show how things COULD be.

Cheap Trick and Aerosmith @ MSG. Really good. Third time this year for Cheap Trick. @ The Coliseum, The Paramount, and last night @ MSG. Aerosmith was really good, but loves me some Cheap Trick. (pic below).

Went with a peep, again showing how lovely things COULD be, if you dialed down the crazy.

Meanwhile, back @ Toxichouse, Sybil whines about mice, while leaving a package with cookies under the couch in the living room........no, Virginia, you CAN'T make this stuff up.

This am, Spin. Why? Yesterday had a lunchtime 5k. FDNY. Translation: great eats! (hey, having to function in a self contained manner, you gots'ta fend fo' yo' sef').

Day 1212

Malaise

The good news: the kid next door replaced the broken fence.

The bad news: $800 I don't have. One month before Christmas. And you KNOW Bitch will rage that I didn't play Santa. Amazing.

All because It doesn't know how to close a gate, and can't be bothered trying.

No, it isn't easy. Not at all. Knowing nothing is good, I do nothing well, and receive zero support. Lovely. It destroys the fence, I'm stuck replacing it. Satan pays.

As if that wasn't enuf, It says we have mice. No shit. When It cooks, food is all over-literally-all over the floor. Stoney? Snacks in his room. But I have o.c.d. Right.

No wonder I feel like shit. It asks my opinion of the lovely job he did replacing the fence, not giving a thought to paying for it. I'm nauseous even thinking of it. Having work done for which you have no cash. Wrong. Just wrong.

But, It WILL purchase a buttload of gifts for Its groupies.

Hurts, bad. Especially knowing nothing is appreciated.

Day 1211

Silly season

With the weekend's 4milers behind me, heaving a sigh of relief. Sucked @ both, but after The Big One was cancelled, climbing back on the horse hasd been tough. With zero support @ Toxichouse, it's REALLY tough sometimes. The one friggin' thing I live for, but, it is what it is.

With that, Pilates this am. Didn't wanna get outta bed. Too much hitting the fan @ the job. Actually dreaded going in, but of course, it ISN'T ever THAT bad.

So, Pilates felt ok.

Day 1210

Done, for now.

Did the NYRR 4m, glad I did. Felt GREAT to be the HELL outta the Bitch's environs. BUT, STILL reeling from yesterday's assault. Remember, it hadda clear out Its closet for cable guy. Lo and behold, cable guy didn't need to access that part-how the fuck was I to know. That translated into Its reason to go off. And again, leave Its son all alone, for another Sunday. but remember, I'm Satan.

I never buy.....I never use my $ for.....BUT, who the fuck pays every friggin' bill??? Who gets stuck for $800 to fix the fence the Bitch left hanging in the wind? And exacerbating THAT, yesterday, it leaves the back door wide open.

But I'm Satan.

Today, Satan ran. Life is good. Of course, got passed by Big Bird (he's in his 60's), but then again, he has support. I got jack shit. But I DO have me. All I need.

Day 1209

Better, but

Ok, did the Lynbrook 4m. Didn't TOTALLY suck (one of my peeps was a minute behind me, not bad. but I still suck), but that wasn't the reason I did it.

I hadda, to reconnect with my Long Island peeps.

That was the good news.

All hell broke loose on the job, but that could be handled. It IS, after all, called "work."

The problem was, of course, Toxichouse.

You could tell UberBitch was seeing Its groupies. I guess going to mass is a hobby, didn't have too hard a time blowing THAT off because its main groupie is in town. Translation, It has the right to rage, on the street, in full view of the neighbors. Good. let 'em see what a psychobitch does. But, of course, I'm Satan-remember that. Convenient excuse to avoid any responsibility. Its shit is piled all over the bedroom-cable guy needed access to lines. So, of course, Thursday, Grey's Anatomy was more important than cleaning up Its hoarders debris. Today and yesterday? Its groupies are in town. Of course, It regales the neighborhood with tales of my failings, while demanding an accounting of my finances. All in the presence of my son. Of course, THAT provides an opportunity to accuse me of stealing his longboard rather than have the wheels fixed. Really psychotic.

Amazing.

Bitch. Pure unadulterated Bitch.

Nice to be the perpetual victim. convenient to nest in the role of cancer victim. It's only been ten fucking years, get over it.

Useless Bitch.

Then again, I AM Satan.

Day 1208

GRRRRRRRR!!!

Internet down @ Toxichouse, Stoney tells me they'll be there bet 2-8pm. Of COURSE neither he nor Sybil are there, so guess who's lap this falls into. And guess what? NO ONE SHOWED!!!!!!! Again, it's all on me, and THEY are nowhere to be found.

So, still no internet there. Good.

Day 1207

Whewwww!!!!!

Last night's bored/membership meeting DIDN'T totally suck. Though I WAS wiped out from an after walk run, the run itself DID, after all, have walk breaks due to fallen trees. Nontheless, the meeting ended on a high note. Sassone has a hard on for me, but let him have his issues. Somewhere within, his heart is in the right place.

This am, Spin class. Nice. Feeling better.

Day 1206

Better than expected!

Ok, yesterday I call, folowing a call from my fixit guy. $800 to fix the gate!!!!! All because Uber Bitch couldn't be bothered remembering to close it properly. AND, adding insult to injury, Stoney clueless re: sure, just print up some $.

Turns out, he cleared some tree branches from the fence. Turns out the Stoner ain't totally useless.

AND, as Its birthday was yesterday, It was on Its better behavior.

Not worth $800, but not bad.

Tonight, run. Not my usual predawn run, but can't do THAT with the threat of a fallen tree poking my eye out. I'll scope it this evening (we have a club meeting tonight), so it'll be a win win all around.

Day 1205

Knew it!!!!!

Came in yesterday, Hulk'd escaped. Chewed through his leash, attacked another dog. Good. If he hadn't been leashed, and instead taken for a walk, this wouldn't have happened.

Sure enough, Stoney took him for a walk yesterday evening.

Of course, let's reexamine the obvious. I paid for the side and front doors to have locks placed on them, why are THEY not used?????? Because Grand Central Station-MY den, wouldn't then be part of the equation. They LOVE sabotgaging me. The side door? Piled high with Its hoarders crap-Stoney wouldn't even touch it for fear of Its psychotic reaction.

No, it isn't easy.

Tonight, Spin. Gonna feel TOO good!!!!!

Day 1204

wow

Sometimes if you let God do His thing, it works!

This am, went to the gym to grab a locker then head out for a run. I'm intercepted @ the front desk, indicating the Pilates instructor was looking for me. I was so accustomed to no classes, and today IS a holiday, I figured classes were off. Thank GOD I got half a class in. PLUS, got my miles. Everything worked out.

This is especially fortuitous as manana am is supposed to rain, so Spin tomorrow night.

How'd I get my miles in? Don't I usually take Mondays as a Pilates day? Sorta. Used to, but since they no longer have Monday Spin class, I need to get a proper workout, so this am was perfect. My Football Dad im, and texted me, hooked up with him. Though slower than usual-with built in breaks due to fallen trees, it balanced out well. Hald a Pilates class, my miles, and a nice guy to run with. God IS good.

Day 1203

Borrowed time

Like most things, neither Stoney nor Sybil listen, so they must deal with the result. I.E. I planned to seal off the back door, make the den a mancave. They FREAKED!!!!! They'd no longer be able to access Grand Central station. Sho' 'nuff, they can't anyway since they broke the door. Now that it's shut, opening it risks the possibility of NOT being able to again close it. If only they'd listened. It gets better-if they'd walked the fucking dog THEY wanted this wouldn't be an issue. Nope, easier to throw him in the backyard and let me clean the shit.

IF Bitch closed the gate properly, it wouldn't have blown off in the storm. But no, THAT'S somehow my fault as well.

Good. Fuck 'em.

Last night It took him to the movies. Let that sink in. A 17 year old taken to the movies by someone OTHER than a girlfriend. Couldn't be our local theater-he was embarassed to be seen by his peeps. Rightfully so.

So, I'm gonna be out $500 at least to get this goddamned fence fixed. and MY return on investment? I will again have my den turned into Grand Central Station.

Last night? Before leaving, It FREAKS that I was using Its blanket. Bastard ain't I? I'm talkin', RIPPED it off me. Bitch IS nuts.

No, it isn't easy.

Day 1202

Finish line's in sight!

Ok, Spin + 3m this am. The Spin class was weird. People be buggin'.

You could tell people hadn't been to the gym, especially when the instructor announced this as the "After the Storm" class. Place was packed. Felt good.

The Line was cleared of trees, but no Striders. Sucks for them, but I got my miles.

Now for Toxichouse.

With the broken back door, they that begged for a dog put him out front. Tied to a tree. nice.

So, Jeff, the busybody neighbor from across the street, addict, married to Snaggletooth (the Cher look alike who wanted to do me while Sybil was in the hospital), rings the doorbell asking Sybil if It remembered Its dog was out front. Actually asked it "how would YOU like..." Good. It FINALLY sees what a dick he is.

Day 1201

Sooooo close!!!!!

Gym this am, SAUNA WORKING!!!!! Most of the peeps still m.i.a., but desk guy was there, and I was there.

Reports that NYRR is giving finisher's medals to they that drop by. dunno how I feel about that.

Manana, either Spin or The Line. This time of year is dodgy-mud/puddles from the melting snow.

Day 1200

:)

Babysteps kiddies, babysteps.

No joke. The GOOD news: the gym was open (YAYYYYYY).

Bad news: sauna on the fritz (GRRRRRRR)

Hey, take what you can get. At least I was able to reconnect. And of course, the usual suspects were there, basketball guy and gnome. The icing on the cake, Carol was on the desk. A kindred spirit. Minions couldn't get to the job, so bosses roll up their sleeves and do what it takes. Bless her.

Felt good.

Now, if this conspiracy to keep me from running would pass.......Marathon a no go, gym closed, gym opens BUT SNOW. JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ.

...and again, remember, I do nothing per Sybil.

But wait! It got better!!!!!!! (shit sandwich grows exponentially). Last evening, It enters and proceeds to tell ME what my role is as husband. And yes, I reminded It of Its role as wife, which It hasn't fulfilled in 10 years. Does it cook? Clean? Fulfill her "wifely duties?" No on all countsd. Kills me that Stoney drank Its kool-aid, but hey, it is what it is.

see pic below, sums it up.

Day 1199

"I'm the only one that does anything....."

Can you believe It uttered these words????????

Came in yesterday, put the dog out, back door won't close. Bottom seal shot, of course I havta.....two wastes of flesh in those 4 walls, did either lift a finger? Of course not. Fortunately, my man next door bailed me out. The door was shut. Now, today we have ANOTHER Noreaster, so closing it was very important. Now, remember, when I had the roof repaired, the plan had been to seal that door. Sure enough, if my plan had been executed, yesterday wouldn't have ever happened.

Adding insult to injury, my man says each part (there are 2) of the gate that broke because It couldn't be bothered closing it, costs $250. Thus, I'm out $500+ because this asshole can't be bothered properly closing a gate!!!!!

But It is the only one who does anything???????????? It invited an elderly woman to stay with us, then is out all day, leaving a 17 year old in charge??????

It wants a dog, yet never cleans up thereafter??? THEN takes exception to where I put the dogpoop??????? REALLY good at evading any responsibility isn't It???????? But God forbid I have a mancave!

But wait, it got better. When options were discussed, i.e. use the side door or front door, It says use the front to put Hulk out as the side door has "too much crap" blocking it. Let that sink in: MOVE THE CRAP!!!!!!!!!!! No, instead, use the front door to put the dog out? Noooo, wait, it got EVEN better!!!!! WALK THE DOG!!!!! THAT requires...ummmmm.....what's the word.....WORK? Not @ MY address. Better to tear ME a new one for fixing the roof and painting the den, cast aspersions on hard work, but you yourself do NOTHING. Amazing.

Yet, the two of them lift not a finger.

Yet It perceives Itself as the only one...........psycho.

Day 1198

So it goes.....

Gas lines continue, gym STILL closed. Good. Sucks, but good. Between the energy involved in the daily commute, and and drama in Toxichouse, my hands are full.

Wish I had the time, but the gym's closure just makes the options narrower-good.

Day 1197

Progress?

Gas lines are ridiculous, BUT the gym IS open. Ok, babysteps.

Unfortunately, the energy I'd use running or working out is now applied to the commute.

This am, sardines on the lirr. Packed. I'm talking PACKED.

But, I made it. Of course, SHOULD'A been a day off, my traditional "day after The Big One" off, but was not to be.

Day 1196

Weeeeeeird

Sucks to NOT have the one thing you've been gearing up to. Kind'a like Christmas being cancelled.

Worse to have the TWAT living under my roof on a rampage, as even, now, my privacy is taken from me. It is kind enough to open MY home to some 92 year old jewish woman. That, in and of itself isn't the issue. IT proceeds to disappear all day!!!!! Fucking incredible.

Fuck this, really. The one fucking thing I relish and now THAT's no more. Damn.

Day 1195

shit

First The Big One's on, now cancelled. Fuck.

The ONE fucking thing that was good in all this shit, gone.

Fortunately, my peeps and I STILL had our pre race dinner. The menu mightn't have been as carb heavy, but The Quebec Crew was there! What a pleasure.

Of course, it hurts more than anything that Toxichouse exacerbates it all. Stoney vandalizing my things, and Sybil cursing my existence. Another example: today, I'm eating: eggs and pasta. It goes into a rage about my using the pasta. Fucking amazing. I really have to beg permission to breathe. Fucking cunt.

But again, my peeps are there. Football dad George called (he still lacks power). Tom called, he's just totally out of everything. After marrying Yoko, he's lives outta the loop.

Never ever felt so alone, but my peeps are an arms length away.

DOES blow my mind how so few grasp the necessity of The Big One. Really defines ignorance.

Day 1194

This is gonna hurt

Ok, TRIED to chill last night, It comes in, all kinds'a noise. Singing @ the top of Its lungs, slamming cabinet doors...you know the drill.

I was there this am, repeated Its behavior, Stoney follows me outside pissed that I was doing this on purpose. So, lemme unnerstan, it's ok for Sybil but not for anyone else? Let's see where THIS goes.

This am, gym STILL closed. All things considered, good. Force my ass to rest.

Yesterday, though took the cake. Free mta, nice. BUT, stations desolate. See the pic below. Really creepy. Escape from NY/End of Days type shit.

Hurts that so many don't grasp why it's so important to hold The Big One. They also don't understand the need for life to go on. Not to mention the income generated.

Hurts worse that I'm so alone in this. Oh well. It is what it is.

Day 1193

Getting there, little by slowly

Ok, the gym is STILL closed, but not an entirely bad thing. This week WAS supposed to be a taper, guess it's now a forced taper. Not even a Spin class. Not, again, entirely bad.

The good news? The Big One is resoundingly on!!!!! Good.

Bad news: they that exist under my roof are truly useless. With the gate gone, do they walk the dog THEY wanted? Of course not. Thorw a leash around the basketball stabd, leave him out. Did they even lift a finger to clean up debris after the storm? Of course not. BUT, It goes to Baldwin to play the "lean on me" role in THEIR home devastation, and Stoney is out with his peeps. Fuck 'em. Sunday, I have my event of the year.

Day 1192

It is what it is

Electricity was back @ Toxichouse yesterday, that was good, Sons of Anarchy, good.

Neighbor can fix my fence, good!

Bitch went off, again, "you took..." Imagine I actually hadda eat something from the fridge.

Downside of it all: again, no run. Can't say I won't be rested!!!

Day 1191

At least I'll have fresh legs!

Not too enamored of the back to back days off, but it is what it is. No run if I can't shower thereafter, and the gym's shut again. Tough to open w/o elec.

Toxichouse? The gate Sybil broke, that they freaked over, gone. Destroyed. Good. Make them walk the fucking dog. Of course they havta traipse through my den to walk him in the backyard, but they walk him nontheless. Lazy useless assholes. Think they have it in for my den?

Day 1190

Smarting

Good thing about marathon running: nothing else matters. Makes shit like yesterday's drama seem like chump change. Not that it hurts any less.

And best of all? THIS serves as Uberbitch's excuse to pile on, AND Stoney's excuse to seek means of escape. What was in fact a great thing-my making arrangements to get the roof fixed, translates into "it's all about YOU. YOU got YOUR den fixed." Bear in  mind, if they walked the dog, or, if Bitch had closed the gate, none of this would'a happened. Easier to Satanize me. Lets them play the victim.

The down side of today? rest day, by necessity. I'll do many things, but running in rain sucks. Period. With the gym closed, no sauna, so, fuckit. Nice to recover, for once.

Unfortunately, this leaves me to deal with the chaos without my release.

Imagine, knowing I have 26 patients and 20+ staff to worry about, THEY can't be supportive. Fuck them both.

Not even mentioning how much it hirts to see people embraced after running a race, let alone the amazing support most get @ The Big One. Me, I get shit. It's ok, I know who I am.

But wait, there's more!!!

Stoney, it seems, hasn't smoked enough. So this evening-and remember, I have enough to worry about with the safety of the unit, he decides to go off, big time. And spits @ me, his father. Little asshole. Never in my life have I witnessed this level of disrespect. I truly, honestly, cannot WAIT until he gets arrested. Remember, he has a wallet full of cash, and no job. I count the days.

And from where does this behavior originate? Take a guess. Hated in my own home. Fuck them both. Truly.

Of course, Twat piles on. Amazing.

And what..you wonder...started it? They hadda go outside to fix the gate. The one the TWAT left open and the wind damaged. "I don't wanna lose another dog..." Of coruse, the obvious answer: WALK THE FUCKING DOG. No, easier to throw him in the backyard and let ME clean the dog shit. Asshole. "Oh I wanna doggy. I'll.......right."

Disrespectful asshole. AND he has the BALLS to say "what, jusdt because you're my father I'm supposed to....." YES ASSHOLE, respect your parents.

And remember, in the background, TWAT piling on, much easier than taking responsibility. If IT closed the gate, it wouldn't have been damaged. UH.

I pray for his arrest and Its demise. ASAP. Both need to learn.

Day 1189

Got some!!!!!

First, last night's concert: WOW!!!! As if the Indigo Girls Thursday wasn't hot, Social D ROCKED! Amazing.

Then this am 5m in The Park. Nice way to prep for next Sunday.

Peeps going nuts over the storm. Hey, I live with a mental patient, a 17 year old son, and and HUGE dog, REALLY think this storm can hold a candle to that?

Day 1188

:)

Got my miles!!!

All this fucking talk about a hurricane, jeeeez. Between staff being stupid, having to be micromanaged by Albany, and the Crazy Twat I live with. wow......

But, today, I ran! Life is good.

My Dim Sum peeps were there as well. We really ARE on the same wavelength. All of us are apparently off, yet hit the asphalt @ the same time. Same time adjustment. Truly running transcends all.

...And again, tonight, we ROCK!!! Yay!

Day 1187

Cockblocked!

Ok, had another Friday off, sorta.

Spin class this am, then off to NYC. Saw Cloud Atlas. SUCKED. I walked out. Was interviewed by my buddy Grace for Beyond the Trailer. Actually gave it ZERO stars. 4 calls during the flick-(one AT THE START!!!!!!!) and considering how bad the flick was, barely made a dif.

Then, back to Toxichouse, Stoney's on the couch with a babe! Bless him.

Unfortunately, I blocked his action. WAS a good bonding moment. After she left, he thanked me for cutting into his scene, I told him to put something on the door, that'd be my sign to disappear for 2 hours. likewise, told him he didn't have my digits because he gave 'em tio Sybil, and I hadda change the number, again.

The babe was from school, but a MODEL!!!!! Well done son!

Pic below from last nights fun! 6th row!!!!!!!

Day 1186

Amazing

This am, got my miles. Ran, briefly, with my main Dim Sum peep. Made like I needed to whizz. Why? Needed to slow down. This guy was smokin' me!!!!! AND he's 67!!!!! DAYUM. Really a helluva guy. And I found out his secret/why he smokes me: he's NORMAL! He runs 2-3x weekly. Rested bastard ;)  . He doing The Big One as well, looking to come in around 5. I plan to come in 'round Sunday.

This am is typical of this time of year. Cool, not cold, 50-ish. Perfect shorts and long sleeves, with the ability to NOT stank up your stuff/get another day's wear outta it.

Day 1185

Ahhhhhhhhh


Yesterday evening, Sybil lighting 2 dozen (yes, 24) candles. Imagine what the walls are gonna look like. I discovered this when I went from the den to living room. Was so bad, my eyes hurt. Crazy bitch. AND the tv was CRANKED. Obviously It was being manic, and guess what part of Its cycle? So, I was smart enough to ignore It. Not worth the aggro. AND, you KNOW It was spoiling for a fight. Not on my watch. I ran, I was ok.

This am, Pilates and Spin. Feeling good. Rain predicted, no worries. Nice to have my knees NOT ache.

Indigo Girls tomorrow night!

Day 1184

More gooder!!!!!

GREAT morning. Crisp, 50 degs, niiice. Long sleeves and shorts. Didn't break a sweat, but got my miles. NIIIIIICE. about 12 days until...THE BIG ONE!!! No time to get hurt, but knees feeling good. Still annoyed there was no Spin yesterday, but got some Pilates. I'm good. Today I ran, even better.

Day 1183

Runnus Interruptus

No run this am, Pilates. Went back to the gym to Spin, no class. I'm ok with that. Too much happenin'. My new Assistant Director started this am. An outsider. It's GREAT to have a limb, but he IS an outsider and thus needs to be trained about not only facility ops but agency as well. I'm hoarse, but this is a short term investment for a long term gain.

13 days until The Big One.

Day 1182

Don't tread???

So, confronted Stoney with The Calendar. Years ago, the Secretary gave me a golf calendar-the kind to have to set daily with 2 cubes for the date. I kept it on my birthday, as a sign to me that Sybil dropped the ball. Now, remember, Bitch and Stoney have every right to confront me on anything I move in MY house, and  THEY have the right to fuck with my stuff, i.e. Bitch vandalizing my stuff in the den, Stoney fucking with my calendar-after confronting ME about arranging shit in the fridge. Can you imagine? Would YOU have EVER thought of confronting YOUR parents????? AND, HE takes offense when I tell him I don't owe a child living in MY house an accounting of my actions. Asshole. Wonder where he gets that from?????

Best of all, Ubertwat actually has the balls to tell me what I "should" do about whatever it was that struck Its cranium. Now remember, perfect 12 steppers don"t "should," but It feels It can direct everyone. As Its area of the house is a shambles, It takes extraordinary measures to sabotage my den. Twat.

BUT, this am, got some miles. Not MY miles, but some. Was a 4m, in the streets, with HORRIBLE traffic control, but whatthefuck. I ran.

WAS nice to see my LI peeps, though I missed the Forest park 5k. Oh well, can't be in both places. DID hurt to see none of my Queens peeps, but they that weren't @ Forest Park are outta the game-Quantum Who? Vince was actually there, wearing his Striders finery. I was shocked, you'd think he'd be in his GLIRC or NRP attire. Glad to see the green!

Day 1181

Don't Treat On Me

Got up this am, Stoney pms'ing about stuff being moved in the fridge. Amazing. Disrespectful cunt.

THEN, I come in from this am's 10k, Sybil had, again, vandalized my stuff.

So, lemme understand, I can't arrange the fridge, but it's ok to fuck with my belongings.

Think it's easy?

But, today, I ran. Life is good. Couple'a breaks, but @ race pace, jogged through the water stops. Did ok.

Beat being with Stoney and Ubercunt anyway.

Frightening how He takes after Its bad habits.

Day 1180

15 Days!!!!!

Not too long before The Big One. Actually hadda take this entire week off-knees. Instead, did Spin + Pilates daily. Not bad. Don't feel like I missed out.

This am, Stoney: "don't eat my cereal." I should pack up MY modem so they can't surf MY internet. Ditto MY cable, MY electricity. And the Twat, of course, says nothing. Teach religion, but what about that commandment about honoring????

Day 1179

Another good one, in SPITE of......

Led Zep's "Celebration Day" made my week. Took me back to Pedrito getting Eddie to take me to msg, Eddie asking if I wanted a beer, man oh man. Last row in the nosebleeds, Bonzo's solo, needing to pee but couldn't miss a second. Plant on the cover of People that week. Man oh man!!!! Blown eardrums!!! Even the crowd @ the theater understood last night: everyone said it wasn't loud enough. Amazing.

And then..Toxichouse. Sybil raging about no eggs. It went shopping. Now remember what normal people do. It was raging because Stoney wanted something involving eggs-@ 10pm no less, and before It went shopping It-of course-neglected to check the fridge. Instead, shift responsibility to me: "I asked you to leave a note..."   "...yesterdayI had to go back out and buy mustard..." My answer "are you blind????? Open the fridge and LOOK."

Truly amazing. Of course this became my fault. Total disavowal of responsibility for anything.

But this am, Spin AND got my miles. Life is good.

Day 1178

What I wouldn't give......

When YOU get home, chillaxin' watch some tube, what happens around you? For me: Bipolar Psycho decides to vacuum and flit all over in the midst of a manic upswing. Bear in mind, this is @ 9pm. And I wonder why I have no energy. God forbid you respect the people who live under the same roof-Stoney's blasted outta his shorts, fast asleep-except to pick up his head to ask me to close the bedroom door. It? Vacuuming, singing @ the top of it's lungs. Not even a song, nonsense. Imagine: a nut job who did WAY too much coke, buzzing from one area of the house to the next. This is what I deal with. Daily.

So, with knees STILL killing me-this is getting ponderous-did Pilates and Spin. I'm ok. I'll continue to be ok, but really miss my miles.

Tonight, Zeppelin! Life is good.

Day 1177

OUCH!!!!!!!

REALLY was out of it yesterday evening, totally crashed. Delayed effects of Sunday's 1/2. Why? Dunno. Didn't kill myself, nice easy pace, walk breaks after mile 10. But, the knees are the knees.

This am, nothing. No workout, no run, nothing. Knees were in pain and had zero energy. Gotta listen to the body.

Feels odd-out of sorts-but not bad. When I look @ some of my hard(er) charging peeps, Boston qualifiers, people trying to pr every race, I see where they end up. Hurt, and not running. I'm still in the game. Nice. Makes an off day tolerable.

What DOES slay me is non runners. I see them like I used to see non AA peeps. Those that "get it" and they that don't. True n'est pas?

Day 1176

?

Thankfully, after doing the half yesterday, was scheduled for a rest day. Translation: Pilates and Spin. Really glad I did.

Felt good, prepared me for the drama.

Day 1175

This IS the day

another 1/2 today. Last week was Staten Island, today: Grete's. A run we used to do as a group, but as all bullshit is doomed to die, the group did. I'm there, all that matters.

Sybil? Asks what "we" are going to do for oil heat. My usual response: I'll gladly pay if we can do without mortgage payments or cable. It's answer: "you make..."  "where does your money...?" Bitch.
Sorry, useless Bitch. Don't wanna insult bitches.

Day 1174

No one knows what it's like.......

Ok, got my miles yesterday, did some work in the den, hit the movies. A good day, until...UNTIL...numerous phoen calls from The Job. And the killer: several from my supervisor, who actually asked where i was (this is the same person who signed my time off request, who told me I had too many hours to burn up). BUT, my gig involves being on call. It is what it is-and you know I love my gig.

So, this am, a one miler, then off to manhattan. Pick up my number for manana's 1/2 (thank GOD it starts @ 10:30, gonna be a long day today), then Feldenkrais.

Day 1173

AGAIN???

Yes, again. It's that time of year. Sybil storms into the place (after leaving it in sub-shipwreck status. No joke. It HADDA get some sun yesterday, (what cancer survivor doesn't?), left Its beach chair out, left veggies all over the kitchen floor, THEN comes back at night raging about "oil...heat...open windows..." Of course Stoney points the finger @ me re: opening windows. Imagine that? Not only do I have the gall to eat food from the fridge, but I also opened windows. Call out the hounds!!!!!

So, thank GOD, this am, laced 'em up, got my miles. Life is good.

Day 1172

Big surprise!

Stoney leaves his wallet between his mattress and boxspring. Classic teenager mistake. Contraband is ALWAYS stashed there.

What's within it? Cash. As in CASH. As in almost $100. Let that sink in. No "job," no "allowance," demands $5 daily for lunch. Hmmmmmm. Think he's doing more than smoking?

Thank GOD this am, a GOOD Spin class. Knees are friggin' killing me, this filled in nicely.

Day 1171

Saw THAT coming, pt. 2

With Sybil m.i.a., sleeping elsewhere in the name of "work"-caring for an elderly person, thus evading yet any parenting, you KNEW It would do a drive-by, cause some drama, then leave. And of course It did. Came in, scoped the den, vandalized my stuff, then left. Amazing. What a sick patient. And, again, best of all, I see people who eagerly head home, I go with great trepidation, never knowing what I'll find. And IT has the tits to dis the place by referring to it as an "alcoholic house."

And, it gets BETTER, Stoney tries picking a fight. Bastard actually thinks I'm the bad guy. Amazing. Hurts, hurts bad.

This am, rain. Good. Knees killing me, never took a rest day after the half. So, this am, Spin.

Day 1170

You can't write stuff this good.

You knew It would lose It's mind when It saw the den. Of course It did. Now think, there's really no difference between the strength of emotion between seeing my things moved back in, or if I'd been caught in flagrante delicto. You'd think something of importance happened. This Bitch really went off. "You're such a LIAR. L-I-A-R,"  "you need THERAPY..." amazing. Guess I don't have a right to put stuff in my house.

But wait, it got better!

I, of course, left, when I returned, It was gone. However, the damage was done. My stuff was again vandalized, and stickit notes were affixed to everything in the fridge, i.e. "do not touch, Keith's dinner Monday..." Amazing. Can you imagine I'd actually have the nerve to eat something from the fridge in my house. Call the lawyers!!! AND, after all the manufcatured psychosis, did he even touch any of the aforementioned, stickitnoted food? Of course not. It was merely staking out Its territory. Amazing.

So, thankfully, this am no rain. Got my miles. I'm good!!!!!

***and why stickit notes? It hasn't slept in Toxichouse for days (GREAT parenting eh?????? Child being raised as a latchkey kid). It's latest concept of "work" is caring for some old person.

Day 1169

Saw THAT comin'!

Should'a taken this am off, but figured, do an easy 6-7, better than stewing/licking my wounds. Felt good. Was NIPPY this am-long sleeves def.

Then off to reclaim the den.

Hadda hit the area where the stuff was stored, but not before clearing out the old fold out bed.

THIS thing was a piece of work. The Bitch NEVER EVER cleaned, mouse shit everywhere, an old cordless phone behind it. Truly a useless Bitch. Remember, this is the same person that, rather than initiate corrective action, bought the weed smoking offspring air fresheners.

So, get everything back in.

THEN, guess who comes in, and vandalizes EVERYTHING!!!!!

I'd taped all the boxed, guess what was disrupted?

And, the ultimate proof, Bitch doesn;t know I have a webcamera recording everything.

Go ahead, talk to your supposed lawyer. THAT'S your word, I have proof of not only vandalism, but remember when it intercepted my credit card and used it? That's...what's the word.....FELONY????

It sees all my shit boxed, taped, stacked, puts notes on ALL the food: "Keith's dinner,"  "Keith's chicken..." sick bitch. God forbid I actually eat something from the fridge in MY house.

...think It's going mental (ER???). Good.

Day 1168

Didn't TOTALLY suck!

Did the Staten Island Half. Was totally prepared to bail, rain had been predicted. But no, pressed on. Glad I did. My time SUCKED, but I did what I set out to do.

(rain kicked in @ mile 11, if I'd hauled ass I would'a beat it, but I was happy merely to NOT eat a bullet, tough weekend).

At least I didn't d.n.s. Also, got my halves in for the year. Did the series.

THAT was the good news.

Birthday wise? FUCKED up beyond belief. But, fuck it. Thank GOD it's over.

Day 1167

Happy FUCKING Birthday!

So, after sleeping all day (after being up all night, knee deep in a manic episode), where is TWAT?   I dunno, no idea.

Stoney heads out to hang/smoke last night, wishes me a happy birthday in case he isn't here when the TWAT returns with "your birthday stuff." Of course, I wake up, TWAT isn't even home.

And It has the tits to whine about an "alcoholic home?"

Amazing.

Right now, dry, rain predicted to start 'round noon. We'll see.

Amazing. Birthday SUCKED. As usual.

Day 1166

Check!

This am, Spin class. REALLY needed a race-nice to have one on my birthday. BUT, with manana's 1/2, gotta chill-such as it is. Rain predicted for manana, so I MAY bail, but now they say rain starts @ noon.

So, did Spin @ the gym. Felt great to be among my workout peeps. The instructor knows her shit. Broke my balls, but in a good way.

Then, did the lawn, and got the FUCK out of Toxichouse.

Sybil was up ALL NIGHT painting. There was leftover pain from the roof/ceiling, so of course TWAT hadda paint-literally-everything. Really????? Do you pain window frames? METAL window frames? Using the same paint you used on wooden doors??????? Fucking nut case.

THEN, It actually has the tits to think it's gonna do my den. Amazing. Fucking amazing. the living room is literally a shambles, but It thinks It has a say re: my den.

Happy fucking birthday to me.

A dollar store card, a Dunkin donuts gift card and a $15 Applebees card. Amazing.

Thank God for my peeps.

Day 1165

wow!!!!!

FINALLY cut the cord. There was the last Spin class scheduled until they get they get their shit together. (remember last week was a conversation while cycling, hardly a class). So fuck it, I ran. Felt REALLY good. Got my miles damnit!!!!!

Once again proving, life can fall to shit, but put one foot in front of the other, and all can be well. WAS weird NOT seeing my usual peeps, but a couple were out there. Suffice to say, I wasn't alone (even though I left Toxichouse an hour later-it WAS, after all, a day off from the job. Of course, THAT'S theoretical, I always end up going in. You would too if you lived where I do).

This weekend, Staten Island Half...if..........rain predicted. We will see. Rain predicted for Sat night into Sun. If it's raining Sunday am, fuck it, I ain't doing a half in the rain.

We will see.

Day 1164

close, SO close

ALMOST made a clean entry.

Had our club bored/membership yesterday. Went well.

Got into Toxichouse, quiet. THEN, It comes in. Starts on a tear, again. What a fucking pain. PLEASE go away!!!!! AND, after all the fuss about the den door, It has NOTHING to say. No ideas, no contribution (and who, by the way, IS paying for all this???). Think it's easy? Meanwhile, for HOW many weeks has Stoney's bike had a flat? Nooo, better to spend your $ on weed. Moron. And of course, does Bitch do anything? No, of course not. Critique all, do jackshit.

This am, misting, but got my miles. REALLY dragging, but I made it! Feels good.

Day 1163

So, after It rages about the den, promising to go to Loews etc...where is It??? A series of medical appointments. Jeez, how do you spell "displacement?" Fucking shipwreck. It is HELL bent on using the den as Grand Central-despite having 2 other exits. Yesterday, as painters do, there were tarps everywhere, plastic sheeting preventing access...until It struck. Tore thru all of it. And Stoney wonders why things fall to shit.

BUT, this am, got my miles. Tired of the 6am class bullshit, wherein the Instructor whines about their boss, or no one shows for class. More running more gooder. THEN, to ramp things up a bit, Spin class as well.

EXHAUSTED, but feeling REALLY good.

Icing on the cake: paid for The Big One bus @ Runner's Edge.

KNEW that was coming

Of course I got The Call. Psycho got my new # from the kid doing the den, FREAKING that I was (gasp) actually having The Mancave done, specifically: the back door being walled up. Now think, there's the front door and side door, but THAT would blunt the Bitch's efforts to sabotage everything, a.k.a.: rather than walk the dog or use the other doors, It HAS to trapise thru the den. Typical.

But wait, it gets better. It tells the kid to wait while It decides what It wants done. ??????? I indicate to him, he should not go a penny over the $ he has, taking great care to guard his profit margin and not do us any favors. He apokogized, indicating he couldn't lie to It. I explained he didn't owe an explanation, that he was warned he was walking into a shitstorm.

Imagine, The Bitch actually thinks It has a right to give Its 2 cents worth. Better: It actually thinks It can click Its heels, pick something It wants done, n' I'm gonna pay for it. Amazing. Truly amazing.

It destroys/decorates the living room-in  which I'm not welcome. It destroys the basement-which I'd make PERFECT in Its absence. It destroys/decorates the bedroom-which It doesn't sleep in. It destroys/fills Stoney's room with CRAP, everywhere.

But 1)I pay to have the roof repaired, but 2)have NO say over anything else.

Utterly amazing.

Take some more meds. Better, drink too much coffee to stay up too late to do your Avon orders, then take a sleeping pill, THEN sponsor half the planet having convinced them you're a model of sobriety.

You could tell the kid felt bad. He witnessed how mental the Bitch is. Good.

And Stoney wonders why things are falling to bits? Does The Bitch lift a finger to do ANYTHING? THEN, when someone does, It sabotages EVERYTHING.

Fuck it. I tried.

And yes, changed my number, again. WhattheFUCK possesses It to think It has a right to call the Batphone????? As if anything It ever called about was an emergency? AND It has the balls to call me "smartass" for changing the number. It has NO clue that It CANNOT call a work phone with psycho shit.

Good, wait 'til Stoney asks for hangout money. First bank of dad is officially closed.

Day 1162

So far, so what

Ok, the roof/ceiling thing is doing well. Thank you GOD. At least SOMETHING is doing ok.

Of course, Stoney and his Bitch mom haven't yet learned. Shit is STILL piled against the side door. Of course, the dog THEY begged for is STILL not taken for a walk. Better to let him in the backyard to shit on the grass. Lazy assholes.

So, last eve, time to kill, hit a meeting. (no coincidences). Sitting directly across from me, a peep from 20+ years ago. Didn't recognize me, and me being me, I said nothing. Great to see him, tickled me endlessly.

This am, got my miles. REALLY felt good.

Tonight, Spin?

Day 1161

...like I NEED this?????

Normally, someone doing something in the home is supported. But WE know better don't we? Both Sybil AND Stoney are on my case about the den. I can't WAIT until they try letting Hulk out from the side door. FIRST, you havta push through the barrage of "hoarders" crap Sybil stacked up there.

Imagine, the comment was "the den would make a nice hangout for Keith and his friends." JEEEEEZ. I now understand: do all the work, pay the bills, and get shit on. Have either of them lifted a finger? When was the last time either picked up dog shit-but yet critique where I put it??? When did either vacuum the den? Yet they LOVE treating it like Grand Central Station. Amazing. Truly amazing.

So, this am, Pilates and Spin. Feels REALLY good.

Day 1160

Yin/Yang.

Tomato/tomaaaaahto

Good news: got my run in, got my miles.

Bad news: everything else.

You KNOW it's driving Sybil NUTS that the den is being done. Now, a normal person would applaud the work I am having done, I am paying for. What keeps the bitch from doing the same with its living room or basement? Of course, It uses the "Your son" card. As in "That would make a nice area for his friends." Amazing, not gonna happen. I apparently deserve nothing. Does he-or it for that matter, lift even a finger? Has It EVEr so much as made the bed? Yet, the argument is that I have control issues, and thus, hide the remote. No, it is a means of assuring that neither uses the bedroom as a lounge. Of course, THAT would incur the taking of responsibility. Of which neither is capable. Funnier still, Stoney actually thinks he has a say in the matter. Flip the coin, yet again, did Sybil EVER vacuum the fucking den? No, It enjoys sabotaging my every effort, making a point to slam the shit outta the door I attempted to fix. Remember THAT debacle? I'm trying to fix it, while it is throwing my laptop and guitars to the ground. Psycho twat.

And the job, of course, THAT decides to become strange as well. The poop is hitting the fan on ALL fronts.

BUT, this am, I ran. I got my miles. It is a good day. THAT no one can affect.

Pix below from yesterday. WAS tempted to go back and see Jack White again, but hey, can't avoid the Toxicity every night.

Day 1159

pure unadulterated BITCH

It loses Its key (knew this was a matter of time), I'd dozed off, It FREAKS!!! Imagine, a door is actually...ummm...LOCKED??? Starts with Its "THERAPY" raging...yeah yeah yeah. THEN, goes off BIG time on The Den. Of course, the ONE room in the house that hasn't fallen to shit. Pure Bitch.

This am, funeral of one of my students. Died @ 37 on The Boulevard of Death on his bike. Fortunately, this served as a reunion of sorts. Was GREAT to see my kids. They're 37 as well, but forever MY KIDS. Bless them.

Fortunately, this am, bright n' early, got my miles. Think I needed 'em???

Day 1158

Bitch.

This am, raining. Good. usually I do Spin on Fridays. In view of all that's happening, good choice-though I DO wish I'd run. Spin class was an exercise (hah, good one) in futility. It was just me and the instructor, later Robert walked in-this guy CANNOT shut up. So, between him and the instructor, neither could shuttheFUCK up. Thus, it was really 45 mins on a stationary bike.

However, I needed the break. Today I hadda clear out the den, since Monday the roof gets replaced. Took pretty much an entire room's worth of shit and put it into storage. I'm exhausted.

Of course, BITCH sees the work I did and gives me the "I told you so," re: the den being the best room in the house. Now, again, let that sink in. BITCH has the entire house, It HAS to focus on MY den. Fuck It. die already. I keep the room tight, IT has the living room-a shipwreck, the basement-a firetrap, and piles of crap in the upstairs bathroom-which you can't use-It's "hoarders" stuff is packed tight in there, as well as piles of crap in the bedroom. Remember when the cable guy hadda enter its closet, what was Its reaction? "Anything good in there?" It doesn't even know. Fuckin' useless twat. PLEASE die already.

SIX, count 'em, SIX calls from the job. Amazing. They really CANNOT handle a goddamned thing.

And tonmorrow, I havta go to the funeral of one of my former students. SYBIL HAS to focus on MY den, knowing I have this tragedy to attend. KNOWING It has the ENTIRE rest of the house to arrange. But, NO, focus on MY den. Cunt.

Day 1157

;)

made it!!!!!

This a.m. was a big conference, then vip's hitting the unit. Part of my initiation. I passed, the unit did well. Heavy sigh.

Downside? THIS is the kinda stuff Sybil will never grasp. This am I awoke to yet ANOTHER venemous note on the fridge-as if I actually read them? This came after It coming into the bedroom, repeatedly, holding variois items from the fridge asking if I was gonna eat them. Right. Let that sink in. Either I'm Satan by eating what's in the fridge in MY house, thus depriving my son of food. OR, I'm nuts because I DON'T eat what's in the fridge? OR, It asks if I want some of the Chinese takeout It bought. OR Stoney puts notes on all of it telling me NOT to eat it-a week later, it's STILL untouched. Hmmmmm. This from the same people who had a psychotic break because (no joke) I used the wrong towel.

Remember, I hadda earn my stripes this day on the job, yet THOSE people are pissed because of contrived drama. Amazing. Yes, "get a life."

This am, got my miles. Life is good.

Day 1156

change is good...I think

The Pilates instructor was bored, and it showed (sounds like the beginning of a novel doesn't it?). I'm kind'a fed up with tolerating it, so, ditched the class, for today. Usually I double up on non run days, but when the instructor 1)doesn't lead by example-verbalizes instruction rather than do them, and 2)even for Spin, this one claims the bikes won't accomodate their being vertically challenged-this despite another instructor who is even shorter. So, later for that. When the instructor-out loud-wonders "what should we do next," kind'a reveals a lack of professionalism.

Thus, rather than a weak time filler, hit the unit, nail it down, then devote myself to a worthwhile Spin class later. I'm worth it.

Day 1155

BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ok, got back to Toxichouse yesterday. LOCKS!!!!! AND doorknobs AND KEYS!!!!! Nice.  STILL think I make this shit up? We never locked our front door. And best of all, rather than be proactive, Sybil-who has 2 peeps who do handiwork/home repair, never lifted a finger. In fact, sabotaged my EVERY effort. I pray this is killing It. This am got my proof: a venemous note taped to the mirror in the bedroom-I changed my cell #, so It's relegated to venemous notes. Even Stoney asked It why It didn't get Its peeps to do anything. Easier to victimize me.

So, yesterday, locks and keys on all the doors. An hour later, he came by to give me the estimate for the total job. Imagine, he'd already started (the leak was due to flashing, he'd already taken care of that!!!!! He was concerned about continued damage, so in effect, he'd finished the exterior work!!!!! I wanna marry him!).

He's treating it like his place! I love this kid! HIS idea is to wall off/put a door between the house and the den, hence, mancave. I LOVE this guy!!!!! You could see his eyes light up when we were discussing the possibilities!

And, this am, got my miles! THIS is the perfect season-50 ish degrees, crisp/cool. Ahhhhhhh.

Day 1154

tgim

Never thought I'd experience that, but then again........Thank God It's Monday indeed! Away from Sybil. Away from the Lemonsucker/Stoney. Miserable friggin' teenager. Sucks to live as I do, but the options are few.

Yesterday was a hot mess. Truly. BUT, typically Alley Pond. One of our Ocean to Sound team members didn't show for their leg, Lenny-of all people-tried doing back to back legs, got lost, d.n.f'd. Oh well. The beauty is: no one freaked. This is REAL Alley Pond. Hey, we showed up. AND best of all, Lenny apologized for fucking up. God bless him.

My take on it:  

1)he was always a Strider, he finally joined for real. Since he was qith Quantum, he was still a Strider. His apologizing for going off course, AFTER volunteering to run the second leg (in effect, trying to run a half marathon rather than 6 miles), proves he's truly a Strider.

2)It just doesn't matter. My favorite line from Meatballs. True isn't it? We knew we wouldn't place, and it really didn't matter. We were there. And where was Quantum?????

Of course, I get back to Toxichouse, Sybil messed with my stuff, again. Typical. Great sobriety there.

This am, Pilates then Spin. Felt good. Need rest badly, but where???????

***AND, proof of the "Thank GOD It's Monday" thing, hadda change my cell #, again. And why? Sybil's psycho texts. Amazing, Truly amazing.

Day 1153

Grrrrrrr

Tough to do anything NOT knowing whether you're returning to hell or welcoming arms. What a fucked situation.

But..today...we RUN!!!!! Ocean to Sound! Say what you want about the club, but we take care of business. AND (feather in the club's cap), one of our brother clubs is melting, so we're getting one of their peeps. Remember some time ago I referred to someone who was happily divorced, as in "yes I gave her everything, and it was worth every penny." HE'S one of us now!  Been after him for the longest time. Helluva guy!!!

And again, funny, the Bitch eats too much candy, doesn't rest properly, is awash in debt, and I become more of a villain?

It is what it is.

Day 1152

We'll see

It's trying to get my goat, moving things It thinks I won't notice. again, "how important is it?" Do I wake It up to rage? Of course not. Won't give that much power/waste the calories.

Today, fun. The 1m on Fifth Ave. Be nice to see my peeps.

Manana, the big relay.

Thank God. 2 days away from the twat. Or so I thought.

Series of textx today, venemous/dysfunctional/psychotic. Typical, "order of protection..."  "My lawyer..."   The real deal: 9/20 came and went, It STILL lacks the mountain of $$$ to make the MINIMUM payment on Its credit card. Sucks for It, however, THAT + It consumed a shitload of sugar=psychotic rants. Unfortunately, It turns Stoney against me in the process. THAT'S the part that slays me.

Oh well.

Changed my cell #, again.

Day 1151

ACT as if

I do the gym as an alternate to running/save my knees. One day run, one day crosstrain. But it kills me when the instructor is half hearted. either get on the bus or stay the fuck off it.

It IS nice, though, to have 3 day weekends-though you obviously know I'm never really off.

Manana the 1m, the Sunday the relay.

Day 1150

Thank GOD for running

KNEW things could always get worse...but...

Yesterday, Sybil enters, asks if I wanted any of the Chinese takeout It'd purchased. Hmmmmm. Was it laced? Thereafter, redoes Its closet, impacting on my ability to go to sleep. THEN It goes off. Knowing Its shipwreck status, rather than admit this, has to go off on me bigtime. Remember: Stoney hears all this. S.O.S. "lawyer......you're out of here....."

This am, He has "don't eat" taped to each and every contained of takeout. So, what have we learned? Just like his mother. Two bitches.

THEN, It makes a point of rearranging the condiments in the door of the fridge. Let that sink in. Hasn't taken Stoney to the plastic surgeon, has nothing to show for Its life, but rearranged those condiments. Really good sobriety. Really subscribes to the "how important is it" frame of reference. Bitch.

This am? Got my miles. Nothing else matters.

Day 1149

Dodged a bullet!

Made it through yesterday's storm unscathed. Really got a break! Sometimes things work.

When I got in, our neighbor was in. His son does contracting. I explained the problem, we'll hook up.

As I was speaking with him, Sybil pulls outta the driveway. Stoney runs out seconds later. They were going to the movies. So nice to be included. I know, pay the bills and shut the HELL up.

They get back, It goes on a tear about rearranging condiments in the fridge (no joke). Last time I'd touched ANYTHING therein, it had been days. Sick bitch.

But wait, it gets better! Stoney piles on, telling me my touching the fan in his room isn't needed. I replied "if that's how you thank me for shutting the window during the storm, you're welcome." Asshole.

Wonder who "bad cop" is?????

Now ask yourself, It claims to sponsor people in a 12 step program, one of whose slogans is "how important is it?" i.e. rearranging condiments? Its claim was that it made finding things therein  difficult. What do we have? An acres large walk in?

When Stoney got on his rag about touching his window/fan, It had to bud in: "what price are you willing to pay to pay to have a relationship with your son?" I'd agreed with him, seeking to deflate his search for a fight-exactly what he witnessed his mother doing. Hmmmmmmm. Wonder who "bad cop" is???

But, this am, Pilates and Spin. Again, life is good.

Day 1148

If it's not ONE thing..........

Ok, DID get my miles this am, barely. Headed out, was spritzing. No biggie. THEN, after 1m, BOOM. Shit. Ok, turn back or......pressed on, it WAS a passing shower. By this time I was soaked. Figured, wtf, turned back...then...THEN it stopped. JEEEEEEZ. A true test of your mettle. Pressed on further, again, BOOM. Fuck it, get the miles.

There's always the sauna @ the gym to dry off. Got my miles, did ok.

THAT was the good news.

Come to Toxichouse yesterday, broken glass all over the walk leading to the front steps. It had dropped a bottle of Its ever present Snapple. I'm tellin' ya, NOTHING about this bitch is user-friendly. Not only can It NOT use plastic bottles, but you'd think a normal person would've cleaned up the glass? Nope. Bitch IS useless.

Wonder why I need to run?

But wait, it gets better!!!!! Hadda look up, saw the roof of the den. The roof of the entire property had been redone 8 years ago. The den is in need of repair. FUCK me.

But, today I ran. Life is good.

Day 1147

close, soooooo close

Almost back on the beam. This am, Pilates, then Spin. Good. Knees are KILLING me, but not as much as my head.

Did what I hadda do to find my stuff-search through Sybil's, what do I find? My Neil Young and Led Zeppelin dvd's. It'd clearly raided my closet. Now, remember, this comes after It leaves a psychotic note re: "leave my stuff alone." What led to THAT? I'd organized the cupboard. Imagine.

And wait, it gets better: remember the chicken It raged @ me about? Not touched by a soul.

Frightening.

And again, has Stoney been taken to the plastic surgeon? Of course not.

But It DOES have an overdue credit card bill-minimum due: $300. Gee, wonder where the rage comes from?????

Day 1146

There'snoplacelikehomethere'snoplacelikehomethankGOD!!!!!

Toxichouse SUCKS.

3am, BITCH can't find the remote, makes it a point to barge into the bedroom to bogart mine. Surreal. Really. THEN has the balls to rage!!!!!

And, wait, it gets better, when I come in from this am's run, a psychotic note awaits me.

Truly not to be believed.

And, did the BITCH ever take Stoney to the plastic surgeon? Of course not.

Useless twat.

Day 1145

Trudging on empty

Ok, couldn't get a room @ the Y yesterday-had gone into Manhattan to (hopefully) play all day, crash, then see Ian Hunter, then race the next day in Central Park. So much for THAT idea. Got to the Y, booked SOLID. So, off to the LIRR, back to Toxichouse (pant pant pant), eat, shower, BACK into NYC. Venue had JUST opened its doors, got my ticket, hung on The Highline for an hour, then back to the Ballroom to claim my spot (standing/general admission). Thank GOD I did. ALMOST bailed, was very frustrated my script wasn't followed-when was the last time I couldn't get a room (then again, i always have a res). Oh well, made it in plenty of time for the concert-though my back and forth from manhattan WAS insane.

No opening act (THANK YOU GOD!!!), Ian SMOKED. My idol from WAY back, and to be mere feet away, wow. Glad I didn't bail.

Back to Toxichouse for a few hours sleep, then BACK to NYC for this am's race. See what I mean? Would be SO much easier to live in the city.

But again, glad I did it this way. Remember Bitch lost it because I had the gall to eat a wilted salad, there'd been ANOTHER one, in the fridge, wilted ('natch), this morning-in the garbage. Amazing. It didn't want it, but obviously was looking for a reason to go off (duh). THEN, the chicken It called me about, STILL there. Sensing a pattern.

BUT, Saw ZZ Wed, Ian last night, and this am, got a way cool free shirt. Remember the race thursday? The $30 water bottle? Some fashion running store was giving coupons to get you in store. An $80 value t shirt? FREE! And guess where the store is: 2 blocks from The Highline. Funny God, real funny.

*Pix below.

Day 1144

NOT what I expected, but not bad

Normally, don't enjoy running after work, let alone a race. BUT, with the concert the previous evening, needed a morning off, and thus-couldn't take an ENTIRE 24 hour rest. When the opportunity presented itself, yes, signed up for an evening race.

Same course as the Valentine's race-103rd n' Riverside. prob was: it wasn't a race by runners. Though hosted by a running store, it was managed by tourists. I.E. Prereg was $30, day of $50. AND, no shirts-water bottles. Not smart.

Anita got lsot-all the volunteers were @ the finish line. Not a well run race, in addition to The Shirts.

For me? I was satisfied. Got some miles, did ok.

Tonight IAN HUNTER.

Manana am, 4m.

Day 1143

Bitch

Hadda have my peep follow me back to Toxichouse-drop off the veeeeehicle as i was doing LIRR to get in after ZZ Top, in the process of driving there BITCH calls asking "where's the chicken?" There HAD been chicken in the freezer-2 weeks ago. 8:15 in the am, TWAT decides to cook. Amazing, truly amazing. So, as I said in the earlier post, I stopped by the store, picked up more chicken, shut the twat's mouth. But THAT wasn't enough. It went on a MAJOR tear, "I don't wanna be married anymore...." so much for taking a vow. Good religion teacher. Like everything else It did in Its life, trying to quit. No deal bitch.

So, ZZ last night, AMAZING!!!!!!!!! See pic below. I was confused-J Geils was @ Westbury-wow, vs. ZZ @ The Beacon. Came down to a coin flip. I made the right choice. 6th FUCKING row!!!!! Wow. Gotta ask my peep how J Geils was. He's a good guy-we'd both gone to see Joan Jett in Brooklyn. He's another who realizes flying solo is where it's at.

So, back to our drama.

After the BITCH went off about chicken (IMAGINE!!!!! I had the balls to eat something that'd been in the fridge, AND didn't tell It. apparently I married Helen Keller!!!), I get in after the concert-Stoney was in a fight. Broke his nose. It hadda take him to the ER, then today, Plastic Surgeon. Heeeee heeeee. Good. AND, when I try getting info, "no one should fight..." Bitch REALLY doesn't get it.

So NOW we, again, see the root of evil-taking responsibility for ANYTHING.

1)Rather than admit It NEVER checks, fly into a rage that I actually consumed something from the fridge.

2)Rather than follow through on committment, try to quit marriage.

3)Rather than embrace the situation and do some parenting, blame me for everything wrong with westerm civilization.

Thank GOD for ZZ Top.

Day 1142

Hmmmmm

Last night, late. Sons of Anarchy back on, 90 mins, fuck!!!!! So, up WAY past my bedtime. But, worth it. GREAT show!

Up 90 minutes after I usually do, no run either. After yesterday, Pilates this am. Fortunately also, the Instructor showed, on time no less! Their supervisor was whip cracking, good. After the other Instructor pulled a no call/no show (AND I REALLY needed that class), it was good to have today proceed as scheduled.

Tonight ZZ Top.

On the road, Sybil calls asking if I ate chicken that was in the fridge. Doesn't quite seem to internalize the nature of an emergency. Now, remember, THIS was the chicken that had been in the freezer, for 2 weeks. Having absolutely ZERO frustration tolerance, and having done not a goddamned thing last night, @ 8:15 this am, It decides to cook! Fortunately I was local, bought some "replacement chicken." Stroll into Toxichouse handing it to It, of course It goes off. "I don't want to be married," "I'm talking to a lawyer..." whatever.

Normal people? Cook in the am. This one, does whatever, whenever. Pedrito's wife hit the nail on the head (nailing a realization I'd had centuries ago), when she said that It never grew up and was never a wife.

Day 1141

..and what have we done?.....

11 years after 9/11, and what have we done? Learned? All I know, people say "hello" more often, hold doors for one another more often. That doesn't suck. AND, we got the motherfucker who masterminded it.

This am, got my miles. Needed it. Was absolutely delightful-started with long sleeves, then topless after 1/3 into it. Barely broke a sweat. Now, again, life is good.

Days like this really make ya take stock. Reaffirmed my conviction: you're born solo, you go out solo. Had a wife, so much for that. Have a son I loved, now, who knows. All I know: I daily do the best I can. If it was to end now, I did it as it needed to be done.

Day 1140

GRRRRRRRR!

Ok, MOST people would take a rest day, but as any good marathoner knows, there ARE no rest days.

TRIED to go to Pilates, instructor late, then half hearted. Talked too much, instructed too little.

Then, off to nail down the job, then back for Spin. Instructor didn't show!!!!! So, did our own thing. Funny part, not ONE participant left!

NOT what I had in mind, but, gotta accept the things....

Day 1139

Close

Bitch comes in yesterday evening, WITH the gym bag, what happened? It recalled what It perceived as my past transgressions, decided to pay me back with vandalism and theft. amazing. Truly amazing. What the FUCK It stood to gain from stealing, I haven't a clue, especially when It was the obvious perp.

And you STILL wonder why my pace sucks? Just putting one foot in front of the other is a major accomplishment. No support, every move to sabotage my efforts attempted. Amazing.

But wait, it got better! When Bitch finally strolled in, It couldn't admit It had a psychotic break, went on ANOTHER tear, about eating "my food." ????? There was a takeout tray with WILTED salad, I ate it. Imagine????? Aren't I a bastard? Actually eating something that was in the fridge. Call the lawyer!!!

So, today the Bronx 10m, what used to be the 1/2. Good. 3 less miles, good. Actually found a parking spot, on the street no less! Remember, I last attempted this run years ago, and d.n.s'd because I couldn't find parking. THIS time, new course, AND, if all else failed, parking @ The Stadium.

So, I sucked, but I finished. Really found it hard to NOT take walk breaks. BUT, I got my 4/5 for The Half, got my medal, THEN left the truck parked, headed into Manhattan to catch a (godawful, but hey, I tried) flick, then back to Toxichouse. Snaggletooth and ITS groupie on the porch inventorizing everyone-as IT never leaves ITS 4 walls.

A very good day, tough, but fun. Saw my peeps-Renegades, Big Bird, Sal.....really fun. Then.....back to Where The Hurt Is.

Pix below.