Achilles Run, "Stay thirsty my friend."

Saturday, July 29, 2017


So, one of my Make Believe Friends asks if I'm interested in seeing Queen. Thought about it, why not. Tix were cheap, nosebleeds, but cheap. A week after Iron Maiden no less. So, ok.

We hang for a bit, had some catching up. Go to our seats, WAY the fuck up, corner. Lo and behold, an usher comes behind us, upgrading the people. I turn around and say "hey, we won't say no." Lo and behold, 10th row, side stage!!!!!! NIIIIIIICE. See pix.

Had a blast! Turns out a couple of our peeps were there as well. We were VERY fortunate to have gotten the upgrade.

But WAIT, it got better!

I'm heading home, who do I see?????

STONEY! (this was after midnight), WITH HIS JUNKIE FELON FRIEND.


Hadn't gone to a meeting in weeks, no outpatient. When pressed, "I needed someone to talk to." Right.

Told him he needs to

1)attend outpatient, receipt of co-pay on the fridge.
2)attend na/aa/za, whatever, have a signature attesting to attendance.
3)launder the bags of shit in his room
4)pay rent, on time. 8:01=homeless.

I'm done.

Turning out just like his useless mother.

(meanwhile, remember Cathy calling to ask if it was ok to.....and my answer: make it contingent on his attending outpatient/aa? what did THAT twat do? Took him shopping and SUGGESTED. Another useless twat).

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Home Stretch

June 20, Cunt kills itself, thereby relieving earth of Its presence.

June 24, Father's Day.

July 8, wedding anniv.

July 13, Stoney's Birthday.

And here we are.

Stupid humid, no a/c. Why? Did Cunt ever contribute? Did Stoney ever lift a finger? Now, he lies in a filthy room, bags of dirty laundry, barely able to keep an hourly job-after losing three others. Just     like     mommy.

Went to do his laundry yesterday, I come upon him as I went to pick mine up. He's standing outside, smoking a cig. Someone stole his laundry. Wouldn't have happened if he'd stayed with his laundry, if he'd put in the footwork. Just     like     mommy.

Spoke with Aunt Cathy. She was aware of some of his shit, but agrees, this ain't gonna end well. He's not going to meeting, not going to outpatient, hasn't changed his behavior.

Happy birthday.

Bottom line, the troublesome part of the year is almost passed.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

You don't know

pain until you'v been to your wife's funeral, and everyone there is convinced to were Bad Cop, and half think you killed the Cunt.

pain until you parented your son, alone, with a Cunt reversing every parenting decision you attempted to enforce.

pain until you drop your son ff at the e.r., and leave him there with instructions. Not cold hearted, but "detached," following years of bullshit.

pain until you know he's homeless for a week, as a direct consequence of his substance abuse. Not allowed to reenter the home for a week, after seeing him ride off on his bike with sandwiches you made and a bag of (dirty) clothes.

pain until you have all this happen within 24 hours of Father's day.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017


Father's Day. Two days prior, an i.o.u. for rent. Ok, at least its on his mind. On Father's Day, nothing. I come home, a terrific card and cologne. He comes in from work, of course I thank him. I was genuinely touched.

1:41 this am, the 3 year anniversary of Cunt's death, I go downstairs to piss. He's up, having come in from working the night. I see he has a can, of 14 ounce Natty Lite.

I tell him he has until 6 am to be gone. That he has a week to get his shit tight or never return. I tell him he's lucky-that I'm sure he hadn't been to a meeting (he hadn't in 3 days) didn't have a sponsor (didn't) not attend outpatient in over a week. When he tried the "at least I'm not doing heroin" bullshit, I tell him he's back with open arms if he gets ANYONE from his counselor to a 12 step member, to write a note saying beer's ok, ESPECIALLY when he remembers the rules of his life in my house post-rehab.

He's thus, homeless for a week.

Wonder if he remembers the meaning of today's date.

I write this on a computer in the library. Guess who's a few computers away.


Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Here we are

Quite a day.

Wanted to fulfill my volunteer commitment for The Marathon. So, did the kids global running day thing @ Icahn Stadium. Football Dad and I.

What a day. Took me back to when I started on Ward's Island, all the drama surrounding our engagement and my unemployment. All the shit I went through to get my foot in the door, doing the nyrr run there w/brotherfromanothermother, the concert there w/All American Rejects. Wow. Really time in a bottle. Barely felt like any effort.

Get back to my phone, college peep contacted me for some info.

Today really spanned the various decades of my life.

And here we are.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

So It Goes

Memorial day came and went. Official start to summer. Did the Long Beach run, 5k rather than 10m, hey, my knees hurt. And last time I did the 10m, I hadn't been on my feet for 8 hours daily. Was just happy to actually do a 5k without walk breaks.

Stoney'd being good. Don't have to worry-too much-when I come home. He still lacks any awareness re: boundaries, but no drugs.

Amazing how all I said turned out to be true. Remember my point about Bitch making a point to trek thru the den to put Hulk out? Now, side door. Closer. No shit.

So glad the cunt is gone.

The hard part: parenting Stoney. But, without the Bitch undermining everything, at least some material sinks in.

Thank God for my make believe friends. It hasn't been easy, but a shit ton easier than when that cunt was alive.

Friday, May 19, 2017

One More Month

6/18 we'll revisit Stoney's status.

This am was supposed to be sink or swim. As in: 8am, mattress on the sidewalk, or, so far so good. Well, he's still under my roof.

Sat him down @ the table and evaluated his status. The problem is: he actually hasn't internalized the nature of his transgressions. it came to this: yes, drug free. No, rent. Yet, he has $350, blew every cent, and then some (just     like    mommy). I asked hiom: "how many of your friends would've survived throwing a hammer @ their father???? " (this came after he stated his perception that he hadn't really done anything that heinous.).

I reminded him:

you allowed my home to be the locus for needle party.

you allowed a stranger to live in my living room.

that same stranger facilitated your addiction.

you have zero fucking rights in my house.

four weeks, no rent.


No change, no domicile after 6/18.