day 888

:)!!!

What a night! Hooked up with my college peep, hasn't skipped a beat. Helluva guy. The type you're proud to be associated with. AND, helluva concert as well. Gov't Mule!!!! Whipped out some Pink Floyd, just because they could, closed with Dear Mr Fantasy with David Hidalgo from Los Lobos!!!

What a night!

He's a History Teacher @ Cardinal Hayes. In danger of losing his house. He pulls in the high 40's, but an 11 year old and 2 older daughters (in conjunction with a wife who can't work) and the best case is he'll refi. Ouch.

Yet we BOTH have cherished memories of those years together! We really grew. Glad we reconnected.

The odd part is, such is the case with Elementary School, High School, and the students I taught. Nice to have bonded on so many levels!

Tonight, midnight run. My yearly 'ting. :)

day 887

It's HERE!!!

The big day. As if seeing Gov't Mule wasn't cool enough, seeing it with BAKEOFF!!!!! Amazing that we're both still alive, let alone professionals and healthy! God bless our parents.

...speaking of which: last evening, Stoney out with his peeps, Bitch out with Its friends. Ahhhhh, lovely family we have ain't it? And you wonder how I press on? I tried everything you can think of (remember last year's Christmas debacle with the X-Box Kinnect? TRIED to do something to bring everyone together. Was told to return it. STILL hurts. And whenever I tried anything, it was met with shit. So, fuck 'em.) Just give $$$ and S.T.F.U. I understand my role.

So, after freezing various body parts yesterday morning, this am? 41 degs. YES!!!!! Sweatshirt and shorts. How great was THAT? To top it off, New Year's eve is predicted to be about 40. Thanks God!

day 886

sooooooooooooo close!!!

Got confirmation about tomorrow night. Me n' a college peep reuniting after 20+ years. Wow. Both of us alive and very well. Both of us professionals. We done good! AND, a concert to boot!!!!!

This am, COLD!!!!! But, gotta lace 'em up! Can't be a wuss. Was sub freezing, but long as you were moving, did ok.

Got my miles, New Years locked, gold baby!!!

THIS is what peeps are all about, and thank GOD for Facebook! Shebitch is going out with Its groupies, leaving me in the dust. No problem, I'll be with people with whom I have a history. People who've actually done something with their lives. I truly can say it's been quite a journey, so far ;).

day 885

so far, so good!

Keeping one eye on the weekend, trying to NOT end this year on a down note. Though DID just get Stoney's progress report. Not good. And he wants to attend college? Best of all: English marks suck, and he's late too often for first period. Sound like a stoner to YOU???

BUT, this am, I ran. Yesssssss. Last night, was POURING. But, the rains ended by 1am. Thank you GOD! Got my miles, now I'm gold.

Shebitch up, literally, all night. Cooking. Why? Its friends coming in for the holidays. Yes it sucks. Us? Nothing. Friends, everything. Remember: these are the same people suckered into believing I'm Dr.Evil. Yet, cook for them, while we have nothing. Amazing. I ran today, I'm ok. No joke, up ALL night (Stoney too!!!). Can you imagine? Up all night, sleep all day. Yet I'm whacked????

day 884

homeostasis

Thank GOD Pret texted me yesterday. Was feeling absolutely awful. After a shit Christmas, was feeling really low. That, and the underlying anxiety over the job, not good. BUT, worst case: it's another day after all-only an arbitrarily assigned set of hours.

So, with rain predicted this pm into tonight, running will be my companion throughout. Thank you GOD. The weather won't interrupt my pursuit of sanity (note: "pursuit," not "maintenance.")

Doing ok.

...still... Stoney treating me like a villain really stings. He'll never understand I foresook personal happiness to assure he didn't grow up in a broken home (and Angela feels the need to lecture ME about committment???). People will never understand.

But you do. Thanks.

day 883

Humbug!!!

So, ok. Got my miles in yesterday, get texted by Stoney asking when I was coming home-they awaited me to open gifts.

THAT went well, Shebitch discovered either we're related and living under the same roof, or someTHING bitch slapped some sense into It. Either way, there were gifts. Of course, nothing for It. I bought the tree, using last year's logic. The kicker, It didn't even remember!!!!! I reminded It that everyone got Ipods last year, and I got a tin of dollar store cookies. STILL smarting from that one (AND, I bought It the BROOOCE box set!).

So, we made it through ok, to Uncle Pete's-in seperate cars-It was going to tend for a sick groupie after.

Uncle Pete's went well...until...It HADDA have a psychotic break. I threw a ball of wrapping paper at It as a goof, It flipped. THAT was only the beginning. THEN, It went on a tear about my gluing shit down (stuff It insisted on moving). People there indicated I must be mental-without asking about the precipitating factors. THEN, Stoney goes on a tear-in a FOUL mood when I stated "as soon as I get ink for the printing press," when discussion came around to his going to college. Bitch REALLY hasn't a clue. It doesn't internalize that I currently pay everything, haven't had a raise in years. Really. WhattheFUCK can It be thinking???????????? And, as a result, Stoney gets raggy, saying I didn't have to get sarcastic. WTF??? Fuck me. Ho ho ho.

But, this am, got my run in. 41 degs, sweatshirt and shorts. NIIICE.

day 882

"And so this is Christmas, and what have we done?"

3am, Shebitch, again, trips the circuit breaker. I live in hell. Ho ho ho.

Thank GOD it isn't raining. Lace 'em up, hit the path, get my miles. After that, I'm gold.

Enjoy your day people. Be glad you're not me, today'll be rough, but I know you're with me.

day 881

"I live in the city, I breath dirty air! I ride trains with B boys, junkies, queens and squares!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone's an asshole, everyone's a creep. I look out my window, there's GARBAGE IN THE STREETS!!!!! New York New York!!!!!!" (God, I love NY!!!!)

Helluva day!

Hit Alley Pond for my miles, made it. Ran into Pret and the peeps. Got a Christmas gift I hadn't planned on-made my year! Love is good!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to Toxichouse, It's raging-blew a fuse, hadda (again) reset my clock. It goes into a rage-can't admit It fucked up again. Now, again, understand: I hadda reset the clock, yet It rages. Happy Christmas Eve motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!

day 880

whew!!!!!

Christmas party a rousing success. The patients were their usual selves: magnificent. They really have the spirit. There's something heartwarming about shared desperation. Everyone had fun, not a negative word was heard, no misbehavior. Which means this weekend'll probably be hell.

This am, rain. Good. No run. (of course NOW the sun is peeking out).

Needed the rest, you really shoot your load with the party. TONS of work, but worth every calorie.

ho ho

day 879

yin/yang

there IS a balance to everything!!!

This am, 55 degs!!! Holy SHIT! Needed it.

Yesterday, Stoney texts me, asking me to bring home Subway. Normally, no biggie, BUT, after getting stuck for the Christmas tree........Shebitch NOT contributing in any way, shape, or form...But, ok. I said I would.

I get home, tv on, heater (electric) on, house empty. WTF???? Was sorely tempted to feed the sub to Hulk, but I wrapped it thinking, "Fuck him, I'll eat it."

Texted him, he was out with useless Bitch buying computer shit. Again, let that sink in. No food, poor fuck hasta text me asking for sustenance, but the Bitch is out buying him computer shit. THEN, spends the night, again, elsewhere. (yet, taught religion in the pm. Teach the crap, yet abandon your son and spouse).

So, where's the yin? The Yang?

A)I ran this am, thanks God.

B)Re: Kris Kringle. I didn't get shit for the past 2 days (you're supposed to get 2 small gifts, then one big). Turns out, I got the person who had me!!!!! And we BOTH made out!

Ok, God, you exist.

Tonight, the patients' Christmas party. ALWAYS a wonderful thing. When things suck, do for others. Can't go wrong ;) .

day 878

jeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!!

Ok, so yesterday after work SUCKED. Stoney jerking his mother's chain, meanwhile perfectly fine playing x-box.

Waited for Shebitch to come back to Toxichouse. It finally waltzes in, Stoney doesn't even wanna get off his ass to get The Tree.

So, headed to Lowe's, sold out (no shit), then off to the local "guy." Success. Of course, when he asks for $$$, It backs off. Again, I get fucked. $55 later, we have a tree. First Bank of Dad strikes again!

And for all this, not an iota of respect, nor thanks. And yes, It wanted to put all the crap It had in the den. Seems to be a focal point for crap. Not on my watch.

But, this am, ran. :) Shorts and sweatshirt.

God is good.

SHIT!!!!!

ok. Trusted Stoney on his own this am. Yes, Shebitch is still spending nioghts elsewhere, caring fopr wrinkled people (GREAT family dynamic we have).

So, trusted that, @ 16, he'd get to school without me-his training wheels/probation officer.

So, Shebitch was in mid-rage yesterday, raging about how It was gonna fuck with my stuff. I knew It'd be out 'til 4:30, so hit Toxichouse @ 2:30. Who's home??? Stoney!!!!!

He had "diarrhea." Called Shebitch to say he was staying home.

FUCK ME. You KNOW if I'd been here, that wouldn't have happened.

FUCK ME!!!!!

I can't do everything. Hadda be on the job, also, after the twat raging that I do nothing, about other things, I hadda detach.

That's what I got for detaching. Lil fucker ditched school.

FUCK!!!!!

***And, didn't get my Kris Kringle gift.

day 877

bitch (ho ho ho)

So, we were supposed to get the Christmas tree yesterday. So much for THAT idea. It's tending for the wrinkled people-again-instead of a REAL job. So it was delayed until today, supposedly so It could clear the pile of shit where the tree will reside. Of course, the pile of shit was never moved yesterday, instead, It blew into the house, raged, screamed @ me for clearing the basement, raged @ me for not recognizing Stoney when he was a baby in the pool 14 years ago in Montauk (yep, it's true, great memory eh? AND, notice, I was actually in the pool-It was on the side. Typical. DO nothing, critique those who do. And, why didn't I recognize him? It was his first time in the pool. Again, let that sink in. The other day It raged about my inability to let things go, hmmmmmm. Sunk in yet?????).

So, this am, 47 degs!!!! Yummmmmmmm. Sweatshirt and shorts. On 12/20!!!!!

AND, practiced Christmas with the patients. :)

day 876

Mr.Mom, again.

This is getting ridiculous. It all started with delaying adolescence for as long as possible, then, making it an adult preoccupation. Yes, I'm talking about Shebitch. Waitressing, using every excuse to keep waitressing, then holding one bogus gig after another (Real Estate, Avon...), now, caring for an elderly couple. Necessitating being out of the house for days on end. Not even thinking of the effect on the family dynamic. Totally fucking everything up. "Now you see It, now you don't" parenting. No wonder Stoney smokes.

BUT, this am, I ran. FREEEEEEZING, but I ran, goddamnit!

Still no Christmas tree (guess whose responsibility that is?), still no heat (ditto). This sucks.

day 875

hey, I tried

Went to Deb's Christmas party...for a minute. Was almost like: I went in the front, left through the back. I think I spent all of 10 minutes. I'm kind'a famous for that. Really not big on small talk. Saw her, wished her a happy, then split.

Home? Stoney admitted smoking. Shebitch out for 3 days, amazing. I truly feel as though the world's on my shoulders.

But, I ran. FREEEEEEZING this am, had the club elections, so hadda do the early run. Ran unopposed-so voted against me would'a really sucked. Now I'm prez, brotherfromanothermother vp. Nice.

***One of the renegades, my rasta brotherfromanothermother, and I had one of those shared bro moments. He thought he was the only one who couldn't handle a treadmill. I, of course, told him that was the sign of a real runner. My man!!!

day 874

Yesterday was a dream until.......

(true, you CAN'T go home again!!!)

The video shoot was a howl! Still pix then video. My role: had the choice of either teacher or doctor. Of course I chose teacher, and of course, hadda be coached re: use of hands (guitar players are like fish outta water without an instrument). No problem w/comfort in front of the cameras, did well. I'll know the result by Monday.

Then, went to see Cook County. In a word: WOW. About meth. Not one good thing about it.

Then, hit Goodwill for hidden treasures, always find something cool.

Unfortunately, then, home. Stoney and 3 peeps sitting on the couch, room REEKED of pot. SHIT. And of course, Shebitch is useless in these matters, pretty much giving him carte blanche thinking if it's the worst he does......Bitch don't realize it starts with pot and.........

And, of course, it did a drive by. This fri-sun m.i.a. weekends are getting to be a drag. Bitch tends for some old people, ok, we all gotta work, but if you remember, first it was waitressing to all the freedom to tend to our son-then another bullshit story-then another.....Any excuse not to grow up and get a real job. it blows in, creates a storm, then blows out. I'm tempted to ask him if he's got any smoke left.

So, what to do? Can't ground him, he barely gets off the couch as it is. And you KNOW It will buy him whatever he wants. So, other than lunch $$$, he's cut off. At least I know my $$$ won't contribute to his delinquency.

Tonight Deb's Christmas party. My oldest friend.

day 873

amazing, truly amazing.

Last night shebitch goes off BIG TIME. I had the gall to eat some chicken that was in the fridge. Call the lawyers! Of course, THAT was the smokescreen for Its excuse. It was spending yet ANOTHER night away, cooking for a sick groupie. Now, again, let that sink in. We have no heat, an empty fridge, but It goes to cook for others...after RAGING that someone living under the same roof ate something from the fridge. Mental?

So, this am, God again took care of bidness. Hadda get up as a ridiculous hour to get my run in and shower-SOMEONE has to be a parent around here. Amazingly pathetic that the Bitch cares more for outsiders than her own son, let alone me (I was glad for a peaceful house). Stopped to get Stoney hot breakfast, and here I sit. Hey, got my miles in (@ 4 in the fucking morning!!!!!!!!!!).

This am, a video shoot. Me, a model!!!!!! Amazing. Truly amazing.

Yin/Yang.

day 872

:)

Today's my Friday, nice.

The bad news? Would be nice to actually have a week off. But then again, knowing what I live with, ain't gonna happen.

Yet another unbeatable am. 48 degs!!!!! Shorts and a t-shirt 10 days before Christmas!!! Nice.

Got my miles, practiced Christmas songs with the kiddies, ordered the food, bought the decorations.

Now, photo shoot manana, big Christmas run Saturday, club elections Sunday.

nice.

day 871

REEEEEALLY????

Yet ANOTHER Albany phone call, STILL no word on the gig. Jeeeeeeez. It's been SIX MONTHS!!!!!

So, we run. Yay!!!!! BEAUTIFUL morning, 34-36 degs, purrrrrfect. We really havta take it where/when we can.

Meetings this am, meetings this pm. Yecch.

day 870

The big day!

Conference call between 3:30-4pm with Albany. Curious as to the result.

Manana, a conference @ NYC HQ.

Things be buzzin'!

Thank GOD got my run in! 34 degs, got my miles, felt REALLY good!!!

*AND, got into the Empire State Building Run Up!!!!! Things are looking up!

day 869

kind'a likin' this

Right on the cust of frigid, but ok for now. You know it's getting there when you wear gloves for your run, yet STILL are cold. NOT frigid, but cold.

Did ok. Got my miles, got a foothold on the day.

Needed the miles after the 5m sat and the 5k sun.

Too much nonsense on site-staff not appearing for work etc...really, have they no shame??? THEN having the chutzpah to claim they didn't know the call-in protocol. Utter bullshit. If they don't wanna work, give the gig to someone who does.

day 868

that DIDN'T suck

Did a 5k this am. REALLY wanted to see my peeps @ Alley Pond, some were going to do a couples race, but my timidity (stop laughing) always gets the best of me. Yes, kiddies, one can be a cynic and still be timid. Also, broken-hearted. When you can't spend quality time with the one you love, you'd really rather be alone.

So, with the thought that my heart belonged elsewhere, went to a first time race in buttfuck Suffolk county, oops, Bohemia. (exit 57!!!!!). As if that wasn't bad enough, they had no shirts for day of race runners (so you get to pay more, AND no shirt???). I got one, just don't ask how. Surprise, surprise (we ARE everywhere), Bill was there. Normally he does races with good vittles, but this one was good n flat, only a 5k, so he was breaking in a newbie. Lovely to see him. It's always nice to run into a peep!!!

Then, got a call from Shebitch re "where did you put..." It simply can't internalize the need to call in an EMERGENCY. Do I really havta change my number again???

BUT, I bit the bullet. Called back, I DO owe the bitch a birthday dinner (we can't have bad karma can we, after all, it HAS been a month. It made me wait 2 weeks so I figure I'm even). We had a lovely Japanese dinner @ a great, deserted restaurant. I figured all the cretins'd be watching Sunday football. I was right, the place had us, and tumbleweeds.


***New Years flick, very good!

day 867

did my share

Did one of those "you live on Long Island, so you gotta do it (or face deportation) races." The Mulcahy's 5m. Always remember this one as it's the only race i REALLY fucked up in: thought it was a 5k, years ago, and was running the last 2 miles thinking "really fucked up on the course measurement didn't they?"

Didn't TOTALLY suck, but didn't set an y records either. OK, getting older, but still active.

Manana, either AP or Bohemia. We'll see.

day 866

God IS good!!!

Last night, Cheap Trick @ The Paramount (again, my favorite place). Amazing venue, only 1,500 "seats," not a bad spot in the place. I had tix for general admission floor, and balcony. I took the balcony, gave away the floor. Pic below. They were AMAZING!!!!!

AND, the opening band from summer, that WAS to have opened, opened yesterday! As a testament to them, people were asking who they were. Usually the opening band gets "get the fuck out." I was thrilled! AND, they did a Joey song!!!

No run this am, in too late, hit the sheets @ 12:30am. Stoney hit on First Bank of Dad, of course, Shebitch is away for yet another night. @ this point the bathroom reeks! Good.

What a night. SOOO glad my prayers were answered (remember when they had their set cut short, I begged for them to come back to the area. Niiiiiiiice.)

ADD to THAT, made a peep. She was sitting there, asked who the opening band was, that was the icebreaker. Just like running. Turns out, she'd been @ Ray Davies (and a host of other concerts) as well. EXACTLY like running: usual suspects doing "The Circuit."

A great night!!!

day 865

YESSSSSS!!!!!

A quiet evening!!! Shebitch spent the night out. THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Peace prevailed. Funny, with It out, all of a sudden Stoney was semi-social, or at least as social as a teenager gets. Of course he had an agenda-it was POURING and he needed a lift to the gym. I was more than happy to do so. And yes, drove him to school, though I DIDN'T do my usual: stop @ the deli to get him a hot breakfast. He has bagels and english muffins in the fridge. Let him see the dif between Shebitch and I. Also, before leaving, who-again-wreaks Its destruction? Yes, Shebitch clogged the toilet. Good. Let him see who does what.

The downside? Hadda hurry my run. Not a bad thing. Good for my time-turned it into a tempo run. Let's face it: I run for sanity AND health, not for speed. So, hurried my run-though DID get my full mileage, then headed back to drive Stoney.

Tonight, CHEAP TRICK!!!!! GREAT venue-The Paramount, amazing band!

day 864

!!!!!

As amazing as it may seem, actually got my miles in today. Nice!

Rain predicted off and on, enough to drive people into the gym, however, actually had an idea. Knew the local thrift store had a pair of Asics in my size. Hmmm.....sure enough, no one grabbed 'em. AND, better still, there were 2 pair! So, got TWO pair, total damage: $26. Amazing!!!!! So, in effect, had throwaway running shoes. Now, the part that gets me: you can NEVER find Asics that fit in the stores, yet @ the Thrift store it works???? Thanks God!

So, why not take a day off, or hit the gym? You know nothing is the same as running. I was mentally prepped for Boot Camp or Spinning, but alas, chose to run in the rain. It DIDN'T totally suck! Now that the gym's been refurbished, the sauna (thank you GOD!!!) again works, I feel things are back in order.

Again, why did I havta run? Shebitch has actually been civil, so wassup??? Stoney. Turning into a taciturn teen. VERY affectionate toward Shebitch, but, of course, I'm Satan. Sat on the couch, he had 30 Rock on the tube. He got up, changed the channel. Hurts more than I can describe.

Got my miles, got my run in, life is good.

day 863

:) !!!!!!!

Got it!

Started unemployed, asking wife for cig $$$, no one would touch me. Got my foot in the door with NY State. Moved up through the ranks...and...AND... THE BRASS RING!!!!! Got the call yesterday, they're appointing me Director! YESSSSSSS. At long last, they finally gave the devil his due. After paying dues for WAY too many years, eating WAY too much humble pie, I got the dream gig!!! I'm in the club!!!!!

Now, the downside: it IS an appointed position, you could lose your gig @ any time, AND you make a better target. Still, you gotta have the stones to take the reigns. Nice.

Also, says alot for my agency. They obviously have an appetite for cool.

Now, the yang: got home, sat on the couch in the living room, Stoney: "Why you gotta push my buttons." I explained he was putting me in an imposssible position/damned if I did-0damned if I didn't. If i let him isolate, I'm not parenting. If I'm there, he thinks I'm breaking his balls. Homey got issues. AND, worst of all, I literally asked "how come Mommy sits here for hours, and you got no beef with that???" To which he, of course, had no response.

But...today I ran. Life is good.

day 862

back in the saddle, again!

This weekend was really tough. When you're scorned in your own home, that really punches you in the gut. Exacerbating everything, Stoney actually thinks Shebitch is normal. Normal people work bizarre hours? Start cooking @ 10 pm (last night's delight)? Leave their kids alone? I, the other day/during the fight, tried explaining that I make it a point to "be there," yet, he pushes me away. And It gets the hugs and love. REALLY REALLY hurts. But remember, when we need $ I'm convenient.

But this morning, I ran. Back to The Line after yesterday's 5m and Saturday's 5k.

Better.

day 861

WHEW!!!

Made it through the weekend-barely.

Stoney went psycho yesterday, did the "angry teenager with misdirected anger" thing. We ended up verbally duking it out, me="you can't speak to a parent that way, you must have respect," him: "you don't have to call me an asshole or say 'fuck you'." I was literally @ my wits end. And of course, Shebitch didn't help @ all, blaming, among other things, my pulling him outta religion for his behavior. Notice, not doing anything to redirect him, but blaming me. Lovely.

Now, here's the killer. The part that REALLY hurts. It went into the hospital, twice. Who made EVERYTHING right @ home, perfectly clean, all bills paid????? Who does not a goddamned thing, even going so far as to sabotage every effort? Yet, who gets a hug, kiss, and an "I love you" when It abandons the home yet again for 20 + hours????? Amazing. I get totally shit on. Thank GOD I run.

Thank GOD today there was a run in CP. REALLY needed t get away from it all. BUT, REALLY had ZERO motivation. It was a chore, but once I got there, everything fell into place. Met a peep from The Line, another from various races. We spent the day, caught lunch and a movie after.

Thanks God, really needed it. Home sucks.

***Cool pix below!

day 860

back into the fray

Lil ol' 5k esta manana. One of those "if you live on Long Island you gotta do it, or you get deported." The Hot Chocolate 5k. Did ok, nothing to write home about, but something to feed the need.

Great to see my LI peeps, Polansky got a great pic of Anita and I. God bless her. No demands, just a nice person.

Manana, 5m in CP. Be terrific to get back to The City.

day 859

busy, productive, life.

REALLY had a blast yesterday. Was, frankly, dreading heading out to MSG for a weekday show, but...their schedule doesn't revolve around me.

Hadn't planned on going, but when she had a ticket, offered it to me, hadda follow God's plan.

Sho' 'nuff, amazing!!!!!

The Garden is refurbished, nicer lounges etc...much more spectator friendly. More open spaces. We sat in the section I usually dislike, but strangely, didn't seem to suck like it used to. Nice.

Opening band took the stage, on time, split, Seger took the stage @ 8:30. Played a solid 2 hours, BROOOOOCE showed up, played Old Time Rock n' Roll. Wow. And to think I hadn't planned on going. God bless my peeps!!!!!

Even told her, if it hadn't been for her, I'd have split early. REALLY had a blast!!! Great company, AMAZING show, turns out, it was his farewell concert. Wow.

This really IS the year of the "we're still alive years later." Cheap Trick next week. See what I mean?

An amazing way to end the week. You know it was amazing when you wake up still smiling.

Just gotta stay outta God's way.

Wow.

***Got back to Toxichouse, It asks where I was. Now let that sink in. Does It EVER tell me where It's going??? So I responded "out, with my make-believe friends." Really has some balls. "I can do whatever I want, I play by different rules, but YOU owe me an answer." I don't think so.

****** GOD BLESS MY PEEPS!!! This am brotherfromanothermother called to touch base. Peeps last night, peeps this morning. Really feeling the love. When I can be tempted to exist solo, they save me from me. They've no idea how important they are.

day 858

on a roll here!!!!!

Things improving. Gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and progress results.

Was really hurt that my paycheck now lacks $100. This is the result of the contract we hadda settle for. The $ dif is due to increased health care costs. Things Shebitch will never understand. It contributes zero to bills, yet doesn't understand how I can't pay for more-lacking Its contributing as well as less money in my check-not to mention no raise in 3 years despite increased cost of everything. THAT hurt.

BUT, temps are good, sweatshirt and shorts. Crisp, not QUITE cold, yet.

AND, best of all, 2 of the biggest pains in the ass aren't on site. YAY!!!!!!

Running is good.

Tonight, Bob Seger!!!!!!!

day 857

wait for the miracle

HATE bumperstickerspeak, but it's true.

Thanksgiving sucked, but got over it thanks to running. Homefront pitiful, but, gotta keep on keepin' on.

Lo and behold, got a call last night, asking if I wanted to go to Bob Seger. God bless my peeps!

This am, 48 degs, REALLY beautiful. Glad yesterday's rain didn't interfere. Got my miles.

:)

day 856

Alone, but not lonely

Lately, been feeling the effects of not having support. Might be an age thing, but when I see what COULD be, as opposed to what IS, I get down. Then, I run, all gooder!!

It came back to Toxichouse yesterday, the load on my back a bit easier. A bit of ambivalence: Stoney needs his mother. I DON'T need a raving psycho who sabotages EVERYTHING. But, it helped that I didn't havta hit the job, go for my run, then head back home to care for Stoney. He'll NEVER appreciate what I do, until HE becomes a parent. All I know: I do the best I can.

...and today I ran. Life is good!!!

day 855

yin/yang

Thank GOD the Thanksgiving weekend is over. If not for running, dunno what I'd have done.

5 races in 4 days, and every one of them therapeutic.

But...it WAS nice to get back to AP this am. 59 degs, shirt off, shorts. Yummmmm.

Hadda speed it up, Stoney home alone. Bitch out "working," meaning away from the home. Kid left unattended. Jeeeeeez. So, hadda hurry my run (actually good for a tempo run), hurry the hell home to bring him some hot breakfast. THAT I love. What SUCKS is: not a thought of gratitude, It doesn't even tell me It's away. No, I should run a facility as well as do everything on the home front. Bitch. Pure unadulterated bitch.

day 854

no bitch, and all is well.

It hasn't been home since Thanksgiving. YAY!!!!! The downside, a boy SHOULD know/feel the presence of his mother. The one recurring thought is what brotherfromanothermother says, he always thinks his sons fucking up is because of his divorce/lack of a strong male presence @ home. Now, he IS way too nice, but the fact remains: a parent should always be present.

Before the races today, I made sure I got Stoney HOT breakfast, as opposed to the frozed pizza the twat leaves in the freezer. Ahhh...warm family memories of Sundays!!!

Did Rob's Run this am, did ok. On a cross-country run-especially moving single file @ times, hard to get any speed. The race this pm was better. A 5k, which I try to avoid, but 2 in one day-bringing the Thanksgiving weekend to a total of 5-couldn't resist. This pm was in Bellport, same course as the summer, but temps were FAR better, cool, not cold-as opposed to summer when it was so goddamned humid you couldn't breathe.

And thanks to Anita, I got my award for yesterday. FIRST IN MY AGE GROUP!!!!!

day 853

:)

sometimes you DO have to just put one foot in front of the other and keep on keepin' on!

Hooked up with the peeps last night to see the Muppet flick. Eh. 1)Was past my bedtime 2)not MY movie theater. So, not the best of circumstances, but still, important to get out. The movie itself was a disappointment. But the company was great.

Unfortunately, ran over a curb earlier in the day, hadda switch vehicles, couldn't even put together the jack. Left the disabled vehicle parked. Get a tow on Monday.

This am, a cross-country 5k. Hadn't done this one in years, but hadda do the GLIRC 4 or 5 Thanksgiving race series. Didn't TOTALLY suck, but all things ARE relative. GREAT spread, grabbed some grub to go, got a call from a peep, I'd placed first in my age group!!!!! AND, my time was mediocre at best-but-all things ARE relative.

Nice.

day 852

2 down 2 to go

Did the Thanksgiving thing. didn't suck. of course, Shebitch hadda TRY, but shut it down asap. What I don't get: sis in law never worked a day in her life, yet can't make dinner? Instead, my bro pays for a restaurant. last year, remember, I kicked in. This year, nope. Why? I covered the cost of Shebitch, Stoney, and myself. But, didn't say who kicked in-gave it to the waitress. People around the table-chief among them Shebitch "oh, no WAY it was YOU." So, fuck 'em, ate for free.

This am, did the 4k "run your turkey off" race. Always fun.

Tonight, connect with the peeps. Past my bedtime, but, be nice to see how the rest of the world lives.

day 851

not too shabby!!!!

Did ok @ the Huntington race. THAT is the location for many memories, from the graduate school days to Ocean to Sound.

THE HILL wasn't THAT bad, never easy, but didn't havta walk it.

Now, if only I can make it through dinner with people who hate me, I'll be ok.

day 850

betrayed!

REALLY needed to run this am, but alas, can't control the weather. And no, the gym doesn't cut it. Betrayed by that which I rely upon. Shit.

Last night, Shebitch in rare form. Again, all was well until It went off, big time. What a fucking nut job. "Why do you have to have that beard..." and that was the sane part. "All my friends think..." they haven't even seen my beard. AND, the icing on the cake, rewind the tape to bumping into Irene n' Joel @ Ray Davies. We got along perfectly. Fucking nut job.

It hadda fuck with my things, again. Missing items, etc...and all because I had the GALL to dry dishes and place them in the closet. Imagine!!!!!

It would be SO nice to just come home. No drama, no missing items, no yelling. Just plain come home. Feel safe and welcome after working hard all day.

Total pure unadulterated bitch.

It hurts, it really hurts.

day 849

the glass IS half full!!!

With all this bullshit about off and on/passing showers, it was tough to wrap my head around running or not. I DO try to stay flexible but also DO like knowing plans are set.

So, when I got up, it was ok! Misty, but ok!!! YESSSSSSS!!!

After taking yesterday off, really didn't want/need consecutive rest/recovery days.

Thanks God!!!!!!

None of the usual suspects, had the place to myself, but finally, on the way back, one single Dim Sum peep caught up with me, each pushed the other. When we split, we both laughed. Each knew the other was being a guy, pushing harder, a shade over our usual pace. Nice.

Toxichouse? In a word: Toxic. Stoney magically has the new Call to Duty. Remember, no First Bank of Dad, no lunch, BUT, he has the new video game. It comes in, in a relatively good mood. It leaves, goes out, comes back in a dark manic rage (I'd made the critical error of actually-gasp-putting away dishes. Can you believe it???). So, I took the dishes from their place, put them back on the counter, and continued living life. Bitch, pure bitch.

Thank GOD for running.

day 848

another rainy day in New York City

Woke up, fully intending to get some miles, but alas, it was raining. Got to the job, raining. Headed out to pick up the papers, a break in the showers. Left the store, more rain. Ok God, I can take a hint. A rest day certainly wouldn't hurt the body, but the mind needs to run.

Gotta hit the funeral this am. Really think of them as a total waste of time, but you owe it to your peeps, a matter of respect.

And Shebitch? Came home last night. Of course, disavowed any responsibility for being m.i.a., rather, throwing it back in my lap "if you picked up your phone....." totally evading the issue of my having to change my number because It left psychotic rants.

Think I needed to run????

***AND, from the "cruel joke" department: NOW it's clearing. FUCK!!!!!!!

day 847

sucked, but not as bad as it COULD'VE been.

4m in Central Park, had nothin', I mean NUTTIN'. Dead legs. The downside of a crab free diet. Actually hadda take 2 breaks, but a more perfect morning couldn't have been planned. 55 degs, sun, beautiful. And, hooked up with brotherfromanothermother. THAT was the good news. The OTHER news, Chelly bumped into us near baggage check, asked if we heard about DP's dad. Ouch, THAT sucked. Was GREAT to run into Chelly, but poor DP. Shot her a post, no answer yet.

Really puts my shit into perspective. Was feeling really low. Second Director interview, not feeling good about how the agency is jerking us off. used to be you paid your dues, you got the gig. Something dif is now in the air. Especially stings because I always knew the emperor was naked, i.e. everyone things our retired Director was great, what they didn't see was I did all the work. Well, we'll see.

Also, Shebitch calls me yesterday asking if I could take Stoney to a party. HOWTHEFUCK did It get my number. AND, Stoney didn't even wanna go!!!!!! THEN, the twat doesn't even come home last night. FUCK ME!!!!!

And Elik wonders why I couldn't go with him to Bucks Co. He doesn't understand I gotta stay local if anything arises for Stoney.

And you wonder why I took 2 walk breaks? For a shit 4m? Really hurts sometimes. I see Sue and Vince, how they support each other. I KNOW how rich my life could be, there are women I could hang with in an instant, but I'm stuck. Hurts. Really hurts.

It is what it is.

And Stoney just thinks I have a "need to be right," he just doesn't understand. AND, I'm not the cunt his mom is, I won't rip her in his presence.

God bless my friends, they have no idea how important they are.

Hope D is ok.

day 846

good weekend!

No rain, nippy this am, but still shorts (with long sleeves and gloves).

St.Francis, @ 7am. Saw the usual suspects, who chided me: "you're late." Wonderful peeps!!!!! Funny how we were all in sync. Run predawn during the week, 2 hours later weekends. :)

Tomorrow, NYRR Central park. Nice to be back there.

day 845

the streak lives!!!!!

Got my miles in this am, chilly, but not cold. Did ok with shorts, sweater (yes, a sweater) over a t-shirt and gloves + knit hat. Was 37 degs. Crisp, very nice. LOVE this weather. Won't last long we know.

Considering the odd "now you see it, now you don't" passing showers, actually surprised myself that not one day was a rest day. Nice.

Considering the drama on the job, needed every mile.

day 844

God is good


Went to The Paramount to see Ray Davies. This would be the second concert this week, the second weeknight concert, the third concert featuring "30 years later people." A month ago, Joe Walsh @ Westbury, then Todd @ Westbury. Ray last year @ Westbury as well, but FIRST saw The Kinks @ St.John's in 1980. Wow!!!!!

So, first, The Paramount. Used to be The Imac in Huntington. They totally, I mean TOTALLY revamped it. WOW!!!!! I was in the left loge, 201. In the old Ritz, this would'a been the left balcony VIP area. Wow. Not 30 yards from the stage. QUITE the venue. Amazingly user friendly, VERY open, LOUD/yet crystal clear. Seats were chairts, so leg room was not an issue. Though, amazingly, didn't sit for a second. WOW!!!!!

So, there I am, standing, boogying, who do I literally bump into? Joel and Irene, a.k.a, former friends Shebitch turned against me (they'd ask Iwrite a letter standing up for his character when he got busted for DWI. When I said I couldn't, that getting busted for DWI = need for rehab, they hadn't spoken to me since. This went as far as their coming to my place for the annual summer party, and not saying a consonant to me).

So, how'd it go? NO PROBLEM. We hung, reconnected, had a blast! Do the math, no Shebitch = no problem.

The concert? Amazing. Opening band went on @ 7:50, thank God. THEY were Ray's backing band, since he and Dave are still not touring.

God bless Ray Davies!!!!!

This am? Didn't expect any miles but lo and behold, rain stopped!!!!!!!!! Thanks God. Don't think for a second I don't appreciate it!

***And, adding to The Aura, yesterday I was involved in an intervention. Where? 76th and 35th ave. God I LOVE Queens!!!!!

day 843

:)

Squeaked THAT one in!!!!!

Really didn't think I'd get any miles in this am, happily WRONG!!!!!

When I got up, nothing. While on the pc, the skies opened up. Then, misting on the way to the job, then rain. Shit!!!! Yet, the news stated "off and on showers," so.....

Got to the job, it'd stopped, pretty much. Laced 'em up, made it!!!!! My Dim Sum peeps took the day off, my Before Picture was there, my walkers were there. Fully expected to get soaked after the turn around, but no. A VERY good morning!!!!!

And...tonight...Ray Davies! Gotta love it!

day 842

squeeeeeeezed it in!!!!!

Got my run in! Surprised I did actually. Rain HAD been predicted, I was tired from being up later than usual (hadda catch up on Boardwalk Empire), so I was draggin'. BUT, still was up before the alarm, and up n' at 'em!

Might not have these conditions for much longer, so gotta jump on it while 'ya can. T shirt and shorts, barely broke a sweat. NIIIIICE!

Big day today, interview #2 for the Director's position. This is getting silly. BEEN acting as boss 1/2 of the time since I started here, BEEN Acting Director for 6 months. Beyond absurd, but hey, you gotta try.

Got my miles in, nothing else matters.

day 841

sometimes you get away with it!!!

REALLY don't like going out on a Sunday. Means your ass is draggin' Monday 'cause you were up too late the night before...but...BUT...sometimes you gotta break the rules!

It was Shebitch's birthday, It was bogarting Stoney for the evening and leaving me in the dust...so...TODD to the rescue! Another reason you know there has to be a God: Utopia concert...AT Westbury/around the corner!!!!! Went to the box office, got an aisle seat, was all set.

Todd comes out on time, in a spacey outfit-matching the rest of the band, but, being Todd, his was spacIER.

The sound? Loud, but perfect. My seat? GREAT. He didn't do one friggin' song I knew-except Heavy Metal Kids (and Do Ya? How's THAT for one outta left field?), but he BLEW ME AWAY. Been a long time!!!!! Of course i was early, sat in the parking lot, was tempted to leave. Then, when the show started, again, was tempted to stay for a bit, then head home...but I was entranced. He is AMAZING. And funny!

Last saw him in '79 in Central Park. He hasn't missed a beat, either in his ability or humor. If you closed your eyes, at times, you could've sworn it was Zappa. The guy's a virtuoso!!!!

And..... saying "I know alot of you gotta go home and see the serial killer (Dexter," he came out for the encore, saying that in order to spare us the bullshit of elaving the stage for a minute-only to return for the inevitable encore.

What a fucking guy!!!!! AND, Kasim hasn't changed an iota. He, as well as the rest of the band, showed their enthusiasm. They LOVE playing.

This continues the inevitable "30 years later world tour" comment. Earlier this year, it was Cheap Trick, then Neil, then Todd, next: Cheap Trick again. Yay!!!!!

So, was actually home by 10. Wow!!!!!!!

Was up on time this am, laced 'em up, and got my miles in. Life is good. :)

Thanks Todd!!!

day 840

almost there!!!

Did the Prostate 5k, why? It's on the Town of Oyster Bay golf course. Really didn't wanna, but 5k on hills = 10k on rolling hills, so, got my AP miles in. Plus, got to reconnect with my Long Island peeps. Bad pic of Curtis Sliwa below, he was the talking head as a Prostate Cancer survivor. Also, this was the big comeback after The Big One, the peeps asking wtf? What happened as my time never registered. Ask Shitdick/Hank. NEVER dare me.

Also, recouped my investment: among the swag was Cliff's version of powergel, got enough to last the year.

Tonight: Todd Rundgren's Utopia-YAY!!!!!

day 839

NOW we're talkin'!

Again, killer running temps-39 degs when I went out. Shorts, long sleeves, gloves. Didn't even break a sweat. LOVE these temps.

And now, all is in place. My Dim Sum peeps apparently were smart, did NY (one of 'em was wearing the shirt), so I didn't see 'em until today. Cool. Great to have all the usual suspects back.

***And yet another peep I neglected to mention from The Big One: Len!!!!! Was GREAT to see him with the Striders peeps @ 14 ish.

Good to be back!!!!!

day 838

THAT hurt!

Stoney gets dressed, heads out the door. Me: "where you off to?" Him: "Out." WTF???? Turns out Shebitch told him to say that. Nice. Lets fuck the kid up, teach him disrespect. No prob, fuck the bitch. Sunday's Its birthday, I got Todd Rundgren tix, for me. Fuck the twat.

Earlier in the day, Cheap Trick tix, again, WTF??????? Is this the "we're still around after 30 years" cycle? Really psyched on both counts. Never saw Utopia, Cheap Trick-ALWAYS leaves me thrilled and happy.

St.Francis this am. The same outfit I wore for The Big One. Felt good.

day 837

good to be back!

Had been tempted to do a spin class, or boot camp...but..rest is rest. This am was the first day back, and it felt great! Hadda break 2x to pee, but that's just a matter of fine tuning.

No Dim Sum peeps, surprised, maybe THEY'RE being smart (normally, 1 day off per 5m run is recommended), though the rest of the usual suspects were there.

Nice to be home!!!

AND...forgot to mention, was terrific having Dennis high fiving us @ the finish-tall motherfucker!!!!!!!

day 836

stairs suck!

You can tell the peeps who did The Big One by the way they take stairs. And, gotta hand it to Stoney, he was breaking my balls royally, Quasimodo jokes, Smeigel references.....had me cracking up.

Brotherfromanothermother did a spin class and 3m yesterday. I can't even imagine it. This am I just started taking stairs normally.

Possibly tomorrow, but, rain predicted. God's trying to tell me something.

More comments from peeps asking why my number's couldn't be found. Nice to know I have angels.

day 835

"You guys ran from Staten Island?"

Second best quote from Sunday. Black woman waiting to use the port-o-sans on CPW, let me ahead-she was a tourist, asked me that. Really put it into perspective, hadda think for a second there.

Almost healed, one more day or so. Temps pushing close to 70 today, hurts to not run, but can't do perm damage. Gotta give the bod a break.

day 834

:)

Did my "day after the Marathon" trip into Manhattan. Wow. Never gets old (pix down below).

*Neglected to mention Dennis. Always great to see him @ the finish, impossible to miss him.

Back killing me, tough going down stairs, but otherwise, unscathed. Happy.

God bless the peeps, they saw no results for me, nor splits. Lovely knowing support is there.

Later, take Stoney to the movies. Wrap up a great weekend.


...and Hank, again, fuck you. I'll do what I bloody well please.

I AM stealth mode!!!!!

the tricky part was getting into the right corral/wave without a bib, but with the dickless midget motivating me, I made it happen!!!!!

What a GREAT run! With the pressure off (chips were in the bibs) I had the freedom to run as I wanted to. AND, as a result, came in a full hour and twelve minutes faster than last year. Of course last year I DID walk the last 6 miles, but still...in 30 years no one will ask why or how. All that matters is the medal.

And again, why would ANYONE come to a club dinner, with the first words out of their mouths being "If you're not wearing your bib, I'll make sure you get pulled from the course." Like I wasn't regged??? Like I didn't do a gazillion of their races?????? What an asshole. And yes, he saw me today, and yes, I shook his hand. And no, I wasn't wearing it. NO ONE tells me what to do. Limpdick asshole.

It really WAS a perfect day. Cool (NOT freezing cold) first thing, didn't need the hothands, nor the hazmat suit. Stuck to my plan: feed every 3 miles, with the peeps @ mile 14 ish with replenishment.

REALLY happy with my time. ESPECIALLY knowing I stuck it to limpdick.

Best sign: "worst parade ever."

Saw Nicole and Steve n' co, passed Big Bird Mike Ogazon, passed tall fluffy haired dentist guy. REALLY fed off the crowds. Lovely, truly lovely. GREAT to, in a sea of 45,000+, bump into peeps.

***Also, now, if you do 15, you're NOT automatically in. So, no pressure. We KNOW I'll always do at least 9 NYRR races, so I'll qualify that way. No biggie.

Thanks God. Thanks peeps!!!

*****And, after another shit night, amazed I did the run at all. Shebitch was, again, in rare form, on a tear about ________ (whatever meaningless shit), whereupon I raged right back "I have an important event tomorrow, shutthefuckup." No, it isn't easy doing this sort of thing with NO support on the homefront, in fact, sabotage, but it makes my peeps more important to me.

day 833

The Day Is Here!!!

Not much time, gotta hit Runner's Edge for the Bus. I'll check in manana. Wish me well.

day 832

Hank IS an asshole

WHY would you come to a club dinner wth an agenda to be an asshole??? Gave me shit about pulling me off the course if I wasn't wearing a bib! Under the aegis of "just doing my job." Small dicked white midget. Really pissed me off. Wait 'til I see him tomorrow. And Vince was no better "Just get another Marshall to pull him off."

Otherwise, a great dinner. Beat the shit outta Olive Garden. I had the farfalla with sausage-nice portion, very "real deal Italian," not that Chef Boy Ar Dee crap. Downside: $40????? We apparently chipped in to cover Vince and Sue. No idea why. Though this was the gospel according to Steve. A lil too big for himself. No wonder Lynn dropped his clingy ass.

Temps? 45 degs. Should be purrrrrrrrfect for manana.

REALLY looking forward to it.

...but...FUCK Hank.

day 831

2 days to go!

Off today and manana. Gots'ta rest up.

Hit the job, give the troops a pep talk (now that we FINALLY have a contract), then off to nyc. THEN hookup with brotherfromanothermother, check the expo, hit Paragon, pig out, then dinner with the peeps!

Love this shit!!!!!

day 830

in the chutes!!!

48 hours and counting! Got my last run in this am, then off to The Expo. you can tell economic times are tough: no freebies. Of course, I DID get on The Paragon Bus-"free lunch." Had a hot dog (which I NEVER eat) and pizza (which, again, I NEVER eat), later in the day: a HUGE muffin, jelly doughnut, and eclair. Yummmmm.

Temps predicted for Sun are actually great! Yesss!!!!!

Hooking up with brotherfromanothermother manana, we'll hit The Expo, Paragon, hang, then dinner.

God I love this shit!

day 829

closer yet!!!

One more run this week (manana, Thurs), then fri and sat off days. Hit the expo manana and fri, then the club pasta dinner fri, then...THEN....

Good morning for a run today. Long sleeves, shorts, gloves.

Fortunately, Sunday's temps predicted to hit 60. Should make waiting @ Wadsworth less painful.

day 828

soo close!

One more am run to go then...THEN...The Big One!!! Take thurs,fri,sat off-meaning: no running, but matters to attend to nontheless. Go to the expo thurs and fri, chillax sat.

This am, back to "normal." 49 degs, shorts and t shirt-though gloves WERE in order. This is no time to catch a cold.

day 827

skewers, REALLY???

Woke up, Shebitch put up the seasonal "curtain," sequestering the "den" from the main body of the house. Ran outta tacks, used CORN SKEWERS. You STILL think I make this crap up????? Fuckin' nut. Goes out @ all hours to shop, pick up Snapple @ Walgreens, but can't buy tacks??? Better to destroy the wood I took great pains to sand and finish. Doesn't give a shit about Its own home-but cook for others. Pathetic.

Another terrific morning, 39 degs, clear path, no ice. 6 days to go.

day 826

:)

finished the weekend on a high note.

started crappy, Shebitch putting notes on food in the fridge, i.e. "don't touch, for Keith's dinner tonight and tomorrow." Of course, neither transpired, the food remains uncooked, he had frozen pizza (meanwhile, It cooked a shitload of chicken for Its sick friend. Again, fuck us, friends get what we should-after all, we're only family). Likewise, with yesterday's "Noreaster" (pussy Noreaster if you ask me, one inch of snow n' wind???), the gate Shebitch couldn't be bothered closing is currently hanging by a thread. Translation: if it falls apart, they can't throw Hulk in the backyard-he'd escape. So, needless to say, Stoney goes out in the wind/snow/rain to fix the gate. Remember, all Shebitch hadda do was supervise the installation (remember, when installed I was...what's that word..."working."). Alas, in addition to not lifting a finger, It cannot manage the presence of mind to shut the gate properly, hence, it's FUCKED UP. Glad I spent thousands to have Amendola's install the fencing.

So, with the drop in temps, do we have heat? Of course-electric portable heaters. God forbid spend a buck on oil, no, spend MY money on electric bills. Useless cunt.

So, this am was s'posed to be the Poland Spring 5m in Central Park. Alas, the park was closed-falling trees. Didn't even think of heading over to Totten-did THEY head to OUR race????? So, got my miles in @ AP. Rolling hills, ice on the overpasses, made for a welcome break.

Was glad to log more than a mere 5m. Though I DO miss my peeps. Hope they did well.

HELLUVA good time @ the record expo. God bless wfmu.

day 825

got lucky


precip predicted, to start out as rain (ughhhhhh) THEN SNOW! Fortunately, manana back to normalcy, but today s'posed to be a shipwreck. So, headed out asap.

Usually on weekends try to leave @ 5-90 mins later than usual for me. But with rain predicted to start @ 6am, hadda boogie. Good thing I did. Mist started asap, still misting, but raining as we speak in Manhattan. No prob, got my miles in!

With The Big One 8 days away, now is not the time to slack off.

day 824

BRRRRRRRR!

Woke up, checked the pc, 38 degs!!!!! Wow! Didn't we miss a season in the middle?

Actually felt good to get my miles in wearing cold gear.

VIP'S coming to the unit for 90 mins, then I can enjoy my Friday.

day 823

GRRRRRRRR!!!

Woke up, ok. Few mins later RAIN!!! I was HOPING I'd have a window of opportunity. Got to the job, laced 'em up, nothin' doin' RAINNNNNNN! Of coruse, a day off WOULD be normal, but...

All day conference, with the thuoght of that in mind, would'a been nice to get a run in.

Oh well, my knees'll thank me.

(glad I didn't get soaked though. Nothing worse than heading out dry, then getting nailed)

Attended the conference, all the way near the WTC. THEN, during "lunch," headed to B & N to pick up a copy of Piri Thomas' book, THEN off to NYRR to get brotherfromanothermother and my numbers for Sunday.

Busy day.

...and did I mention I hate rain???

day 822

11 more days

Getting closer and closer to The Big One. Brotherfromanothermother called yesterday to tell me he'd FINALLY accessed his Facebook page-he logs on less than Lisa-who logs in once a month. Also, he checked his corral for The Big One. Surprised he did what he did-you MUST give a predicted time-but you gotta do it on a curve. Couple of years ago I was still on Fort Wadsworth, looked up @ the Verrazano, Larry the Lighthouse was on the bridge. WTF???? Since then, I always gave a wildly adjusted time-3 hours. Little did I think they'd buy it! I go off @ 9:40. That's the good news. The BETTER news: it's an hour earlier than normal people. Thank you God!!!!! Waiting that long to run is the worst part.

THAT was icing on the cake. Earlier in the day a former peep who'd relapsed-I'd driven him to rehab-called to check in. I usually duck his calls(I usually duck EVERYONE'S calls. I'm obviously not one to "shoot the shit."), but we had a nice conversation. He was doing well, good. A really genuinely good guy.

Striders hooking up for our usual premarathon pasta dinner. Finally though we got smart. Enough of the friggin' Olive Garden already. Always a wait for crap food. We're doing a local restaurant near here. More gooder! Brotherfromanothermother's volunteering The Expo the same day, so we'll hang, go to The Expo, then the pasta dinner. Nice!!!

THEN, Football Dad friends me on Facebook. God bless the guy. He's one of those genetically nice people-like brotherformanothermother.

So, with rain predicted for this pm through tomorrow, got my miles in this am. Good.

day 821

follow your heart


...good thing I do. Was scheduled to have Cablevision come fix our internet prob between 5-8 pm. To cover myself, I'd asked Stoney to come straight home. He didn't. Of course, Shebitch left asap. House empty. Except for First Bank of Dad. @ 4:45 Cable guy called n' asked if he could come early. YESSSS!!!!! But, let that sink in: if First Bank of Dad hadn't been there? This gets really old really fast, being the only "can do" person there.

Problem? It was a bad splitter. Also, it was the ORIGINAL splitter. Weathered, exposed to the elements. He replaced it, the whole thing didn't take 15 minutes. Of course, it raises various problems: if he'd had to go into the basement to trace the line? He'd have never been heard from again. Fucking shipwreck Shebitch leaves in Its wake. Now, this gets translated as "stop moving my things." Of course, Its things are everywhere.

Meanwhile...from the "things that matter" chapter: got my run in. PERFECT temps-56. Didn't even need gloves. Nice.

day 820

soooo close

Got the license renewed, check. Got the windshield replaced, check. Now: inspection. The end of the 3 part 'roid. Thank GOD I can trust my Chevy dealer. Drop off the veeeeehicle, tell 'em to "do what needs to be done." Nice.

BUT, into every life.....INTERNET'S down. Dayum, feel like I lost a limb. Thank God it didn't affect cable, couldn't miss Boardwalk.

NIIIIICE morning for a run. Crisp, t-shirt and gloves. Still shorts weather...for now.

day 819

nice but.....

Did the Autism 4m. BEAUTIFUL morning for it, but it always starts too late: 9:30????? Did ok, didn't havta walk. 'Bout a half dozen of us there. Brotherfromanothermother and I reconnected, discussing plans for The Big One. He's been so beusy being amrried he hasn't had the opportunity to train properly-which of us has?????

Then, got home, friggin' cable modem dead. SHIT. So hadda hit the job to input this stuff. Pain in the ass. Fortunately, the cable peeps be comin' manana bet 5-8.

Nice pic below.

day 818

well done

not GREAT, but well done.

Did the Prospect Park 10k, the inaugural race from the peeps who do the Rock n' Roll Marathons. It was fun. Prospect Park is NEVER easy, my time SUCKED, but I ran it all, no walk breaks. AND it was 2 loops-which I HATE. Not inexpensive-$60, but a medal and way cool shirt! To top it off, who introduced the race, Marty Markowitz, who quoted the latest GQ which named Brooklyn the "coolest city." I disagree, nyc IS where it's at, but Brooklyn is close. Nice to run by the bandshell, echoes of concerts past. Also, well provisioned-liquid Gu @ mile 3.5. Nice. PLENTY of crap afterwards. Elik did it as well-he smoked the course. On the other hand, he doesn't have a 4m manana.

Came home, Stoney asking for razors. I'd had a stash, It discovered them, all of a sudden I'm fair game. No dice. Told him to hold Shebitch to Its responsibilities. Hurt like hell to say no to him, but he has to understand. (though I DID salve my conscience by buying him Taco Bell).

Of course, It left him alone all day, frozen pizza in the fridge. Ahhhhhhh memories.........

day 817

WOW!!!!!

Felt really bad about my escort to Joe Walsh, but fuckit, their loss. WHAT A CONCERT!!!!!

He hits the stage in a Ramones shirt, proclaiming "p.s.216 Queens, the longest 6 years of junion high." What a GOD!!!!! Introduces the band, the 2 drummers, points to the percussionist "n' I dunno who he is, just some guy." And, in this day and age of political correctness, the guy was black. Didn't matter, all in good fun! Starts the show w/Welcome to the Club, introduces the next one as "this next song is called 'Song Two.'" This man is a PISSER!!!!!!! Really took me back. Thanks God, thanks Joe.

Today, a LOVELY day. Got my run in, hit NYC, hit the Uniqlo store-fatal error. They have these long sleeve thermal shirts, $12.90, hadda buy every style, THEN jeans for $9.90. Walked out -$90.

Went to pick up my number for manana's big Prospect Park race, bump into 2 girls who recognized me from Alley Pond. They were calling one of their peeps to introduce all of them to me. Amazing. They asked if I was "that guy." Friends everywhere. Cute friends too!

Hadda switch bibs. They had me in corral 11, predicted time of 2:30. I could crawl the race in that time. Now I'm in corral #2. A bit much, but fuckit.

Thanks you God, Joe Walsh is one of your better creations!!!!! Totally reaffirms my faith.

*****GREAT pic below. Row G!!!!!!!!!

this just in

Piri Thomas died!!!!!

Wow. 61 years old.

Remember when his book came out, we were in elementary school, the book opened our eyes REALLY WIDE.

You left an impression hermano.

Estamos en la lucha!

day 816

the glass IS half full (much as I dislike admitting it)

Woke up, raining. FUCK. But......."passing showers." Literally, on my way into the job it was stop and start showers.

Got to the job, liiiight rain, then stopped. NICE! I was ready to bail, when it rained it was heavy, but alas, got to lace 'em up! Nice.

Conflicted last night. Rick was going to Dick Dale. Never been to the Boulton Center, and Dick Dale IS cool, but eh. THOUGHT it better to stay in. BIG mistake. Shebitch, typically, on a tear. Fuck it, I got through the night!

Tonight, Joe Walsh!!!!!!!

day 815

soooooooooooooooo close


Was mentally ready to NOT run this am, again, rain predicted. Woke up, nothing. Didn't even dare check the hourly forecast-didn't really wanna know. Hey, don't fuck with my defense mechanisms.

Hit the unit, still nothing. Now, parenthetical to this, I DID leave Toxichouse 30 mins earlier than usual, in the back of my mind was yesterday's hourly forecast-they said the precip'd start 'round 4. My rough guesstimate-a day later=an hour later, so if I got up 30 mins earlier I'd beat it.

ALMOST made it. After the turn around, drops, then mist, then...RAIN. Fuck it, got my run in! Life is worth living.

day 814

I could get used to this!

Really feeling good, unusual. Usually feel ok, but I picked up a pair of Asics and they work! Amazing. Those + running = feeling good. I'm surprised. The weekend sucked, my birthday dinner SUCKED, yet I'm ok. Amazing what running can do.

And, miracle of miracle, after prepping myself to throw in the towel, Stoney's actually going to the gym!!!!! I was ready to either get a refund on half the year's cost, or push him to go. Que paso? His peeps are joining. Good. Thanks God!!!!!

day 813

good to be back!

Really glad the weekend's over. Even ended on a shit note. When we went out for my birthday dinner/debacle, of course IT took a doggie bag (side note: payback's a what???? During the height of Its cursing @ me, Its tooth fell out. Rather than do what normal people do, It Krazy Glued it in. STILL think I make this shit up?). So, back to the doggie bag. It told Stoney to dump his veggies in: "Daddy'll eat 'em tomorrow." I did, It comes home late last night, raging that I ate them. Amazing. Hasta poke Its head into the bedroom to yell @ me. No Virginia, you CAN'T make this shit up.

Now, here's what ya gotta keep in mind. Even Stoney's starting to see It's nuts. Friday It came home with takeout-from Applebees-how ironic. Spent $30 on quesadillas. THIRTY fucking bucks. Even HE shook his head. Don't shop for food, to cook, like a normal person.

Was nice to be back on The Line.

Interesting note: No, you CAN'T hide. @ yesterday's 1pm 5k, I was the only non white, but that isn't the point. Bumped into Team In Training from Eisenhower Park peep and the guy who runs backwards in Alley Pond. Amazing. Where there are runners we have peeps.

day 812

THAT sucked!!!!!

If it wasn't for the fact that I havta look @ myself in the mirror, I'd crawl under a rock!

Yesterday we were supposed to go to dinner @ 7:30, my birthday dinner. Again...give that a second to sink in. 9 days after my birthday, because of one bullshit reason after another. The night before? It hadda hook up with friends. Nice.

So, finally, @ 8:15 we went. 45 minutes late, again, excuse after excuse..."if I had your number..." (conveniently forgetting the psychotic rantings which led to my getting my number changed). Then screaming "fuck you" twice, because It couldn't admit It fucked up, again. THEN, getting on my case about my eating disorder. Remember, THIS was the night to take me to dinner. Lovely. Nothing says "I love you" or "happy birthday" like "fuck you."

Eventually, we get to the restaurant. Reservations? Of course not, 45 minute wait. I went ballistic. Fuck me.

We went to Applebees instead. Big fucking deal. dinner @ 9pm. Lovely. My one fucking meal of the day 7 1/2 hours late-and THIS was my birthday gift?????

So this am, was supposed to do the St.Francis 5k, fuck that. Did The Line, REALLY needed the miles. THEN, did a 5k race @ 1pm. Anything to stay outta myself. Actually came in 3rd in my age group. Of course, didn't wait for my award. What a fucking shit 24 hours.

***AND, icing on the cake: Stoney had hit on me first thing in the am for $ to hang with his peeps after the PSAT'S. WHICH HE DIDN'T TAKE??????!!!!! Why? The CUNT forgot to send in the paperwork on time. But I get "fuck you" x 2????????

That fucking cunt.

Happy birthday to me.

day 811

sooo close!!!

I can ALMOST taste it, but nooooooo.

Was preregged to do Oysterfest, but fuck that. Got my green line 6.5 in instead. Totally bailed on the Oysterfest. Not in the mood to TRY to do speed on a short course. Now is not the time.

And better. Note the date. Note when my birthday was. Shebitch wants TONIGHT to take me to dinner. Why? Last night/evening, It hadda hang with its friends. Great. So I get to postpone my once a fucking day meal for SIX GODDAMNED HOURS, to celebrate MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY. I'm gonna order like a motherfucker.

Tomorrow, not sure. St.Francis has a 5k, might havta do it-a Queens thing. We'll see.

day 810

I could get used to this!

Had the choice between 2 shows last night, timed it juuust right, did both!!!

First, Indigo Girls @ The Beacon. Was ready to bail on this one due to the other concert, but knew the other one had 3 opening acts. Good thing I followed my instincts: EIGHTH FUCKING ROW!!!!! Wow. And of course, the concert was amazing-how could it not be.

Then off to The Gramercy for Marky Ramone. God bless him for keeping the music going. Note for note (they weren't virtuosos-that was the point-3 chord rock) Ramones. He could be doing a million things right now, he's makin' music. God bless him. Though my hearing suffered, blissfully :).

Between the 2 concerts lots of memories. Indigo Girls @ Rumsey Playfield(THAT was lovely, with a beautiful person-made being alone painful thereafter), the Beacon-WAY too many shows there, wrapping it: R-A-M-O-N-E-S!!!!! Yummmmmm.

Then to the West Side Y, showered and crashed big. Woke up in the middle of the night-SERIOUS rain, but by the time I got outta bed-6:40, it'd stopped. Good. Did a loop of Central Park, and now, chillax.

Nice one God, thanks!!!!

day 809

FRIDAY!!!!!

(at least for me it is)

Rain had been predicted, yecch. Woke up, hadda shut the windows. Left Toxichouse, raining. Got to the unit, mist. YESSSSS! Got my run in!

What complicated matters is this being my Friday. Tonight I'll spend the night in Manhattan, as the concert is @ The Beacon. So, if I hadn't run, those'd be calories I'll need later I'm sure. Though I'd have been tempted to run in Central Park, since we ALL know I'll be WAY early. And the time between checking into my room and the concert would normally be spent at some limited release movie. We'll see.

When I got up, Shebitch struck again. Fucked with my stuff. And you wonder why I have my "lost weekends." Beats losing my mind.

Looking forward to the concert.

day 808

:)

Went home yesterday, Stoney was actually up for a movie! These days, being a teenager, doing ANYTHING together is a friggin' miracle. Add to this, it's "welfare Tuesdays," ($6 flicks), so he's loathe to go. He'll go on a Wednesday (and pay double), but doesn't wanna go on Tuesday. So yesterday was different. Nice. Of course there WAS an agenda. He was gonna hit on me for Taco Bell.

So off we went, early. So early he got Mickey D's instead. So far so good. Got our tix for Real Steel-a surprisingly good movie (even @ 2 hrs 7 mins, the time passed quickly). He got his usual ersatz slurpee and pretzel nuggets, I got my self serve pay by the ounce candy-and was comped! Nice!!!

Shebitch comes home, my birthday dinner is again postponed due to Its never predictable schedule. Good thing I don't give a fuck. But you KNOW I'm ordering to max out the check!!!!! It was whining about paying for tires and a break job, so of course I noted the mortgage/electric/cable payments. Welcome to life bitch, it costs.

day 807

short one

With Monday Columbus Day, and Friday off, this'll be a brief week. Looking forward to Thursday night @ the Beacon.

Good run this am, cool-ish. No t-shirt. Full moon, way cool!

day 806

recovery run/trudge

Again, really SHOULD'A taken today off, but the weather was WAY too nice. Pret texted asking if I was doing AP, so we went. Major error, how the FUCK she thinks she can do my pace escapes me. Though today, we matched. Her knee and my fatigue made for a perfect fit.

Then, off to Chelsea Piers for HOCKEY!!!!! Hit a flick after, then home. Why "home" rather than "Toxichouse?" Had the place to my damn self. Nice.

A good day.

day 805

you can't make up stuff this good.

Was tempted to stay overnight in Brooklyn. Why? Did a 10k in Bed Stuy in the am, 5k in Greenpoint in the pm, so it WOULD'A been easier, but no. Made the mistake of going home.

But don't lets get ahead of ourselves.

Took the LIRR into Brooklyn predawn. DAMN! To think I used to do that every day. Looks like post-apocalyptic New York. What a hole! But, went down Nostrand ave to find the run. Previously I'd driven. Crucial error. The race was on FULTON!!!! Shit. Of course, I was hours early, no prob. Now, I'd let this race fall off the rader because the organizers are assholes, but the cause is cool. Plus, it's in 'da hood. Last time I did it, it was hand scored, my time didn't register. Was regged to do the Staten Island half, but fuck Staten Island-pain in the ass coming in AND leaving. Also, Michele was @ this race, one of the peeps. So, did the run, did ok. Caught her with 1200 metres to go, actually stopped @ 200m to let her pass. It was only fair.

Then, off to Greenpoint. The pig-a-thon. Really a glutfest. DP was there, thank God, otherwise I would'a felt horribly alone. Though this WAS where I picked up my uber cool folding bike, The Tank. She doesn't think she did well, but kicked my ass. Then again, I did the am run. Was nice to hang with someone with a brain. Drove me back to the job, then home I went.

Big mistake/good thing. Why? Stoney has a party tonight. Shebitch couldn't find Its checkbook, guess who ponied up $$$. THAT'S not the prob, the prob is: if I hadn't have come home, he was gonna tell the babe he was sick, and thus miss out. All because Shebitch is a useless cunt. Really. And you wonder if this is fiction.

Good thing I came home. First Bank of Dad to the rescue.

***And again, GREAT after party in Greenpoint. Had murder burgers, a cookie, olive loaf, and part of a 6 foot hero. All the shit I NEVER eat. Yummmmmm.

day 804

yin/yang, best of times/worst of times.

Last night Shebitch AGAIN destroys my NY marathon poster. Fucking cunt. No worries, I have DOZENS. and put one on the fridge as well. God forbid you support your spouse. Or at least stay the fuck outta the way.

On the positive front: got to see my peeps this am. Chris and Lisa were running the opposite way (funny, didn't wait after-typical. But if I don't wait I get grilled). Was nice to see 'em all.

Manana, a big day: seemingly Brooklyn day. Bed Stuy in the am, Greenpoint in the pm. Of course I hadda do the lawn today, but it's ok. Manana am is a 10k, pm a 5k.

Won't miss Staten Island a bit.

day 803

that sucked

Crap birthday on the homefront. I'm First Bank of Dad, and that's it. Be nice to have someone do something. When it's Shebitch's birthday I make it a point for Stoney to have a card and a gift to present first thing in the am. Oh well, good thing I learned how to be good to me.

Thank God all my peeps checked in, meant alot.

Had a VERY good day off. Got up late (5am), hit The line @ 8. Hadda nail down some shit @ the job. Ran with Pret, then hit the golf course. Back home, ate, then off to Manhattan. Though I'm bailing on the Staten Island half (too many good runs to do that day) hadda get my shirt.

Can't believe Shebitch didn't do a goddamned thing. Stil think I make this shit up?

day 802

...and what have we done?


52 years ago today. Wow. Should'a died long ago, but still vertical and intact.

Went further than I should've, done more than I ever dreamed. Been a fun ride.

Hope my mom knows the fruits of her labors, really broke her balls as a single parent. Hope my dad sees the legacy continues, and that, like him, the testosterone runs deep. Hope one day my son realizes his father was always there, despite being totally alone in the parenting game.

REALLY pissed my work is taken for granted, but then again, if you're doing your job...like a drop of water in the ocean.......It's never about you. Rather, the service you render the patients. I have their respect, nothing else matters.

Woke up this am to a note from Stoney re: "mom's working the rest of the week...she wants to know..." Guess It can speak about me behind my back but can't to my face. Bitch.

Steve Jobs died. Ouch. The world lost a good one.

And yet Shebitch lives.

Still can't believe more than half my life is over, though knowing me I'll keep going. If not, each day was made to count. Not a day has been wasted.

Thanks guys.

day 801

FINALLY!!!!!

The threat of rain is over. Nice. Now we roll up our sleeves!

One month from The Big One. Now's the time to get serious. Did St.Francis, feeling good. Concerned about what to do re: which running shoes to use. Was used to the NB's, but made a successful switch to Sauconys-they don't change their design every year. Can't shake the annoyance I had @ the knee pain resulting from worn NB's, since I didn't wanna give 'em up.

REALLY annoyed at my own agency at the bullshit. Again, to recap. I'd interviewed June 21. NOW I get a call that the same position was posted on Craigslist. Not even a peep in the job announcements section on our own website! WHATTHEFUCK???? And the icing on the cake, NEVER was an official announcement about acting director. Talk about getting shit on.

day 800

this is getting ridiculous

thank God I have a taste for the absurd.

Got a call from a peep yesterday, 2 facilities have Director's gigs open, both had interviews done in June. Both were posted on Craigslist. WTF????? REALLY nice of our agency to inform us. Can you believe we weren't notified? And of course we got the usual bullshit "you'll hear from us..." What pure crap. Amazing an agency that has a wellness committee treats its hard working staff this way. We don't get more $ in our checks for the dual function we hold, yet we don't get respected. Amazing.

AND, per our agency website, there are no postings/job announcements. WhattheFUCK is this??? Stealth posting?????

For how long were we told: pay your dues and...and what? Get fucked????? Get used? REALLY dysfunctional way of doing business. And THIS, a behavioral sciences agency. Wellness my ass.

Can you IMAGINE if the gig goes to an outsider? You'd think the agency would'a learned from their MATC debacle-2 outsiders, 2 resignations. OR their Long Island fiasco, a 2 year Director.

Really makes you feel good about what you do fo' massa.

GREAT running temps. 50 degs! Sweatshirt n shorts. Yummmmmmm.

Last night, new season of House. YAY!!!!!!

Shebitch? Pouring rain yesterday, Stoney takes his longboard to Subway. No food in the house. It comes waltzing in @ 10pm. He had no idea where the bitch was, and I didn't care. All I knew: the house was quiet. Great way to live.

day 799

peeps dunno

Got my run in this am, again, with the threat of rain I take nothing for granted. This HAS to be the rainiest friggin' season ever, jeez. Was nice seeing my usual suspects-esp the Dim Sum peeps who were @ the 1/2 on Sat. They were as happy to see me as I them. Felt good. Would'a been nice to take off, but with The Big One a month away, now's not the time.

Shebitch, again, on a tear last night. Home @ 8:30pm, manic as hell. Actually pissed I had a window open (can you IMAGINE??? Ain't I a bastard???), then goes on a tear about my wiping water from the counter. Amazing. Peace and quiet 'til It comes in. Started with the "don't you have a run to go to?" bullshit. Great to have support on the homefront ain't it?

Peeps dunno how good they got it.

day 798

better!

Did the Forest Park 5k, an event I had no business doing.

Woke up this am, rain, again. FUCK! But then, it stopped. YAY!!!!! After the half yesterday, there COULD be worse things, but alas, was not to be. The precip stopped, and off I went.

Knew at least one peep would be there, turns out there were 2. Good. Hadda represent. They're our sister club. Unfortunately, too many others went their seperate ways. I miss when clubs were together. Fuck 'em, we were there.

Not the usual course, that one's a 4m. Good. Tough enough as it was, but, no walk breaks. Bumped into a renegade before the run, great to always have a peep wherever you go, and Irish Joe. Lovely really. Great people. *Side note: even yesterday, in the pouring rain in nyc, literally bumped into Evan. Amazing, friends everywhere.

Really one for the memories. When Shebitch first was in the hospital, I have a pic of Stoney in the bleachers on his gameboy. you know it was some time ago 'cause Howie was running.

Turned out to be a beautiful day. Glad I went.

Home? Stoney still in his pajamas, Shebitch nowhere to be found (ahhhh memories of Sundays) an empty container of ice cream in the garbage. Glad I paid for that gym memberbship.

Texted, mms'd, bbm'd Lisa asking about the Diva thing. No answer.

day 797

Better than I thought.

Did the 1/2 today. NOT rested, no carbs, so the energy wasn't what it should'a been, but still came in @ 49%. I'm happy with that.

Yes it was a struggle, I was entirely ready to bail first thing in the am. POURING rain, but fortunately, it stopped as I got the call from brotherfromanothermother. Hooked up, the sun tried coming out, all was well.

Felt good until mile ten, then fatigue kicked in. Fortunately, Vince and Sue were volunteers-can't wimp out in front of your peeps. With 1200metres to go, they cheered me on, I took a walk break, some cute babe used the name she'd overheard them calling me, gave me the push I needed. I LOVE running :) .

Seriosuly considered doing the 1.7, but it turns out, 6 Striders did the half. Imagine if I'd been the sole pussy?

THEN, hung in nyc caught a limited release flick, and the SKIES OPENED! Bought a cheap shit street um-br-ella (eh eh eh eh) to get to Duane Reade to buy a real one.

Did a spin class to cool down, then headed home.

A very good day.

day 796

it's a wrap!

Tough week, enjoying my 3 day weekend.

Found out one of the layoffs is our Rec Therapist. Actually, he's getting bumped, so he'll still have a gig, just not with us. Sucks for both him and the facility. He'll be a loss.

The Line this am, saw the tail end of the usual suspects-since it's my "day off," left Toxichouse 2 hours later than usual.

Did the lawn, tolerated Stoney's shit attitude, now time to chill.

tomorrow: Grete's. A.k.a. regular runner's chance to feel like shit: there's a 1/7 mile run BEFORE the 1/2, so they'll be gone while we'll be finishing up, pretty much,a round lunchtime. Shit. But, gotta do it.

Meanwhile, the bullshit Diva's run is Sunday. Yet another reason tos egregate yourself rather than hook up with peers. Really a crock.

this just in

(things that make me feel bad-and there are few)

Coworker filling in some paperwork to get reimbursed for expenses, because "I have a child going to college."

THAT makes me ache.

If Shebitch helped with the bills we could do that. But, how can you go to college if you don't even have heat in winter???????

When you know how good things COULD be, it makes how things ARE that much more painful.

Sure, lots don't go to college. And if I hadn't have gone, would things be any different? Dunno.

God grant me the serenity.......................

day 795

drats!!!!!

Misting as I left the house, didn't deter me. I woke up to a shitload of ants on the kitchen floor-Shebitch was home all day/do the math-so needless to say, a lil' rain wasn't gonna do me in.

Hit The Line, did ok until.....unTIL the turnaround. THEN it started fucking raining. Only one Dim Sum peep out-the rest were smart. JUST as I was-literally-cursing God, it stopped, hmmmmm.

Now: there ARE the times which try men's souls. Layoffs announced yesterday. These are the situations which show who's a leader and who isn't.

Hey, got my miles in, I'm teflon baby!!!

day 794

missed it by thiiiiiis much!

This threat of rain jive is a pain, but, we adapt.

Leave Toxichouse not knowing if I'll get my run in, success! Made it! Got my miles in, now nothing seems all THAT bad.

Tried going home yesterday, walked into a shitstorm. Shebitch was there, crap EVERYWHERE. I'm talkin' EVERYWHERE. Stoney sitting in the midst of it on his laptop. Turns out, he stayed home from school-itchy throat. Great environment ain't it?

So, into this scene from Hoarders I went, for a second. It had been sitting in the back, so its chair was still in the yard, crap all over the living room, crap all over the bed in which it never sleeps. Amazing. Crap literally EVERYWHERE.

I stayed for all of 30 seconds, went to see Killer Elite. Not bad, much better than being @ Toxichouse.

Just as the previews started, phone call. Albany. When Albany calls, you answer. Big conference call this am re: layoffs. THESE are the times that try mens' souls.

day 793

they're back!

My Dim Sum peeps must've done the NYRR 18m tune up, I figured that because they weren't on The Line yesterday, so, must've been giving the muscles a chance to repair (they're normal).

This am they were back. I'm approaching the hill before St.Francis, I see 2 lights coming toward me (they use forehead lights). Good. Everyone that should'a been there was there.

And again, we beat the rain! ;)

day 792

...so much for that!!!

Was s'posed to rain for days, wassup wit' dat? We had nothing. Worked out really well. Got my run in this am, back to The Line, Ahhhhhhh.

Knees a little achy, but I'll live.

Really happy we did Ocean to Sound. One of those things you join a club for. Very proud of our group.

day 791

WHEW!!!!!

Ocean to Sound is always a long day, but well worth it. Normal people prep for such a day, let alone a race, by taking a day off. That's normal people. Instead, after doing the 1m, then a 5k in the same afternoon, I was wiped. But, if you lived where I did, you'd do the same.

Anita and I clicked about that. Her neighbors make her crazy, my son's mother is a twat. We both seek solace through races. Not a bad thing.

So, met brotherfromanothermother @ The Parkhouse, saw the Renegades, headed to Jones beach, did the race. What fun! I had leg 2-good. With the threat of rain, and/or humidididity, good to have a lead leg-and flat (mostly). Did ok, nothing to write home about, but no walk breaks. Again, after 2 races the day previous, nice.

It's really a day to be social, while hangin' with your peeps. Amazing how quickly the time goes! This despite really humid 80 deg heat, sun, running hard, and needing a shower bad. But being a team is what it's all about-which is why Quantum was-again-nowhere to be found.

Then, back to Toxichouse to do the lawn. Rain @ that point seemed appealing.

A good weekend, thanks guys!

day 790

the adventure continues!

Still reeling from hangin' with the Commissioner Thursday! Who'd a thunk a guy with a ZZ Top/Osama beard and a tasmanian devil tie, let alone 7 earrings, would be escorting the head of an agency around, way cool! What hurt: not one fucking mention of my hard work when Verruso got his award. We give an award to someone retired 3 months, and the fucker hasn't the gratitude to thank his right hand? Nice.

Today should prove interesting. Rain predicted off and on. WAS tempted to wear my rain running shoes, but with Ocean to Sound tomorrow, don't wanna hurt my knees.

On the sched (dependent on rain) am: 1m on Fifth ave, pm 5k in Perth Amboy. We'll see.

More to follow.

So, a really great day!!!

The Fifth Ave Mile: Met Tom, hung, bonded. Who pops up, Deb! Yay!!! Went to the port-o-san, Andie/Fran/Andie's Coach! Cool!!! (pix below)

Did ok, headed out in a corral 2 behind mine, wanted to hit Penn Station in plenty of time to hit Jersey. Passed Joe after 400m, he was taking pix. What fun! (previously, in the corral, bonded with another "older" runner. Told him "we're not older, we're "broken in.")

Hit Penn way early, hit Modells, got my running shoes at a deep discount, then an emplyoee hands me a $5 off card. Wow, what a day.

Anita was running late, after paying $23 for a round trip ticket, I wasn't gonna wait, be late, the do a 1m walk. For THAT train fare I was doin' the 5k. So when she called, told her I'd meet her @ the race site.

This was a Komen run, so surprisingly, the day of race fee was the same as prereg. The beauty of a Mayberry race. Perth Amboy is a slum, like a Hispanic Hempstead, but the race area, along the waterfront is, curiously, like the Hamptons.

Did ok, nothing to be thrilled about, but this was an endurance run. Also, after not eating, REALLY an endurance run. Met Anita @ the finish, we caught up, hung with her friend Alan, then headed back. On the way texted my peep from College, I invited him to Joe Walsh. When I wouldn't accept $$$, he invited me to Gov't Mule.

A truly great day.

Got home in time (8pm). Of course, Stoney hit on First Bank of Dad. Shebitch? Nowhere to be found. Kid all alone all day, zero parenting. Dif between when the Bitch is home and not @ home? Zero. Never a presence, other than when It goes mental.

...so it goes...

day 789

good timing!

Trying to make the most of my time, not easy with rain predicted for the next 2 days. BUT, got my run in! Good. Miles, check.

Before, hit the donut shop to get Stoney breakfast, left it on his place. He likes it, I take pleasure in providing for him, and he thus eats by proxy. Yet ANOTHER thing shebitch never does.

Now it gets dicey, rain off n' on for the next 2 days, dayum!

S'posed to do the NYRR 1m with brotherfromanothermother, and hang a bit with Andie. BUT, if it rains, all bets off. THEN, possibly, head to Pert Amboy for a 5k in the pm.

All dependent on the weather.

day 788

sometimes you win

Woke up, raining. SHIT. With the 1m saturday, don't wanna slack off now. Prob is: from this am on, showers off and on. Just enough to destroy any planning. Fortunately, it's "passing showers," so, when I hit the job, it was ok. YESSS!!!!! Apparently, my Dim Sum peeps disagreed. Didn't see 'em, but the other usual suspects were out. Nice.

Yesterday, as expected, Shebitch did the driveby. Just enough to fuck up everything. Any thanks for playing Mr.Mom? Any thanks for taking care of the house? Of course not. Immediately launches into "where does he get THAT from" referring to some character trait. And you wonder why I call It what I call It. Not a fucking word of gratitude.

And of course, Stoney got his fucking video game. Wonderful. Something ELSE to keep him from walking the dog or hitting the gym.

But today I ran, thus, life is good. I can meet the day head on.

***Today, dog and poney show. Queens Symposium (???!!! could we possibly think more of ourselves???) is giving an award to my retired boss. Apparently it's the thing to do: give an award to someone who's been gone 3 months. Amazing. Fucking amazing. Drink the kool aid, the Emperor's clothes rock!!!

day 787

...so complicated!

ok, knew it was gonna happen. Shebitch blackmailed Stoney. He hadda walk the dog, do the dishes, and vacuum, or no Gears of War. Of course, he waited a)'til last night and b)for me to blow up. I came home, the sink was FULL, as in: you couldn't even use the faucet. At that point I went off, telling him I go to the job, hurry up my usually enjoyable run, to double back to pick up his breakfast, and HE can't even leave a BIT of room in the sink????? Let alone actually wash a dish???? I was ROYALLY pissed. Spoiled lazy fuck. And remember, if I don't give him $5, Shebitch will allow him to go without, pleading poverty-meanwhile-can buy him the latest video game. And again, no, we won't have heat this winter.

But, I DID get my run in. (from the "things no one knows and def don't appreciate" collection). Get up extra early to get my run in so I can attend to Stoney. Does he give a fuck? Does Shebitch? Does It EVER do what I do?

If I were to do differently, I wouldn't be me. I WAS tempted to ignore him, and leave him alone to walk to school. But, I told him I'd give him a lift-and with that comes breakfast. (was also tempted to get his breakfast, let the scent permeate the house, and feed it to Hulk, then leave-but that would've been cruel).

God, you know what I do. 'nuff said.

day 786

keep on truckin'

Another good day. Albany didn't shit when I told them about my (this WILL be bad) run in, not surprising, there was nothing to freak over. However, this points to the need for credibility. If I'd have fucked up, I'd have admitted it. Clearly this wasn't on me. Thankfully. Was actually nice giving my weekly telephone report. Usually the time drags, this one lasted 30 mins and flew. Nice.

Stoney tells me Shebitch is buying him the latest video game. Good for him, bad for life and all things right. Bitch can afford to blow bucks on that, yet I guarantee we'll have no heat this winter, again.

Though I adore driving him to school and picking up his breakfast, it WAS nice to have the illusion of "me time" on my run this am. Though I'm never too far from him-was preoccupied with "will the idiot remember to pack the um-br-ella (eh eh eh ah). He never does, then comes home SOAKED.

Now, again, let that earlier factoid sink in. Shebitch buying an $80 video game, but if I forget (and I rarely do) to give him lunch money, he goes without. Give that a good long time to ruminate. But I'm abusive eh???

...thank GOD for running.

day 785

wtf???

Ok, so it was weird enough to have a pedestrian run into a vehicle I was driving, balanced with hangin' with brotherfromanothermother. Ok, so far so what? Then, hung with brotherfromanothermother yesterday, attempted to run with him.......a good weekend, odd, but good.

Ok, then it turns out Shebitch will be away for ANOTHER week. FUCK!!!!! Now, that was the bad news. The good news? Shebitch will be away for ANOTHER week. Good/bad. Yin/Yang. Not too bad running a rehab, not too bad running a house. BOTH?=Tough. What Shebitch doesn't realize is the crap it takes for granted, who does It think keeps things together? It's like fighting a war on 2 fronts.

THEN, who does a drive by? Right. Calls Stoney, tells him to help bring in groceries. Amazing. Friggin' amazing. At least it provided groceries.

Don't even mention total disruption of the family unit. What a shipwreck!!!

So, obviously, St.Francis this am. Sweatshirt for the first 3 miles, then topless. Felt GREAT.

WAS weird not to see the Dim Sum peeps. first day in a long time they didn't show. One peep who does the return loop with 'em asked if I'd seen them. Could they have taken a day off?

Was REALLY a lovely morning for a run, but, miss my "me" time. THIS is something Shebitch will never understand: when you have a child to care for, you HAVE no life. So, get up extra early, do my run, then hurry home to get him breakfast and drive him to school (LOVE picking up his scrambled egg/bacon/cheese on a roll, he's eating by proxy).

day 784

so far so what?

Got a call from brotherfromanothermother. We run in streaks it seems. He was headed to AP for the refreshment run. (we really DO think alike). There were a few local races, one in Bethpage, another big one in NYC, but 5k's. What's really the point? And, after doing 4m yesterday, needed the miles, or so I thought.

Dunno why, but people can't take what you say @ face value. I.E. peeps think I'm better than I am. I run, a.k.a. "trudge." Tom did ok keeping my pace (his slow is my race) but with a mile to go, he hadda bust out.

Last night, as Stoney asks Shebtich if I was coming to dinner, of course It said "no." Nice isn't it. Really gives you that warm feeling inside.

day 783

yin/yang

Was GREAT to hang with brotherfromanothermother. We both did the NYRR Race in CP this am. THAT was cool. did well, nothing to write home about, but ok.

Then, it hit the fan.

Trying to get outta nyc was a friggin' nightmare, but WAS doing ok until....some shmuck on her cellphone walked into my vehicle. Great, just what I need. Hadda wait for NYPD to do a Police report, the idiot made it out like I ran into her-never a good thing. I told the cop it a)was before the pedestrian crosswalk b)against the light (for her) and c)she was on a cellphone. Fuck me.

Got home, Stoney tells me Shebitch was taking him out to dinner. Now let that sink in. The cubbard's bare, but It takes him out to dinner.

Yin/yang.

day 782

A full week!!!!!

Shebitch has been away for 7 days. GOD IS GOOD!!!!!

How lovely to experience what youze guyz experience: going to work, coming home, NOT avoiding your home but actually enjoying your time there. Best of all, hangin' with my son. Of course he's being a typical teen: dour, moody, worse than a bitch pms'ing, but THAT'S what teens do! Kills me that he's smoking pot, but I can only do so much.

(also funny, how it professes its love for Hulk, yet doesn't think twice of leaving for days on end) (funnier STILL that the bullshit which rationalized Its being a waitress continues: "I need the flexible hours to raise our son." It hasn't done a fucking thing!!!!! Ditched him to go to the beach, comes in this week here and there to drop off frozen pizza. Fucking useless.)

So, this am, St.Francis. Lovely morning, one of the usual suspects hadda remark @ the temps-53 degs. Delightful!!!!!

Then hurried home to pick up breakfast for Stoney then drive him to school. Nice.

Pity the bitch is coming home (3 more days of peace though).

day 781

THAT was weird!!!!!

Up extra early for The Big Day. Hit the job, tied up some loose ends (THIS @ 4:30am mind you), then off to The Line. Got my miles in, with my arm all chewed up, and then off to the gym to shower/reapply the dressing on my abrasions, then off to NYC.

The Big Day!!! First Director's meeting!!!

Was odd to havta wear a tie, so, compromised, wore a Tazmanian Devil tie heeee heeeee. Fucking suits repulse me. The meeting was divided into upstate and downstate, joined by webcam.

I did well. The prob: "Acting Director." But we shall see.

Then off to NYRR for my # and bib for Sat, then home.

Quite a busy day ;).

day 780

ouch!!!!!

Shebitch takes Stoney for a haircut, then disappears again. Good. ANOTHER peaceful evening @ home. Thank you GOD. Needed it. Was EXHAUSTED. Tons of crap going down @ work, cleaned house/many discharges. Worse yet, NONE of the staff are capable of making a decision. Thus, everything-of course-gets dumped into my lap. Not a bad thing, this IS, after all, why I get the big bucks. Yet, it DOES enable the shit outta them.

This am, vicious attack by asphalt, again. Tripped. Dif is: this time I didn't fracture my elbow. Whew!!!! AND, finished my run-got me them there miles!!!!!

Hadda RUN, not TRUDGE, as I had a big date: driving Stoney to school. LOVE that!!!!! AND, stopped @ the donut shop to pick up breakfast. :)

GREAT morning, but painful (you KNOW you have a boo-boo when the cashier @ 7-11 offers you a band aid).

Still, a terrific morning, loooove being with my boy!

suck it up, buttercup

yes, being an on again/off again single parent is tough. What exacerbates it is: you never know what role you must play on any given day. THAT'S really rough. Fortunately, the way the job works gave me practice: i.e. A half-time director, working 2 facilities=you're the acting director 1/2 the time, and need to know when to take charge and when to pull back.

What slays me, absolutely KILLS me, is It shows NO appreciation. Case in point: Stoney and I broke up the fallen tree. It actually expects me to wait forever to see if one of Its peeps wants the wood. Not "nice job on the tree," not "can't believe you guys took care of that." Instead, drones on about how this guy works and only has one day off to ___________. ????? I run a facility, am the SOLE motherfucking breadwinner, have to tolerate Its psychosis, and not even a word of recognition? Yet, praises everyone and anyone ELSE. Ahhh the good wife. Bitch.