day 847

sucked, but not as bad as it COULD'VE been.

4m in Central Park, had nothin', I mean NUTTIN'. Dead legs. The downside of a crab free diet. Actually hadda take 2 breaks, but a more perfect morning couldn't have been planned. 55 degs, sun, beautiful. And, hooked up with brotherfromanothermother. THAT was the good news. The OTHER news, Chelly bumped into us near baggage check, asked if we heard about DP's dad. Ouch, THAT sucked. Was GREAT to run into Chelly, but poor DP. Shot her a post, no answer yet.

Really puts my shit into perspective. Was feeling really low. Second Director interview, not feeling good about how the agency is jerking us off. used to be you paid your dues, you got the gig. Something dif is now in the air. Especially stings because I always knew the emperor was naked, i.e. everyone things our retired Director was great, what they didn't see was I did all the work. Well, we'll see.

Also, Shebitch calls me yesterday asking if I could take Stoney to a party. HOWTHEFUCK did It get my number. AND, Stoney didn't even wanna go!!!!!! THEN, the twat doesn't even come home last night. FUCK ME!!!!!

And Elik wonders why I couldn't go with him to Bucks Co. He doesn't understand I gotta stay local if anything arises for Stoney.

And you wonder why I took 2 walk breaks? For a shit 4m? Really hurts sometimes. I see Sue and Vince, how they support each other. I KNOW how rich my life could be, there are women I could hang with in an instant, but I'm stuck. Hurts. Really hurts.

It is what it is.

And Stoney just thinks I have a "need to be right," he just doesn't understand. AND, I'm not the cunt his mom is, I won't rip her in his presence.

God bless my friends, they have no idea how important they are.

Hope D is ok.