Day 1678

Brrrrr!

20 degs! Back to the gym. Looks like it'll be this way for a week, damn,. Good to know, though, I hadn't lost a step. Bumped into a peep on Sat who, for God knows what reason, always wants to run with me. My answer to him is always: "you run, I trudge," but that doesn't deter him. Did ok, yesterday he texted me saying I wore out the third peep among us-one of HIS buddies. High praise indeed. Makes the next few days less irksome.

Tonight, Central Park's New Year's Eve run. Always fun.

Day 1677

Good to be back!

With temps above freezing,  able to run daily. Life, again, is good! Back in the groove.

Bumped into Dennis again @ the gym, after I got my miles. We both did a class-nice. My brush with greatness. Helluva guy. It actually annoys me when peeps don't hold him in the same regard.

In the evening, went to brotherfromanothermother's mother's wake. Hadda. Sybil was-again-in rare form. Raging about ______________ whatever. does it really even matter? The queen of 12 step programs, who claimed 20+ years sober (after not two years ago drinking too much coffee to stay awake, then self medicating with sleeping pills-real sober!), the queen of religion (what exactly WOULD JEEEEEEESUS do???), raging about some trivial bullshit. Really, get a grip. And I even told It to shut up if It had nothing good to say. To no avail.

But, I got my miles AND did a Spin class. A good day!!!!!

Day 1676

Good to be flexible.

Was 29 degs when I left yesterday, headed to the gym to grab a locker and decide: run or Spin. When I got there, in God's country (Queens), it was 35, so, laced 'em up. Glad I did.

Bumped into Dennis in the gym, he ran, good. Hit AP, ran into 2 peeps, did The Line with 'em. GREAT day ensues. Funny how that worked out.

Today, Spin x 2. Gotta guard the knees. 40 degs, but can't be reckless.

Day 1675

Coin flip.

Wanna run this am, but currently 29 degs. We'll see the temps in couple'a hours. If above freezing we're on. Otherwise, Spin. Good to have options.

Day 1674

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!!!

Since 11/7, the job has been under a microscope. Yesterday was the piece de resistance: an agency building inspector. This was the fifth visit in 5 weeks by various people. Ho ho ho.

But, got my miles yesterday-despite the cold, THEN am Spin THEN pm Spin. When others slack off and overeat, I amp it up. Gotta keep that edge.

Day 1673

Whew!

Made it through Christmas unscathed. Hit the job, left the gifts for the patients, got my miles, hit a long flick, then my brothers. Hadda make up for ditching Thanksgiving, but Sybil usurped that one.

Things went well. People must be taking their meds. Not once was I told what I should be doing with my life. Am I learning, are they, or are both?

Ho ho ho.

Day 1672

Ho ho?

Come in, my shit is moved around, AGAIN. There are 4 seats at the dinner table. Guess who's is not cluttered? Of course, as with the den, what becomes the focus of attention? My shit, of course, is moved. Now remember, if I move a piece of LINT, vandalism ensues. Of course, the JEEEESUS freak does/says nothing, rather rages about my den. Amazing. THEN, It goes to midnight mass, as Stoney and his smoking bud (liked that one didya?) AGAIN move my shit, with 3 other perfectly useable spots there in plain sight. Fuck me, ho ho ho.

BUT, we had the patients' party, and of course, it was a hit!

As Stoney smokes and Sybil goes to church. Self involved are we?

Ho ho ho.

And the staff? Party on Jan 22. The Committee couldn't get its shit together. Surprise surprise.

Day 1671

Ho Ho Ho

Nothing puts me in the mood like Christmas in Rehab.

Stoney was on the couch (after I moved his bong to his room!!!), hangin' with a peep, rankin' on a homey who didn't buy his mother anything for her birthday. Let that sink in. Who bought Stoney HIS gift for Sybil? Kid's a trip. Really thinks he has it all figured out. Can't wait 'til he learns how he miscalculated.

But tonight, the Christmas spirit cannot be prevented! Despite individual dysfunction, the patients' party is on! Lovely. Purely an act of selflessness. I love this!

Day 1670

Plan B!

Headed to the site for yesterday's 5m, couldn't find it. Rule #1 of organizing anything: make it idiot proof/user friendly. Really a pain. This was validated by the eventual turnout-54 people. So, headed to my peeps @ LIRRC instead, for their Christmas 5k. Of course, all worked out. Broke 30, 9:28, came in @ 29 +. Nice.

Came in, my clockradio is on my placemat. Stoney took exception to (GASP) my moving his charger from MY den into HIS room. Ain't I a mofo? His mother sees his work, does nothing, says nothing.

Wonder what HE's getting for Christmas?

Day 1669

Did the 5k, not bad, but hadda take 2 breaks. Went out too fast, but broke 10 nonetheless. Glad.

Then off to Brooklyn to hang w/a peep. Really long time peep, had dinner, not a big deal, but total quality time. Truly lovely.

This am, Queens 5m. Gotta represent.

Day 1668

Better!

43 degs right now, 5k this am-one of those "you live on Long Island, ergo, you MUST do it" races. Nice to jump back on the horse. Only prob: so many people do it, your time is fucked. It's ok. After having Sybil decorating the the tree I bought, raging about whatever it was I ate from the fridge "...MY food..." fucking psycho, I'm ready to run. ho ho ho.

Day 1667

Brrrr!

Last day of the freeze, today should climb into the 40's-THANK GOD!!! I'm sick of not running. The ellip + Spin was good, but like the dif between jerkin' off and actual sex.

Day 1666

(can't believe it's been this long)

Supposed to warm up through the weekend. Good. 28 this am, yecch. Ellip + Spin. Manana hit the asphalt. Can't wait. 5k on the weekend, one of those "you live on Long Island thus you must" races.

Practicing w/the patients for the Christmas party. Never fails to put the spirit back in the season. Terrific people.

Day 1665

Settling.

This weekend warrior bullshit is for the birds, but what's the option? Run on ice???? Freeze? Nope, did the ellip and Spin. This am, ellip. Hey, at least I'm maintaining. As long as I keep sub 10 minute paces I'm ok.

Day 1664

23

Degrees. Gym, ellip this am, Spin tonight. Really hate this shit.

Day 1663

Grrrrr!!!!!

Fucking hate this time of year. Ain't freezin' my cojones off, so no run. Made do w/ gym-elliped. Got a good workout in, adjusted my disposition, but there's nothing like running.

Making arrangements for the patients' Christmas party. Last night, lil' after midnight, Sybil raging-I had the GALL to eat 2 packets of crackers. Imagine. Call the lawyers! AND, think nothing of waking me up @ midnight (yes, this was after coming in from an AA meeting. How sober was THAT???). Fucking loon. So, pay it forward-if you're abused, do a solid for others, hence, the patients' Christmas. I always do everything since everyone else is too fucking self involved. People just don't grasp the notion of doing something good, for good's sake.

Ho ho.

Day 1662

So-so

Bailed on the Central Park 15k yesterday, glad I did. Bitter cold + snow-shit. So, did a local 5k in Suffolk. SO local, they didn't even use bibs! Really lovely-@ a community church. The bad news? Hilly as shit and nothing in my age group-a fast peep took third! Fast age group!!! BUT, glad I did it.

Sybil, great for the afternoon, ready to (after not lifting a motherfucking finger) go out to dinner w/a groupie, tears into me. Really hurtful. This is sobriety. Enjoy. Comes back (10:30pm) cooks for Stoney. THIS is sobriety. Right.

Day 1661

Bail!!!!!

My second d.n.s. Was regged to do 15k in Central Park. First, parking will be a bitch, but that's not the issue. Weather is supposed to be fucked, so, stay on the island. Do a 5k as a speed workout, see if I can still break 10. Annoyed, but can't be foolish.

At least I slept well last night, finally. After It, again, tore me a new one. One minute we're conversing, literally in the same breath it went psycho, "this is why we need a mediator..." I actually went into the backyard with Hulk-freezing but peaceful-reentered, It was STILL raging. Fucking nut job. I WOULD get stuck with this bullshit on all fronts.

The good news? It was a delight driving Stoney to work the other day, missed actually speaking to him as opposed to his being a pissed off teenager.

Day 1660

24 FUCKING degrees, warmer in Alaska.

Run? Ha, no friggin' way. Tossed and turned all night, feet couldn't get warm. This sucks. Gotta tough it out. Spin class yesterday am, weights this am.

Day 1659

DAYS???

Supposed to be like this for DAYS, 20's temps. Fuck this, hibernate. Spin today, again.

Day 1658

Brrrrr!!!!!

Freezing, snow, then ice. No running DUH! Spin instead.

AND...WTF was I thinking??? Signed up for a 15k Saturday.

Day 1657

Called it!

All that crap about taxes? It, in a typical fit of rage, uttered "and don't think you're off the hook about the taxes. I need to show them to..." Now, how many people do you know of, who have EVERY fucking detail of their lives made public, including their taxes?

Wait until April when It finds MY taxes are done. Not "our."

Day 1656

9:26!!!

and THAT was starting dead last, WITH 2 breaks!!!!!!

DP showed up, nice. Love hangin' with her-a nice person. Brian WAS there, kept him in sight, then after half a mile passed him. Truly a nice guy, but treadmills and weight training are his mistakes. Broke 9:30!!!!! Yay!

Today, off. Good thing. Snow last night, rain this am, yecch.

Day 1655

:)

5k yesterday, went out too fast, didn't have my benchmarks (Big Bird or Brian). Turns out Brian WAS there, but I'd passed him. He goes out too fast in the first mile + his training is on the treadmill. Big mistake. But one HELL of a nice guy. Between him and seeing my man Dennis on tv in an interview, got the support I needed to do ok. STILL, without my benchmarks I couldn't pace myself and hadda take breaks. Whatever. I broke 10, pushing 9:30.

Today, the other half of the weekend silly series-pancake run. Did this one for years, back when Stoney was still loveable.

Day 1654

Weekend warrior.

With the week the way it is, and cold temps, running daily isn't an option, so, run when it's over 35, and Spin otherwise. Weekends, race. This way I save my knees and can maintain progress. Miss running daily, but gotta preserve the machine.

It? Useless. Cleaning the living room. What do I find on the side of the couch? Stoney's bong. Lovely. Best of all, It's comment "oh, I see it all the time." And HOW many years sobriety does it claim to have? And did It say ANYTHING to him? Of course not. This is better than cleaning others' houses while yours wallows in filth. Useless bitch.

Fuck me.

Today, 5k, work that speed, keep that sanity.

Day 1653

Grey  ;(

But not entirely bad. A rest day sometimes can't totally suck.

Fridays off, Mondays also-when possible. Still, I'll lose vacation time, but it's ok. the cost of being b.m.o.c. Catch a flick, have some chill time before the weekend's 5k's. Silly season, not marathon training, but time to see if I can maintain sub 10 pace. Doing well so far, except for that cluster fuck xc. Still, I'm healthy, people remark that I look like I lost weight, I'm good.

Day 1652

TGIT

Had the last bored meeting of my tenure last night. Went well, peeps actually expressed interest in the half. Nice. Brotherfromanothermother was there, poor guy. Not running, Not good.

Last day of my abbreviated work week, a very good thing, though with the crackberry I really don't have any time off.

Day 1651

TOLD ya' so!

So, after all that Psycho shit about needing the taxes, it wasn't needed AT ALL. All the student loan shit is in process. BIG surprise!!!!! REAL sober behavior there Avon Lady! Make sure your friends all know that!!!!!

Now remember, It took a computer course. Yet, did It lift a finger to help Stoney with the processing? No, easier to shirk responsibility (sensing a pattern here???) by raging @ me for the taxes-which weren't needed AT ALL. Literally SCREAMING @ me.

Best of all, It has a bad habit of writing It's memoirs all over, literally, there are 5-10 different journals begun, left haphazardly everywhere. One entry involved letting go of anger (???!!!) and not being so anal regarding cleaning (????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), like It EVER cleaned????????????? Really has a separate life in Its own head. Go teach religion, THEY need your crap.

***Meanwhile, It has $1,851 in the bank, how much oil would THAT purchase??? But no, scream @ me. Rage in front of our son about how useless I am (WHO pays all the bills???).

Rah rah Jesus!

Day 1650

Nice one!

Actually had a nice day off, sorta. Hadda avoid Toxichouse like the plague-It was home, clothes again all over the place. Like an episode of Hoarders. No joke. Couldn't even lie down and take a nap. It's comment: "no one uses that bed." AHEM????? It truly lives in its own world.

But, got my miles, hit the gym, caught a flick, read my book. I'm good.

Day 1649

Psycho Bitch.

RUNS upstairs as I'm dozing to rage about...(wait for it...) A-1!!! Imagine, ain't I a mofo? Actually used some steak sauce. Call out the hounds! Release The Kraken!!!!! Fuckin' nut. THIS after coming in from a meeting. 27 years sober? After drinking coffee to complete Avon (remember THAT? ANOTHER failed attempt-not before putting us all through hell) orders, THEN sleeping pills to sleep. Poor victim.

So, did the 5k xc Trail Relay yesterday and, actually broke 10! Nice!!!!!   In THIS trail run, lots of single file, even took a spill, yet still met my goal. The others on the team were behind me-save for Rob-fast mofo. My injury appears over. :)

Day 1648

:(

Did the 5k yesterday, a xc run, only because it was intended as a tune up for this am's 5k. What a clusterfuck. There was a clock @ the 3m split, making you think it was the finish! Would'a broken 10m but I walked after I THOUGHT I was done. DAMN. Still, 1 minute over my average pace is good for hilly xc.

Then in the evening,  concert @ The Paramount. People next to me WOULD NOT SHUT UP. Made for quite an unpleasant evening. But, got through the day. Got in a run, a shit run, but miles nonetheless. Sybil behaving. Odd.

Day 1647

Foreplay

Did a 4k yesterday, a "Run Your Turkey Off" 2.5m. Nice people, flat fast course, did really well (9:12, one break). Hung with Deb. Balanced out well. Saw Anita, wished her a good morning, not even a fart. Amazing. Her loss. another "friend."

Deb remarked how "Mr.Social" knew so many people. running has indeed been very good to me!

"Foreplay" because 2.5m is really a drop in the bucket.

Day 1646

TGIO

Thank God it's over.

Thanksgiving was rough. After walking in Wed, Stoney pissed, Sybil waking me up to rage @ me, didn't intend to be anywhere NEAR either on Thanksgiving. Sad but true. So, made it through the day with help from my peeps. Bumped into Dennis first thing in the a.m., to be called an "animal" by him is high praise indeed! Then Petra and Janet. Nice.

Did the Thanksgiving 5k, broke 10m, one break. Happy for that, but wanna break 30. Still, gotta stay intact for Sunday's relay w/ the peeps, this is no time to get hurt.

This am, the 4k, Run your Turkey off. what turkey?

Holidays are tough.

Day 1645

$1,851

Found a receipt of what It has in the bank. and IT comes back from yet another AA meeting RAGING about no oil heat???????????????????? Way to stay sober Bitch. Almost 2k in the bank and bitch about ME??????????????????????????????

So, Happy Thanksgiving. fuck it. I'm running.

Day 1644

One more day

Until Sybil and Stoney hang with my family. funny, it used to go hang with Its make believe friends/family-odd how that died isn't it, like everything else in Its life. Can't shirk responsibility forever can you?

The irony will be of course: I'll be nowhere near them. I have zero desire to be with the remains of a female who blames me for everything, and a son who has been turned against me.

It is what it is.

Day 1643

Brrrrrr!

Came in last eve, notes everywhere: "don't touch the electric heaters, buy oil..."

Showed the guys @ work Stoney's notes, they can't believe 1)he's still alive   2)Sybil allowed it. They were incredulous. THIS IS the shit I live with.

A useless person who neither contributes to the daily housework, nor contributes to the bills-yet demands $$$. A son who hates me and thinks HE actually has a say in the way the house works. Lovely.

Woke up this am, fuses blown, even the electric heaters don't work. Good. fuck 'em both.

He works, pay rent. Does HE even lift a finger (I want a doggy???) nope. All on me.

Hope they enjoy my family for thanksgiving.

And remember, It celebrated Its AA anniversary (THIS is sober living???) multiple times. Pathetic. When you don't have a life, 55 with multiple failed careers, useless as a wife, useless as a mother, useless as a parent........

Day 1642

No way

TRIED Long Beach, but after hitting every 7-11 and 24 hour pharmacy, not ONE had Hot Hands. So, picked up my shirt and bib and went to the gym. Spin and STS. New rule: sub freezing, stay in.

Day 1641

Yin/Yang

Yin: did the autism 4m. Ran into DP. Nice This USED to be a big AP race, but as people go their separate ways....... was great, as usual, hangin' with her.

Drove by toxic house, enough to see another toxic note from Stoney (I ate 2 eggs, imagine, in retribution he threatened to trash the den. Good. It WILL result in arrest. Who exactly does he think pays the mortgage? And of course there's the oil thing? Hey, pay rent Stoner!). And again, what does JEEEEESUS' ambassador do? Nothing. Great parenting.

Caught Hunger Games- eh. Even Imax didn't keep me from snoring. But it DID fill in nicely between the sting of Stoney being totally disrespectful and Sybil doing nothing. While on line Lisa said hi, same flick, same place. How cool was that. And the concert was AMAZING!!!!! Pic below.

This am, 10k in Long Beach. 25 degs right now. FUCK!!!!!

Day 1640

400m

Closer to the finish.

Usually a 3 day survey turned into a 4 day-HQ has us under a radar. no prob. again, I believe we work for the best agency, whose staff do their jobs well, so, look all you want.

Again, it WOULD be nice to come home to a welcoming environment, but we know all about that. Stoney leaves a note "eat a dick," does Sybil do anything? Of course not. Teach religion but don't correct your son.

4m this am, thank GOD!!!!!!!!!

Day 1639

800m

Had the visit from BIG Boss yesterday, did well. Put it this way: it was a relief. He asked some questions, it was obvious he was on a mission-sent by the agency chief. So, after all the drama that happened on site, we did ok. More proof that: when you do the right thing, you have nothing to hide.

The downside? No miles since Monday. No gym either. Ugh! BUT, wouldn't have either if I didn't have a gig. And a great one @ that!

What hurt:  came in, told Sybil in plain English what was happening, It STILL hadda be a total Bitch when I needed a helping hand, or at worst, a shut mouth. That was the day It went psycho avout "eating my food......" real family talk. What would JEEEEEESUS do? Go teach religion. Setting a great example for Stoney who witnesses the satanization of his father.

Damn I need to run!!!!!

Couldn't even go to Spin class.

Day 1638

Pile on!!!!!

Agency surveyor shows up, unannounced (that's normal), to review the place. My boss calls asking questions from above, and this am, the boss's boss coming in. Add to this, NUMEROUS psychotic noted taped to the kitchen cabinets. surprise, it's winter. This appears to be a new concept for Sybil. So of course It's losing It's mind, "I have no money for food," (stop buying Chinese restaurant takeout and...COOK???), "You have to give me $ for oil, with all your money..." Really living in la la land. Of course I gave my stock answer: "just tell me which bill to stop paying. I'd be MORE than happy to stop paying either the mortgage or cable." You don't wanna hear the response. Common sense would dictate: stop pissing money away on shit, put a bit aside every month, poof, oil money. No, easier to rage @ me. Involves no responsibility you see.

Just gotta man up for a couple-a days.

Still, would be nice to come home to support rather than revulsion.

29 degs. Running? No friggin' way.

Day 1637

Brrr!

Yesterday was sweatshirt and shorts weather, today it's ellip weather. Friggin' cold. Of course it IS Wednesday, which means Sons of Anarchy was on, which means I was up way too late. Sorry ass is draggin', so, with a buttload of meetings, gotta gym it. Good. stay warm (er).

Lost my friggin' car keys. Add this to Stoney sick for 2 days and Sybil being Sybil, and I come home to the "you're a piece of shit-a-thon." Joy joy. He's had nothing to do but lay around, smoke, and wait for me to come in so I can be blamed for his lack of progress re: a student loan (It IS November????? Most normal people apply in July). and of course Sybil is useless-other than pile on me. Funny, how It can't help him with the loan application-oh wait-the world revolves around Satan. and of course, THAT would involve some level of responsibility. Easier to blame me.

Might lace 'em up anyway....................Freezing's preferable...................

Day 1636

Nice surprise


Was actually excited to see my peep again. We had lunch across from the Barclays Center-mofongo w/café con leche-a real Puerto Rican meal. Time passed effortlessly. Nothing had changed. Quite a treat.

Started on the right foot. Was raining yesterday am, touched base on the unit to nail things down, then the rain stopped. Got my run in. Later than usual, but no matter. Set the groundwork for a terrific day. Well done God!

Day 1635

Veni, vidi.....

So, last day of a 4 day weekend, sorta. Taking Fridays and Mondays off, but I'm always "around."

Raining, a lot. Of course this pm the sun is supposed to come out. Too late for a run. Might hit the gym, we'll see. Supposed to meet Marciana-either a very good or very bad day for it, either way, always a delight.

Actually a good thing it's raining, after the 5k really SHOULD take a day off.

Did well, broke 10. My benchmark came in 30 sec behind me. He always goes out too fast. Does all this training @ the gym, treadmill. Needs to hit the asphalt. REALLY a nice guy, when he points to me and says "beat ya" it all in good fun.

Day 1634

Deja Vu

Enjoyed Styx so much, went back for more. On a lark, checked tix availability, first row was open! Wow!!!!!!! Went with my peeps and their grandkids, had a blast!!!!!!!! AND, finally understood why they weren't boring: the lead singer. A real attention whore, but NOT Dennis DeYoung-an ego driven asshole who thought the world revolved around him. Again, you could tell they enjoyed playing live AND together. Likewise, threw in a few wrinkles to keep things interesting: Piano Man and I am the Walrus, to the deletion of Pieces of Eight unfortunately-I really love that one. Another very good night!

Yesterday am, Spin. Was raining when I split, of course-following Murphy's law-after I left the gym the sun was out. Bumped into Dennis, compared notes, a kindred spirit though on SO many levels we don't operate nowhere near the same planes. Nice, though, to recognize the commonality.

Little 5k this am to stay in the groove.

Day 1633

NICE!

Got my miles in yesterday am. It's one of those "use it or lose it" deals-Mondays and Fridays off. So, the last time I did this, the more dysfunctional peeps went nuts. Now things appear to have settled. Not TOO many issues.

Then last night, Styx. Saw 'em YEARS ago @ MSG, fell asleep. They were GREAT! Something within them arose, and you can tell they actually enjoy playing live. Thank God! GREAT seats-8th row, pics below.

Day 1632

Off/Not off

Was supposed to be taking Fridays and Mondays off-too many hours. BUT, with everything hitting the fan....... so, do the invisible thing. Be @ the job, but in the background.

40 degs this am, perfect, get out and get some miles. Tonight, Styx @ Westbury. Perfect day!

Day 1631

TGIT

Tough week, all sorts of shit hittin' the fan all around...but note..."all around." There's ALOT to be said for doing the right thing. No looking over your shoulder, no need to.

This am, got my miles, then Spin. Hadda make up for yesterday!

Day 1630

:)

Last night, Dave Davies @ City Winery. amazing week: Eagles, Dave Davies, next: Styx. The Geritol Tour. If they're alive, they're playin'. LOVE to see any of today's bands do that!!!!! Last over 30 years, much less 30 minutes.

Actually too cold to run-29. After running in shorts, THIS is too cold. Gotta acclimate. Went to Spin instead, as it was raining. Perfect  :).

Day 1629

Day 4

My boss came to the unit to review the video, no big deal, we did our job, except for one. Glad for the visit, when you do the right thing, you have nothing to worry about. Of course I still have no response re: when my laptop will be returned. This is beyond obscene, THEN I get queried re: "why didn't you answer....?"

BUT, yesterday I ran. Nice.

Day 1628

Back in the sddle.

So, it's been a week, time to lace 'em up again. 45 degs this am, crisp, cool. Perfect weather. Felt odd not running, but Spin + Pilates instead.

Considering everything that's going on, not a moment too soon!!!!!

And no, laptop STILL not returned. 3 days now. Amazing. And of course now it's being spun as though I'm the fuckup.

Day 1627

In the City!

Eagles concert last night @ MSG. They really spruced up the place, but times have changed. I moved up a few rows-unused seats, no one sat there for the whole show-got chased out. Really unnecessary.

But, the Eagles were great, even gave a nod to Poco. and yes, as usual Joe Walsh was the man. It DID seem that this was the "make alotta money" tour, but it IS for all of 'em, isn't it? Joe actually is the single animated one.

And no, my computer hasn't been returned.

Day 1626

Amazing.

Thought I'd seen the last of one asshole on the job, it returned yesterday to investigate the patient death. Best of all, it took my laptop! Why this asshole was even allowed into my office is an issue that's gonna make some heads roll.

Day 1625

First time for everything

Yesterday, 2 incidents, second bad.

First time in my career we had a patient die. Big guy, 300+, I'd been speaking with him a few minutes earlier, next thing, he's on the ground receiving cpr, nonresponsive. Damn.

Really validated alotta my beliefs: gotta make the most of the moment, all you got is now.

His parents: upset of course. He was only 23-with a history of overdose. Unfortunately, this DOES happen in rehab. Sucks, but it happens.

I come in and shebitch goes psycho over the vacuum. Useless Bitch. Really. Not even wondering how my day went. Long Island suburban clueless Bitch.

Day 1624

Got it!!!

The club decided to get green bracelets, to give to they that completed a marathon. Last time, my time was unofficial as I wasn't wearing a bib (thanks Hank), so, never got one. Been 3 years in the making, but last night got it! Was actually looking forward to this more than the medal!

Last night was the next to the last meeting for me as prez x 2. You've no idea how I loathe these meetings. Looking forward to having my time back.

Day 1623

OUCH!

Worst part of running a marathon: resting. It's really like the day after Christmas. Problem is: withdrawl. So, did the Spin class last night. hadda do SOMETHING.

One blister, not bad all things considered, problem is: blood blister. Still, a small price to pay.

Day 1622

Back!

9:45pm last night, sleeping when...WHEN...attack of Shebitch! It'd left the house, we're on speaking terms, comes in, PURE HELL. Making noise, waking me up to rage about not getting a copy of the taxes I have done every year. The presenting problem was........wait for it..........) I'd actually put veggies in the crisper in the fridge. Imagine! Call out the hounds. Fucking nut job. best of all, Stoney's sitting there, adding to it. Great. I'm accountable to a teenager. Pay rent Stoner. He has a job, what does he do (besides smoke) buys a pimp coat. And the idiot lets him. THIS is a sober person? THIS is a religion teacher. What would Jeeeeeesus do bitch???????

Amazing.

And you wonder why I was in no particular rush for The Big One. Come home to this?

A son who loathes his father and that son's nine month vessel who is actively psychotic.

You can pick your friends....................

Day 1621

Finished, barely.

Knowing the Toxichouse front, and the fact that the bus from Runner's Edge wasn't leaving until 5:30, I didn't kill myself. Did well for the first half, then took half on/half off breaks-45 secs run/30 secs walk. Knees held up, but after doing 6.5-10 daily, when your knees can't handle a long run, this is what happens. I'm happy, not thrilled with my time, but happy to have finished. Especially after last year.

Temps were perfect, barely broke a sweat. You know that sheen of salt that covers you after, nope, not this time. Between putting on and taking off my jacket, I was busy for the first half, @ 14 I gave it to The Striders. Underneath I had a base layer long sleeve and Strider overshirt.

Stoney? Not a word. Shebitch, asked about my time, that's the only utterance.

When people asked how I did, my answer was "Bitch is home, why should I hurry?"

Wish I was joking.

Listening to the peeps on the bus taking with their loved ones hurt, but my peeps are there, just not where I sleep. Shitload of calls and posts. Support was there thank God. AND, my NYRR peeps were there. Even with 50,000+, ran into 'em!

Day 1620

It's here!

The day we've been waiting for, for 2 years. Now let's hope I do ok.

Not easy, really feeling odd, but a good odd. Not like I haven't been through this before.

Right now, temps @ 51. Nice. Supposed to be a low of 39, with first 20m into a headwind. We'll see. Anything BUT rain.

Day 1619

24 hours

And counting!

Had the Big One dinner w/the peeps yesterday, always fun. Brotherfromanothermother? Off the grid. Pity. But we had fun and it went well, no Hank-thank you GOD.

Now let's cross our fingers and toes for manana, and try not to move too much today.

Day 1618

Couple'a days!

Last run yesterday am, then hit the job for a few hours, then the expo. Felt good to be back on track. Bumped into a couple'a peeps-unplanned but terrific. Then caught a flick, then in for the night.

Stoney? Still breakin' my balls for the urine he bought. Imagine?

Day 1617

No, Virginia, you CAN'T make this stuff up.

Come in yesterday, Stoney room reeks. He's been using the greyhound style toilet in his room to smoke, but that wasn't the point. what's sitting atop his top drawer, a bag w/weed. Bold ain't he. That's not what irks me, what gets me is the absolute disrespect for the house. But fuckit, that's what he wants, live in a shithole. His useless mother is the part that kills me. Teach religion, how many abortions you have? 12 step the northeast, what've you done re: your son's abusing an illegal substance IN YOUR HOME? But, I'm Satan.

Wake up, a note taped to the fridge, "don't touch the food I bought," the fridge is stocked w/cold cuts." Not "I know you have The Big One Sunday," or anything vaguely encouraging.

It isn't 26.2 miles, it's hours of peace from useless Bitch.

Day 1616

4 days, 2 runs to go.

Manana pm rain predicted, otherwise it's been smooth.

Did a spin class last night to stay outta Toxichouse until necessary, Tuesday nights are Sons of Anarchy nights-so gotta stay up late.

The Line this am and tomorrow, the expo, rest, then, THEN.....

Day 1615

Close.

5 more days until The Big One. If conditions match those of these few days, perfect. Crisp in the early am, then much nicer-65 ish. Cool, not cold.

2 more days of The Line-after today, then dinner w/ the peeps, then a rest day., then...THEN...unless a superstorm hits.

Day 1614

:)

Felt I did ok yesterday, Central Park 5m/only walked twice through water stops, knees held up. Checked the results: BROKE 10 MINUTES!!!!!!! Nice. AND, was in the 51%. Nice to know I can do it when I need to.

Then, back to Toxichouse. It went out to dinner w/Stoney. No $ for oil, but it took my brother and his wife, with Stoney, out to dinner. Did It tell me? convenient of me to have family when It needs them isn't it? Sure beats cooking.

Bitch.

Day 1613

Didn't suck.

5m in Central Park, the start of Marathon Week. Felt good. Walked through 2 water stops, but otherwise did well. Ran strong. No gels, 2 bananas-my new standard.

Felt actually...what's the word...GOOD?

Day 1612

This has been a VERY cool couple'a days away from Toxichouse. Remember: Saturday is "I'm calling the lawyer, I'm going to the judge, I'm taking you to court..." so I-unfortunately-must be away. Really ups my bottom line costs (could actually easily pay for oil, IF I had even a vaguely welcoming domicile). Instead, untold expenses are wasted on these weekends. Oh well.

Set out for a 5k in Baldwin, but was not to be. Got hopelessly lost. So, doubled back and did The Line. Glad I did. 3.1 miles vs. 6.5? No brainer. And with The Big One in a week, no time to fuck around.

Would be soooooo  nice to have a decent home, rather than the kinda place you must spend every penny to avoid. Bitch doesn't even see this. Ask when it last cleaned? When I was in Albany, did anyone pick up the dogshit? But of course I was called on the carpet re: my whereabouts.

I'd love nothing better than to come in and chill, but since Stoney sees fit to invade my privacy, and Bitch does all It can to render the place unliveable, best to avoid.

I run therefore I am.

*****And another area of concern. Here I am, top of my career. Am I allowed to enjoy any of it? Is there any household pride in the professional who went from blacklisted to boss. No, rather, my son tells his mother everything I typed in chat rooms. If Bitch were useful would I need chat rooms????? But It never ceases to take my inventory. Nice to be so perfect.

Day 1611

Drive by.

Away for 3 days, touch base, then away for 2. Perfect.

Bitch lost, it, calling my brother wondering where I went.......moron. As if he knew?

Did It tell me of its plans to go to Aruba, with my son??? Yet pleads poverty?

Day 1610

:)

Had a GREAT run yesterday pm. Miss my morning routine, but, we must be flexible. In addition, since my hills aren't here, got some ellip time in. Looked down, there's a pool-no one in it......sooooooooooo got in some swim time. Felt like a child again.

Unfortunately, turn into a pumpkin later. The drive back into nyc is always a 'roid, but, must enjoy the time one has when one has it.

Day 1609

3 day conference=3 days of peace.

Uberbitch came in the night before I left, WOKE ME UP. Really, thinks nothing of awakening a sleeping person. Yet, I get reamed for being noisy in the am. Funny thing is: when It wants to know whether I was in or not, it hasta ask Stoney. Guess I'm not THAT noisy???????

Nice to be actually able to...what's the word......SLEEP UNDISTURBED.

Day 1608

Doing ok.

After sunday night, Sybil raging, really mean unkind unforgiveable things coming out of Its mouth, after a day, I'm ok.

Worst part was: if its friends or fellow religion assholes could see Its behavior, It'd be banished. But fuckit, God knows wassup.

Less than 2 weeks to go and The Big One will be upon us. I'm psyched. Thank God I have important things. Sucks that my own son rues the sight of me, has been turned against me, but this is typical. I'm bad cop. hurts way more than you will ever know (I hope.). No one should feel this pain, but it is what it is. I must be true, one of us must be a parent. Imagine: He demands reimbursement for the $$$ he spent to buy someone else's urine, and It backs him up? As he leaves evidence/ashes in the sink???????

Thank GOD I can run.

Day 1607

Home IS where the hurt is

Spent a terrific weekend AWAY from Stoney and Uberbitch, but eventually, gotta come back. @ first all was well, Stoney asked if I took his bottle of urine, and Bitch said nothing. He admitted paying someone for it, and wanted reimbursement. Yes, this is not fiction.

Uberbitch comes back from mass, then all hell broke loose (THIS is what Jesus would do?). Take me to court...will come to my job and embarrass me (no worries, they know It's a Bitch)...all in front of Stoney, who-of course-piles on. And they actually think this helps?

And yes, I'd call Safety and have It carted away.

Day 1606

Nice little getaway!

Did the Oysterfest 5k, then stayed in Queens. Nice lil' overnighter. Looong hill for the first mile, plus, hadda take a piss break, so my time was off. But it's ok. This am is a multiloop 2.3 miler. I'm aiming for 3 loops, at least. If I can do that I'll have met my goal. Don't wanna get injured before The Big One, and, with this week's sched up in the air, wanna be careful.

Day 1605

What was he thinking???

The good news: Stoney applied for a gig @ Target.

the bad news: see above.

What's bad about it? The urine test. THC stays in the system for over a month, so think, how would he pass the urine test? Well, guess what I found in the fridge? A bottle of someone else's. And best of all, his idiot mother didn't even see it.

...but I'm Satan.

Day 1604

Bros before ho's

Got a phone call  from Pedrito, worked good, we talked. How cool was it to actually speak unfiltered? No Angela or SuperBitch in the way?

Turns out, of course, he knew nothing of what was ACTUALLY going on. Didn't know Stoney was still smoking daily, not working, that The SuperBitch bought him a car, yet cried poverty while threatening to take me to court. surprise surprise.

So yes, got my miles. Beat the rain fortunately.

Still, sucks to come in after working hard to face a psycho and a son who's been turned against you on total bullshit. But at least Pedrito knows how psycho the Bitch is. Why the fuck he listens to it is anyone's guess.

And best of all, he knew nothing of the Uber Bitch taking Stoney shopping. Great to spend $$$ on someone else's dime isn't it? Wonder where the weed $$$ comes from?


...but I'm Satan.

Got oil?

Day 1603

End is in sight!

Was considered for a Microsoft shoot today, didn't get the gig, but that isn't the point. Just to be considered is a big deal. The fat kid who couldn't do a lap around the gym is doing a marathon in 2 weeks, and was considered for a modeling gig. Running been good to me!

This am, try to beat the rain, get my miles then maybe spin.

Day 1602

Crazy bitch

Come in, Stoney's home, asking about "do you have a copy of your taxes." Of course it's Uberbitch behind it. Wait until I do my own, as opposed to "The household" taxes this time. let the Psycho fend for Itself. all It's looking to do is spoil for a fight, as though I'm hiding untold millions. Add to this, the "are you giving me $ for oil." Sure, lemme print some more cash. Try NOT BUYING CRAP, that you then will havta try to sell @ a garage sale-but no one will buy because ITS CRAP.

Intermittent explosive personality disorder. In other words: CRAZY BITCH.

But, I ran, I'm good.

Just to settle myself before going to Toxichouse, did a spin class yesterday eve. Felt like coming home. the instructor even said she felt like I'd abandoned her. We ARE a funny lot.

But unfortunately, hadda come back to Toxichouse.

Day 1601

You really can't make this stuff up.

We have a dresser in the bedroom, of which I had a drawer. Note: "had." Yes, UberBitch strikes again. In that drawer I had vintage shirts, a Ramones shirt, a shirt from a rock n' roll shop in the village that's no long gone. Well, the contents of the drawer are now long gone. Fucking psycho.

Pay the bills, do as you're told, but you're not entitled to one fucking drawer.

Enjoy winter.

Day 1600

(Been a long time)

Made it through Staten Island with good memories. Can't believe saw Dim Sum Peep AND Dennis Walcott. Amazing. Not as good as Grete's-4 minutes slower-and-for this one I could feel I ran outta gas after 6.5, but, I finished. Good thing I didn't plan the double-St.Stan's @ 1 pm. Would'a been in that neighborhood a half hour too late.

A good training run, a nice way to spend what turned out to be a beautiful day.

Day 1599

Done!

Serious misgivings re; today's 1/2. If it was raining or parking was a hassle, was prepped to bail. Other races. But, this would complete the 5 borough series, and, was preregged. So, did it.

Glad I did.

Helped to know the logistics beforehand though. There usually is parking @ the stadium, not today-there was a big S.I. day thing hap'nin' there, so use the adjoining lots. In addition, you hadda be ready to sit forever after. I didn't leave the parking lot 'til 12:30. Staten island is ALWAYS a pain in the ass-either one lane getting off the island, or some other 'roid. But again, glad I did it. Lost steam after 6.5 miles, but I did ok. Also, my predawn Dim Sum peep was there-we're never alone. AND, 1200 metres from the finish, Dennis Walcott! Bastard came in @ 1:48. Scary dude.

While waiting in the parking lot, some Long Island usual suspects said hi! Really, never ever alone. just don't expect to get out quick.

All in all, no rain, I'm good.

*Pic of the medal below.

Day 1598

5k this am, @ my second home. Not a bad thing; w/manana's 1/2, today really should be a rest day. So, a 5k's the next best thing. Worked out. Rain had been predicted from yesterday through tomorrow. Thus far, nothing. So, got my miles yesterday, this am's 5k is a go, and manana's 1/2 looks dry. Was half hoping to bail on manana's race, Staten Island suuuuuuuuuucks, but, need the miles.

Day 1597

Made it!!!!!

Another week under our belt! And best (so far), no rain! Might get my miles in dry.

Manana, 5k @ the Y. Nice. Reminds me of the old days when we were a cohesive group. Then Sunday, if it doesn't rain, a 1/2. The worst one-Staten Island. But, to you it's a 1/2, to me, 4 hours of peace away from Bitch. AND, a medal! Plan B, the 10k in Bed Stuy.

Day 1596

Better!

After doing 86th w/Pret, was concerned pace would suffer. All worked out. Makes sense really. 6.5-10 with rolling hills, alternating with 5 flat @ a faster pace. Felt good.

And until now, rain held off. Good. Next couple'a days will be dicey. This is why we get miles while we can!

Bitch breaking my balls for taxes. Next year, I'll have mine done solo. This is what I get for taking care of them for years. Can't wait to see Its reaction when It realizes It'll havta pay. Imagine having nothing taken out/no deductions. That was fine as long as I did them. Satan's finished being used.

Day 1595

Didn't suck

Did 86th ave w/Pret, not bad. Really should'a been a rest day after doing a half, but if you treat the half as a training run, it's just another day. Thus, rather than 6.5 with rolling hills, did 5 flat @ race pace. Pret's injury pace is my race pace, so it worked out. And, since I'd been doing The Line daily, mixing it up doesn't suck either.

Not bad, just gotta go with the flow!

Come in, in Tupperware is the remainder of my birthday cake, with a stickit note marked "keith's." Amazing, you really can't make this shit up.

Day 1594

What goes around...

Got a text from Pret, didn't fall off the earth I guess, gonna lace 'em up this am for old times sake.

Actually got my miles in yesterday, rain was predicted, it didn't hit until evening. Good. Really should'a taken a day off after the 1/2, but if I really treated the 1/2 as a training run, the break isn't necessary. Plus, going short (er) with Pret, it evens out.

Day 1593

Happy Birthday!

54 years old. Come in, I'd hung my marathon bibs in the kitchen, gone. Figures. An actual accomplishment, in the garbage. As he sits and stays high, and It lifts not a finger. But It has the closet. Friggin' psycho. I can move my stuff, but It'll still be nuts. Good thing it teaches religion (?).

Did the half, great way to celebrate a birthday. Did well for the first 6.5, then well...suffice to say I didn't break 2 hours (my dream). Yes, hadda take walk breaks, but yes, I also was in the 50%. Nice.

Later in the evening, a birthday cake and stratch off tickets. I was touched and surprised.

Day 1592

Not a bad way to age

Did a 5k In Flushing Meadows. Just an excuse to NOT take a day off before today's 1/2. And, since it was Queens, hadda do it. Turns out, was a small local race, with Curtis! Nice.

Now, I WAS concerned. Could I break 30, while taking it easy enough to not get injured (remember, 2 short years ago I couldn't do Flushing Meadows without walk breaks. Hell, a month ago I couldn't do shit without a walk break.). So, intended to just go out and have fun.

I won my age group!!!!! Last race as a 53 year old, came in second, 28 minutes, 9:05 pace. NIIIICE!!!!

But wait, there's more!!!

Got a call from the peeps: Birthday Dinner this afternoon. Nice!

Day 1591

Pure total bitch

WAS Saturdays-when BitchTwat used to go mental, now apparently it's Friday too (is THIS how one mentally decays? The psycho days increase?). I come in, first asked a lame question about a pan-that was the setup, then taxes? Oil? "give me $$$" "None of my friends....." Twat.

But wait, I have an answer. This year, get my solo taxes done. This way, if It wants a copy of the taxes, It can use Its own! PLUS, PAY YOUR OWN FUCKING TAXES. Remember, since we filed jointly last year, I paid for It!!!!! It has ZERO deductions from Its check. Loves to screw me.

Now let that sink in. It never said "I have paper to fill out for Keith's college." Rather "I need a copy of your taxes." Right. Then get them done yourself.

I guess that was Its way of thanking me for paying.

This from the person who sits in the backyard sunning (after surviving cancer, get SUN?????), in the midst of dogshit which you will never pick up, from a dog you never walk. But focus on what your psychotic brain told you I needed to give up.

Right.

All this for a healthy 18 year old who never worked, for whom a month and a half salary would pay tuition. Better to take him shopping on someone else's dime.

Right.

Day 1590

Because I can

Yesterday, ass draggin'. REALLY didn't wanna lace 'em up. But I did, got my miles. Good. When it's nice out and you're fed and rested, easy to go for a run. When your ass is draggin'...THAT'S when you see what you're made of. Got my miles. Good.


....and thereafter, the day went well. Odd that.   ;)

Day 1589

Jeeeez!

PAINFUL club meeting yesterday.

Anytime we gather to discuss race proceeds, it SUCKS. Last night was no dif. Only wrinkle: people walked out, as in: they knew what the meeting was about, then (bored members included) decided to be selfish and boogie. Assholes. Best of all: each asshole who boogied no longer runs.

Ahem, this IS a running club.

So yes, got my miles. Kept me sane.

Day 1588

Payday!

Second payment on Stoney's tuition due. Now, remember: Sybil freaked (as usual, leaving everything until late) re: his tuition, called my bro. Now also remember, who said-since Stoney was an embryo "save half, spend half," and the response I got? So, Sybil CHARGED the first tuition installment (remember Keith, if YOU can see anything I do online, anything anyone ELSE does can also be seen). It charges HIS tuition, as he has $ my bro gave him, which in a little over a month has seen $2,000 vanish. Expensive habits. The one $81 book purchased remains on the dining room table. Not even mentioning the kindness of my bro paying for his smoke. Well done.

...but I'm Satan.

A perfectly healthy male not working, living off others due to his enabler. Nice deal.

So, yes, got my miles. Freedom felt good.

And no, neither of them gives a fuck about me, and it's ok. they reap what they sow.

Day 1587

????????????

Sybil breaking my balls for tax papers (funny, I paid taxes on ITS income, and yet MY balls get broken. AND, who does the taxes???) It finally noticed (2nd week in September) that it was past time to get Stoney's financial aid papers submitted. So, naturally, everything MUST hinge on me, Satan. Of course, it could all be done online-remember Its computer classes? Really paid off didn't it (anything to NOT lift a finger in the house). So, here he is October 1, nothing going on. No job, no loan, nothing. Best of all, he has $3,000 in the bank. Started as $5,000 (Yes, Keith, if you can see all I do online, guess what, so can I), my brother was a great enabler. No job, no savings, yet smokes daily, and best yet: Bitch takes him shopping. But my tax forms are the center of attention. right.

Dumbass forgot my tax guy is in Vermont until April.

God forbid Stoney actually gets a job.

So, with this season upon us, temps are amazing. REALLY nice to run well and not sweat. starting to get back into form. Doesn't suck at all!

And yes, piles of Its crap ALL OVER still. 3 weeks now. Can barely see out the bedroom window.

Pig.

Day 1586

Didn't suck

Remember the Bronx 1/2 years ago, back in the "chip" days? Got so frustrated finding parking I gave my chip to a runner to return and drove back to AP to get a run in, totally ditched the race? Things have improved. Unfortunately, no longer a half. Also unfortunately, no more medals. BUT, parking is easy. They opened the Stadium garages ($$$) AND, since they changed the start location, I always found street parking. A sign.

A sign of what? Things to come.

I did very well. Actually broke 10 minutes. See what happens when you run daily??? Persistence paid off. No walk breaks-a miracle unto itself, and the training paid.

Also, 2 bananas before the race. My new thing.

Day 1585

Big, but not insurmountable

(parking will be the biggest hassle)

Bronx 10m this am. Parking always sucks.

Day 1584

!

Helluva week, really busy, but felt good. Nice to have purpose.

Since long ago, always had in my mind A Plan. Started with the state @ entry level, worked my way up. Ate alotta crow, but knew dues hadda be paid. Now I'm boss. I try to avoid the pitfalls of my role models, and have been successful, so far. Hurts, though, when you havta discipline a former peep, but it comes with the job. and truth be told, was never really a peep, but a groupie. Comes with the turf.

Tonight was s'posed to go to a concert with a bud, but we had a falling out (I actually had the balls to go to a concert without them, can you imagine???). Nice to have my freedom back, now I'll be able to properly rest for manana's 10m.

Day 1583

Almost Dead

Saw Robert Hunter last night @The Paramount. No opening act, just him, a stool, and a guitar. Lovely. AND, before the concert, Marciana!!!!! A woman who actually did something with her life: recently battled cancer (AND didn't make it into an opportunity to make it a career!), and is loving life. As if THAT wasn't cool enough, who was sitting 3 seats over, my running peep!!!!!

What a lovely day.

Then...THEN...Toxichouse. Again, chewed out for eating something from the fridge. This from the moron who lost Its car keys, AND spent $73 on CRAP @ the thrift store Monday. Amazing. Truly amazing. (but remember, I need counseling, "all my friends say..." Loser).

Day 1582

Deja Vu

Bitch lost Its car keys, again. In addition, Stoney's car keys. fucking shipwreck. In addition to THAT, not a stitch of the crap in piles all over the place has moved at all. Psychohoardertwat.

This am, like yesterday, this week we enjoy a nice rainless cool crisp stretch, our bread and butter. Really nice to barely sweat. Hittin' the sauna after, feels really good!

Day 1581

Here we go again!

Psycho notes on the fridge, Stoney threatening me. Ahhh home.

It's freakin' 'cause Stoney's next tuition installment is due-ahem, get a JOB????? In 2 months he could'a had enough $ to pay tuition, instead, It expects me to print $.

THEN, the psychotic note, re: "You have to give me $$$...heat.....etc...or leave." Right. Tell the judge.

But, this am, got my miles. I'm good.

Day 1580

Bookends

Yesterday was weird, totally off my sched.

Had a pm meeting in Manhattan-should'a just stayed there since Friday n'est pas?

Got my miles in the am, crisp, cool, 50. Saw Lynn on the way back.

Did the meeting in Manhattan, then back to the job to nail it down. On the way back, bumped into Deb on the bus, always nice to hang with her.

A great way to start and end the day. Two very nice people.

...and then...Toxichouse. All Its shit STILL all over the floor, good thing It hurled my things from the closets. Psycho twat. Is It any happier as a result? Fucking shipwreck.

...And the basement? A firetrap.

But it spent Saturday @ the beach. Totally useless twat.

Day 1579

Yin/Yang

Did the fifth Ave Mile. Nice. anytime they close down a major road for you to ru on, especially a world famous road, nice. Met my peeps, again, never alone.

Then,,,Toxichouse. Shit plastered to the fridge: they love giving me assignments. Of course, they won't get shit from me: remember the closet? Shit ALL OVER the place, still, yet MY stuff hadda be thrown to the ground. Instead, he smoked and slept all day, It went to the beach. THEN, again, had the balls to demand $$$ from me. Useless, really useless.

But I ran. I was good. This am, I will get my miles. Will STILL be good!

Day 1578

PURE Bitch.

Last week, suits thrown to the ground. THIS week, shoes. Bitch is predictable AND psychotic. All because suddenly Bitch wants another closet. Mind you, all the shit It took out of the last area it hoarded into, was STILL in piles on the floor a week later. AND, after this "You have to give me $1,000 for oil." Right.

So, this am, Fifth Ave mile. Yesterday most did Cow Harbor, no thanks, got THAT bullshit outta my system. Was gonna do a 5k in Eisenhower, but I was there ('natch) too early, heard the organizers saying it was mostly gonna be women and strollers. Big mistake. Pulled up stakes and did The line. Glad I did. With today's mile, needed the acreage. AND, saw my peeps.

Unfortunately, hadda come in to find more mindfucking, but fuck It. And best of all, It had gone to teach religion. THIS is how Jesus would behave????????????? Hypocrite Twat.

Day 1577

These peeps are cool!!!!!

So, got my miles, did the job, nailed down the unit. So far so good. Then...THEN...IAN!!!!!

What a concert! Opening act (SHIT), was actually very good: James Maddock. Then, the one the only Ian Hunter!!!

First: City Winery. Great venue. Second, ran into Mindy, she was there with her peeps (see, running=never alone), then, made my flavor of the night acquaintance w/an actress sitting next to me. What a GREAT night!!!!!!!

Of course, come in, Stoney passed out on the couch, Bitch out. Strolled in @ 1am, started making noise. What a useless twat.

But my night, memorable, lovely!!!!!

Day 1576

!!!!!

Eighteen hours until.....IAN!!!!!

First (paid) concert @ City Winery. Hit the summer concert series, nice, a free series, in which-among others-saw Dave Davies. Will see him there again 11/12, inside this time (November, thank GOD indoors).

Does Ian ever stop touring? While prepping coffee this am, I thought of him doing this mundane "first thing in the morning" shit. Then again, he must usually be in hotels.

The Line daily this week, no breaks, yet. Might rain this weekend, we'll see.

As I left the gym, ran into Maggie. Strange to NOT be spinning. But, runners run....until they can't.....

Day 1575

What goes around...


Wife of next door neighbor tells Sybil that Snaggletooth (the bad Cher look alike across the street, the one who never leaves the house and knows everything about everyone-or so she thinks. The same one who claimed a female pal of mine was @ the house every day while Sybil was ill. THAT cunt) told her Stoney was dealing. Draw your own conclusions.

Me, didn't wanna run yesterday. Was tired. Night before stayed up too late-SOA was 90 minutes, again. Damn, didn't even make it to the end. But, got up in need of more rest. Fortunately, it WAS 50 degs-crisp enough to motivate me to hit The Line. Glad I did. Sunday is the fifth Ave mile, though fast, it IS only a mile. So this is no time to slack off.

...and somehow after that, the day was fine  ;).

Day 1574

:)

Felt good to hit The Line in brisk temps. Was on the fence re: long or short sleeves, went short. Glad I did. It's that time of year when you run better 'cause it's cold when you start, but a mile in and you're good. Best of all: no sweat.

Then, hit the gym to shower. Too much drama on the job, needed distance, so, got to reconnect with my gym peeps. Felt great!

Day 1573

PURE Bitch

Trying to sleep last night, first Stoney has to make a point of opening and closing the bedroom door. Minutes later, It does exactly the same. This is done purely to harass. Amazing. Pay the bills, and that's it. And after I voice my annoyance, I'm told "shut up you asshole." You can guess my response.

Miserable angry twat. And THAT is "sober" behavior?

So, yes, got my miles, and loved it- 50 ish in the pre dawn, reallllly nice!!!!!

Day 1572

Did it!

9:21 (on a flat, fast course, but hey, sub 10 is sub 10). Feels so good to NOT totally suck.

Still reeling from the Bitch's lack of respect for boundaries-when I tell you EVERY square inch of the place was covered in Its crap, I mean from the bedroom, to living room, to kitchen, to basement. It really should be on Hoarders.

You know it lost it when Stoney comes in and asked what happened?

Fuckin' psycho.

Day 1571

Wow.

Didn't really wanna do this am's 5k, but, couldn't resist seeing my time. See if I could actually break 10 mins.

The run was @ Tanger, site of last year's race, where you got a medal for finishing. Need I say more? Of course I hadda do it.

Didn't check the results yet, but I didn't walk, and I got a medal I'm ok.

Plus, anything beat yesterday.

Bitch was on a tear.

Was having a garage sale @ a friends, used the opportunity to rid Itself of all the crap it bought. Note: didn't I say it was crap????? Now, take it to sell. In the process, EVERY SQUARE INCH OF THE HOUSE WAS COVERED IN Its crap. I drew the line @ the workbench in the basement (told ya, EVERY fucking square inch was covered in Its CRAP. and I mean CRAP). So, when I cleared the workbench, it went ballistic. Threw all my suits to the ground. All my good clothes. Nice eh? Quite the psycho.

Of course, in the process, hadda dredge up every wrong-or perceived wrong. All crap of course, i.e. pulling Keith out of religion. Funny, Jeeeeeeeesus doesn't seem to do it much good now does He??? And did I throw myself in front of the church to bar his admission??????? It was perfectly capable of enrolling him again, but no, this was yet another "thing" to hold against me.

So, the clost is now empty. problem is, same Bitch. Same Twat. Same psycho. The suits? I really don't care, they're only material possessions.

Day 1570

The streak is broken!

(not an entirely bad thing)

Woke up yesterday: rain. Grrrrrr. Waited 'til got to the job, still raining. Oh well, haven't had a day off yet, so, wtf. Unfortunately, after I commit to taking the day off and get involved in other shit, a half hour later, it fucking stopped! Fuck it. Follow the signs and chill.

Sucked 'cause, bopped by the house @ 12, who's there? Stoney and the Stoner crew. Reekin' of weed. Nice. I came in later, Sybil had his car licensed and good to go. Smoke on, it's obviously working for you. He has It do all his work, he smokes. Nice.

Need my miles.

Best of all: school started, NOW Bitch wants copies of our taxes to apply for aid. Moron.

Day 1569

Come in, back is open, dog's in? Hmmm. Stoney, backyard, not pickin' up dogshit. Alone. Great life. Smoke away.

Turns out (this was the 5 minutes of actual conversation I was able to have with Stoney's residence of 9 months, after 5 minutes It's psychosis kicks in and conversation ceases). He's taking 12 credits, why? He filed too late. Big surprise. Student loan? Ha, never even came up. THAT would require responsibility.

Remember when I attempted to help w/homework, it made a point to stand behind him and tear me a new one? Remember, @ that exact moment I detached? Remember that.

And best of all, as he sits in the backyard and smokes. it went to DMV for him. Amazing.

Oh, and of course, no job.

Tough life.

And what do I do? Oh, little things, like make sure there's a place to live. But of course that's assumed. I'm sure the picture is painted of me as useless. As they do nothing to maintain where they sleep.

Remember, he sits in the backyard, NOT even giving a thought to picking up the shit from the animal he wanted, nor walking the beast. Yet, the "I love you's" pour forth from him and his 9 month residence.

Day 1568

Beat it!

Gotta lace 'em up pre-predawn. Rain predicted. Ugh!!!!! Nothing doing Saturday, 5k Sunday, so I'll get miles on sat, sun will be a speed test. meanwhile, no time to slack off. Less than 2 months until the Big One.

Day 1567

OUCH!!!

That time of year when excema kicks in, SUCKS!!!!! Wanna rip a layer of skin off, and worst of all-the scratching hurts so good!!!!! Can't wait 'til this passes.

Missin' my peeps-The Line has ebbs and flows, yet, I continue.

Day 1566

Plateau?

Got into running to stay in shape. Along the way, made some peeps, lost some peeps, elarned a lot. Never did it, necessarily, to improve. BUT, doing worse I couldn't handle. It's not the aging process, THAT I can handle, but seeing the work I put into it yield zero results sucked. Nice to see results DO happen, eventually. Plus, stayed in shape!

Not unlike life.

Day 1565

Paid off!

Didn't think I did as well as I did yesterday. Split clocks were off, but, I broke 10 mins! Nice. Hadn't done that in quite a while, not to mention in a 10k no less!

Nice to know the daily grind pays off!

Day 1564

Damn

WOULD be nice to have a peaceful Sunday, but alas.....Sybil isn't working Sundays anymore, so gotta avoid the place. It is what it is.

10k, hilly, this am. If I wanted a good pace, would'a taken yesterday off, but no. I hadda get my miles via the Autism 4m, glad I did.We all know, if you're not placing in your category, pace is irrelevant. Just gotta do ok, and yesterday-even with 2 walk breaks, did ok. Didn't break 10, but it wasn't a 5k.

Day 1563

Success!

Did the Autism 4m this am, though not in a Strider shirt-I whore for no one. Didn't want the club name associated with a fundraiser. Bumped into Sue, Vince, Sal, and Rhea. Nice.

Best of all: Bitch was out! when I came in, had the place to myself! Yay!!!!! So, celebrated by doing the lawn. Felt good to have it off the "to do" list.

Day 1562

TGIF

Tough week, especially the past 2 days-my assistant off, so, I was a one person army again. Not a bad thing, less debris, less to explain, but like I always say "that's why it's called 'work.'  "

Got my miles, no breaks, good miles. manana a 4m, Sunday a 10k. We'll see.

Day 1561

Should'a, could'a....

The lawn COULD use a cut but...gotta get my miles! Granted, it would only take 90 mins, but the showers have affected my skin-plaque psoriasis, so less showers the better. and since GOTTA bathe after a run, no lawn. Don't see Stoney or Sybil giving a shit.

Best of all, my brother came by-to enable 'em with $ of course. Next thing, a laptop appears and Nassau Community isn't an issue anymore. Good thing I have family. Sybil's happy with Its head in the sand, having done not a fucking thing, not even keep house. So, I continue paying the mortgage and every fucking bill. And it's ok, why? I have ZERO credit card debt. :)

Day 1560

What a pleasure!

2 of the biggest 'roids on site are off this week, what a delight! Actually enter the place to see what a difference you can make, unfettered.

That, of course, followed my am run. funny how good life looks after eating asphalt!  :)

Day 1559

Back to it!

Though easier than last week. First, it's a 4 day week. Second, one of the main lemonsuckers is off this week. Perfect!!!

Got my miles (HUMIDDDDD!!!!! Saw John, my main Dim Sum peep, he was walking, "too hot!"). Was really thick as hell, but made it, no walk breaks.

Day 1558

It's a wrap!

Labor Day weekend is over! Thank GOD!

Ended on a...note. Did the Long Beach 5m, nothing great, walk breaks, but by all rights today should'a been a day off. So, did ok. Ran into Irish Joe, helluva nice guy, then a flick, then chill. Nice.

Day 1557

Wow.

Did The Manhattan Run, next to The Big One, my fave run, great people. Brotherfromanothermother couldn't make it, so I was alone (again, naturally). But not for long. Made friends w/my busmate. From Queens no less!

Did ok, nothing great, but ran strong.

Went to the village, to the IFC, who do I bump into? Miami Steve! Now, let that sink in. If I hadn't done EXACTLY what I did, I wouldn't have bumped into him.

Hit The Village after the run to see wassup, killed some time thrifting, then went to Mass. Yep, Mass.

Then to the IFC, catch a limited release flick.

Waited on line for the first screening to end, who walks in, Silvio himself. Was gonna not bother him, but how many opportunities like this arise? Funniest of all, he took an end seat, last row-just like me.

Asked if it would be a bother to snag an autograph-he asked what my name was! How cool! and he signed "To Jerry, Miami Steve was here." Funny guy. (jujubees and popcorn, no butter).

What a great day!

Day 1556

Amazing

No job, up all night/sleep all day, new laptop. Yes, my brother was here.

Whatever.

Me? Good, s.m.h., but good. Finally spoke with brotherfromanothermother-he's d.n.s.'ing the Manhattan Run. I give up w/him also.

Me, I'm good. Pat Lafontaine today-get that autograph-Manhattan Run manana, Long Beach Monday. Keep runnin'!!!!!!!

Best of all, Bitch hasn't said shit to me for 2 days, perfect. Bet IT'S glad I have a brother!

Day 1555

:)

Had a great week. Busy as shit @ the job, but with our a.d., we work very well together. He has my attitude-give it your all every day. We have a great relationship (told ya, he's a drummer, played CB's). We finish each other's sentences. Best of all: we're consistent. makes the fam operate smoothly when parents work in an enmeshed fashion.

All week, got my miles, felt GREAT! Also turns out one of the patients knows Dennis. Small world. He paid me the highest compliment when he said I reminded him of Dennis, almost (patient was kind enough NOT to say "minus the crazy.").

End of August, Labor Day weekend, Stoney: nothing.

But me: I'm Satan.

Day 1554

A VERY good day

Lonely, but good.

Sucks that when I get a day off I havta do everything possible to avoid where I sleep, but it is what it is. And no, Pedrito didn't call. He has a hard time handling the truth. It told him all It's warped perception, neglecting to say anything about the REAL dysfunction here. When he heard reality, it took a while to sink in. He can't CONCEIVE the shit I live with. One SMALL example: Bitch never cleans, ever. And the upstairs tv? Why do I render it unuseable during the day? Remember It NEVER made the bed? Fucking pig.

So, had a GREAT day in nyc. started @ AP, got my miles, then hopped the bus, played all day, then to Toxichouse, It was out. Where? Who gives a fuck.

Really had fun riding the Bloombergbike.

Day 1553

Told ya so

Years ago, said Stoney should take half his money n' bank it, spend the other half. Twat's answer? "He should be allowed to do whatever he wants." Today, he has nothing, but manages to smoke. Called it. Knew when college came, the shit would hit the fan. Twat called my brother-It married well didn't It? It's mother? Dead. no other family, so again, shirk all responsibility and hit on mine-after turning them against me.

Twat. Useless twat.

Don't save for your sons college, don't encourage HIM to save, assume ZERO responsibility. Me? Who pays every MOTHERFUCKING bill here? And it expects me to print more??? And yet, I'm not allowed to touch a morsel in the fridge-God forbid I actually move anything.

And no, he still isn't working.

Called it!

He sits around all day, on the computer, on the tv. Doing n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

It enables him.

But I should print $$$$.

Reap what you sow.

Day 1552

Deja vu?

Since there's NO WAY I can actually chill @ Toxichouse-bitch lost Its job (when old people die, this is what happens, good career planning), a day off means get out. Sad, but not entirely bad.

Was like when I used to hang with Pret in nyc.

The reality: Bitch hates me, would love nothing more than for me to pay the bills and live elsewhere. Not gonna happen. Stoney? It's good cop and dad is, of course, Satan. Imagine living in a place where you can't even touch anything in the fridge? THEN, It has the balls to chew me out for not printing $$$ for Stoney's college????? August 27, he hasn't worked a moment in his life, I've told him to bank half of everything, and I gotta print $$$???? Remember, who pays all the bills, does all his own laundry, and must buy all his food? (really sets a great example for Stoney doesn't it? Giving the message that dad is a shit and each in the house must fend for themselves. Ahhhh family. Go teach religion twat. Is THAT what Jesus would do?).

Day 1551

Brush with greatness


Did my St.Francis run-glad to have made it after being on my feet all night the night before-that's a kernel I forgot to mention. For Cheap Trick the crowd was on the feet the entire time-like Nugent.

So, did the turn around, bumped into Walcott. He was walking, said he'd be joining me shortly. Kept me motivated. Helluva guy.

When I, finally, got in, looked up my race results and...AND...UNDER 10!!!!! For me, a miracle. After The Big One was cancelled, lost all motivation. Living with the shit I do, having the one thing I live for taken away, bad. But, daily running paid off!

Day 1550

YAY!!!!!

I could see Cheap Trick 375 times a year (twice a day sometimes!!!). It is virtually impossible to leave a Cheap Trick concert without smiling.

Started the day with the Percy Sutton 5k. Nice, did ok. Then some movies, avoid toxic house then...THEN...the boys!

WAS in row K, but moved into empty seats 4 rows up. WOW!!!!! See pics below. Really amazing. From the smile of Tom's face to Rick's antics, you immediately sense they love playing as much as you love seeing them. Nice.

Day 1549

"mine"

Bitch goes shopping, strolls in @ the crack of 10, starts cleaning...as I'm trying to fall asleep. Manic twat. AND, RAGES when I ask for quiet. Still think chemo's a good thing do you? Best of all, Stoney takes my note pad to use for stickit notes, to put on the crap the twat put in the fridge. Lesson: everyone can do what they want, but the one who pays the bills.

Can't wait for the fridge to break.

Today will be epic. Race in Harlem. Brings up all the MATC memories. THEN, later this evening, CHEAP TRICK!!!!! :)

Day 1548

Tough, but that's why it's called "work."

Not an easy week, BUT, my unbroken string of daily running made it all worth it.

THAT was the good news, the other news? Been to the gym once weekly.

When I was hurt, lived there, now that asphalt is again beneath my feet, I'm @ peace, though I DO miss my gym peeps.

Day 1547

WTF?

It bursts in, @ the crack of 9:30, proudly announcing our neighbor has a car for Stoney. Nice. No license, no job, but has a car? I give up.

Could we enable a BIT more. Best of all, It's gonna hit on my brother for $$$. S.M.H.

Got my miles, can't touch me. Life is good. Around me? Shit. Me=good.

Day 1546

Hump dayeeeeeee!

Love that Geico commercial.

Doing well, despite total chaos @ work, keeping my head on. My a.d. is a great find, we fit well together. Takes the load off, almost another me, minus the Hunter Thompsonism.

Stoney? Third week of August, spent $59 on a video game, no work. Really productive. Still slays me that our town has an amazing pool, he spent one summer there, years ago, when Bitch had no clue as to what to do. Amazing. If YOU were a teenage male, where would YOU be in summer????? Sure as HELL not smokin' daily and sittin' in front of a computer playing games.

Day 1545

Mine

It spent the night caring for some prune, so a quiet night. Before wrapping thigns up, honked the horn, Stoney came out, got cold cuts, It left. Of course he hadda leave "mine" notes all over the fridge. Can't wait 'til the fridge breaks.

This week is the kinda week runners live for. 60's in the am, warm (80's) in the pm. A morning runner's dream.  ;)

Day 1544

Whew!

Was worried, with the evening race Saturday, was worried about my miles yesterday. No prob, did ok. Got my miles, even briefly contemplated the gym-but no. Did the gym when I was injured, don't wanna re-injure due to overworking. Did ok @ the race. Hoped to break 10-I led Big Bird (unusual) as well as Brian (he always starts out too fast then dies), but no. 10:03, soooo close. But, I was under 10 for the first mile split-know what THAT means-whenever I see my split times, I fuck up. If I hadn't taken 5 walk breaks, I would'a been well under 10. Running daily has obviously paid off, my times are improving-best of all: that wasn't my intention. Glad I ran it-it WAS my hometown's first race, and in the evening no less.

Saw The Butler, wow. Ironic that I saw it after bitch makes a comment about Al Sharpton: "isn't he the one with the son in trouble." How white of the Bitch. In its mind, Sharpton=Jesse. Amazing how racism/ignorance comes out. Of course I asked if It's tits needed adjustment, It asked "wtf?" I responded "Pam Anderson, don't implants require adjustment?" It didn't understand the "you all look the same" comparison. Moron.

Entering third week of August, Stoney-still no job.

Day 1543

Did ok!

Really don't like evening races, but since this one was in my 'hood, hadda.

Started/finished right by where I started golfing, also by the skating rink. Slays me that Stoney spends his summer smoking when there's an amazing pool right here. If I was a kid and had one of those, I'd live there in summer.

But, nonetheless, did ok. One guy I use as my benchmark went out too quick, passed him. Could'a broken 10 mins, but I took breaks-knowing I wanted to run this am I left something in the tank. Don't wanna break my streak.

Day 1542

!!!!!

After back to back nights @ The Gramercy, starting to think I'm def displaced-my soul lies in Chelsea. Was a great way to wrap the week!

And now, hometown race day. That's half the reason I went last night. Today's race is @ 5pm. Ewwwww. Always said "if you can run after work, you didn't work." But, if you're an evening runner, this is perfect. Either way, no choice, it's right here in my 'hood. (yes, the same hood I hate, but Long Island DOES suck).

Day 1541

:)

Rain's done, weekend looks clear, Bitch out overnight, concert last night, concert tonight, got my miles...life is good!

AND, tomorrow, a 5m race right here in my hood! First time. chamber of commerce is trying to push the nabe. Cool. starts across from where I first started golfing. Wow!

Day 1540

Down side of the week

Made it through hump day unscathed, doing ok. Miles coming along nicely, though that IT band thing still is sore, just not when running. Odd. Walking, standing hurts. Running is ok. What the hell, my head's good!

Tonight, Gramercy theater, All Stars Tour. Same concert as The Paramount 2 weeks ago, just half the price. Odd. Does that say something about NYC vs. Long Island costs? Does it say something about the venue's costs? Who cares, we rock!!!!!!!

Day 1539

It worked out!

Hadda get my miles yesterday (race sat evening, so with that weird time, gotta log those miles daily during the week). Prob was: rain. Good news: it wasn't raining when I left. Usually, this results in the horrible joke of: when I make the turn @ St.Francis the skies open up, soaking me after lulling me into thinking I'd pulled it off-a la Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown @ the last minute. But no, yesterday I made it clear through, showered, back to the unit, THEN the skies opened up. Nice!

Day 1538

Prick

Wake up, the little Stoner has "mine" stickit notes stuck on stuff in the fridge. When I tell him how fucked up this is, he starts-he was spoiling for a fight. Unreal. Still think weed doesn't do any harm?

Mid August, still nothing, but smokes daily, nice.

So, hell yes, getting my miles. U kidding? Rain or shine, the one thing I can actually manage.

It? useless. Good parenting. needs to teach more religion. Yay Jesus!

Day 1537

We're Still Alive!

Last night, the last of the "if  we're still alive, we're touring" weekend. Todd @ Westbury. So, fri with Ted, sat with Nick, sun with Todd. NIIICE! Made funnier by the fact that both fri and sun were @ Westbury, in almost the same seats!

Saw Todd 2 The Paramount months ago, walked out. He was in love with his laptop, did some unlistenable shit, and most fans (it turned out) thought the same. Guy behind me as well as peeps in front had the same opinion. He ditched that self indulgent shit and played what we love-and you could tell he loved feeding off the audience's enthusiasm! Funnier STILL: woman in front was w/her galpals taking about how her son was making her nuts smoking. When I asked how old, 17. Another Stoney!!!!! So I'm NOT the only one!

Day 1536

THAT was unexpected!

Got a FB post from a peep about a free show, outdoors, @ Lincoln Center, NICK LOWE!!!!! Wow! So, after getting my miles yesterday, coming home to do the lawn and showering, headed back to nyc. Again, why the FUCK do I live on Long Island???

Outdoors they have a summer concert series, this was supposed to be Lowe and The Crickets, but one of 'em was sick. All the better. what a helluva night!

Day 1535

WOW!

Up too late yesterday, after seeing The Nuge (pix below), making a new friend @ the show (next to me, in NA 13 years!), got my miles in this am. STILL was feeding off The Nuge's energy, he's 65 and had the crowd on their feet the entire time!!!

And get a FB post from a peep, Nick Lowe @ Lincoln Center this eve!!!!!

Does it get any better?

YES, BITCH IS AWAY!!!!! There IS a god.

Day 1534

TGIF

Nice to awake knowing there's ZERO balance on my credit cards. How cool!

AND, no rain, yet. Actually might get through the week with consistent mileage.

Tonight, The Nuge @ Westbury!!!!!!!!!

Day 1533

I'm FREE!!!!!

I never ever ask for my balance when I go to the bank. Figure if I don't have bills kicked back, then I'm ok. BUT, got an angry letter from MasterCard "due to nonpayment.....lower your available credit..." Good, fuck 'em. Only use THAT if they don't take Amex. So, was determined to pay down that mother. Lo and behold, there's plenty to pay off both cards, so, I'm debt FREE!!!!!!! Nice. Got back to the office, called Deferred Comp, bumped up my contribution to the max. Niiice.

And all this because I wouldn't take "no" for an answer. This am through sat, rain was predicted. No matter, I'm determined to run, wore my rain footwear, lo and behold-no rain (during my run). This eve rain but, got my miles in!

Life is good. Bitch away @ Its groupies upstate for a few days, life is REALLY good!

Oh, and why isn't Stoney working? No Social Security card. Good thing Bitch kept it for him, now neither knows where it is.

But I'm Satan. Debt free Satan.

Day 1532

Beat it!

The rain that is. This time of year, showers are predicted to pop up @ the most inconvenient moments. So, got up EXTRA early (3!!!) to get my miles.  Hey, when you work @ a desk, it's not that big a deal!

Day 1531

Into the breach!

Shit hit the fan @ work, no problem. The great part of my job is, when they're not busy being idiots, the staff do a great job. It's when things are quiet that they can't help themselves from going totally defcon 9.

So, how'd it not rattle me? Got my miles in, so, all was well.

Nice and cool-er in the am, perfect!

Day 1530

Good to be back!

GREAT weekend, but good to hit The Line again. Was cool, almost crisp. when the shirt stays on, it's cool. Felt really good to get good miles in again, with no water stops.

Day 1529

Back into a pumpkin!

My NYC weekend comes to a close, sniff sniff. Did REALLY well this am @ the Brooklyn Bridge Run. Broke 10 mins!!!!!!!! Shocked, but happy. No walking at all. Then, back to my hotel, grab my shit and see some flicks before heading back to Toxichouse.

This weekend reminds me how half my life centers around Chelsea, feel like 23rd st is in my blood!

But alas...back into a pumpkin.

Though it WAS a hoot bumping into our psychiatrist in The Village!

Day 1528

You'll never guess who I bumped into today? My Dim Sum Alley Pond peep! Nice!!!!!!! His name is John, and he finished 30 secs ahead of me. No matter. I'm loving nyc!!!!!!! 5m this am, concert tonight @ The Gramercy, Brooklyn Bridge 5k manana. A terrific weekend!!!!!

Spending the weekend in nyc. Worth every penny!

Day 1527

TGIF

Was a good week, busy, out of my usual groove, but good.

Felt like living in 3 worlds: NYC-the training on 23rd st, where I spend alotta my free time and near where I spent considerable time in my youth; word-with Pat losing her mind; and running-where everything makes sense.

A good week.

Day 1526

"Home"

Training's over. It was very good-Hispanic/Latino Cultural sensitivity. BUT, good to be back in the groove. This am, lacin' 'em up, hit The Line, get my miles.

...and then...this weekend...BACK to The City. (god, I can't stand Long Island).

Day 1525

Back in the NY groove!

Attending a 2 day training in nyc, love it! Not the training, that's good in itself, but guess where the training is? Right. Chelsea! My second home. Around the corner from Feldenkrais, around the corner from Buffalo Exchange, blocks from B n' N, wow. Everything really DOES come full circle.

AND, since I was already in nyc, hit City Winery for the Tuesday 5pm concert! Saw Betty!!!!! After years of hearing about them. GREAT day!!!!!

Day 1524

Back

Bitch went south again, I had the BALLS to park in Its driveway. Remember, I paid to have it resurfaced, and $800 to repair/replace the gate It left open, repeatedly. But it is Its driveway?

THEN, Stoney's back from camping. Leaves "mine" notes all over shit in the fridge. I should leave "mine" notes all over the electricity, the cable, the house itself.

Unbelievable.

Day 1523

Monday Monday

Made it! For the next 2 days, I'm in nyc @ training, so, got my miles as I could. Best of all, I hadda go to the Y for consultation! nice eh? The fat kid who couldn't do a lap around the gym asked to consult. They wanna do a 5k and were asking relevant questions. what a thrill!

Day 1522

Put the 2 together and?

Between The American Led Zep Friday night and Robert Plant Saturday night, throw in Jimmy Page and.....

Was in Prospect Park for a 5k sat am, I was asked by a runner (when he saw the Zep tat on my arm) if I was seeing Plant in the eve. Perfect! And I didn't really wanna do the 5k, much less see Percy but the evening was breezy, and I'm glad I stayed to do the 5k.

I was gonna split, there were no signs, hooked up with another lost runner, nothing to even indicate a race was happening. Was SO pissed after walking, literally, around Prospect Park, that I was headed to my vehicle to leave. Fortunately, I bumped into a runner who picked up his bib earlier in the week, together we went off to find this fucking race.

Sho' 'nuff, it was tucked away. I'm talkin' TUCKED AWAY. If you tried, you couldn't have hidden it any better. BUT, I'm glad I stuck around. Because of the confusion, they started it 30 mins after the scheduled time (good, otherwise I'd have hadda done the race sans knee braces, OUCH!). So, did the 5k, which with all the fucking walking, was a 10k. The BEST news, didn't havta walk any of it! Nice to see results. More running, more gooder.

So, since I was in Brooklyn anyway, spent the day farting around, then Plant in the evening.

Nice.

Day 1521

A GOOD Friday

Despite drama @ work (buzzard who needs to retire), a very good Friday. Hit my fave venue to see The American Led Zeppelin. they were very good. They are to Led Zep what masturbation is to sex. And, my usual great spot! Really cool.

This after getting my miles. Felt GREAT to put a solid week in. With the work drama, really helps.

Came in, Stoney's out camping/smoking with his brotherfromanothermother. Good for him.

Day 1520

No longer a virgin

Stoney asked (gave him credit for that, though annoyingly opportunistic) "dad, could you leave me $10 to get something to eat with my friends," to which I replied "don't you have money in the bank?" He didn't like that, referring to it as "graduation money." I, of course, reminded him the $100 for grad + the $50 for his birthday (which HAD been $100 'til I pondered his reeking of weed daily) = $150, and that he needed to get a job. He isn't happy. Pity. If he'd done what I told him years ago, we wouldn't be having this issue. AND, the only time he speaks with anything vaguely resembling respect is to ask for $. Enjoy your summer kiddo.

And yes, got my miles, and yes, I feel alive!!!!!!!!

Day 1519

Pure bitch

Parks in front of the house (I was in the driveway), makes it a point to walk through the driveway, around the house, to circle through-to enter through The Den. Bear in mind the front door is steps away. This from the same person that walked 400m to the back of the garage to place a broken vacuum there, yes, purposely put a broken vacuum behind the garage rather than the curb for garbage. Think I'm makin' this up eh?

But, I got my miles! Felt good, though my leg was killing me @ night. Always the left leg.

Day 1518

Victory


Crossed THAT one off my "to do" list! Now, if I could qualify for Boston, I could say I'd done everything I'd ever dreamed of. What was it? Finally ran in the rain, not for a race no less. there, I'd do it because I was preregged, but yesterday, I did it to escape the addictive cycle of hitting the gym rather than asphalt. Remember when The Big One was cancelled? Took months to get back on the horse. Yesterday, POURING, but, motherfucker, I got my miles!

Day 1517

:)

Rain off and on. Felt the familiar "Lucy pulling the football away" feeling yesterday, BUT, did ok. The misting started after St.Francis. Got my miles, life is good!

Stoney? No job, smokin'. Still.

Goy my miles, knees holding up. My head's ok.

Day 1516

TGIM

Tough weekend, really smarting from Stoney's unimaginable attitude, but fuckit. I'm ok.

Thank God I have running.

Day 1515

WTF??? 

Did the Queens 10k. I'm PISSED/disappointed. No medal? Hey, at least I finished. After the IT band injury, glad to finish the damned thing.

Get in, Stoney-blunt remains again under the couch, asks if I'd seen 3 shirts he bought last year??? Smoke some more, the memory's great.

Can't wait 'til he either turns 21 or leaves. I was never this much of a punk, and with It useless as a parent, I'm all alone.

Does shit all day, but feed into his weed fueled paranoias.

Day 1514

???????????

Stoney leaves his "please leave me $10..." note. I leave nothing. 3 Weeks before: $100 for graduation, last week $50 for his birthday. Funny asshole.

I come in yesterday, my stuff is moved around. Why? I moved stuff in the fridge. Call the lawyers, call cps. This kid has ZERO respect. I call him, he calls me a "cunt," and his mother, doesn't wanna hear any of it "I have to deal with problems all day..." It babysits a 95 year old woman. I deal with 26 patients and 22 staff. It HAS to be kidding????? Bury your head in the sand, then go teach religion.

But it's ok, why, I ran!

Was supposed to be Boomer's 10k, but due to the temps, it was made a 4m run, unscored, but still a qualifier. Nice. and yes, got him to sign my bib!

Day 1513

Do I LOOK that stupid?

Come in everyday this week, Stoney reeks of weed. Come in @ 4:30 2 days ago, to be challenged with "what are YOU doing here," after catching him and his peeps smoking in the back. So, wake up this am to: "could you leave $10....." Amazing. He gets a package yesterday from his aunt, I ask what was in the package, he mumbles, the dog-remember "I want a doggy daddy" has no water in his bowl-almost 100 degs, he takes my clothes from the closet-depositing them on the bed, FUCK this! He has $$$ for weed, he has a bank account. He is 18, he needs a job.

Imagine, 18, sweltering temps. I'd be living @ the local pool.

Smoke some more, it's doing a world of good.

Day 1512

Got smoke?

Stoney does!

Came in yesterday, 4;30, he and his peeps in the backyard smokin' away. Sooooo happy I pay a mortgage. Assholes. I PRAY N.C.P.D. comes by.

Got my miles, saw my peeps, you KNOW I'm lacin' 'em up this am!

*WAS hilarious hearing Stoney and his 9 month motel yelling @ each other. 2 bitches. Sad, but reallllly funny. What happened to the "I love you's?" Funny, some people's feelings are determined by the temperature. Good sobriety-of course, he WAS high as a kite.

Day 1511

Ewwwwwwww


This weather is not fun. Thank GOD I got my miles predawn, can't imagine running after sunrise.

Best part: no rain, sucks re: the almost 100 deg temps, but rain SUUUUCKS worse than the heat. End result: got my miles, life is good. Downside: haven't been in the gym in over a week, not a bad thing.

Stoney, out all night, comes in reeking of weed.

Day 1510

Reap what you sow

So, blazing, stupid hot. Got a/c? We don't. The place that gave you no heat/oil in winter, no a/c in summer. Now, what's to stop UberBitch from contributing to the electric bills? Nope, better to suffer and blame me. No prob. Sweat bitch.

Stoney has a test this am @ Nassau Community, apparently never heard of a bus. Breakin' Bitch's balls about a lift. Smart enough to NOT ask me. Take your weed $$$ and take a bus, better, Mr. "I know everything:" Take a cab. Nope, better to whine. Learn a lesson boy.

Yes, got my miles, felt GREAT!!!!!!!! Hot as shit, but goddamn it, did it!

Day 1509

OUCH!!!!!

Stoney had asked for closet space. Problem is: with them using the den as Grand Central, tough to store my stuff there without dog hair getting on it, so the plan WAS: pay down the credit cards, then have my guy build a closet. Note: WAS the plan. I come in yesterday, my clothes are on the bed. He'd removed them.

I will never, ever give him anything. He is 18, he respects nothing, and I apparently have no rights in my home. Fuck this.

Remember when the plan WAS to seal the door in the den, God forbid the two walk the dog THEY wanted. Better to let him into the yard to shit, which neither EVER picks up.

Hurts. Hurts a lot.

Day 1508

Hurt, but a good hurt

Good news: did the 5k in Prospect Park with my peep. Helluva guy. We really had a blast! He's 59, yet his inner child lives. This is "football dad." He picked me up, we drove in, not a second of the trip was "tolerance time," we had some deep guy talk, did the run, then back, and in before 10 am. Nice!!!!! THAT was the good news.

Unfortunately, CUNT, in the process of making my son hate me, took him to Its groupies house. It was his birthday. Nice. My sons birthday and I'm not invited. And you wonder why I don't lift a finger? Let 'em rot in their shit. Yet the ONER thing that's unspiled they havta try to undermine: the den. they make it a point to traipse through it, when the front and side doors are closer....but I'M in need of therapy.................

Had a great day nonetheless.

Day 1507

All week?????

Rain all fucking week, at least I got my miles in in the am, REAL miles.

Yesterday, Cheap Trick, back @ Coney Island. JUST like last time, rain-but no lightening!!!!! The show went on!!!

They're really ramping up the concerts: Lynrd Skynrd (more appropriately: what's left), The Go-Go's, Tom Tom Club. Really some good shows. Impressed.

Unfortunately, Bitch is a Bitch. Came in, Stoney's on the couch with a girl, It prances in PISSED. "YOU USED MY OIL..." Now, remember, only this CUNT goes shopping without checking what's in the house, and, also remember It was m.i.a. last night, didn't even call to say where it was. Yet, has the balls to go psycho-in front of guests. "YOU USED MY OIL, BUY YOUR OWN." Yet, this CUNT will be the first to speak of our "alcoholic home." Amazing. Go to a meeting. Oops, meant to say, drink first, please. Do us ALL a favor.

Thank GOD for Cheap Trick.

Day 1506

Deja vu!

After seeing The Dead @ The Garden for their last tour-and walking out, never had a desire to recreate the past. Knew it was over. Something -great seats and a new venue- persuaded me to go to Further. Glad I did. @ The Barclays Center, what a venue!!!!!! AND, amazing seats, section 7, 13th row from the ground, stage left (right side of venue). WOW!!!!! Put it this way, one attendee was so amazed when, after spilling a beer in the bathroom, it was immediately mopped up, I told the worker their shirts should read "this ain't The Garden." Wow. And Bobby n' Phil? Top form. Hate to say it, but it was like The Dead, streamlined. Sorry jerry, but you know it's true.

And the crowd? Nothing has changed. they were allowed to set up camp in a section outside, shirts etc being sold openly-because they were't bootleg, they were individually made by entrepreneurs funding their touring with the band. Of course, walked out with a pile. Really a great night.

I get in, Bitch, nowhere to be found, Stoney asks me "please don't move stuff on the third shelf of the fridge." ????????????? Really. Amazing. Tough life.

Pray it doesn't rain tonight, Cheap Trick can't seem to get a break @ Coney.


***And yes, it felt GREAT to have My Line back. Leg is cooperating!

Actually texted football Dad, we're both doing the 5k manana. Hookin' up with him to ride in. Funny, you get your run in and all of a sudden, you're social again. the world is, again, on its axis.

Day 1505

Re-centered

Felt so good to do back to back St.Francis runs. since The Big One was cancelled, really fell off the wagon, running wasn't the same, lost my motivation. Tried filling the gap with Spinning, Pilates, Feldenkrais etc...but those were methadone. THEN my left leg IT thing, shiiiiit!!!!! THEN, when I felt better, walk breaks in 5k's???????

Now, I'm back to The Line, feeling good. Not where I need to be, but good.

Shit still happening, came in Toxichouse, Stoney dead asleep, water pipe on his desk.

But I ran. I'm a runner. I did what I needed to do!!!!!

Day 1504

BACK!!!!!!

After too many 5k's with walk breaks, after too many gym classes, after too many days when I couldn't stand on my left leg, FINALLY ran MY LINE with no breaks. GOD that was good! Got my miles, didn't need the gym, showered on the job. Just like when I first started. Lovely!!!!!
Almost makes me forget finding Stoney's blunt evidence under the couch...again.......reeking of weed.....again...his mother? Useless.

Day 1503

23 years

Still can't believe been married for so long. Good thing ONE of us takes the word "vow" literally. (hint: it's NOT the religion teacher).

Resolved-for now-some bullshit on site. People really DO create their own problems. Scary part is: most of it revolves around people not knowing when to leave.

Hot as a mother, no shirt running weather. Tonight, possibly spin, but hey-no rain. Good.