can you imagine???

Shebitch actually said the following during Its rage on Saturday:

"give me a list of your 'make believe' friends," (intimating I have no friends.)

"you're gonna die all alone" (as though any of us take others with us???)

"all my friends say_____________" (as though I could give a fuck what they say?)

"at the wedding, none of your people were there"

Can you imagine saying such things, with your child present????? THEN, taking my belongings and, again, hurling them to the ground because It "got sick of seeing them there."

Add to THAT: raging because I had the balls to actually EAT something that was in the fridge. Bastard ain't I?

Amazing.

THEN, taking your son out to dinner, not once but consecutively, then having the tits to put a bill on the fridge.

day 582

not a moment too soon.

No wonder Sybil's on a tear: $9,000 credit card bill is due, and a collection agency's pushing for $360 It owes. Good. Bitch. I remember when I was just starting out in this field, I pushed for us to live on a budget, It never learned. Now, again, finds Itself in the hole. And of course, lashes out @ me. Bitch.

This am, rain. Good. Needed the break. No run, so ellip'ed. Nice. Good for the back AND the knees! Pushed it today, had the resistance on 15. :)

Tonight: reunion meeting. THIS is the sort of crap I NEVER do, but you really gotta give props to the past. My elementary school really DID form the basis for the rest of my life, be nice to see the peeps. Also, as I was voted "most likely to succeed," be interesting to see/compare notes with the rest of my group. If we're vertical, we ALL succeeded as far as I'm concerned.

*also, what gets me: we really could form a "reunion" with each group I was associated with: St.Gabriel's, Bellefontaine (High School pt1), Cathedral Prep (High School pt2), Cathedral College, Immaculate Conception Seminary. 5 groups with which I was associated. Really have had a great life to date, with more fun to come!!!

day 581

I'm hoooooome!!!

The line is officially clear! the warm(er) temps + rain = clear path. NICE! Tried to go further, but wasn't meant to be. Hadda settle for The Line-"settle" translates into "homecoming."

Briefly saw Pret and the rest of the peeps, then hadda get back to Toxichouse. Great way to live: hurry back to make sure mental twat doesn't wreak havoc with your belongings. So much for that warm glow of home.

Of course, It returns and proceeds to put a $55 gas bill from 2 weeks ago on the fridge. Remember, It pays NOTHING. Yet, has to put that on the fridge. Could you BE more mental? WAIT, it gets better! To further portray me as Satan, It takes Stonwey out to dinner yesterday and tonight. Now, let that sink in. Can't pay a fucking bill, let it sit for two weeks, but yet go out to dinner, TWICE. YOU tell ME who's mental?????

day 580

I don't (totally) suck!!!

Woke up, dressed waited for Anita. Awoke to no coffee in Toxichouse. Shebitch had found my stash and hid it. Yes, we live this way, i.e. MY coffee...nothing communal, nothing familial. It obviously didn't dawn on the twat that Taster's Choice made more than one container. Of course, I woke It up to so inform it, at which point It accused me of stealing "my coffee." REALLY can't make up stuff this good.

Anita and I rode off to AP to hook up with DP. Felt good to act normal, if not actually BE normal-leaving at a rational time. We made it to Park Slope in plenty of time, found parking, got our shirt and bibs, off we went. NO problem. Did ok, until I fell, FUCK!!! Took a tumble on some ice, lost a minute of consciousness, next thing I knew I was being picked up by fellow runners. BLESS them. Ran hard, ran well, knowing I fucked up. Turns out, I did ok. Broke 9. NICE!!! Imagine if I hadn't tumbled. Elbow had a hairline fracture, left pinky banged up, but worth it. After the run, people I didn't recognize asked if I was ok, really people, bless you ALL. How cool was that.

Riding with Anita and DP was a blast, always way cool to go with peeps.

Got home, so far so good. Then (theme from Jaws) Shebitch enters. I was in the process of fixing the back door-they broke it-again-It starts flinging my stuff to the ground, raging. How fucking mental. THEN, rages about none of my friends were at the wedding......and you wonder why I referred to "twat" earlier. YOU tell me what I should call the bitch. As I'm, literally, in the process of repairing the door It broke, It's repeatedly flinging my stuff to the ground. This is how I live.

What matters? I broke 9 minutes. YES!!! Even WITH injury!!!!!

day 579

JEEEEZ!

Ok, God, enough already. HEAVY friggin' rain this am, as in "lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" Actually worked out well, with the monsoons, hadda take a day off...from running. Of COURSE, hit the gym instead. God forbid I backslide.

And yes, "The Friday Syndrome" was in effect. Stoney asked for $ to hang with his peeps. He DID cleanse the yard of dogpoop, so he got it. Don't want him paying the price of Shebitch not contributing. Though I, again, made the point to him that It can't give him lunch money/pocket money, yet buys a huge tv.

All that detritus doesn't matter. Manana, WE RACE!!!!! Meeting one of the peeps @ Toxichouse, we'll drive into The Parkhouse, meet D there, go in as a group. FYI, those would be two of my make-believe friends. And yes, I WILL wake the bitch up when peep #1 pulls up in front of Toxichouse.

day 578

Bingo!!!

The Line is back!!! YAY!!!!! Doing the abbreviated version paid off. Took 8 minutes off my time. Now, this will NOT ever happen again. Why? Though temps were ok-32-nice right?-my hands were FROZEN. As in: it took 25 mins to regain full movement. WTF??? It wasn't that cold, no wind, yet my hands were cold to the point of pain. THAT sucked, but, my Line is back! Actually hadda take a walk break by the softball fields (I was actually crying out from the pain), but resumed. The good news about freezing is it makes you pick up the pace!

Stoney? After the "Fuck you" of a few days ago, hits on First Bank of Dad for $$$ To hang with his peeps. Told him to pick up the dogshit (first time all week), that I was sick of reminding him to do so, and that "Fuck you" isn't the best way to make a band withdrawl.

Thank GOD the line is clear. Some ice here and there, but this pm into manana heavy rain predicted. YAY!!!!!

day 577

soooooooooo close!

The Line is just about there. One or two more days of above freezing temps, n' I'll be home!!! Not that the crosstraining hurt, my times are better, my back isn't TOTALLY fucked, and my knees are awright. Nice.

Yesterday night, HOCKEY!!! Made it a point to get into as many fights as possible, started 2. Ahhhh, feeling better. What never ceases to amaze me is the "guy thing," we can fight like HELL on the ice-you CAN actually see rage in your opponents eyes-yet all go out for drinks thereafter. Not unlike wrestlers or boxers.

This am, The Line. Saturday's race is a 4m, so I should be ready. Felt REALLY good to be running.

Was nice to see Stoney hosting his peeps yesterday evening. Got back to Toxichouse, they were hangin' playin' X Box. Good. He's off this week. Makes me feel really low, but I can't get into it. Shebitch isn't working, needs to step up and actually DO something. Instead, buys him frozen food and leaves him to fend for himself. He doesn't give a fuck, he has a huge flatscreen. Me? I'm Satan remember?

day 576

more gooder

after escaping the shit of Toxichouse, made it to The Gym. Not a moment too soon. With that 42 inch behemoth there, I can't even bring myself to focus my gaze upon it. Amazing. Steals my credit card to pay a bill IT should pay, but spends MORE than that self same amount on a television. When the one that was in its place worked perfectly. Amazing. And no, you haven't lived until your son has told you "fuck you," only to have his mother validate his right to say that. Really makes you feel good about yourself. Good to see my efforts are rewarded. And that wasn't even the icing on the cake: repeated references to my "make believe friends." Good times, ahhhh, good times indeed. (this from a religion teacher?)

This am, bone chilling, single digits. Later for even ATTEMPTING to run. An hour on the ellip.

day 575

so, next?

After telling his father "fuck you," and his mother reinforcing his appropriateness in saying that, he has the balls to ask for pocket money. This is absurd, way beyond pathetic. No respect whatsoever.

And, worst of all, SNOW this am. FUCK ME!!! So, again, off to the gym. 6+ miles on the ellip, then aerobics. A REAL ball breaker. Feel better, MUCH better.

day 574

best of times/worst of times

head outta Toxichouse to meet brotherfromanothermother and Rob for the Cherry Tree 10m Relays. A.k.a. "Relay weekend part 2." So far so good, COLD as a mother, but we had a good time.

That was the good news.

Shebitch planned to get a flat screen tv. Yes, we have no heat, if I don't give Stoney $, he has no lunch, but this CUNT buys a flat screen tv. Not JUST a flat screen, but HD and 42 FUCKING INCHES!!! $800 + bucks. But, we have no heat, and if I don't give Stoney $$$, he has no lunch. Can you imagine???

They haul this monster home, demand use of one of my items (tv stand), note: don't ask, but demand. In the course of removing items from atop it, Stoney utters "Fuck You" to guess who, and Shebitch backs him up. Feeling really good about myself.

In the course of Shebitch's rants, goes on a tear about my make believe friends..." really unnecessarily hurtful stuff. Amazing. And remember, all this in the presence of my son, the one who, apparently, has every right to tell his father "fuck you."

Amazing.

day 573

good times/bad times

had the Bethpage 3 x 2's today. Had a blast! Pesa, brotherfromanothermother and his wife hung in my vehicle pre race, talkin' shop n' shit. Had a blast. Pesa was gonna hook up with peeps, but things didn't work out, so she hung out. Bless her. Was nice having her there-a good prez.

We did ok, nothing earth shattering, especially when i had the best time of the 3 of us: 15:42 for a "2" mile course-really 1.8 miles. If I break 8 minutes per mile, you KNOW it's a short course.

No Brickumfeetwell peeps, naturally. No College Pointers or Hellgaters. Seems a mostly Island event. More teams than ever though. LOTS of fun for they that made it.

Funny, you can run 86th, but not join with others. Hmmmmmm. Feelin' a boycott comin' on.

Manana, Relay Weekend Part Deux, Prospect Park. Looking forward to it.

Funny note: prerace Sue, brotherformanothermother, Pesa and I are talkin' shit. We each, in our own ways and from our own perspectives, see marriage as an "other than good thing." Not limiting it to "marriage" but "committed relationships" in general. Brotherfromanothermother already has buyer's regret, and Sue was speaking of how Vince can be a douche. Great heart, but a douche. So much for committment.

Bless Pesa for hangin' with us. A sweet person.

day 572

tgif!!!


Tough week, not impossible, but tough.

Had the Comish come for a visit yesterday. While no word of closure, plenty of talk of consolidation. THAT would suck, but, the mortgage will get paid. WAS nice to be in charge, boss had to attend to med appointments, so I was H.N.O.C. No prob.

Back home, Stoney on the RAG. Gave him lunch money, which he proceeded to lose. When I told him his head was up his ass he turned into a total bitch, and yes, I made him aware of it. Jeez, a total pussy. I of course replaced the lost money, but really had it out with him. His tone was WAY outta line.

The Line is back!!! Not a moment too soon.

This weekend, relay weekend. Manana, the 3 x 2's-brotherformanothermother, Terri, and I. Sunday, Cherry Tree 10m-Rob, brotherfromanothermother and I.

day 571

:)

The Line is (almost) back. The Turn is still iced, but today temps are going to 50 ish, so it'll be clear. And not a moment too soon. Getting tired of 4+. The GOOD news is that my times have vastly improved.

Back in PAIN, but, suck it up buttercup.

Today, the big day. Comish coming. The Boss'll be out this pm, so it's on me. No problem.

day 570

what was I thinking?????

Went to do the Quantum Valentine's fun run. WTF???? What a group. REAL runners. These guys smoked me!!! Wow. Was actually able to do 2 miles with the group until I turned back. Jeeeeeez.

That was the bad news. The good news? I got to run with a peep. Had facial recognition, but yesterday was the first time we spoke/conversed. Kept self labeling as "The Kaboose," to which I responded-not slow, but consistent. We had alot in common, both have The Bug-first noticed each other when we ran AFTER work. That morning had been snow/sleet, so we BOTH ran after work to get in our daily fix. Each recognizing in the other that we needed our daily dose-we each laughed heartily.

How the HELL people run after work, I haven't a clue. But these guyz beees FAST. One of 'em ran with me n' the peep, then stormed ahead stating "I can't run this slow." Ouch.

The Line again this am, so although I'm not getting ALL of my daily dose, at least I got some.

Really cool of Monique to put herself out and use the store for the Valentines fun run. Way cool. Pity I sucked, but we did ok.

day 569

ok this is getting absurd!

GREAT running temps, and The Turn is STILL iced. FUCK!!! It IS nice doing 4+ faster than usual, but need those extra 2+ miles. And running after work doesn't cut it.

This morning is a perfect example. Low 30's, with wind felt like 20's. PERFECT!!! BUT, again, The Turn. Either take a chance on a major spill, or turn back.

DO wanna do the Quantum run tonight, so, in the back of my mind I'll be compensating.

And yes, actually got a card and chocolates for Valentines. God bless the lil' fucker. 15 year old boy, in his sullen teen phase, and still made his mom get me a card and treat. So, yes, hadda do a drive by and head back out to buy Shebitch a card for him. It's only right.

...of course I awoke to a note on the counter asking for more $$$ from First Bank of Dad to hang with his peeps after school.

day 568

dare I think it?

The Line is clear, only The Line. After The Turn, no good, so, 4+.

So, wassup with the question? I might, juuuuuust might, do The Line in an am/pm way. Do it first thing in the am as well as after work. We'll see. Really afraid of fucking up my back, but really need the miles (AND the temps are in the upper 40's, GOTTA run!!!).

Now, if I was smart, I'd do the ellip during the week, worked out well last week: ellip during the work week, run weekends. BUT, with a half coming up, no time to slack off.

(and, I feel REALLY good running again!)

day 567

Back, almost.

Actually wanted to do the Teddy Roosevelt bully run, but the link didn't give directions, so went back home: to AP. The Line was clear until The Turn, so got my 4.5 in today. Back is sore, can feel the beginning of the end. Might come tomorrow, might come @ 80, but it's coming. The back/knees, one or the other.

Actually wanted to do the Prospect Park Valentine's run also, but it hurts to be loveless. Valentines is a tough day.

day 566

got up, got outta bed, headed to upper west side for the Cupid's Chase 5k. All the upper west side/riverside park races are a bit odd. The upper west side is the reason, a unique community. This one was suppsoed to start on 97th and riverside, more like 99th and riverside, but whatthehell. It's only a 5k.

LOTS of swag. The one nice part, a meat market. When you do shirt/bib pickup, if you're single, you got a red shirt, with "available" on the back, atop the sponsors. If you were married/involved, you got an "unavailable" white shirt. Put me in an odd position. But yes, I got a shirt.

Just broke 9 minutes, but that wasn't the point. After not having run for days, my back held up. Granted, only a 5k, but I'm glad to not be crippled. Then, hung in the city, saw Cedar Rapids.

Got home, Stoney was there, had his first real party later in the evening. For some odd reason, he was on the rag, actually had the balls to ask me to stop singing, then turned into a pissed off teenager. At which point I frankly told him to fuck off, my house/my rules.

One of the niceities of facebook is reconnecting with my grade school classmates. We ALL agree, topday's kids respect NOTHING. Truly, they know not how good they have it.

day 565

YESSS!!!!!

Didn't wanna get outta bed, felt good, not usual for me. OK, made it up. Back ok, not 100%, but I'll take what I can get.

Made it to the job, still half-hearted re: the gym. But, since this am would'a been a run day, get up n' out. So, off I went. Glad I did. Did my time (yes, it IS like a jail sentence, but a good form of enslavement), almost had the place to myself. Alot of the usual suspects take friday off.

I DO find it odd that some take an inordinate amount of time signing up for the cardio machines, to the extent that the time it takes to sign in almost matches the time they spend on the machine itself. It really IS hilarious. Like there's THAT much demand for the cardio machines @ the crack of dawn??? THAT'S why I go in the am, after work the place is feast or famine. You wanna know you can count on a good workout.

day 564

in the groove

NOT a good thing. With the back, getting TOO used to the gym. Really killed me this am, the temp was PERFECT for an am run, but no. Can't push it. In the course of leaving the couch yesterday evening, got that familiar JOLT of pain, reminding me of my humanity.

You know you're used to it when you recognize the "first thing in the morning" gym crowd.

Console myself with the knowledge that this extends my running lifespan, and getting my body in better shape by putting it through unfamiliar paces.

day 563

nice!!!

Getting used to this, not a bad thing! Weather's good, COLD but good. If it wasn't for my back I'd have been on The Line. Risking permanent injury isn't worth it though. According to the MD, it's sciatica. What crap is that??? We used to call it a pulled muscle, now we have to fancy it up. Total bullshit.

The good part, it forced crosstraining. Again, thank god for the gym. The elliptical is my new best friend. Also, rediscovering my ipod. Nice, VERY nice. I have good taste.

this just in!

my world just got a lil' smaller.

Thanks to Facebook, what had been severed ties have resumed. My original High School in Mass, from which I was unceremoniously booted, on Ash Wednesday, was reconnected through a FB page. Turns out, just got the news that the guy responsible for my being nearly crippled just died. Bummer.

In my sophomore year, I was participating in gym class-softball. Something told me to cut that class, but I played anyway-loved softball. The catcher and I were trying to tag a runner caught between third and home. What I didn't know was someone was sliding into third from second-Tim Buchalski. He ripped into me, I went flying into the air, landed, and something was amiss. I didn't know what, so I stood, which resulted in a compound fracture-my ankle was no longer connected to my foot. 10 days in the hospital, and 10 months in a cast-the summer Nixon resigned. Wow.

Tim died.

My world is smaller.

day 562

one door closes...

life really DOES make its own plans. One of my peeps is now in the "whatever happened to" list, another jumps back into the fray. The loss hurts, but that's the good part of my Father dying when I was 5. Got a head start on loss early on in life.

Battled bullshit traffic to get home yesterday, to find Stoney upstairs on his slaptop (X Box dead). Of course Shebitch is nowhere to be found. Good. The downside, he puts me in an impossible position. Of course, Shebitch left the fridge barren(wonder if Its groupies know THAT???), and even HE can eat only so much Lucky Charms (as evidenced by 3 bowls in the sink). He asks for BK, I was LIVID. Not at him of course, and of course I couldn't deny him. Livid that there's not one cell in that fucking house that does a goddamned thing for me, and yes, it's hard. Work hard all day, battle patients as well as staff, then traffic, then go BACK out to deal with rush hour traffic on route 107 to feed your child. FUCK ME. All this single handed, with no assistance. Worse, with pure evil counteracting your efforts as well as shirking anything vaguely smacking of responsibility.

Thank god for the gym. Weather STILL sucks, this am rain, FUCK!!! So, on the ellip. Ahhhhhhh. More gooder.

blessed

reading a book in which the protagonist counts his blessings.

Among them, it dawned on me-and thus MUST be posted here for eternity-I've had a peep through each stage of my life.

Grade school: Dennis Hevia (thanks Facebook!)
High School/Massachusetts: Dan Browne
High School/Queens: Loewenstein (amazing how we met: I'm playing a DEAD cassette, he asked if I was a "Deadhead," I had NO clue what that meant, thought I was getting dissed.)
College: Loewenstein, Bill Sharp(again, funny how we met. He's carrying a stack of records, atop the stack: Fleetwood Mac. I commented something to the effect of "pussy music," he thought "who's THIS asshole?" Next thing you know, we're running buddies).
Grad School: Lambert
Adult Life part 1: Debbie/Steve Alexander
Adult Life part 2: Brotherfromanothermother.

I've been quite fortunate. How many people can say they had real friends/peeps. Not they that promise their love forever, what crap that is, but real peeps.

I remember I had one of those "A-ha" moments when I was on the phone with Debbie. She, as usual, was quite upset about something. Was shaken that she saw behind the curtain. I, of course, stated the obvious: if we had ONE peep, we were lucky. She finally internalized that they she called "friends" were groupies.

I'm really lucky. Through no fault of my own, I've come to know some amazing people.

day 561

amazing

people you thought were close, people who "forever..." just seem off on their own planets. Amazing how full of crap some can be. Feels good to know that I'll be the last man standing. Can be lonely at times, but you gots 'ta be who you gots 'ta be. Wouldn't be able to live with myself otherwise.

Back into the fray this am. Felt good. Never ceases to amaze me what a difference a little bit can make, i.e. the gym guy shows up 10 minutes early, we get in 5 minutes early, made the morning. Just the ILLUSION of getting a head start makes all the difference in the world. Was great using the equipment this am. Sucked that my back is still wacked, but it isn't affecting me.

Super Bowl? Who gives a shit. No New York teams, no concern.

day 560

we're #3!!!

(just don't ask how many there were total).

Did the Alley Pond Inaugural "Alley Bowl I."

VERY disappointed with the turnout, but, for a first time race under shit conditions, we eked it out!

What was s'posed to be a 1m relay was really a .8 mile really, which in Alley Pond measurements IS a mile!

Tom, Terri, and I were "Good Guys Wear Green." The other three teams did similarly well, no one more than a minute apart.

The Downside? Though peeps from what used to be neighboring clubs were out running, not one came. Really, fuck 'em. I'll make sure to remind the peeps when others' races are announced. No excuse. Selfish as hell. No wonder their clubs died.

We really had a blast, major props to Rob and Helen. We had a ton of fun. The volunteers outnumbered the runners, and not an ill word was spoken.

Yay teams!!!

day 559

YAY!!!

Haven't run in 2 weeks, back illin', so....RACE!

Hooked up with Brotherfromanothermother. My blood, my man, mi compadre. Helluva guy. We ran the first 2 miles together, then he had to drop off. FUCK. WASSUP WIT DAT??? He usually smoked me. Actually hadda ask if I was going too slow or too fast. I WAS REALLY excited to have broken 9 minutes. If I'd have pushed harder for the first 2 miles I could'a come in 'round 8:30, but first day running in so long, better not to push.

really concerned about him though. Not like him to be so slow. And he hasn't seen a doctor yet nor scheduled a stress test. Like I should talk, but I'm not the guy suffering, other than the back.

Really glad the ellip/crosstraining enabled me to not lose my mojo. I'm sure my stamina for diatcnes will suffer, but an hour on the ellip really DOES equal 6/7 miles. Nice.

day 558

WOW!

You know, there'a alot to be said for doing the right thing. Things tough @ home, THAT I can deal with. The workplace being dysfunctional, THAT I can deal with. What I can't stomach: The Line is snowed under. DAYUM!!! But...there's always a silver lining to the cloud. Thank god for the gym. The elliptical and I are close, personal friends. Really takes me back to my roots. Remember "the good old days" when we elliped and did Spin Class, ahh...good times. @ least I'm still in the game.

Had my first twinge of backache last night. Stoney was upstairs on his slaptop, I was in the living room (upside of the X Box being broken, I've got the living room back). Was getting up and POW, the pain kicked in. Hadda get up 'cause we were in the middle of The Office when Shebitch appears and changes the channel. No, you CAN'T make this stuff up. The gall. Told 'ya, total bitch. You have no idea where It is, or when It will return, but It has the right to take charge and interrupt.

So, through the course of last night, calls from the peeps. THAT was way cool. We had the Bored Meeting followed by The Membership Meeting. Brotherfromanothermother called to touch base. Hope he didn't REALLY think I was going (truth be told, I ALMOST did). He wanted to know if I was doing the 4m, and the Alley Bowl. Helluva guy. But no, ain't no way I was going to either meeting.

So, what brought today's elation? (besides a great gym workout?) We ARE everywhere. I'm doing, amongst other things, Intake. I get a call from Long Beach Medical Center inquiring about bed availability. I ask if the referrant was doing the LB 4m. Turns out she IS a runner, who did lots of the NYRR races. Needless to say, we hadda talk to the point that we needed to remind ourselves that we WERE in the course of transacting business after all. How cool was that? George Sheehan was right; "wherever there are runners, I have friends." J.W.T.D.O.


***Icing on the cake: Queens rules!!! Patient we admitted went to school @ Joan of Arc. When I told him I grew up @ St.Gabe's and taught @ Blessed Sacrament, we recognized the "Queens-ness" of each other. Nice. God I wish I'd never left.

day 557

boring is good

Stoney'll never understand that.

Back home yesterday evening ("home" because shebitch has been out every evening so far, YAY!!!), Stoney's napping. Why? His X Box is broken and he's already bored with his psp. He was making do with the slaptop/World of Warcraft, but, as every child of the electronic age knows too well, it gets old quickly. (also offered to take him and his friends tubing-shitloads of snow...nope, didn't bite.).

Hurts to see a bright kid wasting himself in couch potato status, but I did my part. When I had the gym family membership, I was expected to drive out to Long Island to fetch him, then eventually come home. Shebitch not getting involved, not using a single calorie parenting. Unbelievable. It would drive to the ends of the earth for It's groupies, but not lift a finger for they existing in Its household. It couldn't even drop him off @ my job or on neutral ground-@ the gym. Utterly useless bitch. THAT I could deal with. What I can't tolerate is It's causing problems, i.e. stealing the mail, using my credit card. Amazing, really amazing. Yet, It claims to be saving for a flat screen tv, while we lack heat. Name ONE bill it pays? Right, none. The mortgage, electricity, cable: me. Useful information for a judge. If I'm not mistaken, credit card fraud IS a felony n'est pas?

So, why isn't this crap getting me down? I'm gettin' paid. My efforts to date haven't been in vain. Good. Add to this, my outlet. Can't run yet-between my back and the ice, no go. But, the gym is always there. The ellip and I have developed a close personal relationship.

day 556

it's getting better all the time!

Amazing what a difference a day can make. Governor releases his proposed budget, we're ok, life is good, again.

WAS concerned there, how much would it suck to have worked so hard @ a career to see it all go down the tubes? At least I've got a couple of years left until minimum retirement age. Was actually considering fleeing as an option, i.e. jump on a bus to Arizona. THAT would be great for the short term, hell for the long term: you don't abandon your son. The guilt alone would slay me. Unlike Shebitch I feel responsible.

Last night, celebrate. Stoney was bored to the point that (his x box is broken) he actually agreed to go to the movies with me. I was THRILLED. Went to see The Rite. Shit flick, but going out with him is wonderful.

Working out is getting into a groove. Think I'll marry the elliptical trainer. Rather than The Line, spending an hour on that machine. Getting a lil' TOO used to it. Still, my knees feel good, nice to be pain free! My back, likewise, is improving. Not "there" yet, but not doubled over in pain either.

The "Yin" to the good groove "Yang:" Shebitch, again, stealing my mail. Bogarted my deferred comp statement. Whatthefuck It hopes to gain from this I dunno.

these are the times that try mens' souls

Governor releases his proposed budget today. Peeps be freakin'. Me? Stay the course. Refuse to appear foolish, no matter what may lie over the horizon.

Turns out, there's alot to be said for running marathons. Stay the course, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and good WILL come.

Sho' 'nuff, we're ok.

Truth be told, I was nervous. NOT "the sky is falling" nervous, but concerned nontheless. It was NOT out of the realm of possibilities that I could lose my gig. THAT would suck. But, no, we're ok.

Again kiddies, stay the course.

:)

day 555

...for tomorrow we die!!!

We'll see what today brings. @ 1pm the governor releases his proposed budget. The usual suspects are predicting 40 days of locusts etc...the rest of us are thinking "we've been here before." Makes you wanna stay the course. If you're sure you're doing the right thing, nothing should change. My concern: if displaced, I've built a rather nice way of life, but, what will happen WILL happen. No sense wasting calories worrying.

Did the ellip yesterday evening (no House, good. Needed the workout as there was no spin class and running's off the calendar). This am, same, an hour on the ellip. Blows my mind how my back can tolerate that exercise, yet running hurts like a mofo. Must be the impact part.

Was actually nice this am. Snow, then sleet/freezing rain. The usual suspects were lined up @ the gym waiting to get in. They're all swimmers. 2 others and I went to the cardio room, after 30 minutes, had it to myself. Felt really good to get something done.