day 248

hole in my soul

REALLY miss Stoney. With his staying with brotherfromanothermother, feel like Toxichouse is an empty shell. Staff here did a mass e mail, one line sticks out: "raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree." REALLY sums it up. Miss the lil' bastard.

4th day of rain, finally ended. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. This evening, break the mold: run after work. Gotta. Going manana to pick up the numbers for the half, so, gotta run today. Would'a run this am...but...RAIN. Goddamnit.

Last night, VERY good class. What I don't understand: the instructor perspired to the extent I remarked a mop was needed, I barely broke a sweat, despite keeping pace/maintaining the same resistance. Hopefully this is a byproduct of distance running.


***Re: Easter. Funny, that's the last thing on my mind. If It didn't bring it up, I would'a treated it like just any other day. How odd that that's the same date I entered rehab 25 years prior. No coincidences.

****In discussing the weekend (yes, It was apparently medicated so we were able to speak), I indicated there was the 1/2 going on, if they wanted to come. It responds "whatthehell do people do @ these things, why should we come?" And you wonder why I shake my head in amazement/dejection? Ummmmm. I dunno, SUPPORT the person as he undertakes what few are fool enough to do??? While your lazy ass sleeps/vegetates/grows roots on the couch? That hurt, but wasn't unexpected. Who's sick and who's living life? Who's got a great career and who's got a lawyer? And yes, I explained the difference between Public Assistance and Disability to Stoney. Whenever It speaks ill of me, I remind him Mommy's on welfare. War is hell.