day 73

does 50 + 1 feel any different? No. Same me, for better or for worse. I prefer to think "for better."

Keep thinking of the Billy Joel line about Angry Young Man, thinking still being in "the game" is enough. Don't gotta aim for windmills.

Had a delightful evening. Beyond what I'd thought up. This is the key: expect nothing. So, I took the ball and ran with it. Arranged for dinner out, went for the 20 oz. Porterhouse (should'a had the 32 ounce, yummmmmm, double veggies, no carbs hee hee. You CAN be a healthy glutton), then went to see The Invention of Lying. Amazing flick, based on the concept of there is no god, what if you made him up? In this flick he's known as "the man in the sky," and churches as "places where you worship the man in the sky." VERY funny. Well done. Quite a lovely night.

Back to Toxichouse. Now, I'd left the crackberry in the truck, didn't wanna spoil the evening. LOTS of voicemail, shit @ work, and a message from Stoney. Turns out Shebitch wanted to take me to dinner. Now, take a second or two kiddies. Let this sink in....either it's screaming bloody murder that I'm scum and Its pro bono attorney is going to..........or I'm being taken to dinner. This is what I live with. This is why I took the ball and ran with it re: my birthday plans. I couldn't leave it to chance or Its mood. Deserved a nice evening, so we had one. No, it isn't easy, yes, it IS worth it.

BIG NEWS: It goes in hospital 10-20. This is the big stay, one month. Either it comes out the other end or doesn't. Here is where the rubber hits the road and I become an island with the weight of the world on my shoulders-i.e. Stoney. Hope I can be a good Father/Mother/peep. Thank God I have my people with me, I'd be crushed if not. They kept me from doing what I wanted to yesterday. REALLY kept me out of my own way.

(don't think the waitress will ever be the same, $40 tip on a $50 tab). Hadda share the celebratory nature of the day!!!