day 9

Went to the hospital, on way up, bumped into former counselor/sponsor/yentl. She said hello, I responded, that was that.

When I walked in, It's best friend was there-she'd taken the week off to be with her peep. It was connected to the chemo drip. Again, think of Farrah toward the end. Really tragic. No matter how cruel/abusive/psychotic It is, no one should be in that space.

The way it's gonna work: 3 days in hospital chemo, two weeks off. This is to be repeated 3 x. THEN, stem cells into the bone marrow.

What have we learned?

1)Don't EVER utter words you'd regret, they may be your last. (mean what you say, don't let your inner psycho out).

2)Each moment could be your last. Milk it, work it, use it. Let each be a moment you'd be proud of.

3)You AREN'T the center of the universe. It has no insurance, nothing to leave Keith besides memories of active psychosis, no accomplishments, no legacy. Never realized there are others involved.

tonight: track work. Thank God.

*****Fresh off the presses: oncologist has the test results: malignant, stage 4. Ouch.