whew!!!

ok, avoided Toxichouse for as long as I could, finally hadda go back. "Party" was in full swing. You could tell something was in the air. Re: they to whom I'm Satan, wusses couldn't even make eye contact. The rest at the very least had the courtesy to give a perfunctory greeting. The years haven't been so kind. Priestbrother-nowhere to be found-dunno if he even knew. DMV brother (supposedly gave It $$$ for a divorce), couldn't make it-diabetes complications. Robbie's (mutual friend) wife-looked pregnant-so much for working out.

Really left me with the knowledge that I'm doing the right thing. When Bonardi calls/sees me/speaks with me, she always marvels that my habits haven't changed one iota since she's known me-and it's been almost 25 years. It works. What was really striking was my students from 20 years ago-they ALL look like bells. Ouch.

The ONE thing that pisses me off-people resenting me/hating me/talking about me: don't care. Never gave a shit about that. Just ask the blue people. Don't give a fuck. I know wassup, G knows wassup, everything else is bull. What irks the living hell outta me is: didn't It EVER take It's role as a parent seriously? When you have a kid-especially one as wonderful as Keith-your life ends, his begins, yours is subsumed into his. It continued, tra la la, doing whatever It pleased. There is a cost to everything. Wouldn't I love to eat whatever I want, do whatever I want? Of course. I can't. I was meant for better, Keith now needs better.

Next year none of this will matter, by January the rules of the game will have changed. All these pathetic friends/groupies will have disappeared. And I, like now, will have the aftermath to deal with. Pray for Keith.

So what did It do today? Church (religion teacher)? no. Fun with groupies/friends? No. Slept. Nice. Criticize everything, do nothing. It's time on earth is limited, It sleeps. Don't care what my state would be, I'd be making the most.

St.Francis this am. Bumped into Tom, he was doing 13 with Lock. Too friggin' hot/humid. During my cool down I came back with the walkers-Ken couldn't resist, nor could I when I said they wore me out.

Miracle of the day: was driving @ my usual, doing 77 in a 55. How do I know that? Take a moment and think about it. The miracle? The cop gave me a break. I gave him my thanks. cool.


.....you don't know but you have come to see the strange man/changed man.