day 4

back to Toxichouse yesterday pm after Y class, find a torn up note on the floor. Hmmmmm. I, again, tell It it needs to sign a confidentiality release. I'm asked why. It states It signed the Health Care Proxy-It's former counselor-the one who married her patient-is the designee. Amazing. Good. Let her gather the remains.

The torn up note, you KNOW I put it together. It's from Angela, pissin' n' moanin' about HER husband-dmv brother, the one w/diabetes who couldn't make it to the party because of declining health. And I quote "...I also hear that you were angry because I didn't come (you're not that important).......When Peter's home, even more so when Pete is sick, I'm put on a short leash (insert female dog joke here). In 35 years I have not been able to overcome Pete's despotic behavioral tendencies, lest be fighting with him daily. You know the drill. Ruiz's never give up." Nice to give props to the guy who paid for you to go to college, then nursing school, only to have you bail after ONE WEEK, thereafter pay for food and lodging, with the only request the she cleans and cooks. Nice life. But no, play the victim. Sensing a trend here?

This is getting more interesting n'est pas? Another yahoo who disappears from my reality when It does as well. Knew there was an up side to all this.

What slays me is: a life built on lies. Selling all these gullibles that you're a victim and casting the spouse as satan. Can this many people really be that stupid? Also, fearing for my mortal soul, I'd fear frying in hell for playing this illness as an excuse to con people into believing that I'm a victim, wherein in reality, my life hasn't amounted to a damn thing. Only a series of aborted efforts.

Woke up this am, Keith still awake (3 am). We both smell smoke. It was throwing old sponges in the bottom of the dishwasher (we never use it-only for storage). Why the HELL would you keep old sponges????? The heating element @ the bottom was on them, they touched, smoke ensued. Amazing. Another problem that will cease.

St.Francis this am, you KNOW it. Felt REALLY good to get back to the very basics: running in the dark. With last night's rain, LOTS of branches.