day 309

weird but good.

Headed to The Parkhouse to run with the peeps, few there. No one @ my pace, so off I went. Who do I run into? Dave the Superjew, adjusted his pace to move with me. Caught Pret walking on our way to finishing up, we walked together. Good thing, I was doing (only) 5 today, going back to walk with Pret, got 8 in total. Good!!!

On the way home, stopped @ Waldbaums, wanted to do surf n' turf-hey, if Shebitch can buy lobster, why not push it and get that and filet mignon. Got to the counter, the guy asked how big, I said "surprise me," he did. 3 1/2 lbs. Yummmmmm! Needless to stay, the turf would'a been too much. Got 2 ears of corn, bag o' salad (veggie lovers delight), and intended to mix 'em up. As I was walking away, a couple asked if they steamed 'em there, he said sure. BINGO!!!! I walked around, getting the other ingredients for a kick ass salad, in 15 mins, my beast was steamed. Brought it home, laid out in the sun while the corn cooked, knifed the corn off the cob, added it to the salad, some balsamic dressing (hey, with THAT much lobster you don't wanna weight your stomach down with heavy dressing)shelled the lobster, perfect! NICE! Again, you humans and your "food," great idea!!!

day 308

Seemed like a good idea @ the time

Ok, should'a taken yesterday off, but nooooooo, hadda try to do St.Francis, thank GOD my peep persuaded me to do 5 (took all of a nanosecond to talk me outta 6.5+). BUT, today proved, if I wanna do well, can't run myself into the ground.

Long Beach 10m, hotttt, VERY warm, breeze in your face. Took too many breaks after the 5m mark, actually took my chip off. Was glad to not dnf. I finished, I know I finished, it isn't a NYRR race, so don't need an official time. Didn't even look @ the clock over the finish line to see my time. Don't really give a shit either, REALLY just glad to have finished. It was damn tough. Saw brotherfromanothermother, now that he's married we don't hang much, I miss that, but he's happy. Funny part is he actually tried running with me, knew that'd last one mile, then he took off. Good. DAYUM it was hot. We were supposed to hook up after the race, never saw him. I know my time didn't TOTALLY suck as I saw Vince @ a turnaround during the last 1 1/2 miles.

While brotherfromanothermother was kidding himself into thinking we could run together, we overheard some girls talking about Ragnar, we both turned around and started talking with 'em. They, too, would do it again next year. Funny, haven't spoken to anyone who wouldn't.

Still processing Dennis Hopper's death. Sucks. Thing I loved (and I hope people say about me) is the quote of "you never knew what to expect." His character in Blue Velvet defined "psycho." A hero.

Came home, did the lawn and trimmed the front buished. I am EXHAUSTED.

day 307

Debbie day!!!

Actually passed on the CNGCS 5k, went to Alley Pond instead. Actually went out with the group. These here humans be's a fun bunch!!! Sometimes you just gotta get over yourself and be social, glad I did. Wanted to do St.Francis but no, didn't have it today. Really should'a taken today off with manana's 10m race, but @ my pace, it doesn't really matter.

Ran with DP, processed Ragnar, talked club shit, when it came time to decide to continue or do a Gambino, did a Gambino. REALLY glad I did. Thanks for pushing so hard DP (didn't take ANY armtwisting whatsoever). Also props to Lock for printing out pix from the relay, nice!!! Petra from the Y was on The Line as well. I mentioned to DP that she did the Sat am spin class, impressed that she was running thereafter (thought only Pret and I did that? A biathlon!). @ the end she was stretching, asked how far, she said 3, asked where I've been, I pointed to The Line. Told her, when the weather sucks I spin, otherwise, lace 'em up!!!

Went to see High Rollers, excellent flick. Headed to Hicksville Stop n' Shop to get some eggs (must be nice to have someone who either shops or cooks for you...think it's called...what's the word..."marriage???"), who gives me the traditonal greeting (punch in the bicep) DB. Dayum! Debbie to the left of me, Debbie to the right of me. We fade in and out of each other's lives. Last she'd invited me to her Christmas party (mailed the invite under "friends of the Hicksville Public Library," she knows I don't get mail). I went for a half hour, then did my usual, leaving people wondering "was he really here?" God bless her. Like I said months ago, known her for 25 years, 5 years longer than Shebitch. Wow.

Ok, grab an atheist, G exists AND has a helluva sense of humor.

Stoney's spending the weekend with brotherfromanothermother. Good for him. Friday he had his peeps over-he'd called me @ work to ask that I make myself scarce for a few hours-bless him. It spends all day God knows where, back here @ 9 ish. Excellent. I've been coming home after work regularly. Love it. Don't care where it is, don't forget the opposite of love ISN'T hate, but apathy. All I know: I have a home, with It there, it's "Toxichouse." Blissful peace reigns. Especially after coming back after a run like this am, actually being social, how great was it to come home and chillax? Really cool. Miss Stoney, so my way of dealing was to clean up-It sleeps in the flith he left behind-in the living room, i.e. chips all over the floor, used cups, cans.....Good. Appropriate.

Thanks for a great day. Worked all week, REALLY put in some quality hours on the job, came home, got to enjoy it. Hung with some peeps, unexpected run in with a years long peep, wow. Nice. (miss Stoney's arm around me, sigh).

day 306

spoiler alert!!! SATC SUCKS!!!!!!

You KNOW it's bad when I'd rather spend 2 1/2 hours (the movie's running time) with Shebitch. What a friggin' horror!!!!!

THIS was a waste of film, money, everything. Basically reduces the women to Seinfeld level: self involved egos living so far removed from the real world that they deserve to be dropped in East New York WITHOUT metrocards.

First time I ever walked out of a movie. 90 minutes into it (hey, SJP's cleavage CAN keep my attention) I split. Couldn't take it. They live in a fantasy, which isn't a bad thing, but NO acknowledgement of the real world, of what's happening within it whatsoever. Wow. Here, the economy is in shit, the state fiscally dying, people losing secure jobs, and these women are flying off, selling penthouse apartments (to move to other apartments larger than most people's estates). Their biggest problem: a nanny who goes braless and gets their men's attention. Wow. Just pathetic.

Remember the last episode of Seinfeld where they get busted essentially for hubris. This same fate should manifest itself unto these and all involved. Wow. Frightening. MORE frightening, the theater was well attended. Jeeeeez people, go for a run!!!

Speaking of which, delightfully breezy this am, barely broke a sweat. You'd think we were in a different country than the other day with the humidididity. St.Francis +, total 8.

day 305

snuck one in!

Have the distinct feeling that it'll rain. Weather peeps predicted isolated thundershowers. THIS is what makes this time of year a 'roid. Warm as hell, but you gotta close the windows to NOT damage your walls.

St.Francis +, 8 total. This is getting to be a pattern. Good. Still was afraid of getting soaked @ the turnaround-skies grew increasingly cloudy, but by the end the sun was fighting its way in. Knees actually feel ok, what's wrong with this picture?

Def shirt off weather. Was soaked. Major mistake there.

Was nice yesterday to come back home to find Stoney and one of his peeps there eating pizza and playing. Unfortunately it was video games, but whatthehell, beats smoking crack. The good part of Stoney's naivete is he doesn't know what a shithole he lives in, and his friends couldn't give a shit, as long as the electricity works, there's an internet connection, and pizza. I was shocked, when I entered, every window where they were hanging (the living room) was shut. Amazing they didn't melt in a pool of sweat. Actually had a, brief, father/son moment. Was nice.

day 304

back to it!!!

the more things change...the more.....

Went out for dinner yesterday evening (drove by Toxichouse, It was there, I kept driving), come back, my stuff is moved around. Dunno what possesses It. Don't particularly care. Bitch. This is Its cycle: go manic, then quiet. No, it isn't easy. Again, imagine heading home not knowing what you'll find, but knowing SOMETHING will be wrong. Jeeeeez. If nothing else, seeing Its friends doing the stuff of life-cleaning, shopping, should have an impact. Instead It wastes Its days, then misdirects Its anger @ me. Really incredible.

St.Francis + this am, 8. Can tell the great days are winding down-dogpoop is def in the air (pre-mosquito season at least!). Again, lovely to see the usual suspects walking their dogs, the walkers joining their groups, nice. Just on the cusp of shirt off weather. Surprise was running into Lee. Earth's most miserable Strider was running, and it was great to see him. Bumped into him after @ the Y, said hello, he said he only did 2m. Hey, compared to what most people do, and considering there's a direct connnection between girth and mood, I was glad to see him. Back where he belongs. This time of year also breaks my heart: it was during temps such as these that I'd be on The Line, finishing my run, when I'd pass Steve-we'd look @ each other and say "shouldn't ONE of us be on the job?", then keep going. Wonder if the asphalt knows how important it is?

Actually looking forward to the Long Beach run. 10m instead of the Run for Israel sounds much more appealing.

***So, there I am, sitting in the cinema watching Magruber (dumb-ass flick, but hadda kill time 'til It left), when the ball and chain went off. It was Prodigal Son. Bless him. I'd driven him to rehab, he completed, went home. He sounded like the old days-a good thing. Hope he stays clean. What I don't get: he's "retired" (young, must be getting compensation or disability), moved first to Florida-where he called from his home's deck as he watched dolphins play, and now lives in Cape Cod. Basically, lives wherever he and his wife wanna, and he's got squat to do all day. Perhaps that's part of the problem, though he never had probs managing his time before. Harkens to my point that work is a centering thing-i.e. life may go to hell in a handbasket, but you know where your ass has to be for 8 hours a day. How many people fall to pieces when they retire?

day 303

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sooo glad the rains held off, another beautiful am, not too hot, though you broke a sweat. St.Francis. Between the prior rains and the temps, the foliage is really growing by leaps and bounds, feel as though The Line will be enveloped. Cool. Nature reminding us who's boss. Side note: The Line SMELLS lovely, truly. This won't last with summer kicking in and humidididity/heat baking the dogpoop, but for now, blooming foliage provides nature's air freshener (I'm sickening myself reading this, but it's WAS lovely!!!). I was fully prepared to spin tonight, but this weather is too nice.

Shebitch home, It and Stoney fighting. Love it. While cooking lobster (yet,It has no $ for his lunch), It took great pains to explain Its friend gets rooms in Atlantic City for nearly nothing-I responded I didn't ask and was grateful for a peaceful house BUT It needs to tell me when It's away for the sake of parental coverage. Of course I added I would never ever again tell It when I'd be away, It lost that right long ago. So, why were they fighting? He wants a video game, It's yelling that he doesn't deserve it as he hasn't held up his end of responsibilities @ Toxichouse-walking the dog etc... Children learn by example, It needs to realize this. As he sat and ate the strawberry shortcake It bought (and will then ride him for his weight). No, you can't make this up. Icing on the cake, It says It has "alot of catching up to do," huh??? It does absolutely positively nothing, hasn't since 2003. Unless it means contribute to the bills, yes, It DOES have alot of catching up to do. Helluva sense of entitlement. It STILL doesn't understand you must earn these things.

day 302

...and all is well.

Although I DID call Shebitch's phone, left a message thanking It for giving us a peaceful home, and thanking it for interrogating me @ every turn, yet saying nothing re: Its own whereabouts. Selfish waste of flesh. There IS a child involved in case it forgot what was within It for 9 months. I'm not even going to touch Its claim of being financially insolvent, yet apparently has $ to gamble. I'm not even going to address not having $ for your sons lunch, yet.....amazing. Think YOU got problems? (yet, I'm satan).

REALLY can't understand how Its friends buy its bullshit. Wouldn't YOU ask wassup with your child in your absence, i.e. "who's taking care of..." No, It leaves, as It had since he was 8.

For my part, supervised his h/w, made sure he got to sleep at a normal hour...in other words: "parenting."

One can understand Its behavior, in view of Its mental state, and lack of role models. Never knew Its father, mom was smart enough to kill herself. What makes this horrible is: I had role models, was raised properly, when I draw upon this experience to parent Keith, my every effort is undermined. THAT really hurts. Preach all this religion crap, all this 12step crap, yet ignore your son, abuse your husband, and con family and friends. Live a lie. Poor bitch.

Stoney agreed: Iron Man 2, eh. Not so great. I couldn't render a verdict, I was thrilled he was with me-my not so little buddy by my side again. We got to have a really good conversation, confirming my fears-he's growing up. I said "I know, you don't wanna be seen with 'daddy' in case you bump into your peeps @ The Mall, not cool." He nodded. My little boy has grown. No more Keithy sleeping by my side with his arm wrapped round me. Miss him, but glad he's awright.

St.Francis this am, misty when I left the house, great for running!!!

day 301

lost weekend.

ok, so you know what It did yesterday, today, I come back to Toxichouse, Stoney informs me It went to Atlantic City. I give up. Bitch IS useless. Doesn't tell me It'll be away overnight, nothing for Stoney to eat. Amazing. Hope It and Its friends collectively fry in Dante's lower rungs. Don't the assholes with whom It consorts think: "what about your son???" Oh, no, dump MORE into my lap.

The good news: Stoney and I had a blast!!! AND, no screaming, no middle of the night noise, lovely. But that doesn't excuse Its behavior. Truly a useless bitch.

Hit the job first thing this am, one of the more mental kiddies needed footware, I had a couple pair of NB's that were too small for me-new obviously, made his year. Good deed for the day. Smile on his face made it worth it. (now, remember, he IS mental, so I pray I don't get a call of his using the shoelaces for other than their intended purpose).

Then, St.Francis +, total 8. Wanted to get my run on before the rain, til now, dry.

So...hit Bethpage Black for 18, didn't TOTALLY suck, then came home to have Stoney tell me about Its overnight.

***"Vacation?" From WHAT??? It spends ALL DAY out of Toxichouse, coming back irregularly to feed Stoney, accent on irregularly, then head back out. What would Jesus do? Crucify the bitch. Ask It to "hang with me???" Couldn't resist. Sorry there Lord.

So, taking Stoney to see Iron Man 2, then get dinner.

Pray. Pray for what? YOU decide.

300!!!

amazing we made it this far eh (and didn't say "SPARTA!!!")

St.Francis this am, plus a little. Good to see the Ragnar survivors still upright and not hobbling, too much. of course, there are the suggestions re: peeps gotta put they 2 cents in to improve it. Told Laughlin, fuck 'em. I.E. pick straws to determine which leg????? Are these people whacked?

BEAUTIFUL day, wow!!! Park was filled.

Was s'posed to hook up with peeps n' see The Good Rats in Setauket, but life interfered. Got THE CALL, i.e. hockey!!!!! So, went out, hit the ice, did damage to the other guys, and came home happy. LOVE hockey. Downside, missed The Rats. Priorities kiddies.

*Actually wanted to do the Floral Park race, but doing a 5k just seems pointless. SOME I'll do because of the Director (Curtis etc...) but otherwise, a waste of time, glad I did St.Francis + instead.

Toxichouse? Stoney went to the First Communion (Yes, it was odd seeing him in a tie), then stayed home, while It went to someone's birthday. Now imagine, empty fridge, yet It's up 'til 2 yesterday morning cooking so It wouldn't be empty handed. Don't feed your family, but feed others (and then claim to not have $$$ for your son's lunch, wonder how much of a First Communion gift It gave???). Bitch.

day 299

running: easy.
life: not so much.

St.Francis @ teamfeetwellbrickum this am, 10+. Was too nice a morning to not run long(er). After St.Francis last night, feel like I'm wrapped in an Alley Pond blanket.

Toxichouse? It and Stoney literally yelling @ each other. Gleefully, I observed. Root of this blowout? It wants Stoney to attend a first communion. Now...let this sink in. Don't practice what you preach, scream @ your spouse, threaten him with legal action (what WOULD Jesus do???), raise your child in the cornerstone of choices/options, then get livid when he does something you disagree with. I LOVE it. Little prick threatened to call his brotherfromanother mother and have him pick him up, to spend the weekend there. Yes, I loved every second. Wait, it got better, the presenting problem to the fight was...Grey's Anatomy. Now, remember, It espouses a 12step program that espouses "how important is it?" Yet, get involved in a screaming match with your son over a television show. Amazing. Utterly amazing. And I love it.

Learning from others: guy @ work, can't stand him-all ego, nothing behind the curtain but a brain dead wizard. His son, always speaks about him, scored ___ points in hoops, attained ___belt in martial arts. All you ever hear is bragging. Now, there's pride in your offspring's achievements, and bragging. Put it this way: y'know @ spin class there's the knob to adjust resistance? He fakes adjusting it. Long winded explanation of what happened, point is, his son-a.k.a."precious" is failing. This guy makes it a point to repeatedly speak of the private school this kid attends, and is now failing in. Had this guy pegged, in supervision I'm always riding him about hubris. Hope Keith realizes why I'm the parent I am. I always was aware of the extent to which my Mother put herself out for us. Hope Keith realizes this, I know Shebitch is clueless. I honestly can't remember that last time anything other than venom spewed from It's mouth. Yet, who always speaks of Stoney's character and intelligence. I'm terribly proud of the boy, but, I realize he IS human.

day 298

"We weren't meant to sit @ cubicles & then sit @ home & watch T.V."
-ESPN reporter who did Ragnar NY.

Did he get it right or what? STILL can't acclimate. Thank G brotherfromanothermother called. We hadn't touched base since the relay, were comparing notes. He was wiped from going straight from work to the run-his van left @ 5:30am. He literally came straight from work. Wow.

We were both impressed by the logistics. Organizers earned every penny, though we agree-the finish line "party" was an exercise in capitalism @ its worst. No bagels, no fruit, $5 hot dogs???"

*also didn't particularly appreciate our van (support?) yelling incorrect distances as a joke. Whoever's idea that was has their own dedicated rung in The Inferno. I'd never think to do that, but lord knows I have my own issues. That's up there with Ray's sleeping bag and Randi's blow dryer.

Nothing this am, St.Francis tonight.

day 297

same weather, dif day.

ANOTHER of those: "should I stay or should I go?" mornings. Fully prepped to do Boot Camp tonight, then checked the hourly forecast...and...and..."cloudy." YES! Lace 'em up, head out! St.Francis, easy pace, logged some good miles. Len passed me both directions, neither of us doing Brooklyn. Forgot to ask if he placed @ Forest Park.

ALMOST done processing Ragnar. MAN that was fun. You really DO feel like Superman who morphed back into Clark Kent, or a soldier just in from the war-adjusting to his surroundings. The detritus of daily life just doesn't seem as important. REALLY makes looking @ peeps who do nothing all day difficult. Feeds into my theory of life: somehow (evolution, Adam n' Eve, whatever. Bottom line: we're here)we're given life, now let's see what we can do with it. What an amazing experience.

Boss pondering retirement. Dunno if I want his gig. It's an appointed position where you serve @ the discretion of the Governor, so, with each new Governor you gotta wonder if you're still employed. On the other hand, a few grand more in the check. Truth, I make plenty (how many can say that?). I lack for nothing (materially), do pretty much as I please. I'm free @ the workplace, the boss realizes I need a long leash/no leash at all. The downside, aside from no security, if I don't do it-have I invested so much blood/sweat/tears here to have to answer to yet ANOTHER boss? Don't think so. We'll see. DO know I'm not about to have an outsider tell me what to do. I may have no choice. To the extent that you're accountable to someone else, you maintain that level of "inner-childness." Being the Boss means fully being an adult, autonomous, Nietzsche's superman. Do I really want that?

***REALLY good hockey yesterday pm!!! Took the pm off, got the call to meets 'da boyz @ the rink-we got some prime ice time. And WHO got the most penalty minutes? :) LOVE hockey!!!!! How can you not?

day 296

The running gods were with me!

Rain predicted, until approx Wed eve. So, spin tonight or a day off? On the way in, rain, hit the job, rain abated. So.....off we went. Another Ragnar side benefit, "if you can do this, what's a lil rain?" So, with sprinkles, we took on 10 (St.Francis + the teambrickfeetwellquantum course). Felt good, knees intact. Again, though, please help this make sense to me: I can do 10+ this am with little problem, no powergels, no waterstops; yet in a longer race, gels every 3/4 miles. Don't make no sense mon.

Was scared the rain would wreak its usual havoc: dry 'til the turnaround then soaked, but it really wasn't too bad. Glad I did it.

day 295

good to be home.

Actually felt a sense of relief running St.Francis this am. Same bat time, same bat course. Ahhhhhhh, home is good.

You DO get that "day after Christmas feeling," a.k.a. "DID all that actually happen?" We return to form, assuming the clothes of daily existence, returning to our jobs etc....mainstreaming. But we're never the same, not the same people we were Thursday. Nice.

Digestive system having the worst of it. Knees ok, but the gut...ouch. You don't wanna use the bathroom after me. Though this run had an interesting side note (among a million others): CLEAN port-o-sans. Wow! And, plenty of t.p. Nice. Plenty of motivation: leave it in the same condition you found it-what goes around comes around.

Of course, reliving Ragnar, this could go on for a while-good. Still amazed @ the logistics, the organizers did an amazing job. Also, very happy with my performance-thinking about the Toxicity in which I live-it served me well, i.e.: It waking me up to yell @ me, slamming the doors shut to the extent that the house rattles, all combine to condition me to disrupted sleep/sleep deprivation. For me, this was how most of my days, nights are. Not unusual. The only Ragnar wrinkle, our team wasn't on meds. Actually got more rest on this trip than usual. AND, matched my running hours.

*AND: am I the only one to notice that the top of the medal (you know, the part through which the ribbon is threaded) looks like a bottle opener?

***REALLY fun explaining to non runners what Ragnar was. More so than usual, they think we're nuts. Can't argue that.

Thanks Striders. Didn't know I had it in me, though I'd hoped I did.

day 294

*Ragnar pix @ bottom

Did Forest Park 4m, as a Ragnar cooldown. Felt good, mostly trail, kind'a like my last leg. Not too many peeps, though the Renegades represented. No Teambrickfeetquantumwell, no NHP, sad. AP was represented, even Sara-showed up for support, though not running, after Ragnar. And SHE called ME hardcore??? Yariv, Eric (actually paid!) and I were there, and Hector and Carmen-the AP by association crew.

Ragnar ptsd: what have we learned: 1)you can do anything if you set your mind to it, 2)walking sucks, 3)If you have control issues (Ray) SHUT UP!!!, 4) DP has the patience and grace of a saint, 5)Vince and Sue complement one another, 6)I'm convinced Rettmer could motivate a rock (great attitude, love ya!). The third leg WAS tough, navigating through (their) rush hour traffic and shoppers WAS a bitch, but with my "don't give a fuck" attitude, was do-able. Medal heavier than a mofo, and I thought Little Rock was big! Doubles as a manhole cover. It actually hurt to have Sara place it round my neck @ the finish-last thing you need is serious weight after coming through the chutes. REALLY fun joking about the demerits. (you gotta have a sense of humor, and if you're the type of person that thinks they know everything about everything, SHUT UP-makes the ride easier for all). Reinforced the notion of AP as a community, rather than a bunch of individuals out for themselves, we saw what THAT did to local clubs didn't we?

***NICE custom shirts Laughlin! ALMOST makes up for the botched exchange...almost.

Was cool seeing the peeps show up @ the end: Bill, Lynn, Terri. Made my heart ache, knowing I'm a solo, but, it is what it is. Satan doesn't get family I suppose (other than Ozzy and Ronnie James Dio).

Serious props to the Ragnar crew. EVERY time you thought you were lost/confused re: where to turn, there was a sign. You really got your money's worth logistically. Only bummer: the post "party," everything involved cost. Raise the entry, cut the cost of post race food. Not even a bagel or water. Then again, we had a minivan full of crap. But you Are conditioned to get something post-race. Still, they did an amazing job and were uniformly into it-serious enthusiasm, great sense of humor (i.e. the volunteer @ DP's second leg hearing us discuss the goat/dog). Great people all around.

Nice to go to the next level: i.e. "when a marathon just isn't enough, Ragnar." Gotta admit, the balls factor is high. How many run, how many run long? How many run long, sleep deprived? Def a shirt to keep.

Run/Drive/Sleep?/Repeat. Nice. Sums it up.

Next year? HELL YEAH!!!

day 293

day one, in the books!

DP met me @ The Parkhouse, we went to fetch Vin, Sue, and Ray. After that, we went to get Randi-we'd trade her to the other van, as they brought Rettmer, but he couldn't leave a day early. Off we went, drove 2 ish hours to Saugerties, to the Hojo, got our rooms, got food, went to sleep knowing we'd hook up with the rest later the next morning.

Our team: DP, Me, Vin, Sue, Rettmer, Ray.
Their Van: Laughlin, Tom, Randi, John, Ken, Sara.
The idea: every team member does 3 legs, total 12 team members, total 185 miles.

My leg was 7, "very hard," good. EVERYONE was suffering from the heat/humidididity, and gnats, so it was best to get the tough/longest leg(8.3m) done with first(6:22pm). From then on, I had approx 5m per. Not too bad, though leg 7 FELT like it was ALL uphill. Hot as a mofo. The ONE thing that PISSED me off, the van had some whining re: DP's leg-"oh she's prez, she switched for the easier leg," or "oh, ___ got more downhills..." JEEEEEZ. STOP bitching!!! I mohthed off to our van to "man up," and grow a pair." From then, we went to the campsite to nap/sleep. Wasn't meant to be. 1/2 our crew slept outside, when the skies opened up, everyone went into the van/sauna. Good, Vince was set to go off as 12:30am, so we wouldn't be late.

Next leg was 19, 5.0 miles, "moderate." Now THIS was key, as my time was 4:22am. By this time, it was MUCH cooler. Problem: dark as night, so you hadda watch your footing. This one was like an inverted/wide V, uphill, crest, then down. After the earlier sweatleg, it wasn't too bad. Problem was-I WAS tempted to walk some-it WAS night, with NO sleep, but no, don't let the team down. I did well, no walking, kicked some ass, but...but...my handoff wasn't there!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!! Laughlin's van went to nap, and slept through it!!! All that hard work for shit!!! They showed 10-15 minutes AFTER I was done. Again, like with the first leg, at least I didn't have to walk. From here, we went to the hotel in Armonk for a shower and a few hours nap. Took a LONG time to stop cursing at those assholes, THAT was unforgiveable.

Felt GREAT to shower and nap, I took a corner on the floor. It was GREAT!!!

Day 2:

Woke up @ 7 ish, we went for coffee etc... hooked up with the other van's leg @ 8:30, we were off! We passed the hotel room keys to them, so they could shower/nap while we finished. I had the last leg, 4.5 miles, "moderate." Their idea was to hook up with me 2 miles from the finish, and we'd all run in. Ha, my leg, the finish, was largely a trail run. AND, after fucking up the exchange @ the earlier leg, I wasn't keen on running in with anybody.

Today, also, was a dif world, temps were great, no one whined about the heat, jealousy over their comparatively easier legs (they're ALL hard, 36 straight hours of relay, nothing's easy), you DID really get a sense of people's issues.

Would I do it again? Dunno. Ask me in a week. REALLY cool/heavy medals! The after party was underwhelming, no food, nothing cost-free. Not cool.

Got home, It's nowhere to be found, Stoney's on the couch sleeping, the sink is full. Nothing ever changes. Get me back on the road.

day 292

the big day is here!!!

Gotta meet up with the second van in an hour, get Rettmer (team member #6) then start. The second van was leaving this am @ 5:30. Jeeeeez. Can't imagine that, glad we came up last night. Imagine driving 2 + hours, then running/sleeping for the next 24? No thanks.

Good news: my leg isn't 'til 6:30.
Bad news: my leg isn't 'til 6:30.
Good news: I have the last leg.
Bad news: everyone will be there breaking my balls.
Good news: my first leg is the longest (8+).
Bad news: THAT'S when the rain is predicted to start.

I'm psyched, VERY psyched. AND there's buzz of actually doing Forest Park Sunday. Are we whacked???

day 291

that didn't hurt a bit!

Made it up here, 2 hours, collected the peeps, the veeeeehicles, had dinner, we're as ready as we can be.

Met DP @ The Parkhouse to begin the trip, of course I was early, killed the time by going for a walk. Wow!!! One hour walking SUCKS!!!!! No wonder we run!

The trip up here was good, after some roadtrips, 2 hours is no big deal. Manana should be interesting!

day 290

day off!

Today and tomorrow. Save it for The Run, a.k.a. Ragnar. Was tempted to head over to Eisenhower esta noche for the 5k, but no, don't risk it. Or, head to the Y for Boot Camp, again don't risk it.

Instead, went to Manhattan, wanted to see Harry Brown, but timing was off, saw Multiple Sarcasms instead. VERY good, especially in light of the fact that I expected nothing.

Stoney: sick, home from school. When I left (hadda, couldn't chill out there, for example: It wakes me up, asking "what're you doing here?" See what I mean?) It was sleeping, as was Stoney. I'm back 'round 3:30, he's alone. GREAT parenting. Selfish bitch.

Can't we leave...like...NOW??? Be nice to spend time with "normal" people.

day 289

Deja vu?

Another nipply mornin'. Again, longs n' today, sweatshirt. Wow, what happened to the warm temps???

Knees ok, seems the NB's are what the doctor ordered. STILL waiting to lose the big toenail.

Prepping for Ragnar, getting excited. A lil' concerned about rain, but, whatthehell. At least I won't be the only preregged fool mucking it out!

Side note: The Boy Scouts run is cancelled for this year, bummer. Got a call from AW yesterday asking about it, I said they always publicize it late. Finally dawned on me to check the scoring company's website-they have a calendar ALMOST as good as our club. Turns out, "cancelled for 2010." I'm hoping the economy is to blame. It never got a large turnout, might have caved due to the times. Hope not, miss that one, my excuse for a 48 hour holiday-stay @ the 63rd st. Y, take in a flick, hang with the peeps over dinner. Not this year. So it goes..........

day 288

WOW!

COLD this am, I'm talkin' long sleeved shirt, light jacket and longs cold. 44 degs, GLOVES as well. Wow. You KNOW it's cold when everyone else is in longs as well (and the walkers in winter coats), jeeeez. And manana am is predicted to be even nippier.

It DID feel good to take on St.Francis, after 8 yesterday, it didn't feel so tough-8 in CP no less, gotta work them hills!

Not quite sure what to make of this whole Mother's Day thing, really hurt that they went out-wanted to take Stoney to see Iron Man 2, but swallowed my feelings and didn't make an issue of it in his presence. Yes, it hurts alot. I get to be the parent who keeps a civil tongue and behaves as an adult, yet am held in beyond low regard by former friends (and worse) family. Now I know how Job felt. Lace 'em up and run Forrest!

The good news: Curtis is bringing the Police Chase back to Flushing Meadows. Now...take a moment-whats's the dif (other than semantics) between Piper's Pursuit and the Police Chase? Other than the Scottish connection, weren't these one in the same-until Pipers moved to Far Rockaway. Either way, glad to have another Curtis run, as well as another run in Flushing Meadows. Feels like home.

day 287

ok.

Did the Mother Day NYRR run, 4m. Did ok. Nothing great, 9:25, but happy with my time. Hadda do the course twice to get my miles, needed bet 6-8, so got in 8. Not bad. Knees ok, though waiting to lose nail on my big toe.

Was actually cold this am, surprised the hell outta me! Lots of runners wearing longs, surprised. Wore shorts and light jacket which came off after mile 1.

"Mother's Day?" Miss mine, think of her daily/more often, especially in view of what I deal with daily. It took Stoney out to dinner. And here I am. See what I mean? Clueless bitch. Next weekend will make up for this. Feel horrible for the position It puts Stoney in, but...it is what it is.

GOOD news: no rain 'til Tuesday. Get another St.Francis in manana!!!

day 286

now you see it, now you don't!

Woke up intending to go to Spin class, but...it WASN'T raining! Ok, that threw a fly into the ointment. Wanted to take today "off" (spinning doesn't count) to rest for manana, but...but...it wasn't raining. So, off to The Line. Lots of peeps there, nice to touch base. Started toward St.Francis when...when...RAIN!!! Shit. So, just before the 5m mark, turned around. Fuck this, wasn't getting soaked. Ken caught up, as did Vince, we finished together. Of course, toward the end, the rain stopped. Just enough to piss me off. But then again, if I'd gone to Spin class, none of this would'a happened.

After manana, gonna have to rely on cross-training. Mon-Wed rain predicted. Crap.

day 285

ending on a high (?) note

Dangerous word to use when you're in my bidness.

Gorgeous run this am, St.Francis + a lil' mo. Actually got up late, for me. Left the house @ 5 (notice "house" without "Toxic" preceding it? It has been mysteriously quiet. Don't question it, enjoy it!!!). Got to the job/changed by 5:30, to The Parkhouse by 5:40-10 minutes late. Not to worry.

PURRRFECT temp-59 degs. Gotta enjoy it while we can. Tonight into manana, rain (AGAIN!!!), good. Need the day off to rest for Sunday's run. MIGHT spin, but doubt it.

Signed up for New Hyde Park, Brooklyn Bridge, and The Manhattan Run. NHP? Gotta, they're our neighbors and represented well @ our run-also-it's an 8k. The other 2, they're Curtis runs. Need I say more? Best of all is The Manhattan Run. I'll do THAT one 'til I'm crippled.

Wanted to take Stoney to Iron Man 2, he's doing his Friday thing instead, translation: he's having peeps over. I trust him, but he IS a 14 year old male-related to ME no less. Told him I don't wanna find him leaving the house unguarded-i.e. if his peeps be there, he better be there as well. We'll see. He doesn't yet understand you can't trust everyone. THAT'S a good thing-he hasn't been burned...yet. Really miss my lil' buddy. The bird has left the nest.

day 284

fly in the ointment

as with any new endeavor, SOMETHING has to go wrong. This whole "changing running shoes" thing is no dif. The NB's feel good, but, big toe-blood blister under toenail. Shoe feels right, but really need a half size larger, so, NB 470, 11 1/2 D. Hey, still beats pneumonia!!!

St.Francis this am. Started to get that Charlie Brown feeling. Showers (off n' on) had been predicted, started out-no prob, then after the first overpass, sprinkle. Started to think of turning back, but by then I was invested. Thoughts of the 5m swimathon entered my head (ptsd?), but pressed on. Glad I did. Rain stopped, rest of the run nonproblematic. Left knee sharp pain almost gone.

Got my miracle of the morning: guy I pass (him one way, I, the other) most days waved, yelled out he saw me @ the NYRR Run 4-11 (Run as One). As George Sheehan said: "wherever a runner is, I have a friend."

Got to the job, opened my e mail, Polansky got a shot of me @ the LI 1/2, after the finish line. Looking wiped (big surprise). Pic below.

***AND, just spoke with Football Dad George Waters, a nicer guy (besides brotherfromanothermother) was never born. 50+, just started a job as a Corrections Officer @ Rikers, and is STILL well adjusted and positive. He texted to say he did 4 + ellip. Takes me back to the biathlon days, spinning and ellip, or better: the Tri days: Run/Ellip/Spin. Good times.

day 283

By George, I think I've got it!!!

Awoke to a wonderful morning! Crisp, cool, almost long sleeve weather, but in reality 59 degs. More like: once you get moving, lose the shirt weather.

Hit The Line, ended up doing 10. Now, again, 'splain: I do 5m @ our race, barely running. This am, 10m, no problem-and THAT'S sans power gels etc....Pneumonia REALLY sucks.

Tried yet another pair of running shoes, in the ongoing effort to replace Brooks Beasts. Lo and behold, New Balance 470's, 11-D, with gel heel insert. Feel good. Left knee sharp pain for a couple of miles, but overall, ok now. Wow. Forgot what it was like to be, relatively, pain-free. AND, they're not TOO heavy (NB's AREN'T light, but better than the Beasts).

...to state the glaringly obvious: amazing how, after a run, life is good again. Everything falls into perspective, priorities are made obvious, and yes, birds are chirping. And it ISN'T that endorphin bullshit, it IS a simple/basic/nondemanding means of reconnecting with yourself. Don't have to ponder which option to pursue: i.e.: Spin? Boot Camp? Thank GOD no rain and no pneumonia. Wow. I missed me.


...yo no soy marinero; soy capitan, soy capitan........

day 282

Complete!

NOW I can call myself "fully recovered." No more meds, sleeping well, appetite back and......and...The Line!!! Yay!!! Felt GREAT to again do St.Francis. REALLY missed being centered. Of course, there's a Yin to the Yang: breaking in new running shoes (Brooks Beast retired, Brooks Switch in), left knee achy but I'll live.

Tempted to spin tonight, but can't run myself into the ground...again.

God it's good to be back. Life is good.

day 281

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today!

May 3, 1990 I started employment with The State of New York. Wow. I'd been clean 5 years, had worked in Nassau for 2, been teaching for 6. Amazing how the time has passed (and STILL feel like a child).

Really glad I did the half yesterday. Just CAN'T take the full anymore. I look at it as I paid my dues (and, medals are given for the half-I'm so there!!!).

This am, RAIN, but not unwelcome. Perfect excuse to repair. New episode of House tonight, I'm good to go. Tomorrow, hit the asphalt-got new running shoes to break in.

***First full night of uninterrupted sleep, appetite back, libido strong (decongestants etc...mess you up in more ways than one!). Feels good to be human again.

(and yes, it STILL slays me that I can run a half marathon @ a better pace than our race. Jeeeeeez!!!).

day 280

NOW I'm back.

Was improving earlier in the week, still was chafing @ the bit to hit the pavement, but couldn't. This bug SUCKED!!! Woke up this am, nothing in my legs, but...preregged. Run or die.

Got a good parking spot (for the directionally challenged-across from the finish). For some reason every year I can't find my veeeehicle. This year no problem. Hooked up with Tom n' Terri @ the start, then Rettmer, Eric the Bandit, and Hodas.

Hotttttttttt.

Gun went off, off we went. REALLY glad I signed up for the half. Can't possibly imagine still being on the road now.

Stopped @ every water stop.

Ran first 2 miles w/Elik's wife, told her her husband was nuts (and he calls Me "crazy Jerry"), he was up and on Facebook @ 3am. He's the only of the peeps doing the full. She had a good pace, but too inconsistent, surging and backing off. I continued ahead, praying I wouldn't regret it.

Hooked up w/Rob the rec therapist from South Beach, ran a couple with him. Nice guy, but 8 years younger, I backed off a bit.

Power gel every 5 miles, gatorade when available on course.

They ran outta Gu during the half-typical Long Island.

Hooked up Bruce and Fast Eddie 'round mile 10, ran with them for a mile or so, then continued ahead.

Kept thinking "my first leg @ Ragnar is 8+, gotta do this run well."

Finally, after mile 11, saw Rob again, ran the last mile with him, last 800m with Big Bird, let them go ahead. I was ok with my time.

Last week REALLY fucked me up, in my head I was finished. Needed this one to put me back on the beam, I did well. Better than I should've. Didn't walk, had NO energy in my legs, yet still did respectably (better than last week @ any rate, jeeeeez-a 12 minute pace yeccccccch, fuckin' cripple).

The ONE downer (besides running outta Gu too early), they corralled us @ the end-as in: after grabbing refreshments, we were like cattle, funnelled through narrow gates. @ one point one of the runners started yelling "Attica," I responded: "Next year I'm bringing wire cutters."

Feels good to be back. I CAN'T get our 5m outta my head. What a disaster.

day 279

yin/yang

like life n'est pas?

Good news: Stoney got his progress report signed, did ok, whew.
Better News: was home yesterday evening with a crowd of his peeps.
Bad News: I lost my Gilligan, he's grown :(

I called to ask if he wanted to see the new Nightmare on Elm Street flick, bless his heart, he answered he did but would rather hang with his peeps. I congratulated him on his choice, but felt horrible inside. He has good friends, but I miss hangin' with him. The bird has outgrown the nest. Miss him sleeping with his arm around me, but he IS a teenager. His main peep spent the night, good. This is how it should be. He feels comfortable enough to invite peeps to hang and sleep over.

Manana the half. Legs STILL feel like rubber, just making it up the stairts without breaking into a sweat for the first time in centuries. Jeeeez. Will this bug ever leave? (and I'd do the 10k if they gave a medal, the half is the shortest distance for which they issue hardware.).

Temps predicted: HOT. Good, let's get this sucker done. THEN I can do the lawn-looking distinctly Vietnamish again. SHOULD do it today, but don't wanna risk anything in my current state.

***Couldn't resist. After a week of nothing/pneumonia, HADDA do SOMETHING, so, did the lawn. Feel better. KNOW I'm gonna regret it manana, but hey, I might not ever see manana.