re: Halloween

so, here's the thing:

It's out all day, coming back to Toxichouse 'round 9 ish. Ok. No questions since it IS nice to come back to peace and quiet. BUIT, It thus shirks any and all responsibilities; i.e. checking Stoney's homework? Food? Dinner?

And thus, Halloween. Last night, Shebitch and Stoney watching TV, munching on Reese's. This afternoon, Stoney and his friends hangin', trick or treater @ the door: "uh, sorry, we don't have any candy."

Fucking pathetic.

day 462

THAT was scary!

Parked in nyc for the Poland Spring race, everything looked good until.....until...looked up, SHIT, "No Standing" sign on construction scaffolding. Ended up moving 30 mins before the race, paid $33 for parking + $20 for van. DAYUM!!! But, cheaper than a ticket!

Did surprisingly well. Beat my benchmark: Pesa. She usually, deservedly, creams me. Her excuse: elliped Friday. My excuse? Ran both Fri AND Saturday. Apparently, THAT'S the secret to running races well...what's that word...REST??? BUT, that's for they that don't run to stay skinny. Amazed she had my usual time, I came in 15 seconds or so faster than usual. And THAT'S with 3 15 second walk breaks-I had nothing. Nor did I have any pressure. Was a lil' down-found yet more of my stuff buried with Its in the basement. Not cool @ all. REALLY must be nice to have support. I wouldn't know.

After the run, since I knew I was getting raped for parking, stuck around. Stoney had his peeps over, so he wanted the place to himself (sucks, I wanted to take him to see Saw 3d). Went to se Waiting for the Rileys. Wow. James Gandolfini as never before seen. He really CAN act.

Brought a tear to my eye to see the stands for the marathon. Catchy slogan too: "New York: Where the world comes to run." It'll look good on the poster Shebitch will inevitably rip off the fridge.

Missed Tom, he was stuck @ work. Ran into Jose (a volunteer) and Laughlin. This race was @ Mineral Springs-where they did the Runners World photo shoot I was part of. Really brought back memories. Also ran into Randy. it was cool-the NYRR peeps wore Lebow-esque beards, he added a boa...get it: Fred LeBoa. Cute. Had me cracking up.

Still, feels tremendously lonely. When you see how some peeps have support and I get crapped on. It is what it is. Makes that medal more noteworthy.

day 461

ok, 8 days 'til The Big One. Weather crisp, nice.

Was awoken last night to be yelled at, this from the psycho who, 9 days from The Big One tears the poster from the fridge. Back home this eve, crackers stored in tupperware are crumpled. Still think I make this stuff up?

This is why I do what I do. I have zero support, have to clothe and feed myself, while serving as a role model for my son. Yes, nearly impossible.

This is why, when peeps ask for a predicted time in The Big One, I always say "Sunday." You think I'm joking, but merely the act of NOT eating a bullet daily is an act of courage.

St.Francis + Kissena this am, 10+, then off to NYC. The skating rink is up @ Bryant Park. What pure joy. Took me right back to my youth. Think of you every day mom, and respect your hard work more and more with each passing day.

day 460

THAT'S gonna hurt


...but it could be worse.

Inspection's due on the truck. Since the lease is up in Jan, n' I'm over mileage, I'm keeping it. (cheaper to keep her). So, I'm getting an $800 bill for 3 years worth of stuff that was needed if it was gonna be a long term possession. Not bad actually. A new vehicle would'a cost me $2,000 down, on top of my current payments.

Waiting for the dealer to call me n' tell me it's ready for pickup.

Thank GOD I live where I do. I've got the only honest guy on earth. From the salesman to the repair dept. I.E. the repair supervisor has the same vehicle, we compared notes, both agreeing the latest version is bullshit/better to keep what we have.

How cool is that?

after The Big One last year, they sent out a questionnaire. It turns out, they actually listened and put suggestions into practice!

Lots of questions involved logistics and interest. "If you would attend a post race party?" "Which of the listed bands would you be interested in seeing..."

Well, after all these insufferable questions, a payoff!

Big post race party @ Pacha (la-dee-da!) and a concert @ The Hammerstein w/Blues Traveler. Wow. Impressive.

day 459

good day sunshine!!!

Murky fucking evening yesterday, humid/rainy/soupy. You'd think we were back in August. THAT was the bad news. The good news? Shirtless/shorts this am. St.Francis + Kissena, 10+. Nice. VERY nice. After a day off, felt good to be back!

Last night? Boot Camp. With the fuckin' rain, hadda fill that void. Always weird to be there. Was there religiously, until hit the wall re: benefits gained. Now, the instructor and I both know, if I'm there it's only because it was raining. Always have a blast though. Really a fun class, always end up cracking up. Yesterday we had our backs against the wall in a seated position (for quads), doing bicep curls, shaking/rolling our hips. Almost wet myself laughing. Looked like we were grinding.

Shebitch on, another, tear. "do you have money for __________?" Again, I asked It if It preferred the mortgage or cable not being paid so I could give It $$$. No response. Again, made It aware that M/C hasn't had a raise in 4 years, meanwhile the mortgage is now $400 more than when It managed the bills. It responded "I don't even know who the mortgage company is," to which I of course responded "why would you need to???"

Parenthetic to all this: It was manic. Back to Toxichouse, my marathon poster was torn from the fridge. Nice.

This is what I live with.

day 458

spoke too soon!

Was very happy that the Tuesday "Spin cycle" was broken-Spin class rather than running due to rain. BUT, God went and did His thing, this am? RAIN. DAYUM. And, wouldn't you know it, NOW it's not. FUCK.

So...Boot Camp tonight. Crosstraining good, knee pain bad.


...and...show me one American male who'd openly admit his envy of Charlie Sheen. Who wouldn't wanna be him for an hour. Yes, it sucks for his kids, but tell me I'm wrong.

day 457

Yummm!!!

What a delightful morning! Rare to have these temps @ this time of year. 65 degs predawn, shorts/no shirt running weather. Yay!!! Broke the Tuesday cycle (was raining every fucking Tuesday, resulting in my being @ Spin class). St.Francis + Kissena, 10 +. Would'a gone longer but didn't have powergels.

Shebitch did Brodsky's 5k Sunday. Good for It. The only problem: again, It'll do ANYTHING BUT spend time with Its son. I DO find that troubling. Felt like The King when Stoney actually agreed to go out with me Sunday, l-o-v-e-d every second. (still miss his sleeping next to me, his arm draped across me, cute bastard). He had a moment of clarity Sunday: said sometimes he wished he was little/to not be treated as a grown up. Was referring to asking Santa for a flat screen. That hurt, but was likewise heartwarming. My boy is growing up. He realizes that as an adult, you lose hope and embrace reality, that wishing for a flat screen is pointless. Almost got me teary. But it WAS lovely that he voiced this to me, rather than his usual disposition (a sullen teen). Of course I DID make him aware that, as opposed to living in an apartment, that he was, in effect, living in his flat screen. That he had a choice: pretty tech toys, or a house. In truth, cOULD we have one? Of course. But the current tv's work. Also, in truth, I have zero desire to piss money away. He needs to realize this. Sucks that I have to, again, be the reality factor. Parenting is work. (guess that's why It does none of it).

Duh!!!

finally, the "Aha moment."

Why Sybil is nuts and taking out on me.

We know cancer was the presenting problem, what kicked in the psycho in It. But, why in this fashion, with this symptomatology?

It never finished anything. Secretarial school, counseling, social work, Avon, waitressing, religious educator, etc.....This whole marriage thing, It can't back out of, drop. It's stuck, thus, freaking out.

Explains alot.

The ONE thing It can't let go, walk away from, NOT finish. So, naturally, It behaves like a caged beast.

Guess It wasn't fully aware of the meaning of the word "vow."

Pity. English as a second language would'a solved that.

day 456

JEEEEEEZ!

Ok, Shebitch out for the weekend, all day, both Sat and Sun. Good. Bad: Stoney was totally my charge. Now don't misunderstand, any second spent with him is a gift, what sucks is: it's then my responsibility to provide food. Yes, this is a problem. Remember, It receives a monthly check for this specific purpose. This weekend was particularly expensive: he asked for $20 to hit the movies with his peeps (never happened), then $10 to hang with his peeps, then I ended taking him for dinner n' a flick-en route, to Best Buy for headphones. My $100 boy. He deserves all that and more. The point is: First Bank of Dad is getting incensed @ Shebitch for not doing a damned thing. Nothing. Out ALL weekend. But, what price peace and quiet? @ least I was able to come home, rather than avoid Toxichouse.

My end of all this: had a blast with him, hit Dylan's Candy Bar before the flick, got all sugared up, then eat, then the flick. YAY!!! BUT, remember kiddies, IT receives free $$$, yet does NOTHING. This is wrong.

St.Francis + this am, hadda make up for the short weekend. Did well @ the Autism run, especially THAT course-quite a challenge, but The Line is great training.

And, again, no House tonight. FUCK!!!

day 455

Tradition!!!

Since it started, we've been doing this autism run. Funny, Brickwell's a sponsor, Mr.Brickwell was there, not ONE other. It's a fact: they don't show to participate, but to win. If they can't, they don't show. Sad.

A perfect day for such a run. Cool to start, warm to finish. A record crowd, we did well. @ AP peeps placed, but, again, that wasn't the point. We showed en masse. Nice.

Then, back to Toxichouse, took Stoney to eat n' see Jackass. A perfect end of weekend!!!

day 454

THAT was different!!!

Was wondering which experience to undertake today: run The Line, do one of the plethora of 5k's (Gary Farley?), or...OR...ride. So, rode. There was an enticing first annual one, Doubleup4vision. it involved riding tandem with a blind person. What fun!!! So, off I went. Intended to take the LIRR, but not THIS weekend, a shipwreck, so, packed my folding treasure, and off I went.

We got paired off with a blind rider, were given use of a tandem bike and helmets, and we were off! There WAS a practice session, to get used to tandem biking, but I figured my balance was good, not the smartest move, but it worked. The west side really IS gorgeous, had memories of Curtis's run and the NYC Half, and of course peeps gone by. Miss them, but hey, THEY missed out-they have internet access as well n'est pas??? Started @ 130thst, to approx 70th, a 5k. What they didn't warn people was: you hadda get back to the start. Duh. (hence, the reason I brought my folding treasure.

***Funny, my Raleigh has what appears to be the OLDEST tires in God's green earth, but hey, they last. And, it's the TUBE that matters anyway.

Back to Toxichouse, Stoney's sleeping. Great way to spend your youth.

day 453

nice way to wrap it up

Had an interesting interview yesterday. Boss was @ hq, so I got an interview dumped into my lap. Turns out, it was ok. Guy from Liverpool is touring the US, getting data to set up treatment services there. Surprisingly, they're 40 years behind us. I'm shocked. No license, no tobacco free, they still believe if you take methadone you're not abstinent. Wow. Shows us how far we've come. Also, felt good to take stock of the services we offer, and the location in which we function. When I spoke of our largest facilities, compared to our size, he understood. No coincidence we got along, turns out besides being in recovery...he's a runner! (doesn't run anymore, but in my opinion, once a runner.....). AND, he's staying @ the Flushing Y. Wow. I couldn't resist, sharing with him that's where I learned to swim. Wow.

St.Francis+ this am, 10+ total. Tomorrow, event on Riverside and 135, tandem bike/run/walk for the blind. God help me, wanting to see blind people riding bikes, but couldn't resist. Haven't decided whether riding or running.

In that same vein of oddness, when I got back yesterday, Its former vehicle was sitting in front of the neighbor's house. Was odd to see it actually...what's the word...CLEAN??? It didn't look like a homeless guy emptied his (and everyone else's) shopping carts' contents into the back/front seats. Pathetic.


.....she was a winner...that became the doggie's dinner...she never meant that much to me, whoa-oh oh oh, poor Marie.

day 452

Another good one!

Sweatshirt/shorts weather, 50 degs. Actually BRIEFLY contemplated t shirt, but no. Better sweat than chill. Turned out purrrrfect. St.Francis+, total 10 +. WAS thinking of packing powergels and starting to boost miles, but if 6.5-10 isn't enough, I need a life.

REALLY enjoying the peace n' quiet on the job. Boss is in Albany, so the kiddies have less posing, the unit is run my way, which means people do their jobs, no one's enabled, and no whining is tolerated. THAT'S the good news. The bad news: wouldn't it be nice to have this @ home? It is what it is.

wtf?

and, whattheFUCK is a "Nita Zaxson???"

Bitch posts crap on Facebook, always profiteering.

Not ONE of her posts involves anything other than promoting her travel agency. I threw up a post asking if ANY of her posts are NOT profit seeking. She didn't like that, responding "some of us aren't rich like you...have to work.....judge others." WTF?

Get the feeling she got caught?

(fyi: she did the same crap on Youtube, taking advantage of free services for self promotion. Blatantly).

day 451

It IS a pattern!

Tuesdays lately=rain days. Felt good to go to Spin class, but a rut is a rut. Ever since the New Year, not a resolution but redirection, promised myself to do ONE healthy thing daily. Of course, in my mind that = exercise. Of course I conveniently forget the fact that except for the movies, I eat purely healthy food. THAT apparently doesn't count. I gots'ta run myself into the ground.

So, this am, 48 degs. PERFECT!!! Sweatshirt and shorts. Hopefully this weather'll hold out 'til after The Big One. IhopeIhopeIhope. Odd, most of the usual suspects haven't been around. Hope it wasn't a faze for 'em.

Stoney? Asked him to dupe 2 cd's, he asked why I couldn't do it myself. THAT hurt. He'll pay for that. Not cool at all. I pointed that out, as well as the fact that the dog he never walks has his poop cleaned from the back yard by the one person who did not want another pet, though he loves Hulk nontheless. And this punk can't copy 2friggin' cd's. Not cool at all.

day 450

??????

You'd think I walked into a different address yesterday. The fridge had...what's the word...GROCERIES. Amazing. Got so affected by the bullshit, actually posted a message on FB about a request for prayers for Stoney. Imagine sitting @ your desk, doing homework, while your mental mother rages???

And, this IS getting to be a pattern, not the mental illness, THAT'S a way of life. I'm talking about this Tuesday crap. This'll be yet another Spin Class in the evening. Actually a good thing (again, God does a great job if you don't fuck with Him). For the past few weeks, due to the weather, couldn't run on Tuesdays. Amazing. How do I note this? I've been @ Richie's class for almost a month now. Again, a good thing. First, it IS a great workout. Second, saves the knees. Third, provides a needed break from the daily same old same old.

Amazed I got shut outta the Runner's Edge Marathon bus, this'll be the first year I'm not on a Long Island bus. Did the Murphy LIRRC bus for the first 2, then Runner's Edge. Quick thinking led me to New Hyde Park. Dave the Superjew rode with them last year, so I made a mental note. Sent them a money order this am, I'm in.

day 449

Got milk???

Yes, Virginia, bitch IS that crazy!!!

Shebitch actually went on a tear yesterday re: I used Its milk......yes.....it's gotten to THAT point. Amazing. The backstory: It was actually home all day, Stoney texts me to bring home some Taco Bell. Remember, It was there, yet obviously lacks funds. Waitressing, great career choice. Did I not caution against this 20 years ago??? Now It is incapable of carrying a tray, the disability check has obviously been pissed away, so It redirects Its rage @ my balls for actually using the milk in the fridge. Can you imagine, Stoney's @ his desk doing homework, and It's SCREAMING about getting a court order....I also moved the curtains in the bathroom (bastard, aren't I???). All this, because I touched the precious milk. @ that point I told It to shut up, that he was doing his homework, and to save Its Mental moments for the judge. Also, told It to ask before using MY electricity.

This am? St.Francis, duh. REALLY needed it. But, you know that.

Pray for me.

day 448

what a finish!!!

Did St.Francis this am, cool/crsip morning. Sweatshirt and shorts. Off to the gym to shower, then off to Oysterfest. WOW. Yes, those things DO taste like boogers. Then, off to the Malverne 5k. I really like these am/pm runs. This one started @ noon. Perfect. Again, using the Ragnar training model. Didn't do well, but didn't walk. I'll take it.

Pisses me off that Jared from Subway is doing The Big One. Saw an ad this pm, "Jared has run over 500 miles training for..." Big fucking deal. Did that in 5 months. Asshole. Taking the spot of a deserving runner.

Great finish to a fun weekend. Had a good time!!!

***Props again to Rob n' Helen. Clement Pope is really a blast!

day 447

yin/yang

yang: woke up this am, poured the hot water for instant coffee...what's in my coffee? Coffee grounds. Now...let that sink in. Coffee grounds in instant coffee. Shebitch went psycho, again. It accused me of drinking It's coffee, as I pre-prepare my morning coffee (measuring two teaspoons in 2 cups, so all I gotta do is pour hot water) It took it upon Itself to sabotage the instant with coffee grounds-payback for it's perceived transgression. Can you imagine, I had the balls to drink It's coffee? (Yes, this is how I live, it sucks). So, payback. Suffice to say, any beverage in this place, other than milk, bears my mark. Think about it. This IS war.

yin: The Clement Pope Long Stride. The 1m where EVERYONE wins something, an award or a raffle. REALLY alotta fun, what running/community is all about, meaning, Quantum was nowhere to be found. Can't wait to hear the bullshit excuses for this.

Actually palced, there were few people in my age group, but nevermind, I won something, a medal at that! YAY!!! A medal 'ho doesn't care, hardware is hardware. Of course, if I didn't log the miles I do, would'a been WAY faster (8 1/2 minutes a miles DOES suck), but with The Big One 2 weeks away, now isn't the time to be an asshole.

The usual peeps were there, and a few surprises. Fr.Jeff and Michelle-bless her. Really a wonderful community thing.

Then, off to NYC. Caught Enter the Void @ the IFC. Wow, I mean WOW. then, checked out some cd shops, then some dinner. Back to Toxichouse by 5, Stoney sleeping, it nowhere to be found. Did the lawn, now chillaxing.

Did I miss the Oysterfest? No. Tired of it.

high praise!!!

a.k.a. things that make me happy:

just got a text from Stoney, asking if he could borrow my bike.

The ultimate seal of approval.

Of course, this begs the question: what's wrong with HIS bike? His peeps using it.

Why? Party he's going to.

Now...think. Would ANY teenager be seen in anything uncool? AND, which bike is he borrowing? My latest treasure (can you FEEL my chest filling with pride?). My over 3 decades old Raleigh folder is seen as "cool." Ahhhh, warm moments.

Add to this: the lil' fucker actually ASKED. Bless him.

Now...hope he doesn't come home drunk/stoned.

day 446

timing IS everything!!!

The much discussed "Noreaster" never materialized, thankfully. The bad news: gotta do the lawn, getting to NOT like this. Yet another chore, but, it is what it is. The GOOD news: got my run in. Again (a recurring theme) should'a taken the day off, back is achy, cumulative effects of 6.5+ daily, but I figured with nature being nature, I'll eventually be forced to take a day off. Again, with The Big One a few weeks away, no time to slack off.

day 445

outSTANDING!!!

What a freakin' morning! Perfect prelude to manana's bullshit-rain this eve into manana pm.

Sweatshirt and shorts weather, crisp, cool, NOT humid. REALLY good.

Yes, was tempted to go to class last night, but...guess what came in the mail??? The Marathon booklet!!! YAY!!!! A reminder that this is NOT the time to muck about. No injuries 'til after November 8.

day 444

BACK!!!

Fucking rain is done, for 48 hours, got back to The Line. Mercifully. Needed it.

Crisp, cool morning, sweatshirt and shorts=St.Francis.

So, why "needed it?" Another fun night @ Toxichouse. Don't bother with details, just pray It gets sent to a Chilean mine.

Good night otherwise, did the Spin class, felt good. REALLY good, crosstraining makes you use muscles not normally used, when you're sore the next day, it's a good kinda sore.

Tempted to try Boot Camp tonight, but need to run again manana. Rain predicted Thurs into Fri, so gotta log the miles while we can.

day 443

go with the flow

left Toxichouse this am, raining, as in: "no WAY you runnin' today" rain. Next thing, the sun comes out-like 15 mins ago. DAMN!!! But, after doing the 2 races Sunday and 10+ yesterday, time for a break. So, spin tonight. With The Big One weeks away, no time for slacking off.

Casa crazy? S.O.S. REALLY would be nice to be able to enjoy what others do-a supportive environment you actually look forward to spending time in, but, not to be. Case in point: following yet another night in which I'm soundly sleeping, It chooses THAT time to decide to put away laundry. Now, I AM happy It finally decided to put SOMETHING away, but while a person is clearly sleeping is NOT the time-especially when you're not working and have the entire day to do chores-like normal people. But, even THAT'S not the point: as I'm leaving for work, at the beginning of the day-you know, like normal people the world over do, It actually has the balls to ask me to not slam the door as I leave. Do I EVER slam the door? No. It was referring to the sound the door makes when closing. I, of course, tore into It. "YOU slam the door, rage, scream, actually wake me up to scream at me, and you have the gall to ask me ANYTHING??? Take your medication and shut up." Yes, I said it. It needed saying. B.I.C.


***Re: Secretariat; 5 out of 10, better than spending time @ Toxichouse, but marginally so. Not a BAD flick, but...of special note: just as caucasians shouldn't try to speak spanish (they just sound stupid), ANY attempt at all @ trying to speak anything NOT one's native tongue should be outlawed. Case in point: John Malkovich. Did the flick obviously for the check. He IS one of the factors making the flick tolerable...but...his attempt to speak french/French Canadian is just horrible. REALLY horrible.

day 442

nice way to end the weekend!!!

STILL reeling over my find yesterday. HELLUVA terrific day. Pity the 5k feast was so delayed, would'a been a blast to wrap up the day with a pigfest, but alas, can't wait.

This am, St.Francis + Kissena, 10+. Then, off to NYC to play. Fresh sushi for dinner, then Secretariat. Was ok, not great-even Disneyfied, but ok. Put it this way, after sushi, was a ncie way to digest-was either that or face shebitch @ Toxichouse. How would YOU have ended your weekend?

New House tonight! Thanks God!!!

day 441

YAYYY!!!

Using the Ragnar model, did a 10k this am, a 5k in the pm. MAN that was fun. Figured I'd be in Brooklyn anyway, on the same train line (god bless the G!!!), was a total howl!

The 10k was a first for me, the 29th for them. Poorly run, but a real community thing. Bed Stuy. Naturally, who was there? The Renegades. GREAT to see Len and his crew. THEY understand what it's all about. THEY were a presence, Quantum?...Quantum who?

LOTS of people there, a fun, flat course. THEN, off toward the 5k. Seperated by 90 mins and a few train stops. Wanted to check out Brooklyn Bike and Board, but, no time. Lo and Behold, JUUUUST as I pass, a community bike shop is rolling its wares into the street...and...and...what comes into my field of vision??? A Raleigh folding bike! WOW!!! Snatched that bad boy up n a second. Even the guys in the bike shop were waiting to see who'd scoop it up! SUUCH a steal, 1/5 the cost of the Brompton. Only hassle: carrying that fucker up and down train steps. MAN is NYC NOT bike friendly. But, got my treasure.

With minutes to spare, as opposed to my usual hours early, hit the 5k. REALLY missed my peeps being there, but, I was and that's all that matters. Did well, not great, but hey, after a 10k 2 hours earlier...whatthefuck.

So, what does the Ragnar model have to do with it? Run in the am, run in the pm to get used to off hours endurance running.

And the feast @ the 5k? I didn't stick around. I left @ 2:15, @ that point they'd already been making us wait for half an hour. FUCK that. This is a really cool 5k, real community support (the Polish version of the Black Bed Stuy run), but, timing counts. So, off I went.

REALLY had fun, missed my peeps, but had a blast! And...got my treasure!

day 440

whew! THAT was close!!!

Decided to do the B.C.Dennis Cross 5k, NOT! Went to Islip, couldn't find the fucking race!!!! Awful directions, mapquest and google were pointless. While there was still time, doubled back, did AP. Glad I did. Need the miles instead of some bullshit 5k.

Manana, serious. 10k in the am, 5k in the pm. Need to rest.

day 439

tgif!!!!

Tough week on the job. Staff acting out, more grousing than usual. REALLY wish the select assholes would get with the program. We're well paid for a gig that really demands little exertion. My toughest job was Gelmart-loading/unloading tractor trailers for minimum wage. THAT was work. Here, we get well paid to sit on our asses. Poor us.

On the personal front, all is very well. I'm obviously not the king of drama re: the aging process. I embrace it and am very happy to be alive-if nothing else, it beats the alternatives. The birthday was a milestone I never thought I'd live to see, so, how could it be bad? But, what affected me was the social networking aspect. All sent their wishes, very nice. It's stands to reason; if my FB peeps ARE in fact my peeps, of course they'd be cool and be there with me that day. It was terrific. Really felt surrounded.

St.Francis this am, last of the "daily runs" until the weekend fun runs. Race sun am and pm. Should be interesting.

Monday, a holiday, YAY!!! The grass doesn't need mowing, did it last week, no real work to be done, I'm (relatively) free. Actually good to be me right now.

day 438

Happy Birthday!!!

Actually had a very nice day!

Started with a run, St.Francis, then off to work, lots of FB posts from peeps (thanks guys!!!), dinner that evening (coworker retired), then off to Roger Waters...again (he's amazing). THEN, home. It actually behaved, Stoney presented me with an angel food strawberry shortcake (HIS fave, and why not?), Shebitch actually behaved.

A good day.

This am, St.Francis + Kissena. 10+.

Looking @ Lisa and Deb, again teaches me to stick to The Plan. They run their races all out. That's a very good thing. THAT'S why they collect hardware, again, a VERY good thing. I don't. I ALWAYS have run (even marathons, I remember doing Suntrust, then running the next morning-just to see if I could) leaving something in The Tank. Always left a little bit to spare-knowing I planned to run the next day. HATE taking days off. Why? My peeps, again using Lisa and Deb as examples, have...what's that word..."homes." Me, I have "Toxichouse." They have places they enjoy spending quality time in. I have an environment I try to avoid, except to spend needed time with Stoney.

Would I LIKE to get hardware, HELL YES! But, proved I could already. There was a run by LIRRC in Eisenhower. Vince was there. Wanted to see if I could beat him. I did, with a sub 8. Did the skies open up? No. Was I any happier? No. Proved I could turn it on if I wanted to. Big whoop. Another benchmark was last year's Get to the Point. I was 200m from the finish line when I doubled back to finish the run with Gillian. Thought it'd be fun to finish together. It was, alot.

Can't imagine not running. It's way beyond therapy, it's centering.

day 437

not getting older...getting slower

ok, lived 21 years past what I should've. After doing the shit I did, oughta been dead decades ago. So far, so good.

...not to mention, should'a had zillions of diseases-not the least of which SHOULD'A been gotten from hangin' with the Times Square peeps when Times Square WAS "fun city."

So, all things considered, been a long great ride. LOVE the fact that I done everything ever wanted to, and then some. The kid who couldn't do a lap around the gym is doing marathons. The kid who was too fat to see his penis is both in shape and not too terribly unattractive. Nice.

So, how'd I celebrate? Did Spin class last night, good to see Richie and the usual suspects again. Then, off to Roger Waters. Nice.

This am, back to The Line. YAY!!! After too many days of rain, needed to get the miles in once again. We did well. Almost did the "no shirt" run, but a bit too much chill in the air. St.Francis, check. Birthday, check. Nice.

My ONE lament, and this IS impossible to remedy: Stoney's teenagerdom. He's @ that stage where he doesn't speak to me unless he turns to First Bank of Dad. I'm The Father, I'm the bad guy. I can deal with that, I know my role, but it still hurts. My lament: I REALLY miss when he slept next to me, his arm curled around/over me as he slept peacefully. THOSE were the BEST. Of everything I've done in over a half century, THAT was the shit.


***we each have our ways of noting how time passes, my latest: the "Entenmann's Half" is now the "Great South Bay Half," (I STILL remember taking Keith, he was shy re: grabbing munchkins, had his gameboy with him...), the Get to the Point run (longing/aching to have Keith with me to do the kid stuff, only to have Shebitch interfere), doing that race with DP and G, doing the Queens Grand Prix when running was treated as it should be-as a gift to be shared, Wednesday night spinning (and Monday, Tuesday, Thursday), making out @ Alley Pond against the tree, making out in The Blazer.....wonderful memories. The stuff of life.

Not one regret.

day 436

this is beyond ridiculous

yesterday, showers hold off juuust long enough to tease. Then BOOM, skies opened up. Dodged a bullet. Did Boot Camp. Glad I did. Feel the good kind'a sore.

This am, more FUCKING rain. GODDAMNIT. Ok, off to the gym. Elliped this am, tonight spin, then Roger Waters @ MSG. Cool.

*From the "you can't make up stuff this good" file: got into Facebook when my former students were planning a 20 year reunion. Next thing I know, I'm getting asked to "friend" a former co-worker. Put the two together,,,they all know each other! Turns out, the co-worker went to High School with my students. Mary Louis. Wow. Small world getting smaller. Good thing I got nothing to hide.

day 435

DAMN!!!

Was all ready to head out, dressed, bathroom break, when...when... RAIN!!! Goddamnit!!! I'm talkin' the skies opened up! THEN, @ approximately the time I'd finish, it stopped. Funny, really funny.

Could I use a day off? Hell yeah, but with The Big One a month away, now's NOT the time to slack off.

So...off to Boot Camp. Thank GOD for the gym!!!

day 434

fun run

Did the Forest Park 5k. Normal people would'a taken today off after yesterday's 1/2, but, with rain through and including Wednesday, hardly the time to take off. The Big One's a month away.

Everyone, except me, did well. Marlon and Deb placed. Leo had a sub 8. Me? I finished. Was actually glad to come in around 9:15.

Hadda do a drive by. It had clothes everywhere, literally. As in, wasn't even room to charge the crackberry. Even THAT spot was covered. Headed to Roosevelt Field for blood, lots of blood (Chain Letter), made Saw look like a Disney flick.

And Stoney? Was with his peeps, when asked if he wanted to see Social Network, chose to hang with his peeps. Hurts. Alot.

day 433

sucked, but not so much

did Grete's Gallop, the 1/2. The backstory: last night Shebitch decides to put away laundry @ 10:45, awakening me. Must be nice to get a full night's sleep.

Was on the fence re: drive or train, but, took the 4:05. THAT was the easy part. Unfortunately, got into Manhattan WAY too early...so..thought "what would a normal person do?" Went to breakfast. Knowing the run was almost 5 hours away (it was 5 am) and knowing I hadn't carbed, ordered a cheese omelet (toast n' home fries of course). Nice lil' coffee shop, unfortunately, there IS one in every crowd: one of the guests whined about his hash browns being burned and wouldn't pay the full check. Now, think: why didn't he send them back? EVERY patron called him an asshole. Must've been a plant. Why? I overtipped, as I'm sure everyone else did. Now, again, this coffee shop was on the wrong side of town. For some reason, i can NEVER get this East side/West side shit together. So, hadda walk through the park. Usually no biggie, but, for the calorically challenged.....Good thing I had b'fast.

Hooked up with DP, she was similarly early-her run started 45 mins before mine. Hooked up with Brotherfromanothermother. He came in @ 2:04, surprised, he usually smoked me. Sue REALLY fucked up, she came in 20 mins AFTER I did. Wow. I did my usual, sucked, but not so much, 2:15. Few 30 second walk breaks, had NO energy. Imagine how I would'a done if I hadn't taken a day off nor had breakfast?

In the back of my mind, I knew I had a 5k manana, so held a lil back.

Still, remember when Pret would make this one a regular part of the circuit. Pity some take themselves outta the fun. They are missed.

BEAUTIFUL day. So nice, when I got back to Toxichouse, I hadda do the lawn. After the ehavy rains, it needed it. Also, I feel doing that enabled me to atone for my sins (crappy time).

Hey, a half is a half. A mile is a mile.

day 432

wow!!!

Noah-like torrential downpours. Would'a been a great day to stay in bed, but, remember where I live? Headed out the door to nyc. Glad I did.

Got the numbers for manana's run, and saw The Social Network. Wow. Explains how Facebook becamse Facebook. AND, on the way outta the flick, was interviewed for a review by Youtube. Cool.