Day 1130

There'snoplacelikehomeThere'snoplacelikehomeThere'snoplacelikehome.....

Got up (for me) late, 4:30, dressed, hit the E train, back to the job.

Still sore from last night, but ok. No run this day. 1m manana.

Day 1129

Ohmmmmmm

Had a peaceful, lovely evening/night. Caught a flick @ Lincoln Plaza Cinema, then opera outdoors @ Lincoln Center (Salome). Light breeze in the air, actually cool. LOVELY!!!!! Then back to sleep, and this am, the fun starts.

Interviews. Assistant Directors. The pain is: all interviews have been packed into one day. Ouch. THEN, one of the biggest pests bailed (that one HAD been scheduled for manana, but since there were only 2, we tried to pack them in for today, successfully. THEN, the pest calls me last evening to bail. Fucking annoying.).

This evening, 4m run in Central Park. Nice way to wrap up this day's crap.

Day 1128

you really CAN'T write stuff this good

so, there I am @ Toxichouse, chillin' on the pc. Sybil trying to pick a fight, I ain't feeding into it. Sitting there on the pc, when, the sidewalk explodes!!!!! All of a sudden I see people scrambling to cop a spot on top of vehicles parked in front. WTF?????

Turns out, some putz had let himself in my backyard, Hulk escaped. If you saw Hulk you'd probably freak too-until you got to know the big mush.

This 40 something had led her 4 or 5 spawn to my place to check out where she used to live. The putz let himself into our backyard to do a visual. Can you imagine? Wish I'd had a rifle. You never saw people move to fast. Snaggletooth RACED out the door, as did other neighbors. What a bunch'a busybodies. Good hearted-they were trying to get Hulk back in. But still. And the yahoo who let himself into our yard? Deserved a shotgun blast. Amazing.

So, this am, got my miles. Good. Need the foundation. This eve head to Manhattan, staying until Fri am. Then, back to the job, do the 1m run Sat, then back to Manhattan to spend sat thru mon am (Manhattan Run sun am). Busy couple'a days.

Day 1127

strange, but good

Last night, awoke @ 1:30 am, bathroom, no sign of Stoney. Asked It, who was on the couch when he departed, "where is your son?" Response: "I dunno." Amazing. He was out all night. Great.

With this, when I awoke, it was raining. Lightly, but still....when I got to the job, still raining.........misting. Screw it, laced 'em up, got my miles. REALLY glad I did.

All the problems disappeared. Nice.

8/25/02

Ten years ago my mother died. Wow.

Thank GOD I got Mets tix for Pedrito, Stoney and I. If Pedrito hadn't mentioned it, I'd have not noticed. Criminal.

I really DO live in the Now.

Miss her daily, think of her constantly, especially on days like yesterday. She was our glue.

Day 1126

Back in my happy place

Pilates/Spin was fun, but...it ain't runnin'. SOOOOOOO happy to be back on The Line getting my miles!

Yesterday was a terrific set up. Ran St.Francis with Football Dad and his peep. SLOW, but we did it. Considering had the 5k the day before, was like an off day. Great to hang with peeps. Of course, this was done in typical Ruiz fashion: started 90 mins before the Striders. As we neared The Parkhouse, they were heading out. Yin/Yang.

Sybil was there when I got in (Stoney's with brotherfromanothermother), headed out going shopping-from which It never returned. Good. Allowed me to do the lawn then shower unfettered. The shit youze peeps take for granted-hangin' in your domicile, is but a mere rare treat for me.

Then, off to Pedrito's birthday dinner. Was fun. Priest was a no show. Big surprise. Doesn't even rsvp. NOW they see what I've been saying all along. Self centered asshole. But we bonded.

Then this am, got my miles. How cool is that?

Day 1125

What it's all about

Had a good time with my bro n' Stoney yesterday. Yes, it WAS a hassle: 5k in the am (Harlem), then Toxichouse to shower-Stoney was still sleeping, then to pick up Pedrito, then to the game, then back to drop off Pedrito, then back to Toxichouse. I was wiped. BUT, after all he did for me when I was a kid, the very least I could do. Well worth the effort.

We had GREAT seats-19th row. Did Stoney appreciate it? No. Spoiled fuck. But 1)the weather was great-no rain and cloud cover to contain the heat, 2)Stoney finally had his pulled pork sandwich   3)Pedrito behaved. A success. Pix below.

This am, meet Football Dad for a run @ AP, then off to Pedrito's birthday dinner.

Day 1124

:)!!!!!

Did the Percy Sutton 5k. DIDN'T totally suck, but can and need to do better. No walk breaks, but a water pause.

This day will be a shitload of running around. I'd gotten Mets tix for Pedrito, he insisted on Stoney coming-which I kind'a am pissed about. Lord knows he can't stand me, and spending $85 per ticket, least the asshole could do is say "thanks." PLUS, Pedrito's idea of hooking up is picking him up @ his place and driving in. Jeeeez. What a HUGE pain in the ass this will be. AND, the US Open is in town, AND parking costs $30. FUCK. So, $85 x 3, PLUS $30 parking=$285 to start. Fuck me.

But, I ran. I'm good.

Day 1123

Back to it!!!!!

An, almost, full running week. With the exception of Monday, back in the saddle!

The Feldenkrais worked well, I'm not as sore as I used to be. DO miss Pilates and Spin, but gotta get them miles!!!!!


Yesterday was big. Uber Boss and HIS boss were here. This is important because: in the past, we did a dog and pony show because we had guests. No mas. It really WAS a slap in the face of those putting in their daily hours to render treatment. Are we not worthy of the best? Just because off site staff visit, we should do more than our daily? No. Our daily should be the best.

And so, we did well. I was proud. Unfortunately, we DID have the usual shit hit the usual fan immediately before, during, and after. But we passed with flying colors!

And I got my miles. Life IS good.

Day 1122

THAT sucked

Yep, It went psycho, again. And yes, it's really a drag.

Wrapped up the workday yesterday, was hangin' @ Toxichouse. Now, remember how things work there. Dysfunction IS us. It keeps bananas in Its car because (GASP!) I might eat one. Coffee as well. Yet, in a rant, It'll rag on my eating habits. Yet, when I (GASP!!!) actually consume something from the fridge, it becomes hell on earth.

So, I left a container of coffee on the nightstand, next to the crackberry charger. It goes up to do god knows what. Of course, coffee gone. Surreal ain't it?

Where had It gone to? Since I was in, It was sitting in Its car, on the phone (apparently you can't make a phone call indoors. But I'm the crazy one????). Three times I ask why It grabbed the coffee, each response increasingly psychotic. Amazing. Utterly amazing. Of course it devolved into all the usual accusations, my favorite: I took Stoney's longboard. Astonishing. Another: it rags on my eating habits, I counter with It needing to cook and clean-of which It does neither. Useless. Truly useless.

And wait, it gets better! I'm trying to sleep, It follows me into the ebdroom to rage @ me. Actually accuses me of being noisy in the am. This coming from a person who sleeps til 10am and stays up all night.

And of coruse EVERYTHING is my fault. I never knew I was THAT powerful.

Thank GOD it didn't rain. Got my miles.

Day 1121

MORE gooder!!!!!!!

Yesterday was-almost-like a dream.  Got my miles first thing in the am, then off to attend a training. Nice thing of it was the training was a few hours, not the entire day. So, plenty of time to play. Caught the new Spike Lee flick, then off to Whole Foods to eat (I SHOULD get buybacks from them @ this point). Thereafter, Feldenkrais. Quite a full day. Wonderful.

This am, more of the same-NICE!!!! Though I was sorely tempted to take the day off, got my miles. Fortunately, rain never materialized, so no excuses. This, in addition to the gym playing games with its sched, resulted in my newfound freedom. Soooo  nice to get my miles again, a terrific groove. Almost forgot what it was like. Not that every other day wasn't good, it was. However, lets remember why I started alternating: injury. Though my race times don't reflect it, I'm no longer injured. My head feels SOOO much better. There really IS running and everything else.

*******Though it IS a dream come true to be asked to run Spin class @ the gym. Fat kid who couldn't do a lap around the gym makes out ok!!!!!

Day 1120

Yin'd again

So, was annoyed that my precious script wasn't followed yesterday (BUT, I DID predict that things would fall apart when they fucked with the sched, sure enough they did. even the fucking instructor was late for a class rescheded to start 30 mins LATER!!!!!).

BUT, God covered me. What did I learn? The head over there wanted to know if I wanted to lead Spin classes. Is that cool or what? NOW I can die a happy man (after I qualify for Boston). Is that amazing or what??? And here is a lesson on women: my female peep needed over a week to tell me. First she said "_______asked me something about you, but I can't remember." Right. Why are women so friggin' jealous? Us guys, earth is our toilet, we're easily pleased. Women, a whole other thing.

So, I was out of sorts having to take a forced rest day. Took my vehicle in for service. Turns out the check engine light was right, some major shit, ALL covered by warrantee. AND a free rental. I been Yin'd!!!!!!!

Thanks God.

Today, get my miles predawn, then off to Manhattan (yes, again), then Feldenkrais. (and yes, again, Whole Foods).

Day 1119

Exercisus Interruptus

KNEW this wasn't gonna work out well, and it didn't.

They're futzing with the sched @ the gym, so for the next 2 weeks, out of the groove. Again, this isn't a bad thing, your journey IS, after all, your journey. This am was gonna be the beginning of the end-Pilates. Last class for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, no one was there when class was to have started, nor was anyone there 5 minutes later. So, I split. Again, not an entirely bad thing. After 10m in Prospect Park, a day off wouldn't totally suck, BUT I WAS primed for a workout. Fuck it. Showered, went to the job. Glad I did. Annoyed as HELL @ the gym, but that's not their problem.

Day 1118

Glad I did it!!!

Dawned on me, the Battle for Brooklyn (10m in Prospect Park) is the Cherry Tree 10m. DUH!!!!! Why this didn't dawn on me before, I haven't a clue. BUT, I did well. This one is 3x around Prospect Park, with a challenge: computer mats @ the bottom and top of THE HILL. You won a prize if you were either fastest up the hill or most consistent.

The good news: I didn't havta walk any of it! Crosstraining every other day and Feldenkrais paid off. The bad news: my time STILL sucked, but not as bad as it would've if I'd walked. AND, the people who put it on were great. Wonderful enthusiasm, i.e. the talking head said @ one point the British would attack (remember, "The Battle for Brooklyn."). What was it? PERFECTLY placed, @ the mid point of THE HILL, babes dressed in British flags hosing you down with super soakers. Not MY cup of tea, actually a pain in the ass running around it, but I didn't havta walk any of it.

Also, my squeeze cream cheeses worked like a charm. Nice.

Then, off to Manhattan, caught a niche flick, to the village to eat (I LIVE in organic salad bars), then back to Brooklyn to get my truck, stop @ the job to nail down some drama, then home. Did the lawn, and here we are! A complete weekend.

Day 1117

Go with the flow!


Was undecided re: take a day orr or run, with manana's 10m-in Prospect Park no less, a day off wouldn't suck. So, woke up, rain. Thanks God! However, "a day off"=Spin. Today's instructor is a pitbull, so running might've actually been easier.

Now the quandry, train to the race or drive? Havta flip a coin manana. For some odd reason, mta always wears me out. Play it by ear.

Day 1116

You never know.....

WAS down about Stoney wasting his life/time/summer, not taking advantage of all the opportunities he has @ his disposal (imagine a slide-a LONG slide-pool in  town and you NEVER used it???), not working, smoking, basically a slacker. I headed outta Toxichouse yesterday, on my way back...he walking....WITH a BABE!!!!! God bless him. I was impressed. FINALLY, a load off my mind. Good for him!

And now, the adjustments begin. This am was a weird Spin class, good, but weird. The next couple'a weeks are "intermission" @ the gym-no early stuff, only yoga. Not good enough. But, there IS always running!!!!! So, tis am was like the beginning of the seperation process. Hey, it is what it is.

Day 1115

REALLY centered.

Was pissed that the gym was altering its sched. You get into a great groove, then the rug gets pulled from under you. Not cool. But, gotta go with the flow. Initially I started alternate shit due to the injury, I can adapt.

Had a very good evening yesterday, meeting in Manhattan, so, did a Feldenkrais atm workshop. Then, back to Toxichouse. Was smiling all the way back. AND, got the 6:53 train. Nice.

This am, got my miles. NOW I'm refocused.

Day 1114

You GOTTA be kidding!!!!!

Wrapped up the day yesterday, back to Toxichouse, empty box w/packaging strewn about. Hmmmm. Upon further inspection, Stoney got a "gamer's keyboard." WTF???  Understand: he blew $50 on 2 stinkin' t-shirts, then $68 on a keyboard to facilitate his sitting on his ass. Amazing. But yet, no longboard. Really good.

This am, odd. They announced the "interim" sched for the gym. Now, I was in a great groove with running every other day (started with injury recovery, then grew into a great fitness sched), with Pilates and Spin on the opposite days. This new sched? Nothing. Shit. They don't understand you can't futz with a sched. Annoys the crap outta me.

WAS nice that I was asked to supply cd's for Spin class. Takes me back to the good old days.

So, this am, off to Manhattan for meetings, then possibly stick around for Feldenkrais-play it by ear.

Day 1113

JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!

If things worked out the way It wanted, everything would hinge on the feeling of the moment. All was calm yesterday. Stoney actually spoke, indicating a shirt he bought with the gift certificate I got him @ the local slacker skater store. I asked if he wanted a longboard, he gave a nondescript answer. As in: why bother saving for something, much rather spend spend spend. Moron. So, instead of applying it to a longboard, he got 2 t-shirts. Dumbass.

But, we digress. It comes in, intending to bbq, notices, no sauce. Now take a moment, let this sink in. Does It ever make a shopping list? Check to see what's in the fridge? No. Remember the other day, freaked because It'd boiled franks, without checking for mustard. So, back to our story. FREAKS out, explaining Its usual tired line "we have to do something." My answer, "to what???" It wanted a seperation. I, of course, wished It well, and asked when It was leaving. Answer "I have a son to raise" (right), and my response "and I have a mortgage to pay." All this because It didn't check to see if It had what It needed. Moron. Ten minutes later, asked if I wanted any chicken or a hot dog. Really, you canNOT make this stuff up.

So, this am, got my miles. Felt GREAT!!!!!!!!! After doing Pilates, and Spin, the payoff is evident. AND, timing purrrrrrfect. Manana it's s'posed to rain. No prob, first thing in the am: Pilates and Spin. Works out perfectly!

Everyone needs to run, the world'd be a better place.

Day 1112

knew it

Had a nice couple of days...then...THEN.....THEY came back. Actually yesterday wasn't bad. BUT, woke up to a Stoney withdrawl slip for First Bank of Dad. THAT wasn't the prob. What WAS painful was the writing. He decided to need Midol. Translation: was PISSED I actually (gasp) used a glass to rinse after brushing my teeth. Ain't I a bastard??? Little shit.

BUT, this am, Pilates and Spin. So, again, life is good. Feels ok.

Day 1111

(been a long time n'est pas?)

Did another 5k this am (the shit I do to avoid boredom). Had some ambivalence-the house to myself/do AP/go to manhattan...too many options. So, last night, painted myself into a corner-preregged. Glad I did. As soon as I left the house, sprinkles, doubled back, shut the windows, headed back out. After yesterday's 5k, a day off wouldn't be a bad thing, but it WAs only a 5k. So, being preregged got me off my ass.

Was a fun race. These littler ones are a blast. 3 minutes faster than yesterday, but yesterday WAS tough.

Also, funny that the flyer for today said "shirts for first 500 preregistered." I'd be amazed if there were that many in total.

Likewise, water and oranges @ the finish. i.e. You KNOW it's not a huge run when the munchies are lacking. But, it wasn't about that, and no one groused.

This eve, THEY come back. Dreading it, but, they DO exist here. Thankful I had a couple'a days of peace.

Day 1110

Intended to do AP and get my miles, but felt I had some 'splainin' to do.

Anita and I are exactly alike, except she's female...and single......and white...and.....otherwise, EXACTLY alike. Both of us are single parenting teens, and face the same challenges-how to "be there" for your monsters who hate you, and putting you own selfish needs second. Only major dif-she's actually mateless, as opposed to having a 72 pound weight around her neck.

She texted me yesterday asking if I wanted to go to Jones Beach for a concert. I should learn to just say yes. Last 2 instances of her invitation were the Beach Boys, and before that, Bob Seger. Neither of which I would'a got tix for, but with her, it was a blast! How can you NOT like either. Last evening was Loverboy, Journey, and Pat Benatar.

After Thurs, I needed to recenter myself, so I declined. Should'a gone. It didn't rain, the night was beautiful-unless you lives in Suffolk, in which case there was a tornado. Shows you how localized this shit was.

Instead, I passed out @ 8 ish. Needed the rest, but, compared to spending time with a peep? AND, my big thing, back when It was normal, I got concert tix for us, and our friends. Now that It went psycho, and our friends are Its groupies, alot came into focus, i.e. does Ticketmaster sell tix ONLY to me? Did any of Its groupies EVER buy tix for us?

So, Anita lookin' out meant alot.

This am, did a lcoal 5k to physically apologize for being stupid, knowing she'd be there.

Glad I did, but again, shows me what a provincial load of shit Long Island is. Same faces, same people, same bullshit. BUT, I have some really good friends here, so it made the bullshit worth it.

Needed the AP miles, but there's always the work week. Not SUCH a bad thing to NOT run myself ragged (thank you Feldenkrais).

Came home, did the lawn, saw a flick, now I can chill.

How lovely to NOT havta avoid my home. Until THEY come back manana and the drama starts anew. Oh well, a couple'a great days.

Day 1109

NIIIICE!!!!!

1)Joan Jett last night: incredible. I took my time-last year I spent all afternoon on line for front row, my back made me pay THAT price. THIS year, got there @ 6:10, checked the local shops, picked up a folding backpack chair for $16, got in line, minutes later we went in. Got a GREAT spot. A peep from the job was there (he hung on the boardwalk), we were the only 2 non-Lesbians. Joan kicked ass!!!!!!! The last BIG show I saw her do was the Run Hit Wonder in 2005, this was on a par. Unfortunately, the LIRR was a PAIN!!!  In bed by midnight, but my back was intact and had a BLAST!!!!!

2)Actually got up as scheduled this am. Hit the gym, see a familiar face. After approaching and retreating 3x, I asked "aren't you Dennis Walcott?" My gym is HIS gym. I told him I recognized him from the pic in the Queens paper, of him running on Union Tpke. Introduced myself as prez of the Striders. HELLUVA nice guy. Runner, triathlete. Cool!!!!! And where does he run? Right. Like I said, the guy is cool!!!

Got my Spin class in, then off to Manhattan. Anita texted me, asked if I wanted to hit a concert tonight, she's LOVELY to hang with, but no, not tonight. Outdoors, threat of storms? No. Instead, hit Feldenkrais in Manhattan, then home.

Nice, VERY nice.

Day 1108

Better

Niiiice evening yesterday. What a pleasure to actually work during the day and actually relax @ home. Truly lovely. Unfortunately, it takes my son and his mother NOT being there, to make it happen. Sad, but really nice to go home, pet the dog, and chill. Of course, before It went away, took the time to decrapify Its car, meaning: tons of dirty/wet/stinky clothing thrown haphazardly in the living room. Good. When It returns, the smell will prove most enticing.

This am, got my miles. Felt good. Better yet, the Feldenkrais offering really paid off. Time still sucked, but running improved.

Tonight, back to Coney Island. Rain IS predicted for tomorrow, possibility for tonight. This, too, works. Manana is Spin, indoors. I'll be exhausted, but compared to Pilates, Spin is muuuch easier.

Day 1107

Yin/Yang

Got my Pilates and Spin. Ok, so far so good.

Sybil taking Stoney upstate for a couple'a days, still good-house to myself.

Just in fear of what I'll find when I walk through the door-they leave the place a mess.

Day 1106

Dragging

Only did Pilates yesterday, couldn't stay for Spin since hadda be in NYC for the first of a 2 day training. Killed me, was looking @ the clock the whole time I SHOULD'A been in Spin. But, did what I hadda do. At least I had Pilates.

The training is excellent, just a pain in the ass if you don't live in the city. And yes, was tempted to stay for Feldenkrais, but hadda be normal, a lemming, and enter the sardine can yesterday evening and head home. Of course, first hit the job and nailed it down-can't let anything go unattended.

Sybil and Stoney going away for a couple of days, after It gets Its car inspected + a/c fixed. Inspection lapsed June. heeee heeeeeee heeeeeee.

REALLY tired, sitting in a room all day wears you out. But at least it IS a great training, and in Union Square!!!!! Really can't get away can I?

Day 1105

Outside my comfort zone

...but not ENTIRELY bad.

Spending the next 2 days in Manhattan-business, not pleasure. Throws everything outta whack. CAN do Pilates this am, Spin, no. I'd be late. Sucks, but hey, considering the weekend's festivities, rest isn't totally bad.

Day 1104

:)!!!!!!!

REALLY a nice way to wrap a terrific weekend.

Did the Brooklyn Bridge 5k, a.k.a. The Keith Ferguson 5k, a.k.a. A Curtis Race. Always fun, always great people. Down side: ALWAYS steaming. But, really cool. Time sucked, but this one's not about time, it's about supporting a peep (where's Quantum?????? they sued to score the fucking thing, now can't even be bothered to fucking walk it. Nice brotherhood!!!!!). VERY well attended, and placed me perfectly: NYC. another great day in Manhattan.

Came back, did the lawn, now chill.

Sybilw ent off about mustard. yes, mustard. Hasn't been any in the fridge for days, yet reamed me out for not telling It. amazing.

MY weekend was magnificent. Sybil's, who cares.

Stoney? With brotherfromanothermother smoking weed/camping.

Day 1103

Hard work, but worth it!!!!!

With Stoney hangin' with his peep, got nuttin' keepin' me to Toxichouse. So, predawn 7 miles @ The Line, back to shower, then LIRR to NYC.

Had a blast!!!!!!!!!

Lost weekend, with the evening spent @ Feldenkrais.

Manana, see my running peeps @ Brooklyn Bridge.

:)

Tough taking care of me, without any support or help, but, it is what it is.

Day 1102

T.G.I.F.

Made it through the week. Now, it's downhill from here.

Strange 24 hours. With Stoney hangin' with brotherfromanothermother, Toxichouse has no soul. Only a shell. Was tempted to hit a flick, but I've been good (movie=chocolate=gumming up the machine). Would'a been a matter of getting out for no purpose. So, with the place to myself, I hung. Hit the sack early-was nice to be able to do so with no arguments, no attitude, no acting out behaviors. But the place truly lacks life when the bastard isn't there. Magically, Sybil grows silent-no "your son....." It can't use him against me. Totally undermines any slings and arrows It could send my way. So, rather than tend to Its house, It stays out til after nightfall. Good.

This am, Spin. Was terrific to be with peeps @ that hour (6am?????) sharing a goal.

:)

Day 1101

Heavy sigh.

So, being the kinda person to NOT wanna miss out on anything, went BACK to Feldenkrais yesterday evening. Intended to hit a concert after, but it was outdoor, and raining. No thanks. The class was great, only 3 of us there. My usual schedule is out of whack, a good thing. Translation: Comedy Central is mixing up its sched, so 30 Rock is not on this week. Some weeks it is, some not. Good. This forced me to confront my problem with wasted time/effectively using time/avoiding Toxichouse. Thus, went to class yesterday evening.

This am, got my miles good. REALLY needed it. Why? Last evening, Stoney and Sybil went to the movies. Let that sink in. A 17 year old male has no problem going out with mommy, but to bond with his dad........No, you can't write shit this good. It IS a matter of thinking It's damaging me. It IS done out of spite. It is what it is. Hurts more than I can describe, but I know my role: bad cop. I do it all day @ work.

Hurts.

No one knows what it's like..........

This is, again, why peeps are so important. Thank God I'm surrounded by genuine peeps.

Day 1100

Helluva milestone ain't it?

This am, Pilates and Spin. Felt really really good.

Last night, not so much. Again, Stoney being a dick, but I'm used to that. Strangely enough, the stranger he behaves, the better Sybil behaves. Hmmmmmm. Also, It knows It's to blame for the push pins incident, so It shutstheHELLup when it comes up in conversation. Not ONE person I mention it to thinks it's a normal thing to do. Again, why would you intentionally damage a wall/ceiling?????

Hadda fight myself last night. Unfortunately, you can't live in gyms forever. There was a really good class being offered @ The Feldenkrais Center, but really, get a grip. If you wanted, you could spend every evening there. Too much. Every offering is valuable, but you DO havta go home sometime.

Funny thing is, obviously, you DO feel better after. Each class is an amazing experience. Again, not unlike running.