day 948

:(

It's coming! Today, 'round noon, snow @ first, then rain. Dayum. Fortunately, it'll all be rain with no snow sticking. BUT, looks like this am's run was the last. Gonna be forced to ellip manana.

This am was another for the record books!!!!! Long sleeves and shorts. REEEEEALLY liking this global warming thing.

day 947

Hmmmmmmmm

Get back to Toxichouse, what's on the fridge? Gas bill, as in "notice to disconnect." Lovely. Told you, Sybil's ABSOLUTELY useless. THIS time, I cut my losses, paid the damned thing. Just not worth the trouble for $402. What SLAYS me is neither Stoney nor Sybil have a clue about finances/budget. It will be tethered to a bottle of Snapple, yet insists pleading poverty. Amazing.

Adding insult to injury, no House!!!!! That dreaded Daytona preempted it. SHIT!

But, this am, delightful! Long sleeves and shorts. Yummmmmm.

day 946

straaaaange!

GREAT morning for a run. Got off a bit late-after tying up loose ends on the job, was a few mins late, but did ok. Ran into my Dim Sum peeps, again God bless 'em. Barely speak ANY English, but enough to say "Alley Pond." Running truly IS universal.

Had a SHIT load of crap to deal with on the job. Since I'm multitasking, there's no "me" to delegate to. All the other facilities have a boss AND assistant director. Lots to do. Not a bad thing, I really love what I do.

What irks the CRAP outta me is 1)Shebitch gives credit to-literally-ANYONE for even the smallest thing. Yet, in view of what I do, nothing. In fact, scorn, AND turning my son against me-except when $$$ is needed, and 2)people who look to others before doing something, i.e. "why doesn't _______ do it?" If I had that mentality the facility would crumble. Not to mention, Toxichouse.

day 945

better!!!

Race pace yesterday SUCKED. 10:31, BUT, I did it! Wasn't in any rush (no shit!!!), but wanted a good run and a Q. Got both. The fun part was hangin' with the peeps. I had Deb's number, she was asking Irish Joe if he'd seen me. Now let that sink in. Thousands of runners, and I'm STILL not able to isolate. It was really lovely. Not to worry, we hooked up (she kicked my ASS in the race, but it wasn't about that).

I'd driven in with Anita, we had a blast. THEN, went to Manhattan to play for a few blissful hours of no worries/no Shebitch.

This am? The Line-cold, but good. Did some male bonding with the Renegades and Elik, then off to see Pedrito. Really a good day.


***AND, who do I bump into yesterday @ prospect Park (as if meeting Deb and Joe wasn't cool enough?) My Dim Sum peeps. SOOO glad I do Alley Pond. In SPITE of me, I have peeps. Bless 'em!

day 944

so much for good intentions

Had my "what's become usual" Friday off (too many hours, gotta whittle 'em down). WAS planning a run, then movie, then...who knows, but, was not to be. Woke up, pouring precip...so, plan B. Hit the gym, elliped, then off to Manhattan. First a flick, then off to pick up numbers for this am's run.

Before the flick, Pedrito calls. He's losing it, stir crazy. So hit the flick, got the numbers, back to toxichouse to refuel, then off to Pedrito's. For HIM, glad I went, but for ME, not so much. His wife is a bitch. Perfect for him. But otherwise, a bitch. THIS is why I didn't visit him previously-years ago, I detached when she went NUTS over my reading (casually) a piece of paper on their dining room table. Literally, she bitched about "how dare I..." "invasion of privacy..." IT WAS A PIECE OF PAPER IN PLAIN VIEW (for the record, on which was written their bill for Jose cutting their lawn), like it was some fucking state secret. Goddamned nut job.

So, why did it suck? Again, glad I dropped by for him. But, she is one judgemental twat. Never ever worked, divorced, has a million issues (i.e. when did you last hear of someone who hadda peel garbanzo beans-who the FUCK has the time???It's like peeling m n' m's). We were discussing how whacked Toxichouse is, she utters "why don't you just leave, it's not like you're a presence anyway?" As if she has the right to judge? As if her input was sought? She did the single parent thing, thus obviously can't grasp the need of a male presence in the home.

Amazing. Really amazing.

Thank GOD for running.

day 943

DAYUM!!!

Rain, rain and...RAIN!!! The streak is o-v-e-r. Not such a bad thing. no days off this week, a rest day won't hurt...but. WILL gym it anyway. Just some ellip to keep it together.

Pedrito called, going stircrazy. I hear that. what I don't get: he's housebound all the time anyway, though some would call it "nesting." Unless he's off on a cruise or a weekend away, when he's home, he's home.

But I understand. CHOOSING to be there as opposed to NEEDING to be there. Sounds familiar.

(fucking rain is POURING!!! Glad I'm late getting out-day off-I'd have been caught @ the turnaround).

day 942

TGIF

Shit week, when Sybil came out with that "you're gonna die old and alone" it really really hurt. No one knows the crap I tolerate in the name of being there for my son, so he doesn't grow up in total chaos. And no one should know. It's not right to do as Sybil does: air every aspect of detritus in an effort to besmirch the reputation of another. I do what I do because to do otherwise would not be right. Period. But it DOES hurt.

This am, got my miles in. Rain's predicted for later/manana am. So, my week is complete. This am really could'a gone with short sleeves, but hey, let's not get sick.

***And worst of all, It goes to support someone whose hubby went skiing????? He's entitled to vacation, and me????? Really, amazing. THAT'S what REALLY stings, everyone else has EVERY consideration, and me? I regularly get torn another new one.

day 941

utterly amazing

From the "how mental can you be" pages: yesterday, Sybil goes on a tear about (no joke) "you're a toilet paper thief!!!" Hallucinating that I "stole" 2 rolls. This, from the person (barely that) that went ballistic that I threw out some rags. Amazing, utterly amazing. And of course, that was only the presenting problem. THAT grew to a rant about how "you'll die lonely and alone." Hmmm...don't we all? Again, THAT from the same person who 24 hours previously had uttered "Can we agree to be nice?" Surreally mental.

This am? Again, BEAUTIFUL!!! Didn't even need the windbreaker. Long sleeves, shorts, gloves. Yummmmmmmmmm.

day 940

No, Virginia, you CAN'T make this stuff up!!!

So, where was Sybil? We KNEW It'd be with a groupie, under the excuse of "taking care of....." while Toxichouse crumbles/fridge is empty/Stoney is clueless re: his Portal's whereabouts.

Know WHY It was there? The husband was away skiing. "He deserved a vacation." Umm...and...I don't??? Lovely to be taken for granted. I begrudge HIM nothing, he's a hard working guy. BUT, he does construction. He works, and leaves. I'm available constantly, always on call, and have to be there as a presence to my son. BUT, if I should spend a night away, that's translated to "abandonment."

SOOOOO glad I got to give the 411 to Pedrito and Angela. At least 2 people know wassup.

Amazing, utterly amazing.

So, this am...RAN! Felt great! 32 degs, shorts, shirt/windbreaker, gloves. REALLY needed it. The beauty of crisp/cold is: no piss breaks, you press on. Good for pace.

day 939

progress!!!

After the 10m yesterday, prolly should'a taken today off...but...the temps were purrrrrrfect! 34 degs, shorts, long sleeves, windshirt, gloves. REALLY felt good. AND, after yesterday, 6-7m doesn't feel too bad.

Shebitch? Dunno. STILL spending nights out. Good.

Glad Pedrito got this bullshit firsthand. We've def grown closer.

Odd thing: Priest? Dunno where HE is, yet, I'm known as "m.i.a. brother."

day 938

THAT was odd

Shebitch didn't come back last night. Went out, then...whothefuckknows????? Good. Had a quiet night. Downside: would HELP if our child knew where his portal was.

This am? Prospect Park 10m. Felt HORRIBLE leaving Stoney sleeping, however, knowing he'd just be waking by the time I got back.

Did ok. Was ready to just do 2 loops, then split, but then it wouldn't be official. So did 2 good loops, one crap loop. Came in @ 1:44+. Ok for a training run. Rob had the best line of the day: (as he and his relay peeps headed back, passing me as I was on my finishing loop) "next year make some friends n' do the relay." Wiseass.

Then off to see Pedrito. He's trying to take a hostage, but he IS the social one after all.

Finally, back to Toxichouse.

An odd weekend, thank GOD it's over. (not even gonna waste a nanosecond describing the foolishness the job brought on. SIX phone calls today alone).

day 937

looking good!

This am, 3 x 2 race. This is where I first bumped into Pret. Now long gone-so much for sticktoitiveness, I'm still here. Funny part, you can claim an injury, run The Line, yet not do a lousy 2 mile relay?

Brotherfromanothermother, DP, and I. The Embarassing Stains (great name eh, sort'a STICKS to ya?).

Looks to be a nice morning. Not cold, no snow, no rain. Good.

Then, off to see bro. 2 more days, then I get my life back.

Bro's before ho's. Sybil's tending to Its sick groupie, so much for "family," as It disregards Pedrito (First Bank of Pete) and drives throughout the northeast in a bid to feel needed. God forbid you get a job. You've no idea the bills this bitch has. And not ONE of them a necessity.

Thank GOD for running.

*and, among many, one thing that tears me up: "and you wonder why my friends think..." like I ever gave a FUCK what anyone EVER thought??????? Especially the suckers who actually buy Its bullshit? Even First Bank of Angela is aware It abandoned Stoney since age 8 to selfishly hit the beach. Uh, HELLO, you're a parent?????? Go teach religion bitch.

day 936

tomato/tomaaaaahto

Got up, coffee, internet, out the door. So far, so good. Rain on windshields, liiiiight mist...but still.....

Got to the job, touched base, headed out. Knowing I had 3 pr of running shoes (throwaways) in the truck, headed to The Line. Got to St.Francis, so far so good, then...THEN...RAIN! NOT FUNNY! Fortunately, it was in my face. This was a good thing, though uncomfortable, as my back was dry, hence, getting back into the vehicle was easy-cloth seats when soaked SUUUUUCK.

So, got my miles and glad I did. If I'd been normal, and took advantage of my day off to sleep in, would'a been caught in the rain and bailed. This was, got my miles.

Rough weekend ahead. 2 mile relays manana, then 10m sunday. THJAT one's a ball breaker. 3 loops of Prospect. Still, better than a nanosecond with Shebitch.

day 935

this one was a struggle, but made it!

Chaos @ the job, you can deal with. Insanity @ home, you can deal with. Outside anarchy, you can deal with. All 3? A bit much. AND, unfortunately, this is the dead zone for new movie releases. Can only run so long/so far.

This am, couple'a valentine hearts in the living room. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. It got 'em for Itself, the day after. Fuckin' pathetic. Notice, of course, nothing done for First Bank of Dad. Really hurts. Especially now, knowing Angela and Pedrito know the real deal, after having been fed bullshit for so long.

Got my miles, precip holding off until noon. Good. Was tough hauling my ass out there, really wanted to do nothing, but hadda. Glad I did.

day 934

salving wounds

Valentine was rough. REALLY rough.

HAD bought a card for Stoney to give to Sybil, but was not to be. First, Stoney breaks my stones about spending $$$, THEN Sybil went off big time. I had the BALLS to consume some chicken that was in the fridge. "That was for Nancy." Again, let that sink in. It'll cook for groupies, but they that exist under the same roof????? Proceeded to tear me a new one for not visiting constantly while It was hospitalized. Remember, this WAS 9 years ago, AND I maintained a job/a son/cleared our debts. Amazing. Makes you feel really good about working all day and coming home to THAT. (and no, of course, First Bank of Dad received nothing).

So, no prob. Never gave the card, took the scratch off cards I bought to place within the card, AND WON!!!!!

Funny God, real funny.

The redeeming feature: seeing me visiting Pedrito is making It NUTS. Good. Bitch never had family. So, uses mine to play the victim card and leetch $$$. Fortunately, they got Its number.

*** Side note: Stoney is blissfully unaware. When I pressed him to find uot why he has a bug up his butt about (gasp!!!) my sitting in MY living room in MY house, he indicated THAT was his "alone time." Upon discussion, he indicated he must interface all day, that was his solitude time. He pointed the finger to me and indicated his perception of what I do, which was of course WILDLY off kilter. I explained I gotta be constantly available to 26 patients and 24 staff, thereafter, on call always, thereafter, the object of Bitch's scorn-THEN my son makes me feel unwelcome IN MY OWN LIVING ROOM. Hope some of that sunk in. Moron.

This am, 41 degs. YUMMMMM. Needed it. When I split Toxichouse, there was evidence of precip on windshields, but nothin' comin' down. Yet, on the way to the job, rain. Dayum. (not that a day off would be such a bad thing, but as we know, the run is more for the head). Got to the job, liiiiight rain, nice. Got my miles.

Big weekend: Bethpage Relays and Cherry Tree 10m. Work it boy!!!!!!!

day 933

you KNEW that'd hurt!!!

Valentine's Day sucks. An artificial day made to make $$$. Hurts. Seeing Pedrito n' Angela only serves to reinforce this. Comparing them with the hell I live in...well...you can guess how I feel.

Yesterday, something possesses me to attempt to sit on the couch in the living room. Stoney makes me feel most unwelcome. Now, again, let that sink in. You make your FATHER feel unwelcome in his own house.

Then, he has the balls to hit on First Bank of Dad for $$$. You can guess how that ended.

But, this am, I ran. Life is good. Sweatshirt and shorts. Nothing else matters.

***was nice @ the gym this am. 2 peeps asked how the Empire State Building Run Up went. Nice of them to care. Peeps is good.

day 932

success!!!

This weekend was tough. When you go see the Star Wars 3d flick, you KNOW you're in bad need of entertainment/diversion. Between Sybil being Sybil (latest rage: I was putting a cushion behind the couch, to protect against wall damage. Apparently It preferred damaging the wall. Nevermind that the wall is one I constructed, no respect for that. Better to have yet another psychotic break) and visiting Pedrito, I truly feel my time is no longer my own.

Visiting Pedrito is a pleasure. In addition to all he has done for me, he is a wonderful person. AND, a nice side benefit: Sybil sees I'm there as often as I can, as opposed to when It was in hospital.

This am? COLD, again. Hey, it IS winter, but this is getting tiresome. Got my miles, good there. But, you really gotta work twice as hard to NOT freeze.

day 931

so, It goes from demanding "what'r you gonna do about..." attempting to push buttons re: divorce. Of course I answered "gonna go to sleep, wake up, run, then see my brother." Fucking bitch. Let It either shit or get off the bowl. Grounds for divorce are abuse, abandonment, adultery. Can't get me on any of those. Of course the backstory: It's broke, debts piling up. So, of course I'm Satan. Good. Now, of course the educated reader would question: "this is how a religious ed teacher treats Its spouse, who's brother has just experienced a tragedy?" Or better "this is how I treat the sole breadwinner, who must enter the workplace and lead?" Nice.

THIS is why, if I don't get the Director's gig, no loss. Fuck it.

This am? COLD!!!!! 22 + wind. Sweats + windshirt. Jeeeeeez. Then went to see my bro. Great man. Makes my day seeing him.

day 930

good karma

Woke up to piss @ 1 something am, nothing, no snow no nuttin'. Got up to wake up @ 4, snow. OK, it HAD been predicted. Checked the Long Beach website, nothing about postponing. So, off we went.

Glad I went. By race time it was on the cusp of shorts or___so, went with full sweats. Better be too warm. As it was "only" a 4m, didn't kill myself. Since it WAS snowing, the boardwalk was closed, we ran on the streets.

Glad I went. If it was raining, if I hadn't preregged, would'a stayed in. Got a good workout in, went to see Pedrito. My day's complete.

day 929

you really CAN'T make up this stuff!

Ok, did the Empire run, stayed in Manhattan overnight.....you KNEW what was coming next. 'Round 2:30 yesterday, as he's heading home from school, Stoney texts me asking if I was coming home....let that sink in.....got it yet? Correct. First Bank of Dad wasn't home, so he had no lunch money. She who shops as a hobby, she who is attached to a bottle of Snapple steadfastly refuses to do a goddamned thing. BUT, there's always money for bullshit. So, he hadda hit on a peep for $$$. Pathetic.

Best of all, now that my bro and I are close again, he dishes the dirt, i.e. Shebitch seeking handouts from them. REALLY pathetic.

This am, back to it. Hit The Line, felt great.

Take in an early flick, then off to see my bro.

Tomorrow promises to be interesting. Snow predicted to start tonight. 4m manana. We'll see.

day 928

:) !!!!!

Had the Empire State Building Run Up yesterday. REALLY glad I did it, though "one and done" sums it up.

Got a room @ the Vanderbilt Y to make my life easier, it was either that or head home late, get up exhausted.....Worked all day, then headed to nyc. Checked in, went to the AMC 25 (runner check in wasn't 'til 7pm), caught a flick, then headed over.

WHAT a crowd scene!!!!! Stands to reason. About 1,200 people, run started @ 8, everyone going off in 5 to 10 second intervals.

(now, remember: $100 for the joy of destroying your knees)

There was palpable excitement in the air.

Was standing next to Wittenberg pre-race, listening to her chat with runners, main advice: "use your arms." As in: pull yourself up with the handrails.

So, headed out. MY number (996) went off bet 9-9:15. The building hadda be cleared by 10. Good motivation.

I DIDN'T totally suck. Headed to the start, I was heartened by the building itself, harkening back to my mother taking us there, as well as several other sights. God bless her, hope she was proud.

EVERYONE cautions you against shooting your load. They were right. No matter how careful you are, you go out hot. Stupid error. After 20-25 flights, I was dead. Trudged up the stairs using my arms to pull myself up the handrails. One obnoxious prick yelled "move" as I asked "which way," as in "which side do you want me to move to?" Asshole. But, he was the only one. Actually passed 4-5 people.

Got to the top, didn't even look out. The scene WAS gorgeous, from what I COULD see it was snowing (heavily @ that altitude)and the view must'a been breathtaking. BUT, not as breathtaking as the run and the desire to get the HELL out.

Came in 7 minutes faster than I'd predicted.

Really gotta hand it to the logistics peeps, VERY well managed. AND, the staff @ the Empire State Building couldn't have been cooler.

Got mky medal, my cool shirt.

But alas, one and done. Got that outta my system. But it IS something all should do.

Then back to my room, slept VERY well (although DID havta get up 3x to pee). Checked out @ 5:45, STILL made it to the job early.

And yes, Pedrito was on my mind the entire time.

day 927

Yin/Yang

Hadda adjust my schedule this am. Couldn't get my morning fix, as the Empire State Building Run Up is this evening. Sucks. REALLY wanted to run, but hey, later I'm sure I'll be glad I didn't.

The big question will be: stay in nyc overnight or not. The run happens @ 8:30, a bit late for me.

Stoney went with Sybil to see Pedrito. This comes on the heels of It going to see his guidance counselor. When I asked his reaction, he was a typical teenager. To It, he was quite talkative. Really, REALLY hurts.

...and while we're @ it

It/Sybil, the great do nothing/hiding behind the facade of good friend/caregiver: rages psychotically @ someone who runs a rehab AND has a stroke victim in hospital. Go teach religion, they'll buy your bullshit.

...even Angela realizes It's a shit wife.

day 926

ouch

SOME things hurt more than others.

Knew Sybil would, eventually, lose it. Why? Jobless, again. And, of course, when confronted with Its failures, cannot help but look to others, rather than take the reigns. I'd used some rags that were under the sink, It needed an excuse to lose it, BOOM! Excuse found. Then, and this is the killer, tries turning Stoney against me, explaining how I "feel a need to touch all my stuff." All this because I used rags. Imagine. And, of course, Its screaming divorce. Enough. I threw it RIGHT back. Enough of Its bullshit.

Not only is It jobless, but this pm has to go to Stoney's school for a meeting with the Guidance Counselor. Not a big deal, the sorta crap parents do. If you're a parent. Funny how even Angela picked up that It abandoned Stoney to hit the beach since he was 8, and needs to grow up (@ 53).

(Backstory: It was particularly incensed that I see Pedrito daily, whereas when It was in hospital, I went when I could).

And yes, I DID use the line of "how important is it," when It raged about the rags. Actually asking "if you REALLY need a reason to rage, look at the failures that make you up." Guess that wasn't the nicest, but entirely appropriate response, when your son is in the process of being turned against you.

Today, I ran. Life is good. SHORTS!!!!! (with sweatshirt top).

Tomorrow will be odd, the Empire State Run Up. @ 8:30pm. THAT sucks, can't run in the am, the next am's run is questionable @ best. But it WILL be a challenge. Looking forward to it.

day 925

can't fight fire with fire, tempting as it may be.

This whole "brother with a stroke" thing is really working to bring us together. Shame this hadda heppen, but a fact is a fact. Since mom died, the glue that held the family together went with her. Now that Pedrito is ill, the glue hardens. This is good for us.

Of course, personally, it's REALLY good for me-though I get weepy whenever I leave the hospital. It IS tough seeing him in such a condition, but hey, ageing is NOT for the weak.

The amazing dirt: HIS wife regularly enables Sybil. Big surprise. About once every other month It cries poverty and receives $$$. Amazing. No shame. Worse yet: god forbid you get a normal job. How long can you use this "cancer/victim" thing???

Even Angela pegged it: delayed adolescence/not wanting to grow up. EVEN Pedrito, finally, asked the million dollar question: who's paying for Keith's college? When Sybil uttered "dunno if he's boarding or not." Of course my response was "dunno if he's printing cash or not." REALLY lives in la-la land, and all see it. Funny now that the OTHER side checks in.

EVEN worse, It's out last night, what do I find? My deferred comp statement. WHY It has to steal my mail, let alone open it?????????

So, on a crisp morn, sweats, gloves, knit hat (was 32 and felt it). When I initially saw the temp when I looged on this am, it said 34. THAT would'a been shorts weather. But no, WAS too cold.

Got my miles, life is good.


*****Interesting note, Pedrito gets visited every day. I truly feel bad leaving, but gotta go back to work. When It was in the hospital? Got my spare time at best. Bros before ho's. No shit. It didn't deserve it. Best of all, when I was acused of abandoning It, who the FUCK was maintaining a full time job/minding the child (NOT taking off to the beach), AND cleaning the house?????

day 924

told ya' so!!!!!

KNEW I wasn't Satan!!!!!!

One of the nice by-products of my brother's stroke is: had an honest conversation with his wife, and today an honest conversation with him. Neither was abreast of what was REALLY happening here. All they heard was the Bitch's side. Of course, I explained that I've no need to defend myself. But, it WAS nice to give an accurate description.

This am, 7 miles in AP, then the 3 x 1 Alley Bowl Relays. Fun. Then, off to the hospital.

day 923

not what I expected, but....

Got my miles in first thing in the am. Glad I did. Ran a bit with Pret, saw the peeps, of course, I was headed in as they headed out. Not surprising. Seems to always be that way with me.

Was a beautiful am, sweatshirt and shorts.

Then, off to the hospital. As I enter the elevator, who enters just ahead of me? My brother's wife. Normally, you can't get me on the same PLANET as she, you REALLY don't wanna get caught within the same 4 walls as a crazy person. But...under these circumstances...

We actually had a nice visit. My brother was in therapy, so it was just her and I in his room. She asked all the important questions re: Shebitch and I, and I got to explain what was REALLY up, not Sybil's version thereof. Worked out really well. Again kiddies, remove disease from the equation, everything comes up swimmingly. Translation: she saw I'm not Satan.

Priest brother, his groupie, my brother's wife, her sister, and I were all there @ the same time. Weekends must adjust everyone's schedule, but mine. I'm nothing if not consistent.

day 922

helluva year so far!

Can't get the picture of opening shit/adjusting legs into the wheelchair, outta my mind. My independent brother reduced to this. Ouch. But, prognosis is good.

Aging sucks.

So this am, laced 'em up. Today's a tough day. gotta take SOME days off or I lose too much time. So, Fridays I'm off. Means I get annoying phone calls from the pinheads who can't make decisions (or bitch about those made for them).

Little wonder I run.

Fortunately, again, God puts the right people in your path. One of the patients hadda ask something, saw the running shoes, turns out he's one of us!!! Cool.

This am, cold. 30. Back to sweats. Unfortunately, took my yearly tumble. Fortunately, nothing broken this time, just minor cuts. All the while, on my mind was the angry nature of the club meeting the other day. Wow. All because the day was changed. AND, to top it all off, one person present-who INSISTED on voicing their opinion-isn't even a paid member. Jeeeeeeeeeeeez.

I ran this am, I'm ok.

day 921

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Moved the bored/membership meeting to Wednesday. You'd have thought I yelled "fire" in a movie theater. Usually normal well adjusted Striders turned Satanic. I'm really surprised. Get a grip people. If you can't make it, big deal, if you can, frankly, big deal. It's not that important.

Having Pedrito experience a stroke REALLY put things into perspective (not that much perspective was needed. Always been good @ seperating crap from "not crap." ) Wheeling your brother in a wheelchair, opening containers for him...the shit we take for granted.......Aging sucks.

So, this am, laced 'em up, out I went. MORE killer temps-shorts in January????? Was upper 40's. Truly wonderful. j.w.t.d.o.

day 920

wow

Was @ the movies yesterday, so-so flick (Albert Nobbs), basically 2 hours away from toxicity, when It calls. Good brother had a stroke, is in the hospital. No big loss leaving the flick, especially for him, my man.

This comes on the heels of yet MORE hitting the fan @ the job (once you move up in the food chain, you make a better target).

So, got out, headed home, where It'd drive us to the hospital-I was too affected to drive.

Turns out he had a tci, speech impacted, loss of some motor skills, but none of the "I lost half my body and can't move my right side" stuff.

Hurts seeing life happening sometimes. He's 67/68, diabetic, overweight, had the stroke on Sunday. He and his wife are a great team-I can't stand her, but I'm not married to her. They compliment each other. I owe him big time. Gave me pocket money, looked out for me, really always was there. (of course, Sybil claiming he gave It divorce money's a whole other thing).

Couldn't help but reflect on the fact that for this, Sybil and I got along-aside from Its one outburst in the hospital.

The guy who became the default parent, the "good brother." Sucks.

This is why we run. To stay healthy. Thank GOD I made it out today. Didn't think I would, and I'd have been ok with that. Initially, rain was predicted until 10am, totally messing up running, BUT, it wasn't raining when I got up. Thus, laced 'em up. AND, it rained once I was on the road. S'ok, was light. Not even enough to soak the running shoes.

Best of all, my "before picture" was there. Bless him. A man up to the challenge (my Dim Sum peeps as well).

More gooder. Can't control what hits the fan, but can put one foot in front of the other.