day 370

WOW!!!

Brooklyn day, for sure!

Got up predawn, checked the job, all quiet, good. Off to Prospect Park, GREAT parking spot, napped, got my bib and chip (they be kickin' it old skool, yo!), did the 5k. Niiice. SERIOUS runners, I was def a fish outta water, but did ok, esp for Prospect Park.

Then, did the hang in the cool/hipster section. This area really has become the Greenwich Village of 2010. BUT, hadda jump the train to go to the IFC center to catch a limited release flick, then, back to Brooklyn.

WHAT A FRIGGIN' LINE! Sonic Youth was doing a free concert (fundraiser for the Prospect Park Alliance), so, the line went over the hills and far away. BUT, got a GREAT spot once inside. WOW. They really kicked ass. First ehard of them-and Social Distortion-thanks to Neil, they opened for him a few tours ago. Great taste Neil, and thanks!!! God bless them for NOT selling out after all these years, AND keeping the punk ethos strong. I'd mary Kim Gordon in a second!

Forgot what it was like to be packed like a sardine, but the crowd was WAY cool, with none of the typical concert security assholes telling you all the shit you CAN'T do.

A GREAT day.

day 369

made it through the week, and a day off without actually running today!!! Would'a been a perfect morning-cool, not too humid, 70 ish, but, gotta rest for manana. Prospect Park!

Felt great to NOT deal with staff crap-with the state of NY's budget, you'd think they'd be happy to be employed, but they're more dysfunctional than the patients.

Shebitch? Woke me up last night asking if I used ice cubes.
nope, can't make this shit up).

day 368

tgit

thank god it's thursday!!!!! (off for a four day weekend)

St.Francis + Kissena this am, 10+. Why? signed up for a 5k Saturday-Prospect Park, gotta love running there!!! Then, probably, AP Sunday.

day 367

you can run, but you can't hide!/First bank of dad

St.Francis this am, felt good. Again, cooler temps, lower humidididity. Left casacrazy in a good mood, unusual. Why? Stoney actually was CHATTY. THAT was the good news, the other side of the coin-he was angling for $. I'll take it where I can. Of course, he hit on me becaise Shebitch always cries poverty. No prob there. He should have whatever he wants.

So, what's with the "hide?" Bumped into 2 people who did the Queens half! As I'm within 2 miles of the finish, a woman-one of the usual suspects-asks if I did the Queens half? She was right behind me @ the finish! Another guy, one of the Korean RRC/"Powered by Dim Sum" guys ran off and on with Laughlin, John and I for the last 3 miles. Now, take a moment. In a city of 9 million, what are the odds of running into anyone, let alone people with whom you have a mutual experience? Cool!

George Sheehan was right.


***Pix from the Queens half below.

day 366

year and a day!!!

Day one of year two began.

St.Francis + Kissena this am, 10+. Felt GREAT! Lower humidididity, slept under the covers last night (with the fan on of course, but still, nice and cool in the am!). Was feeling good @ the turnaround, so pressed on. Glad I did. Knees ok.

Back to Casacrazy last evening, Stoney on his slaptop, walked by him, didn't utter a word. This am, when I boogied, he was up-still not a word. Let's see how long this lasts!

Bumped into the usual suspects @ the gym. One of whom is a Strider, his wife just had her fourth chemo. Really hurts to remember what life was like before cancer. It is what it is, now in year 9.

day 365

wow. It's been a year since Its cancer relapsed, one year since it spread everywhere but Its brain (despite outward appearances), one year since Its psychosis escalated. Thank GOD for running.

St.Francis this am. After the half on sat and the 5k yesterday, needed to get regrounded. Felt REALLY good, cooler temps, the oppressive humidididitry is gone-for now. Actually a nice morning for a run. Haven't had too many of those this month!

Still can't get over Stoney up all night, sleeps 'til 6 pm. That's just wrong.

day 364

THAT didn't suck

Didn't do TOO badly this am. Really should'a either taken the day off or done AP, but since It was home, hadda boogie. Came in FINALLY under 10 minutes per mile (nevermind that it was a dead flat course, after 13.1 in these temps, amazing anyone could move, let alone run). Bumped into another who did yesterday's run also, thus, I'm not the ONLY fruitloop. This 5k, after another night of screaming-It raving about (Its diagnosis) my o.c.d, to you and me: my insistence on putting things away. All of a sudden It's qualified to diagnose me. Amazing.

And yes, as of now (2:39, Stoney's STILL sleeping. It? Nowhere to be found. Hopefully @ the beach getting skin cancer.

***This just in: Stoney's ALIVE!!!! (woke up at...are you sitting down? 6 p.m., frightening isn't it?). An entire day wasted.

day 363

I don't (totally) suck!!!

Queens half today, blistering heat, very humid. One of those "just finish, don't have a stroke" races.

Met brotherfromanothermother, we hung, then went to the start. Def one of those "glad to know the area" parking situations-otherwise, you hadda park a mile away.

You KNOW peeps be off they pace when you catch them. Actually caught up to Laughlin n' his son-in-law. Embarassed them by muttering "pussy" under my breath in a cough, we walk/ran to the finish for the last 2-3 miles. I actually beat John. THIS is when you know pace went horribly wrong.

Pesa was there as a course marshall, good. You didn't know where she'd be, so you hadda keep a decent pace.

****Extreme props to the Youtube post. We def are ahead of the curve re: tech.

Saw Carmen and Leo from CP also.

Thank GOD manana is only a 5k!

...god I LOVE Queens!!! REALLY shouldn't've left.

day 362

this is gonna hurt

off day today, finally. Resting for the weekend. Manana, the Queens half. Predicted near record temps. Thankfully, it starts @ 7am. THANK GOD. Red shirts, cool. NOT cool is: Brooklyn had tech shirts.

Sunday a 5k in Long Beach, if I'm not crippled. With the predicted temps this weekend, and Shebitch on a major rage tear, and Stoney in the midst of his isolation/I'm a teenager phase, it'll be a good weekend to be scarce.

Gotta see Salt, they filmed on site.

day 361

there IS a God!!!

Wokeup, made coffee, gave Stoney a "good morning" (he was still awake, 'natch), typing away on the pc...when...when..."fuck...shit!!!" Stoney wasn't very happy obviously. I meandered over and asked wassup? He left his phone @ Taco Bell. YESSS!!!!! This, to today's technokid, is almost as big as puberty! He's realizing what it's like to lose a limb!!! All the places we went, and he's texting his thumb off, a slap to my face, i.e. "this event isn't that important, lemme take myself out of it." Payback. Of course his mother is, literally, next to him, saying nothing. Yet It doesn't even suggest he calls to suspend the number. I friggin' LOVE it!!!

Last run before the Half. Should be murder, 96 degs predicted, man up!!! THIS is the weather that resulted in their pulling the plug on the Chicago Marathon. Pussies.

***Found a book @ my fave "bookstore" (they have a lending library @ the gym, I actually find too many good reads there-tells you something about the clientele). A Jimmy Breslin book, issued in '76, describing him as a writer for the Daily News, who reeks of Queens. GOD I miss living here. Besides favoring The Priest, the only mistake my Mother ever made was leaving Queens for Uniondale. The value of our property went way up (we sold for $95,000-can you beLIEVE that???), the neighborhood stabilized, jeez. What an error. But, Mom got what she needed. I hope. Still, I adore Queens.

...closer I am to fiIIIIINE.

day 360

getting better

The humidididity persists, so must we. St.Francis this am, gotta use 6.5 as a benchmark, then build on it, sort'a like a 1/4 marathon. Last year we had a couple of days of oppressive conditions, this is going on WEEKS. Got a call from brotherfromanothermother, he was pissed @ his times, 9 mins. Of course I reminded him "one man's ceiling..." My 10 minute mile=his 9. He was concerned he hadda walk after mile 2, of course I welcomed him to my world.

Bit poor Stonjey's head off yesterday evening. It was out, of course, not taking care to assure he was covered. So he did as he should-when I asked if he wanted to come with me to the Y for a swim, he instead asked for some fast food-he was sick of boiling hot dogs. Can't blame him, but I DID-in no uncertain terms-make him aware of a father's role. Told him after putting out fires all day, I don't need to do the same-and filling the gap Crazybitch leaves by not covering his meal needs, is putting out another fire. I told him he can always have whatever he wants, he's not spoiled n' does not make inappropriate requests, but his mother needs to step up. He was made aware he needs to press her. This is ridiculous. Just how much am I supposed to fuckin' do? And to refuse his appropriate request would lower me to Its level. Poor kid. And yes, he got what he wanted. He should.

day 359

JEEEEZ!

Spent the ENTIRE (work) day yesterday dealing with ONE asshole's (staff) dysfunction. People too often forget we're hired to perform a service to the PATIENTS; that, frankly, the governor doesn't give a shit about our feelings. Exacerbating this, supervisors who have no balls, a.k.a. Social Workers, i.e. "Do you want to do the 10:30 group?" WHATTHEFUCK????? No one ASKS me if I WANT to do something, I'm directed to DO IT. Amazing, then the friggin' social worker/useless asshole wonders why the staff person slams a door in his face. Now...let that sink in...do YOU think anyone would DARE pull that shit on me?

St.Francis + Kissena this am, 10+. Again, begging the question, why can I do this in the am w/o water nor power gels, yet in a race (pace isn't a factor, training/daily run/race, my pace is the same) I need gel every 3 or 4 miles? Anyway, felt great this am. Hot as a mother, but great!

day 358

actually glad to have gotten the weekend over, not 'sposed to be that way, but, it is what it is.

This one was painful, as though you couldn't tell from the brief(er) posts. Lots of sadness. When I see how wonderful life can be, as opposed to how it is, I feel awful. Friday night was one example. Had a BLAST!!!!! DRIPPING sweat, but what a GREAT time! Celebrity sighting-Jeremy Sisto-our seats were better, GREAT company, amazing band, what fun! Then, crazybitch putting laundry away @ 1:30 in the morning, buzzkill.

Then, Saturday's 10k, hottttt/humiddddddd, time SUUUCKED, but glad I did it. Got to hang with brotherfromanothermother, all too briefly, but hey, it is what it is. Then off with Stoney to the movies, actually had some great father/son bonding, actually had a conversation. This is key since he's @ the age when half the time he either wants to be with his friends, or isolate. Saturday, we were Skipper and Gilligan. Yay!!!!! Downside: Crazybitch goes off to the beach, ditching him, then goes to a wake that evening. Hello!!! Ummmm, PARENTING???? Useless, truly useless bitch. You MUST grasp, It does NOTHING for him, again, it is what it is, I'm glad he and I hung out.

Sunday? They had the zip line on the adventure course open, wanted to go get Stoney, but, he was out with his peeps. Damn. Then, after I did my miles, did the lawn, by the time he got home he was in his isolation mode. Damn. Even asked him if he was the same kid who was hangin with his dad the day before? And again, Shebitch is out.

This am? St.Francis + Kissena. With the Queens half Saturday, gotta log the miles before off day comes up-also, rain is a factor this week-like the humidididity/heat isn't enough?

Again, between the company Friday, the concert, hangin with my boy...I see how great life can be. But isn't. It is what it is.

day 357

I HATE this!!!!!

Got jose y sus tres mexicanos (the house behind mine) who have to BLAST their music so everyone can hear it. I occasionally, note "occasionally" blast music, outside of my yard you can't hear it. Can you imagine how loud these assholes are playing that shit??? And apparently I'm the only one to hear it!!!

St.Francis this am. Planned, with the best of intentions to run with the club, but, too damned hot to wait. Off I went @ 6:30-late for me. Glad I did.

day 356

tgio

thank god it's over!!!

WhattheHELL possessed me to do a 4m race AFTER not sleeping, I've no idea, but I did. Pregged, 'nuff said. Should'a done the refreshment run. But...at least I didn't walk-though from my pace you'd think I did.

Got back way too late after the concert-it ended @ 11:30, home by 12:30, Shebitch putting away laundry @ 1:30=no sleep. Fuck me. Off to the race. Got a great spot, but too hot and no rest.

STILL grooving on the concert-really good!!! But, getting too old for this bullshit. NOW I can chillax.

day 355

tgif!!!

HOTTTTT/HUMID week, totally off my game, but feeling, surprisingly, good.

It hasn't been around, after work was actually able to NOT avoid my address.

Work? S.O.S. You expect shit to happen here.

Running? Totally off my game, no daily runs-between needed days off and the rains, let's just say I got rest as needed/dictated by circumstances.

Personal life? VERY good. Life there is totally on target, YAY!!! Started the week on a high note with the S.I. Yankees outing, closing it out on a similar high note @ the concert.

Tonight, dinner then concert. Gotta LOVE Queens!!!

day 354

back on track (a.k.a. what a dif a day makes)

nothing yesterday-between the rain/humidididity/aching, purrrfect excuse to chillax. Went straight back to Toxichouse,not even Boot Camp, tried prying Stoney from the couch-to no avail. Went to see Sorcerers Apprentice, sucked, but hey, chillaxed.

This am? St.Francis + Kissena, 10+. Hadda. Yesterday nothing, manana nothing (concert), gotta get it where I can.

Can't get over my rock star. As I leave in the morning, he's STILL up, to sleep all day then awaken 'round 3. Shebitch? As I said, right next to him, dead asleep. Amazing.

day 353

sometimes you gotta listen to yourself

Had one of THOSE mornings. Got up late (Rescue Me was on, hadda watch it-with the concert fri night, won't be able to catch the repeat-and-even if I could, it's on too late, 11 pm. If I couldn't stay up to watch the first presentation @ 10, how could I stay up 'til 11?), so, with the predicted downpours, had the purrrrfect excuse for a day off. Felt guilty, but did it. Left Toxichouse later than usual, an hour later, to, again, preempt the possibility of a run. No rain, felt ambivalent, but, press on.

Got to the job, tied up some loose ends, went out to get the am papers, BOOM! Seventeen minutes before my morning run usually ends (6:21), the skies literally open up. Perfect. I'm validated! Body needs the rest, when you stand up and stand crooked, you need a day off. Briefly pondered Boot Camp tonight, then came to my senses.

...and yes...Stoney was STILL up when I left. Yesterday, during the day, I'd called to wish him a great day, Shebitch was berating him for being up all night. Now...take a minute. Let that sink in. It's sleeping on the couch ADJACENT to where he's sitting, up all night. Yet says nothing until after the fact. No, you can't write stuff this good. Had yet another talk with him about blowing his $$$. When I got back there after work there were Domino's boxes. I KNEW the Bitch didn't lift a finger, so I cautioned him, i.e. don't do what your parents should, i.e.: FEED you. Make Mommy be a Mommy. Useless. Again, can you imagine leaving for the day, with a 15 year old with money burning a hole in his pocket????

day 352

20 fucking years!!!

Wedding day 20 years ago, what a HUGE fucking mistake. The ONLY good thing: Keith. Best thing that ever happened in my life! GREAT child. When we went to the game the other day, it was, again, proven. We witnessed some kids being kids: bratty, screaming, whiny, crying. He did none of those. What a truly cool boy. Then again, who's his daddy?

Went to see Despicable Me yesterday. $31!!!!! WHATTHEFUCK! Lord knows I don't mind spending money, but that's insane. Add snacks and the inevitable taco bell after, we blew $60. AND, he voiced his desire for a new ipod, rather than paintball as a birthday gift, so I laid it on him this am, adding yesterday's total to $210. Add Sunday's total ($130), and this kid's costing me. Is that bad? Absolutely not, every penny is worth it-and MORE! It's an investment. He is a magnificent child.

The movie? Sucked. We were both underwhelmed. Funny part was: some of his peeps were in the theater, one of the chicks was checking him out. He's @ that age when he's a tweener, so after the movie we SPLIT tout suite. He didn't wanna be pegged as a daddy's boy. :(

St.Francis this am. Hottttt, humid. BUT, got my run in, rain predicted-the kind we had the other day. Some areas soaked to shit, others bone dry.

***So, how'd I celebrate 20 years of hell? Western Union-ed $$$ to a peep in need. Funny, he has all his groupies he used to shoot the shit with, but when he needed rehab? Called me. When he needed rent $$$? Called me. Funny how peeps call Satan when needed. Gotta go listen to some Ozzy.

day 351

what a weekend!!!

1)Did the Saturday 10k/swim. Nice.

2)Successfully avoided Toxichouse Saturday during prime dysfunction hours. Niiice.

3)Did the 5k yesterday-BARELY. Hadda take 3 breaks, MAAAN it was rough, but made it. When you run a race after dealing with the shit I did this weekend, you deserve a prize!!!

4)Celebrated with Stoney/father-son bonding/running club outing. Yesterday, @ exactly 11:21 Jose y Sus Tres Mexicanos (the Latinos in the house behind ours) started with their fucking music, told Stoney, load up, we're outta here. He showered, off we went to the S.I. Ferry to join the group for the game. So far so good, early, but ok.

Caught the 12:18 to Penn. Nice thing about Hicksville, trains every 20 mins. Got to Penn 'round 1pm. Now, he had his "birthday party," (really an excuse to fill the house with Shebitch's friends, more on that later*) which means he had $$$ burning a hole in his pocket. Translation: he had video games on his mind. Off we went to K Mart (nope), then off to J n' R Music World, there they had what he wanted. Of course, after the morning 5k/sweat-a-thon, I was peeing everywhere, as we stopped @ Au Bon Pain, we hear me called, it was Tom n' Terri. They'd parked on the Brooklyn side of the bridge and walked over. Perfect! We went to South Ferry, sat, chatted, felt a tap on my shoulder: DP, a few minutes later, Helen and Rob's nephews. Off we went.

2 hour rain delay! CRAP!!! BIG plops of raindrops, like God was spitting on us. Every time we left the shelter of the overhang to return to our seats, plop...plop...more rain! 3x in all. Shame, but hey, what can you do? Our seats were killer, 3 rows up, on third base, you really heard the ball POP when it hit the catchers's mit (pitching practice was along the third base line-no bullpen). We had wristbands, indicating we'd paid the fee for the "all you can eat" package, translation: seats, a team hat, and all the food you could stuff in your mouth. Nice. So...we waited out the rain...and ate...and ate.

The game was close, tied into the 9th inning, we went on a good night, until the S.I. Yankees (in the second extra inning) hit a double to send in the runner, breaking the tie. Batavia Muckdogs (St.Louis Cardinals affiliate) 3, S.I. Yankees 4. Everyone had fun, we caught the 9pm Ferry (we'd been there 6 fucking hours!!!), caught the 10:18 train from Penn, home by 11, showered, caught the repeat of True Blood. Nice.

The backstory: Shebitch's party: a dud. Again, it was raining, no a/c, do the math. My brother didn't come, half the usual suspects were no-shows, especially her best chick friend-the one for whom It forced Stoney to go to their brat's first communion. Ultimate benchmark: 2 bags of garbage-lame party. Good.

Best party of yesterday? Actually got to talk with Stoney. Bad part: I know too much. Shebitch hadda borrow birthday $$$ to buy whatever It perceived as necessary in a pinch for the party. Amazing. Borrowing money from your son. Pathetic. Another highlight? When I went to sleep (12:30, It STILL wasn't home. Had gone out (after spending all day @ the beach...yes...cancer survivor tanning), so go out late @ night...to...do laundry. No, you can't write stuff this good. Up is down, down is up. Borrow money from your son.

Thank GOD I got to spend quality time with him. Relished every second (especially when he put his head on my shoulder on the LIRR into Penn. Sweet bastard).


*So, why the glee over Shebitch's failed party? It interrogates me: What'd you get for Keith's birthday? My answer: "you have no right to ask me any question, much less expect an answer." Though I DID tell It I'd planned to take him and a chosen peep to paintball. Of course I asked what IT was gonna get him, It answered irately: "I throw him this party..." of course I answered "bullshit, it's an excuse to have your groupies over." It is really convinced It does this for Keith. Pathetic. You throw a party for your friends, which fails, and have to borrow money from your son to supplement goods you lacked. Nice. GREAT example. Payback's a what? THEN, you buy all this extra shit, which is wasted due to low turnout. Good. VERY good.

day 350

what goes around...

Ok, took friday off to fart around, of course, hadda check the job to make sure all was well after (5 pm), of course, all was not. Our a/c had been down all week (yucccch), so we finally caved and sent the housekeeper and secy out to buy window units. Now remember, a bug had crawled up the boss's ass, and he gave away all our old units because he didn't want the windows damaged (???!!!). So, the downside? Of course, as I stroll in, they say they're 3 short-the secy's credit card maxxed out. There I am to the rescue, nevermind it's after "hours," nevermind I'm "off," I grabbed 3 patients and sped off. Got 'em, installed 'em. Good deed...check.

Had the Dash n' Splash Sat am, avoid Shebitch's party pm. Hooked up with brotherfromanothermother, Mrs.Brunot, Vince and Sue before. The race was great, humidddddddddd, grueling, SHITTY time, but the swim after...yummmmm. AND, thousands of ladies in bikinis, YUMMMMM. Very cool. Nothing like a dip after that distrance, and again, great visuals. Then...as I'm leaving, the teacher from Newtown I was volunteering with says hi, we walked outta the park together. Not only is Omar Minaya a Newtown alum, but Gene Simmons as well! God I love Queens.

Then...evasive maneuvars. TRIED showing my face @ Toxichouse, It immediately starts tearing me a new one, I split. Off to the mall, gotta be something I haven't seen. As I get my ticket, drop dead gorgeous girl compliments me on my earrings (thanks God!!!). We talk, go to the movie and dinner after. Great night. Disaster averted. By the time I showed up again, it was 10 pm, safe. It was REALLY pissed because-you'd think It'd be smart enough to reschedule/have a raindate, but no. Evweryone inside, no a/c, loved it too much!!! A good rule of thumb is how much food is left and how much garbage. Tons of food left, 2 bags of garbage. Good, fuck It. Angry bitch. I had a decent flick with great company and a killer dinner.

Today, 5k this am, local, then off to the game with Stoney and the peeps, a beautiful day coming!!!

day 349

(typing on my cool netbook, toys is good!!!)

Spent the night in Manhattan, hockey night, yay!!!!! Sweltering humid, hockey is there to the rescue!

run in central park in a few mins, do 6.5 to prep for manana's race. SHOULD take today off, but hey, feel good (AND Sunday's "only" a 5k).

day 348

one...more........day....

Hopefully this weather'll break, @ this point it's beyond ridiculous. Today a few degs cooler, but higher humididididity. Jeeeez. Next mother who says they live in ny for the change in seasons gets it!

St.Francis this am, could really feel it. Fortunately, no walk breaks-though
DID stop @ a water fountain after the turn around. Breathing wasn't as tough-getting used to the "cut the air with a knife" conditions.

More bbm displacing from Pret. It's work that's having this effect (it's WORK!!! It's SUPPSOSED to suck). Classic displacement: have a bad day @ work, go home, kick the cat. Same thing. But, one must always remember to choose one's words carefully, i.e. I'm not anyone's toilet. Dump on me too much and you're off the grid. Getting mighty close there. I got enough shit in my life and don't need more.


*****Off tomorrow! Yay!!!!!! Off to play in Manhattan.

And now...the most earth shattering, most bone jarring announcement: it was 15 years ago today my best work took his first breath. Amazing innit? He's off spending the night with brotherfromanothermother. Miss him, without him there the house is a shell. Really puts everything into perspective. People who don't have kids won't ever understand: everything else can fall to shit as long as your kid is awright. NOTHING else matters, great perspectivizer. I AM glad it's supposed to rain saturday, Shebitch scheduled his "birthday party," really an excuse to have Its friends over. It's the yearly fight: It violates all boundaries, disrespecting my space, with the excuse of "it's for the party." Nevermind some people actually...what's the word...live there? Stoney makes it worth it.

day 347

WHATTHEFUCK???

Pret bbm's me, axin' wassup (catching up, had been outta town), of course I responded(as I have repeatedly in the past) "read the blog." Response: "whatever." Ouch. Bit terse there eh wot? Then this am, another bbm "I deserve to be treated.....I won't bother you......" ??????????????? Did I miss a memo? All this from "read the blog." Wow. All that drama from a statement. An obvious one at that.

Yesterday I started getting that "report card feeling," asked a work peep if she saw her daughters (her daughter's in Stoney's grade), she said she checks online. Later, she went home, checked mail, called me @ the office to say the report cards just arrived. Funny how that worked out, had that feeling and, whoosh!!! He did ok, not great, def not working up to his potential, but considering the shit he deals with, as well as can be expected:

1)Global History: 82, "Homeworks are missing."
2)World of Technology: 81, "Satisfactory achievement. A pleasure to teach your child."
3)Spanish: 69, "Does not work up to ability. (No Shit) Poor test/quiz grades."
4)Phys Ed: 78, "Satisfactory achievement."
5)Algebra: 85, "Satisfactory achievement."
6)Living Environment: 78, "Effort is commendable."
7)English (honors): 79, "Satisfactory achievement."
8)Studio in Art: 88, "Project incomplete/missing."
9)Algebra regents: 77.
10)Science regents: 83.

So, he did ok. Didn't get arrested. The bad news: next year is sophomore year, he'll go down. We'll see.

To celebrate, we went to see Toy Story 3, 3d. I'd tried to see the 2d version, and walked out, found it played out and boooring. With him, and in 3d, we had a blast! The effects, didn't notice them. DID notice all manner of jokes designed for all ages, well done. NOW I know why it's so highly rated. The theater was packed, didn't get our usual seats, had a row in front of us, killed my knees. But, we had alotta fun. I was blessed AND relieved. Stoney's on the cusp of child/adult, so, often he'd rather hang with his peeps, or is too cool for the room. Surprised he'd actually wanna see this flick, but sooo happy he did. His inner child isn't dead yet. After, I pointed out the similarity between he and the protagonist. Stoney (rarely now, but sometimes) plays with his "guys" as he called them. When Shebitch offered to thin the herd, he responded strongly. Good, It should pay attention to getting It's detritus in order-which now litters the entire residence. He really should get rid of them, but at times he uses them. Warma my heart. Hearing him play with his guys, and singing in the shower makes my soul shine.

St.Francis + Kissena, 10+. Hadda prove my mettle. OUCH. Amazing warm, but hey, man up!!!

day 346

Yeeeeeeow!!!

Day 2 of heatwave, day 2 of running in heatwave. Wow, this is tough. Thank GOD for waterfountains, relieves you of the need to carry water. Drank after the St.Francis turnaround. For some reason the fountain in front of The Parkhouse is set like a firehose-you get your face soaked but nothing into you.

St.Francis + a lil extra, 7+. Was trudging along when after St.Francis Dave the superjew comes along, still nursing his injured foot, walking (his walk is my run). Poor guy is a neurotic mess, really can't "be the run," always thinking of what e mail he has to send, what perceived ill he must correct....a Jewish Ray Ciccollili. I'll take my midpack pace anyday, long as I love what I'm doing.

Stoney and his friend Black James sleeping in the living room, Shebitch in my den. PISSED me off, intruding on my space, but...it IS hot.


***from the: "I'm glad to be me" files, my bud Dan calls. Living in Cape Cod, relapsed, drove him to rehab, finished rehab, back in Cape Cod. Ok, there it is in a nutshell. Calls this am, still clean, but has no rent money. Put the squeeze on me, told him I could Western Union $100-150, but wasn't gonna pay his rent. Wow. Feel for him, but, I'd never ever trade places. Lovely living @ The Cape, as long as the rent gets paid. Guess God wants me NOT to be pissed @ Shebitch.

***Just got off the phone with Tom, catching up, bbm yesterday evening from Pret. Recentered/refocused. Again, these humans...don't suck so much. Made a difficult weekend easier.

****Omar Minaya attended Newtown H.S. GOD I love Queens. MAN am I a fish outta water.

*****HOTTT!!! Do U have a/c? Overheard Stoney talkin' to his peeps, lamenting his heat. I felt terrible, but then again, who's paying the mortgage? Who sees to it that we're not in debt? That we have electricity? We have no a/c @ home, and we won't. I've told him: you have 2 choices: come with me for a swim, or melt. Shebitch doesn't contribute to the bills, it's all on me=sweat. It really hurts that he can't wrap his head around: I pay everything.

day 345

WOW!!! Hot as a mother______

Laughlin and Ken were right, biking was the way to go today. Running...not so much.

Woke up with the best of intentions, was gonna run with the club, but, too hot. Left @ 6;45, and even THEN it was too hot. Wow. Got my St.Francis in, but with three thirty second breaks. Fortunately, Dave the superjew was with me. Usually this picks UP my pace, today no. He had a bad foot, put him and I on the same pace.

Jeeeeeez, it's hot.

day 344

THAT hurt!!!

OK, didn't go to Myrtle Beach, hey best laid plans...but then Shebitch bogarts Stoney for the 4th! Of course I wished him all the fun he could have, but it sucks. And It is totally clueless-as though it can do as It please without regard to parenting or my rights. THAT really really hurts. So, made the most of today.

did the Bellmore run, hooked up with the LI peeps, was very nice. Hot as a mother, but nice. Went to the VA to play 9, do my yearly pilgrimage to Steve's course. Played well, putted well (a miracle there!!! HATE putting and the ball knows it), then went to Manhattan for the fireworks, awaiting the start.

Miss the ability to do father/son shit with Stoney, but it keeps getting in the way. Hurts in ways I can't describe.

day 343

unplanned, but good!


Was s'posed to go to Myrtle Beach this weekend, but plans fell through, just as well, hot, humid, might as well do the 4th of July shit anyway.

Did the Oakdale 5k, really fun. Not too many people, if 150 I'd be shocked! Beautiful course, great people. Ran the first 1/4 mile with Rick-he was there to hang, had knee surgery, was chomping @ the bit. Was speaking with Bob, the owner of the scoring company, comparing notes re: the roids of putting on a race. Great guy, great looney sense of humor-right up my alley.

Came home, did the lawn when...when...the mower sputtered. Died. Brought it to the repair place around the corner, they'd closed 45 mins earlier. Crap!!! Guy standing outside smoking a butt (employee there) said for what it'd cost for a tune up, might as well buy another. Off to Loews, found one for the same cost as the tune up, finished the job.

Now...manana...Bellmore or Southampton? Dunno, yet.

day 342

made it to the weekend!!!

though yesterday felt like Friday. With the boss off today, yesterday felt like the week's wrapup. Not an unpleasant feeling.

Saw some of Twilight. "Some," because one hour was all I could take. Frumpy emo Bella deciding between the werewolf or the vampire just didn't do it for me. Boooooring. One good line: vampire asks werewolf (in human form) "don't you own a shirt?" Otherwise, pure emoteenwhitegirlchickflick. Bloody awful.

Why see a flick when the house is a home? Because it WAS a home, it was invaded. Shebitch emptied the fridge. Did a drievby during the day, took all its groceries away to wherever It's housitting. I'm clearly on my own, duh. THAT hurt. Then, yin/yang, good news/bad news, It barges in @ 10pm to walk the dog. THAT was good, giving a shit about the dog, the bad was barging in, waking me up to yell about whatever perceived injustice the mental patient was mentalizing. STILL think I make this up?

St.Francis + Kissena esta manana, 10+, 11 per the Garmin (LOVE that thing). Why? Crisp morning, shirt on, short(er) runs this weekend-manana the Oakdale run, MAYBE Bellmore Sunday. Really dunno. Not big on those "everybody does it" runs, i.e. Cow Harbor...Bellmore....

***and from the "I LOVE this city!!!" files: run enough @ AP in the early morning, you'll hear bagpipes. No, it isn't your imagination. The other day, I grab one of the usual suspects, ask him if I'm hallucinating. This am he tells me "your friend's playing @ the end of the path," I responded "which one?" There he was, a black guy practicing bagpipes? Only in New York.

day 341

so, here's the deal:

1)you live alone
2)you die alone

that's it. End of story. Everything in the middle is the busywork we call "life."

So, what brings up this optimism?

Can't help but notice how many chase their tails looking for "it," when "it" is within them. Some seek it in wives, lovers, things...but ultimately, no matter how close you get to anyone or anything, you go into a box or get cooked to ashes. Boom, done over. Maybe an afterlife, we don't know.

Now, depending on where your head's at, this is either a downer or an immensely freeing internalization. I feel this frees me. Why? I'm bound to NOTHING. Do the right thing because it's the right thing, and, ultimately, makes your time above ground better. Doing otherwise is contrary to human nature-which IS after all fundamentally good.

So, what brought this on? You read about It housesitting/abandoning us. Good, peace in the home. I come home after golf yesterday evening, Stoney on the slaptop, It drives up, enters Toxichouse, goes on a rant about how I stole chairs from the backyard, and informs me It and Stoney are going "out." Refused to say where, good parenting, willfully exclude a parent. Good, peace. They return @ 10pm, went to Red Lobster (THERE'S vital information I'd withhold), then drove Stoney to spend the night @ brotherfromanothermother's. Woke up, the house empty, Hulk giving me the "wherethefuckiseverybody" look.

So, despite wanting to call in and spend the day at my house, I'm here.

Golf? GREAT!!! Perfect weather.

Running? St.Francis + Kissena. The am was really spectacular. 5 less degs and would'a been perfect, but, after last week, I'll take it.

Again, what brought out the referenced "a-ha moment?" I'm mentally rehashing It's chair tirade (oh yes, ranted about unclogging the vacuum also, at which point I told It the name of the person feeding Stoney and cleaning up the poop of animal he didn't want), wondering which memo I'd missed re: "expect the unexpected/left field is your home." Amazing. At least the house is a house, and Stoney is enjoying his summer.

...nice to look forward to going home rather than avoid it.