a week minus a day to go

today, continuing our stroll down memory lane, people I loved.

1)Antoinette Marrone: grade school hotness.

2)Mrs.Lonergan: 4th grade teacher (NOT my homeroom, damn), the first dress I ever looked up.

3)Lucille Kober: asked ME to dance with her @ the elementary school prom. Wow!!!!! AND, actually asked me why I didn't dance closer to her. Yummm. My first kiss.

4)"Girl @ the Dance," when our prep school held a dance with the neighboring all girls prep school, fun ensued. REAL fun!!!

5)Bay Ridge Girl: my main peep in College and I would spend weekends in Bay Ridge. He hooked me up with this amazing girl. Whomever you are, wherever you are, thanks!!!

6)Kitchen girl: the girl who worked in the kitchen in grad school (yes, you CAN date while in The Seminary, celibacy doesn't kick in until the night of your ordination), anyway, Karen, thanks!!!!!

7)Fitzy: my first love post-rehab. The American beauty rose. Remember the 70's short/tight "Olivia Newton-John/Let's Get Physical" shorts? Fitzy wore 'em, it was lust @ first sight. 6 ft, slim, busty, freckled, red hair, wow. A mafia princess with a price on her head. What fun we had!!! Broke my heart.

8)Linda: Garden City Linda McG. Saved my ass on many occasions, used to spend every afternoon @ her place. My peep.

9)Marciana: together, we kept MATC open. HELL of a woman. The first real, mature relationship I ever had. Problem was: we were both independent and knew-unsaid-that anything further wouldn't work. We hook up for dinner once every 5 years or so, and the sparkle in each other's eyes will outlive us both. Full of love and life.

10)Julia: my Whoopie Goldberg look-alike. Crazy as hell, but a wonderful girl.

11)The White Witch (told you, not so good remembering names): actually lived with me in Uniondale for a bit. Literally was a white witch, actively practiced.

12)Debbie: my lifelong peep. People don't get this one. I've known her for almost 25 years-a friend, but that word doesn't describe it. We see each other regularly, she gets WAY too clingy, we break for years, then hook up again. Not physical, my sister. Love her, but she makes me nuts-too stalkerish, but she has a piece of my heart. REALLY pissed off Shebitch when I told her to ride in one of the limos @ my wedding, tough shit on them. Funny, Shebitch's friends could do as they liked, ONE of my peeps gets in on thew wedding and.....bitches can be catty n'est pas??? Even offered to bankroll my divorce. Bless her.

13)(insert joke here). Dana: months before we even went out, I called my brother/Priest brother, and told him he was performing the ceremony. He asked the obvious question: "have you even dated yet," to which I responded "details, details." I KNEW she was the one. The mother of my son. Little did I know she'd lose it. Would I do it all over again? Yes. Who could've predicted Its decline? Gotta jump into love with both feet.

14)Pret: number 14. Owns my heart, but doesn't quite get it. Wassup with women and this whole reassurance thing? Guys are easy: we might not talk to one another for years, and even then, a grunt or fart covers everything. Women, gotta do things like...what's the word...talk? GREAT butt/amazing smile. Saved my ass when I couldn't. The song "someone saved my life tonight" was written about her.

15)? Time will tell.

day 66

This could actually work!!!!!

No track work yesterday, so ran yesterday am, likewise this am. St.Francis, back to back/consecutive 6.5-7 m days. Good. Need 'em. Between these, and weekly 1/2's, I should be okay in Nov.

SUCCESS!!! Think I've found the Holy Grail. For weeks knees been bothering me due to my running shoes wearing out/that model being phased out. So, after experminentation, finally found the right ones. Feels soooooo good to not be in total pain. Arthritis is what it is, can't expect NO pain, but this I can deal with. YAYYY!!!

Bad News: Grete's on Sat, guess what's predicted??? I don't dare even say it.

NIIICE surprise pic of DP in the NYRR Magazine. Wear them colors!!!!!

Core training tonight, felt good. Work those abs stud!!!

one week to go

until the big five-oh. Actually looking forward to it. Why? Looking back, I'm amazed at the lifteimes I've had:

1)Kid: the best, no responsibilities, all fun, biggest prob was not getting caught. Surrounded by love-Mamine, Parain Fidele, Pedrito, Maman. Great schools, great friends-some of which I'm still in touch with.

2)High School: when the shit hit the fan, acting out x 100. When the substance abuse kicked in. Also, when I seemed to have the MOST fun-really sowed lots of wild oats. Amazed I'm still alive. Birth of recalcitrance, death of boarding school.

3)College/Grad School: when things got ugly. Substance abuse really IS a one way ticket. How'd I survive? Dumb luck.

4)Grad School/Seminarian: still under the misconception that if I gave my life to God, He'd keep me outta hell. Thank G I discovered G don't make deals.

5)Post rehab: like another puberty. Hadda learn to live all over again. Thank G the Dean in grad school gave me the ultimatum.

6)Birth of Gerry, death of Gerard. a.k.a. life after Seminary. Here life really began. No substances, no walls, no FAT-210 pounds later things got really different. Thank G gave up on that Priest/celibacy thing, sex is just too damned much fun.

7)Teacher: LOVED it, hated the shit $$$. How wonderful is it that my kids tracked me down via Facebook? Really made an impression. Nice.

8)Counselor: The whole "you have leadership potential" bullshit I'd heard all my life really kicked in here. It was shaped/modeled during the teaching years, here it blossomed. Also, the ability to act-i.e. how someone with little or no knowledge of Spanish can be a bilingual counselor. I WAS very good.

9)Husband: did my best to do all I could and be totally honest, only to have it all blow up in my face when Shebitch went postal. Good to know I did my best. All I can do.

10)Father: Keith knows I'm there. I do my damndest to put him right and let him know I'm always around-despite Shebitch's rants.

11)Runner: with another year of wedded shit came another inch on the waistline, so...what to do...my main work peep told me about the wonder of running. Never looked back. Totally changed my life in ways religion never could. Truly taught my spirituality, how to push my envelope, and enables me-daily-to tolerate Shebitch. Enabled me to develop relationships I never thought I'd have-real friendships. Like yet another puberty. Really matured here. Thanks Steve. You're with me daily. 2 dozen + marathons later......

12)Administrator: finally, the big time. Do my damndest NOT to be a suit or an Ivory Tower type, though that's my gig. Love it, would have it no other way. The gig I always had within me and always knew I'd be good at ("great leadership potential" finally finds its home). Can you imagine being given the free reign (thank G my boss knows I can't be controlled) to run a place as you think it should be run? What a wonderful job!

Lots of living there. Not bad.

day 65

rain rain go AWAY!!!

Was fearing having to cancel this am, THEN got up later than usual. Did the fiddler crab mad dash to split, hit the road, to The Unit on time, whew. Thank G the State Police weren't around.

St.Francis, knees good, but from last nights heavy rain, branches. Especially problematic when you consider...umm...what's that word...DARKNESS. Pre-sunrise running has it's down side. But, you really feel like the path is yours, and the fellow pre-dawn dog walkers ALWAYS say a kind hello or move to one side. Really a sub-sub culture.

Got a text from Spike "what did you do with the iced tea." Now, think for a moment. For they that live with others, would you think to ask such a thing? Duhhh, whad'ya think was done with a beverage lying in a refrigerator??? Dysfunction IS the name of the game in Hicksville.

No track work, that's done for the season, hence, St.Francis this am. Think that's why I got up an hour late-used to having the morning off to run later in the day.

day 64

WOW, what a difference!!!

Yesterday, grey, heavy rain, then mist, then grey. Cool evening. This am, cool, clearer, not AS humid. YAY!!! Time to hit the street. St.Francis felt good, feeling more like it should: a mid-length run. NOT a long run as it had been.

Now, the question: with track work over for the season, what to do? Grete's is coming Saturday. Would be good to do St.Francis m-th, then take Fri off. But we'll see. Nice to have options!

day 63

nice surprise today!

Got up, ughhh rain. So, headed to The parkhouse, hadda talk some stuff wit 'da peeps, then off to ellip. Showered, then.....then...the rain turned to mist. YESSSS. Was actually able to go long today, after yesterday, hadda. Felt GREAT in the spritz.

STILL glad I didn't sign up for the races today, for once I got lucky yesterday!!!

day 62

THAT was fun.

Fifth ave mile in the am, Perth Amboy 5k in the pm. NICE!!!

Why? Overcame my basic tendencies-to isolate. Sal had made me aware of the run in the evening, indicating we could head out after the Fifth Ave Mile. I said I'd see what was on my calendar, figuring, if I could tolerate anyone after the first race in the morning and get over myself, it could be fun. Sure enough it was!!!!! Knowing Shebitch was home, it narrowed my options.

Did the Fifth Ave Mile-nice, aluminum water bottles instead of MORE shirts, then headed to Penn, jumped on NJT, one hour later we're in Perth Amboy. Another world, like an Hispanic Hempstead, but clean. We hung with the Race Director who walked us to the finish and the start, this'd never happen in ny. What genuinely nice people. Then, walked back to the train to meet Anita and Travis. This was imp't as this was a first time race with the usual glitches-the biggets-no baggage check. So Travis was baggage cop for us. Perfect.

This run was Perth Amboy's Susan Komen. Remember a few weeks before I'd done the NYC version (Steven Colbert's "signature?"). So now, I have 2 pink shirts. Oh boy oh boy.

Did the run, then grabbed some tasties, then back on NJT, got the 7:51 to Huntington, and home by 8:45. Not bad. A fun day spent with peeps.

What made this imp't: there WERE other dances on the card this wekeend: today was also Cow Harbor (uggggh, not AGAIN!!!) as well as the Hamptons Marathon and Half (no thanks, imagine getting in and outta there!!!!!) and Sunday the NYRR 18m tuneup (why? Run in AP?) and the SNCH 5k. Good luck to they that run them, rain and more rain.

Glad Sal hooked me up. Between hangin' with him, Travis, and Anita, we really had a good day. Forgot one thing...umm...oh yes, eat. Oh well, can do that Sunday.

Bad news: back to Toxichouse in the pm, my mail opened, same old shit. not so nice.

day 61

a day off, yummmm!!!!! No running, no work, no golf, no nuttin'. Just got outta bed @ the crack of 11:11, now off for some retail therapy.

BEAUTIFUL day, reconsidering the golf though :)

***OK, plated 18. Hadda, not too hot, not too cool. a purrrrrfect day, made for golf.

Got a call from Lynn. This explains alot, also explains how touched I am by the Striders. Remember I ranted the other day about a member hell bent on speaking in Oct, well, good news/bad news:

good news: it wasn't me, the person is actually bent.
bad news: the extent of their twistedness landed 'em in the hosp.

Turns out the poor person was actually losing it, resulting in yet another psych hospitalization. Now. Think. The person WAS lending their services, wouldn't take no for an answer-verbally abused me-but still, WAS lending their services. Translation: we-as a group-owe 'em a hospital visit.

day 60

again, much to be said for plan B.

Awoke, again, intermittent showers. Dayum! So, waited a few mins, rain stopped. Press on! Dressed, running shoes on (the hardest part IS getting out the door), got to the unit, checked e mail, then off for St.Francis. Felt so good, did the Teambrickquantumwellfeetwhatevertheyareinsteadofjoiningus 5k course, so 10 today. HUMID as hell, could-almost literally-cut the air with a knife. Tough breathing/great training.

Off manana, yummmmmm. A free day!

Conference today, all day, yecccch. Gotta remember, work is what you do in between runs.

day 59

still a bit sore from last night but if I was preregged for a race would I do it? So, St.Francis this am. Felt good to even things out-did 5m yesterday @ "race pace," then back to St.Francis today at more distance pace. Glad I overcame my initial response: when I awoke, it was a shower. Weather peeps HAD predicted scattered/isolated showers. I was ready to take a day off, but remembering it can rain in H'ville and not in Queens, I proceeded. Glad I did. Never, ever wanna blow an opportunity. Right knee IS bad though. Still, The Big One is closer than we think.

Got the MOST bizarre call yesterday. I'd been asked n' texted by a few peeps, asking if it was ok to give my phone # as a Strider wanted to contact me. Of course I said ok, it IS a state phone, the club member is a taxpayer. Little did I know what I was in for. The person is on the warpath. Was hell bent on speaking on the October meeting. I said no, we have a speaker, but if they wanted Nov, they could have that. Person would NOT take no for an answer. Jeeeez. What the hell is wrong with people??? If you ask a question, if you volunteer your assistance, you're open to negative response. DUH. Truly, I don't understand some people.

Keith still has his cold, but he was back in school. He said, bless him, he didn't wanna miss 2 days in a row. As we're going over the events of his day, It is @ the bathroom sink-no joke-COLORING ITS HAIR. Now, take a moment. Let that sink in. Think, chemo, hair loss. It currently looks (and this IS accurate, not mean-spirited) like the Crypt Keeper with shards of few hairs fighting to grow, and It colors these????? Now again, think...major contributor to lymphoma is...bing bing bing!!!!! HAIR COLORING PRODUCTS. Amazing. Between the phone call and this, I'm stunned.

Tonight: core training.

Core training went well, STILL glad I did St.Francis in the am. Periodic showers never appeared. Clouds threatened, but didn't deliver. Thank G.

Gave T my U2 tix (a staff person's child is in school w/the edge's child-tix were a nice perk). There were actually tix still on sale, but considering how big Giants stadium is, anything over 60,000 is considered a sell-out. Just can't get excited about them. When Bono was nominated for Sainthood I quit. Neil, another story. Always kept it in perspective.

day 58

Meet the Mets, beat the Mets...I really mean that, beat them senseless!!!

Took Keith to his first game @ the new Shea Stadium, against the dreaded Braves and...and...first inning: BOOM! Braves score 4 runs, and that was only the beginning. Final score 11-3. And for THIS I missed the 2 hour season opener of House???

Seriously, Tom came up with the ducats, had 4, it was him/one of his 3 sons, Keith and I. GREAT seats-cheapies-$15, uppermost section, but still great seats, total view except for the left fielder.

Keith had been sick-again-missed school. I asked if he was well enough to go, having my attitude he of course responded positively. Now remember where we sleep kiddies. This meant: he was sick, alone all day, hadn't eaten (gee, wonder why he's sick so often). It finally comes home, again decries Its need for me to give It money, then unloads Its car from grocery shopping. NONE of the foods being anything I eat. And I should care.

So, Keith gets dressed, Tom arrives, we take the LIRR in. Couldn't have been easier. Jump on the 7 train, we're off, showed Keith my old haunts: 74th n' Roosevelt, Junction Blvd...

Get to the stadium, walk a few blocks lookin' for something to eat. 3 blocks later we find a pizza joint-a Mexican pizza joint-we let Keith choose. I order a large pie-was delish-and a caesar salad. When's the last time I had pizza??? But it was jwtdo. Keith scarfed it down.

We enter the stadium, they are quite taken with it. Carlos Beltran is in the lobby posing and signing-way cool.

The game, well. it sucked, but these ARE the Mets. Tom and I joked that the players were saving themselves/preventing injuries in view of next year.

You KNOW Keith was ill when he expressed NO interest in the team store. Usually he wants to walk away with SOMETHING in hand, not today, though he DID want something to eat during the 5th inning-chicken tenders. He ate every bite. Junk food boy.

Throughout the game we were joking about one of the vendors-a BODACIOUS Boricua with curves everywhere hawking soda and water. Keith almost wet his pants imitating her. What a blast!!!

Left right before the 7th inning stretch, got the 10:05 to Hicksville, in bed by 11:15. Nice. Thanks Tom!!!

What a genuinely nice guy.

Tonight, track work.

This just in: track work went well, though a misnomer. Was the last of the season-nice to get Tuesdays back, but that's not the point. We did 5m @ race pace. I did ok. Work paid off.

day 57

St.Francis esta manana, hadda. BEAUTIFUL morning, cool, niiiiiice. And, using yesterday's half as a long(er) run, I hadda do the miles today. Right knee achy, but it's to be expected.

Requesting Friday off to chill, really need a day of isolation.

Looking forward to tonight's game with The Boys-father/son night out. And best-no rain forecasted! Can't beat that!

Go Mets!!!!!

day 56

did well in the Queens Half. NOT a pr, but hey, not getting any younger. They DID change the course so you don't do a double loop-nice. But, tough nontheless. My best here was 1:59, worst 2:20, so I'll take today as middle ground. THAT'S the rub with track work: better 5k times, but distances, not so much.

Started with my new best friend Warwick. Asked where his "book shirt" was-he was wearing another. Also saw Bobbi Nigro @ the finish. She'll speak @ our October meeting. Told her I can't make her tuesday classes due to track work, she graciously offered to run a session for the club. GREAT to see the College Point peeps where I didn't expect them. Years ago they gave control of this one to the NYRR, so they volunteer en masse (such as their "masse" is), making it a nice push when you see 'em.

We had 10 run it, I was near the bottom time wise, yet ALL of us were in the top 50%. NICE!

Then, headed to The Parkhouse for the refreshment run. Wanted to see firsthand what was up with this Jew bullshit. Some were up in arms that we had the audacity to have refreshment day on a Jewish Holy Day. Fuck 'em. We're not a religious group. Turns out it was indeed well attended, plenty of peeps and goodies. Again, nice!

Back to Toxichouse-front door WIDE open (unbelievable!!!)- to find another of It's handwritten rants, didn't read, threw out imemdiately, mental bitch. Proceeded to do the lawn (13.1 miles wasn't enough, let's REALLY damage that knee). Hey, less addictive than valium.

Manana, Mets game with Spike, Tom and his offspring. Yay!!!

Funny, Shebitch has no problem telling me the various things I should do. Do I do this to It? Does It take Spike ANYWHERE????? I'm truly deeply enjoying watching It freak about Its growing bills. Good on ya'. Made your bed...

Really good time yesterday teaching a newbie to golf. Forgot how messed up I was-and at times still am-so I was patient. Passing on the addiction.

Saw "Love Happens." HORRIBLE reviews, but made me cry. If you've ever been in love, or especially, if you've lost a love, you MUST see this movie. It's really amazing. Whomever wrote it has had their heart broken. I could've written it myself, but I wouldn't give that much power to the heartbreaker.

What slays me is the precariousness of my situation. It loathes me, yet I can't give It half my shit. I'm truly stuck. And it's all for Keith. Again, imagine what his life would be like if I weren't around? Perish THAT thought. And for him, I suffer the indignity of being the object of scorn to all who knew me. THAT hurts. But what twists the knife in my heart is my situation forcing me into a life without love. I have love in my life yet can't act upon it. THIS hurts, badly. Knowing someone is so close, yet... Oh well. (And yes, I remember when I was grotesquely obese and thought thin people must automatically be happy). I have joy in my life, I have peeps. I have my son. My career enables me to assist the throw-away's of New York. This is my world.

day 55

rest day, no run. 90 mins on the ellip, then at least 9 holes-giving a golf lesson (scary thought!!!), then a flick.

Met Andie n' Tom @ The Parkhouse, gave 'em their stuff for manana. As well as the half, there's the Chris Hoban 5m. If I was smart I'd do THAT one, I'm not smart. Shorter distance, GREAT post race party (cops, 'natch) but naaaaaaah, go for the ball buster. Half marathon, a motherfucker of a hill you have to run twice, and parking's a bitch. Gotta do it.

day 54

nice week! Finshed well.

10 this am, St.Francis + the Team Wellbrickfeet 5k course. BEAUTIFUL morning. Cool, getting toward crisp, but not quite there yet.

Manana off (day before the big run on Sunday).

Made it through another week! Thanks!!!

day 53

be glad it's not you!

When cancer strikes, everyone's life revolves around it, either by design or default.

It still is in and out of the hospital. Its blood levels (white cells, red cells, potassium levels, the hundreds of other chemicals) aren't normal yet, so harvesting of stem cells can't yet begin. THEN Its in hospital for 4 weeks, followed by 2 months rehab. Now here's the rub: It can't be around pets in this period, so, in Its ongoing effort to fuck everything up and make bad decisions (wouldn't YOU give the pet to a friend for temp care???), Its planning to live elsewhere for weeks. This is GREAT news for me, but awful for the family unit on many levels. Keith has a "now you see me, now you don't" person in his life, It won't be there to fulfill Its domestic responsibilities. I win because obviously tranquility will reign, and I won't have to suffer the indignity of a mental patient ranting at the most inopportune times, much less waking me from a perfect sleep to go psycho. So, we (Keith and I) live day to day, never knowing exactly where It will be. Lovely. Got Kevorkian's number?

What absolutely slays me is the fact that this marks year 7 of this nightmare, and who's been the constant throughout??? When Its friends/groupies sided with her and satanized me, who still was there and made sure It had benefits as well as a roof? Nice to be appreciated ain't it? When I indicated (don't waste my breath anymore) It had me to thank, I was told "It's your job." True, but thanks is always in order, and, if that's MY job, what role does It play? Enough with the victim bull. Even before Ccancer, It didn't do squat. This merely offers a tragic excuse.

The lesson (among many) is that despite what anyone says (though, as in this case, all our friends as well as family believe I'm Satan), if you know you're righteous, that's all that matters. Just ask Job. It hurts in ways you'll never know, but it is what it is. Gotta keep keepin' on.

Core class last night. Felt great. It was off for 3 weeks, now the cycle begins anew. Good. Doing the same crap, the body levels off. Teacher said I wasn't around for a while, was trying to call to see if I was ok. When I explained wassup @ Toxichouse, all made sense. Nice to be missed.

St.Francis this morning, felt REALLY good, hmmmmm, wonder why??? Also, changed running shoes-for daily runs that is. As if by magic, knees feel better, back feels better.

Queens half this weekend. HATE this one, but GREAT training. 2 loops (UGGHH!!!) with one killer hill. Also, the start SUCKS-thousands of people in one narrow street. This clears quickly thank G.

6 weeks until The Big One!!!

day 52

good timing, for ONCE!!!

Has to be the first am I DIDN'T get "Lucy'd." Did St.Francis, stayed dry, no rain. Felt good. After yesterday's workout, always amazed I can walk let alone run, but all good so far. Now, usually when precip is predicted I make it to the St.Francis turnaround and then Lucy pulls away the football/the skies open and I get soaked. Today, actually made it back to unit, toweling off post shower and BOOM! Niiiiice.

Hill workout yesterday, 1/2 mile x 6 repeats. Russ n' I appear to be the last 2 showing up. Sucks for me, only a matter of time with each workout that I get lapped, but it's a good reminder that I gotta pick it up!

Love the fact that workout returned to Alley Pond. The track is gorgeous, but this reaffirms that with AP, you got it all. Jaime runs here regularly, need I say more???

Re: elections, can you beLIEVE anyone's actually wasting $ thinking they can beat Bloomberg??? Wassup with this Thompson guy. Get a grip, check that ego. I always had the thought that whomever THINKS they can beat a clear no brainer, should be shot, and all their campaign warchest given to the poor. What a waste. Worse yet, what a bunch of suckers who fund him.

day 51

Two days in a row of nice weather. Today's predicted warmer than yesterday, but after the rain, I'll take it!

Hadda fight myself not to do St.Francis this am, with workouts tonight, can't shoot my load this am, save it for the evening.

Track tonight, he said last week: hills, repeat hills. Ouch. This'll hurt, but times are def improving. Distances still suck, but 5k times are dramatically better. It helps to regain that sense of running fastER. Rather than maintaining a consistent/marathon/half-marathon pace, going harder. Complicating matters are the knees, but whatthehell, pain is good (n'est pas???).

Reviewing the Ocean to Sound results, now I'm REALLY proud. Not just for us-we did 2 minutes faster than last year-and THAT'S without our star runner!!! But proud of ALL the teams, when the 3rd place team in your division beats yours by well over an hour, it tells you we're-collectively-not getting older, but better-some of us at least.

AND, for all his bullshit, bless Vince. Rarely wears the colors, runs and publicizes for Northport and those OTHER green special people, but steps up when needed. Sam didn't show for his leg, Vince stepped up, AND ran faster than his assigned leg. Nice. We're dysfunctional as HELL, but we step up when called.

Signed up for the Norway Run-know I'll be disappointed-you know, the "why can't things be like they were" thing. Once we went as a group, had a blast, but then...life interfered. Their loss. I'm there.

Also, the Midnight Run. LOVE that one.

Now, gotta go home later and sign up for the Get to the Point 5k, you know, that neighborhoody Brooklyn run, a.k.a. the "Glutton bowl." Was on the fence, it really interferes with pre-marathon racing, but Deb's doing it, so I'll have a partner in crime. Be nice to get more AP peeps there-this one really shows what a neighborhood can do.

(STILL can't get over Alessa cheering on the runners during my leg on Saturday. Wow. Not associated with our club anymore-over typical trivial bullshit, but shows up when needed. Once a Strider, always a ???).

day 50

back to the familiar (not an entirely bad thing).

Did 10 esta manana, knowing tomorrow is track work, n' did the 5k yesterday.
On a morning like this, felt great-cool enough for you to see your breath. Love this-and 5 degrees cooler.

Really had fun this weekend, god bless the peeps.

day 49

my how we've grown! In years past, other local clubs were the example, now, they're but a memory, pity. I miss the way things were. But we should be proud, 3, count 'em, 3 teams!!! One top 5!!! We done good!!! And today, the Club bus trip for the walkers and any others who cared to go. Wow. No lack of things to do. Would MUCH rather chill @ home, but it isn't that, it's Toxichouse. Pity. But, it is what it is. Makes events like yesterday that much more impressive. Despite some lead cogs in the wheel not making the scene-Ken, Rob, we went on as usual-with some there solely to cheer us on: i.e. Conrad and Hank. Bless 'em.

Today, the Run for the Cure 5k. Again, I was the only local. SOOOO many people, over 10,000-too many walkers. DID run into Anita n' Travis-no hiding is there?, but some who used to do this one have faded from the scene. Pity. Their loss.

I went specifically to get Steven Colbert's autograph. There I am, sharpie in hand, approach him and...and...ask for his "signature." JEEEZ. Can you beLIEVE that??? Asking for a "signature." He kind'a looked @ me, then signed my bib. God what a friggin' dork!

Lots of celebs: Uma Thurman-tall/skinny/VERY nice, Mayor Bloomberg-average height-not short as you might think, Gov.Patterson, Cyndi Lauper-surprisingly stand-offish, and Judge Judy-a friggin' midget with Joan Rivers' plastic surgery-her face was freakin' frozen!!!

Ended up a gorgeous day, got a call from Pret, took a walk @ AP. Nice way to end the weekend.

day 48

all for one, one for???

Did the Ocean to Sound, 3 teams, 24 peeps, and we STILL didn't win,goddamn it!!!

If only they went 5 deep, we would'a gone away with the women placing-they came in top 5, but we did very well and should be proud.

Other than GLIRC, we had the most teams, and we def had the most visible. NHP kicked ass!!! Their Men's Senior Masters came in 3rd, and STILL beat us by an hour and 3 mins. But that wasn't the point. THIS shows why we're Striders. 24 bizarre people coming together for a shared purpose. NICE!!! AND, the shirts DIDN'T suck, unusual.

Only at an event like this would you get a lift from a person that moments before was a total stranger, or better: go to your leg of the race now knowing who was going to drive your car to the end. Amazing.

What a total and complete joy!!!

day 47

WOW!!!!! TRIED to take a day off, but couldn't, hadda play!!! The sport of the gods-hockey-beckoned. Didn't get any sleep last night but, what the hell. Got to break heads.

This am, rain. Perfect. Knew the predicted weather from the 5 day forecast, this way I'll have fresh (er) legs for manana. This one's always a ton of fun, with a killer party after. The ONE time all year I turn into a glutton.

Shebitch update: guess who claims to be in recovery, sponsors groupies, yet took sleep medication for an extended period, and NOW is taking oxycodon? Yes kiddies, the model of sobriety Itself. STILL think I make this stuff up?

Had a TERRIRFIC evening with Spike before hockey. Hung for a few hours, monitored his homework, really good stuff. He and I could take on the world and win. Helluva child. Made his dinner, then when he went to sleep, off to the rink. Lovely, really lovely. Home before he awoke. Tonight sleep.

day 46

kind words from Helen re: Its condition. People just don't seem to grasp Its status though. That's a good thing. Unless you live with it you haven't a clue. Some say "Yes, my _____ had cancer." That's nice, but you didn't live with them 24/7, they weren't your spouse, they didn't estrange you from ALL family and friends, and didn't suffer from bipolar disorder. People truly don't get it.

10 today, hadda, St.Francis + the Quantum/Brick/Feet/Well course. Tomorrow's an off day to rest for Ocean to Sound and the Komen run Sunday.

I almost feel for those that haven't gone through what's happenin' @ Toxichouse, because on one level or another, all will. I guess I'm fortunate that I experienced so much death personally @ age 5, then this current disaster. Gotta get easier next year n'est pas? (cynical yes, yet optimistic. You CAN be both).

day 45

Gotta log 'em while you can!

St.Francis esta manana! Felt really good. Amazing what a difference dif running shoes makes. Note to self (and the planet): when you find a pair that works, BUY IN BULK.

Until (and possibly including) Saturday, chance of showers, so hadda pack in the miles while I could.

Throughout, coach's words rang in my head: "pick it up." Not said in an intimidating way, but a gentle nudge. Sure enough, it worked. Truly a gentleman.

Tonight, core training.

day 44

so much for the idea of ending a nice weekend.

I go home, hoping it's empty, it was, yay!!!!! Peace and quiet, or so I thought. Did the Long Beach 5m, time suuuuuucked, but that wasn't the point. After doing The Manhattan Run, had no business spelling the word "run," let alone doing it.

It returns with Keith in tow, thence the fireworks. Of course, It sleeps on an air mattress in the middle of the living room (how DO you spell "trailer trash?"). Guess what's deflated? Of course I'm to blame. I tell Keith to put his sneakers on and jump into the truck, to get the hell away from possessed bitch, It follows us to the truck, screaming the entire time (yes, I was fully prepared to drive away with It still holding on, fortunately, It let go). Remember kiddies, I was also the target of head spinning pea soup ejection due to my having the gall to actually have what amounted to 2 bites of lobster (less than a claw, with an entire lobster still in the fridge). Imagine my balls, actually eating something in the fridge??? I obviously have no morals. Bastard aren't I??? Think about THAT the next time you open your fridge.

The backstory: It's freaking because It's bills are piling up, even Avon sent It's account to debt collection. I LOVE it!!!

Of course, as we went to the movies (District 9, very good), Keith is telling me the lovely things It says about me. Wonderful.

Don't need to exaggerate, this crap is amazing.

Happy Labor Day weekend.

Track work tonight, 4x1600m. Ouch. Funny how it works: you FEEL like you're dragging, but in fact, after the first 4x1600, you pick up speed. Alot to be said for warming up, though I'll swear to my grave, running a marathon is easier than doing track work.

day 43

so far so good, on my way to ending a nice weekend. And manana, life begins to become a bit more normal, yes kiddies, school starts. No more 3-4 am bedtimes for bonzo.

Did the Long Beach run this am, felt pretty good. Amazing what different running shoes will do!!!

Summer frankly sucked, was one crisis after another. For those of us who neither go to school nor teach, summer is merely a warmer season. Living with what I live with, it's just another 3 months to deal with. But I DO regret not having those father and son good times others do. When your first priority is not walking away from the bitch, survival is the priority.

So it goes...

day 42

did the Manhattan Run. What a blast!!! I'll do this and The Marathon until I'm crippled-which at this rate should be any day now!

Met Tom @ The Park, we drove in-actually, HE drove, I rode. Nice. Only 30 mins. Amazing what happens when you're with someone who knows what they're doing! Found a parking spot, away we went.

Busses were there earlier than the runners-after the first year Curtis learned. Met Polansky, he asked if I had anything left for today (after doing yesterday's 1 miler), of course I responded "sure, ibuprofen," bless him. GLIRC represented, as did AP, Hellgate and College Point. Guess who wasn't there? Yes, THEM. Give up.

Bless Curtis and his people, wonderful souls who do it for all the right reasons, the usual Curtis peeps were there-Michele, the announcer, the cadets.....bless them all. Ran into Dentist, Sal, Warwick Ford (Fun On Foot In New York), and the guy from College Point who did Quebec with us, ended up running the whole run with him-talking without ceasing-a 14.2 mile conversation (typical guy shit-we talk for 2+ hours, STILL dunno his name). Nice. Before you knew it, we were @ the numbered streets, then the cruise ships, then Chelsea Piers. The time really flew.

Did great time wise-better than last year 2:11. How I did faster than the nyc half, when this is a longer run, I haven't a clue, all I know is I had a blast!

Passed all the memory spots-the pier where Nike had it's training run when the Blue/Red people were actually a group, the 103 st training spot, the water stops where Pret waited for me, the spot where the trapeze school was.....many many memories. All of them good.

Not bad considering my ligament's fucked.

And if it wasn't too late for the last ferry, I would'a done the Governor's Island run, ah well, another time. Can't miss a Curtis event. Thanks, it always kicks ass!!!
Gotta love a run with balls- you see the nyc skyline and say "ran it." You see people who run halves and think "shit, did more than that." Niiice. And an amazing time to boast of, really nice. (Can't BELIEVE I beat my nyc half time @ a longer run).

day 41

ended the week on a high note, walk in the park w/Pret. Who knew asphalt could be so infused with meaning?

Question: wassup w/the phone? This one seems divided upon gender lines (with exceptions of course). With guys, phone conversations occur erratically, are VERY brief, and generally consist of a few grunts and a nod (yes, you CAN nod over the phone). Then, you can not speak for weeks. With women it's dif, i.e. "why didn't you call?" It's a phone. Only a phone. Exists for data transmission. Jeeeeeeeez. I obviously get this alot.

This am, hang with the club, then off to the Pat LaFontaine run-gotta get my bib signed. Know I should take this day off, but what harm can a mile do? Esp w/14.2 manana. Get to bed early then hit NYC. More to come kiddies!

***This just in: did the race, knee hurts, but the ligament seems intact...for now...

Saw Polansky on my way to the start, he broke my balls saying I looked "excited," (I was terrified of causing permanent damage, yet couldn't NOT do the race. Accounts for crappy time: 7:55, but hey, I'm not in the hospital.). If you're preregged, you run the fuckin' thing.

Sue n' Vince were there wearing enemy uniforms. Tsk tsk tsk. At least I stayed true.

Tom couldn't make it, stuck @ home t.c.b. Picked up his stuff for him.

Looks like a few GLIRC'ers will make the scene manana. Nice. THIS is what it's all about. Be there and be present. THIS is how you stay in the loop.

day 40

...now THAT didn't hurt a bit!

Had the bored meeting, then the membership meeting. If it weren't for events like these, social skills wouldn't ever get practice. It was fun. The bored meeting raised a number of "out of the box" issues-nice job Alan; reiterated the need to maintain an active website-props Deb; actually got the walkers active-again, props, and got a great discussion re: 'roids. Alan really took the ball and ran with coordinating the bbq. Think about it-everyone has ideas-how many practice them??? Without controlling every aspect, we had a terrific bbq-potluck, everyone brought something different, it all came together-PLENTY of food. Of course, we ARE Alley Pond, our complainers must do what they do best, i.e. Astrid shows and whines that she didn't know (was she @ the last meeting? Did she check the website???). These are the things that make the club cool-bunch of dysfunctional people coming together for a shared concern.

Ocean to Sound is looking good, bless our crowd, even have a couple of alternates!!!

The right people are asking the right questions re: my well being, bless 'em. Knowing they're there is plenty. These would be the friends It thinks nonexistant. Good, better this way. Let It think what It wants. It will anyway.

Here ends a week of peace and quiet domestically. Come home, a wagging tail greets me, wonderful. REALLY miss Keith. My only lament is all the cool stuff fathers and sons do. Did we do Splish Splash? He has a multi-use Great Adventure pass-did we use it??? No. Parents who support one another do these things. The father can enjoy q/t with his son knowing he'll come home to dinner, laundry, and shopping. When you're concerned with survival, everything else is a luxury. THAT sucks, but, it is what it is.

***NYC Half Pix added.

day 39

...it was the best of times/it was the worst of times.

Good news is: me n' ma' dawg. Chillaxin', coolin' out. Lawn done last weekend, no "musts" left to do. Yummmmm.

bad news: Keith is with his brotherfromanothermother.

Yin/Yang n'est pas?

It's in hospital, no disasters @ home, no traumas, just blissful peace. THIS is why I pay a mortgage. Nice!!!!!

Tonight, bored then membership meeting-bbq tonight!!! Weather's predicted to be nice. Dayum-a terrific week.

day 38

ahhhhhh, sooo nice to go home and relax after a stimulating workout. Last evening was niiice. Only could'a been better if Keith were there, but he's having a better time. @ home he'd have rules, with brotherfromanothermother he does as he pleases-summer bes that way. If he wasn't a good kid I'd be concerned.

St.Francis this am. Always amazed I can actually do this after track work, but the low miles of track work balance out. Right knee still sore, but I'll live.

day 37

...speaking of "internal sabotage"

back to Toxichouse yesterday pm, knowing It wasn't in-more tests. Took Keith to see Halloween 2, GREAT flick, blood, more blood, what's not to love?

It returns @ 8:30, lobsters in tow, cooked 'em, after yet another rage filled scream-a-thon. Now imagine, while the rest of the world is chilling after dinner, mid evening, this beast charges into the place to cook lobster @ this hour-irrespective of what's happening within the four walls. (and It decries Its need for a "stress free environment").

Screaming ensues, I should take Keith clothes shopping...I should________I should______Funny, I AM apparently a single parent. While It does as It pleases (remember that Social Security check??? apparently it's for lobster) I'm supposed to do everything else. Screaming about my salary (apparently it's $$$ the state freely gives with no expectation of anything in return), more screaming "my friends think you_______," @ that point I quit, started retorting: "your friends are gullible, believe whatever they're told, may kiss my butt unless they pay my bills, are amqazing judgemental considering their ognorance, and deserve your fate." Figured that summed it all up n'est pas? And yes, Keith Was present throughout. However, there comes a time when you MUST respond otherwise you're the orifice from whence he came (gotta remember that line, good one eh wot?).

Middle of the night, It must return to the e.r. Low potassium. Why it shared this with me I haven't a clue.

Yes, this IS a, now, 7 year nightmare.

Thank GOD track work tonight.

Track workout was good, HATE the track, but results speak for themselves. Tonight, 6 laps @ 10k, 6 laps @ 5k, laps to warm up n' cool down. Nice.

**Check below, pic of the wedding.