Father's Day

a.k.a. "why I could give LESS than a shit about people's opinions."

Well, Father's Day is at its close, and Keith has spent the weekend @ his brotherfromanothermother's. Good for him-he needs to spend time with peers-much less a peer whom he respects and is a good example for him. But not having him here hurts. The fair we attended since he was old enough to walk is here, and he isn't, THAT hurt.

But what REALLY affects me is: Shebitch has been behaving. Now, do the math, Keith isn't here, It behaves. Keith isn't here, I feel a hole in my soul. Hmmmmm. Think It has a lack of parenting skills which sends It into a rage spiral? Easier to blame me for whatever, than to accept one's own limitations. From talking with peeps, it turns out this is common-spouses often do this to their spouses-blame hub and bitch incessantly.

I look @ Fathers and Sons who do stuff together, and envy that. Forgetting that part of that scene is a supportive spouse. Instead, I'm stuck with mental chaos of the day. Tough to undertake anything with your son when basic life's necessities aren't attended to: shopping, cleaning etc....

Now, why the comment about people's opinions? Know when you're told "people are saying," or better, "some folks are saying_____about you." I know when I act, whatever occurs is from my heart with no agenda, thus cannot be wrong. Sometimes this involves tough choices. So, whenever those words are uttered, I know it's dysfunction and chalk it up to the person saying it's illness. Having a son is the best thing that ever happened, but it hurts on days like this when I KNOW all I get is shit. G is watching, G knows what the score is, and that must suffice.

No card(s), no cologne, no tie, nothing. So it goes......Hope he one day realizes I could have been selfish and left It, thus leaving him with mental bitch. Even if he never does, it doesn't matter. Just do the right thing, no matter what others say, or do, or don't do.

So it goes.......