6/26/16

6/26/16
Achilles Run, "Stay thirsty my friend."

Thursday, July 31, 2008

I'm baaaaack!!!

whew! been a long time (4 or so days), missed my Line.

Did St.Francis, amid much trepidation. Knee bothersome, but hey, LIFE hurts, running, not so much. Felt good to be back, though REALLY humid, as in: put the defogger on in the veeeeeeeehicle, didn't do much good on the way in. WAY humid, but terrific training.

Good to be centered again.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

tgiw???

a hard earned day off. Hadda give in to the knees. Must be some kind'a delayed reaction. Couldn't even do an easy 4 or 5. Gots'ta listen to the bod. Don't go there, not THAT kind'a blog.

Manana the Ultramarathon flick. Was surprised as hell to have been sitting across the table from him @ Harrisburg. Quite a normal guy. Excited to see it.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

this thing we have

read the Strider newsletter, the article from Stan. If you don't tear up, you don't get it. Hence, "this thing we have."

STILL riffin' off the 1/2. Lots of fun!!! REALLY wish all my peeps were there, but such is life.

Did ok @ the State Parks Caumsett 5k, surprised I was able to run the whole thing. I wasn't the only one who'd done the half the day before-we ARE a sick bunch n'est pas???

Did 86th. in the am, hadda reconnect. All is once again right with the world. REALLY wanted to do St.Francis, but not quite ready to get fitted for the walker yet.

Came home, Shebitch on a tear. Today is 16 days since Keith's birthday n' she has yet to give him his gift. Parenting?????? Didn't stop it from going to the beach and AGAIN ignoring It's offspring. If you were one of It's groupies, wouldn't you ask what Spike was doing for hours unattended???? SOME parents actually WANT to spend time with their kids.

Thank G for this thing we have.

Monday, July 28, 2008

I've had better ideas

ok, should'a/could'a/would'a.....

Should'a taken the day off but noooooooo......

Could'a chilled, taken it easy, but nooooooooo...

Would'a...ah hell, what's the point, I love this shit!!!

Did the Caumsett 5k, yes, after doing the half yesterday. Rationalization? Hey, it was only a half.

Go ahead, kick me in the head.

(and yes, I'd do it all over again)

Sunday, July 27, 2008

so...how was it/was it good for you?

memories of the half-in chron ord:

-woke up, got outta bed...too much info? Awoke @ 3, listening to Newsradio 88, headed home to shut the windows-dayum!!!

-into Manhattan @ 4, perfect parking spot, ya know how after the adrenaline pumps, the post race rush, your head is up your ass n' you forget lil' things like.....PARKING??? Got the ONE spot tough to forget-no, not steps of City Hall, 'round the corner from NYRR, on 88th/side of the Guggenheim-right next to construction-solo spot. OK, so far so good. Tilt the seat back, get some z's, when BOOM! GODDAMNIT!!! RAIN! OK, don't panic, "passing showers," means just that. Keep firm in your conviction that G loves the righteous.

-knock on the veeeeeeehicle window-it's The Zohan! Yes, Yariv!!! Great to see a fellow Strider. Together, we await the passing of the storm, under the overhang of the Guggenheim. Actually understood one outta every 3 words he uttered.

-Rain stops, off to the start-6:10 ish. OK, so far so good.

-few announcements, start the run, feeling ok-warm/humid, but ok-beats slogging thru rain-shades of 2 years ago are inescapable though. Also, ghosts of races past-REALLY left a hole in my heart, life goes on.

-didn't seem like the majority of the run was in the park before (much to my surprise/lo n' behold, Maria's a spectator!!!), but no matter, split CP @ 72nd, just past 7 miles, hills done, ready for The City. SECOND WIND> This shit never gets old. Spectators lining the street, and-just as ironic as banana peels all over the asphalt @ The Big One, sponges all over. This some kind'a joke? No, they DID feel good-quite refreshing, but dangerous as shit.

-Midtown was an absolute delight, passed Nita's spot, passed, wait, is that??? Yes, doubled back and picked up an Ipod! NICE. Poor runner must've dropped it, tough, This is NY, deal.

-Get to Times Square, memories of an amazing meal @ the Hard Rock, my heart fills, and...what the.....YES! They announced Karaoke @ Times Square-n' this was THE SHIT!!! G was not only smiling, but laughing His ass off-what is everyone doing-miming along to "it's fun to stay @ the Y-M-C-A!!!" TOO FUNNY!!! Thanks G, when my heart wasn't with me, you put my peep there.

-Get to the West Side highway after passing Port Authority, memories of too many bus trips to High School (they DID have planes as I learned too late), my Mother meeting me @ the bus.....She was a tough one. Pass the Powergel station, Mr. "If it's free, it's for me," gavooned 4.

-the last 4 miles were muuuuuch easier, flat, enjoying the last part of The Manhattan Run. Hooked up with Vinny Croce-broke his balls "what, nothing on Long Island today?"

-Get to the finish, chip removal, individual bags of munchies, hooked up with Laughlin, introduced him to The Voice-Terry was @ the finish though not announcing.

-Looked for the rest of the peeps-Yariv was long done, looked for Debbie-nuttin', Dovid was prob long done as well.

-back to the veeeeeehicle, people on the street asking what event was happening. Good reminder that there ARE people not directly involved, though a thing like this really makes you think Nike owns NY. We'll return the city when we're done with it ;) . Few voicemails, bless Tom-he remembered-wish he'd gotten in. He's trying to tempt me to do Sayville tonight. No way, POURING rain. Though throughout this run all I thought was "use this as a training run for 8-31." Funny how we always look for the next big thing. Keeps us going.

-and yes, STILL look @ the finish for Spike. No matter what, my dream of seeing my "family" @ the finish will always be there. Gotta have dreams.


***On the way home, listening to Opie n' Anthony on XM, they're interviewing the tightrope walker who did the WTC years ago (he just had a movie premiere about the experience). They asked him why he did it, n' it sums up why WE do the voodoo that we do: because it's who we are. Not some philosophical doublespeak, not some health club horseshit, just simply because who we are calls for us to do it. We're fulfilling our nature.

Spoke w/Tom-he's STILL doing the Sayville run. Downside of being preregged. Since returning to Toxichouse, the rain hasn't stopped. I'm talkin' downfuckingpour. ALMOST took a ride out, but with this rain, don't think so.

-checked the results: came in next to last Strider-wise (not unusual, they be some improvin' peeps), but did ok: 2:05. REALLY consistent splits-30 mins per 5k. Good training run.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

the countdown has begun

despite myself, did AP. Hadda. The Nike race is only a half, and let's face it: not very likely I'll win in my age group-or any for that matter. So what the hell, see the peeps, reconnect, touch based with the bored re: did they get the notice re: 7pm bored mtng.

BEAUTIFUL day, sunny, a tad humid but the oppressive weather won't kick in 'til later.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: see The Wackness. Ben Kingsley (this guy played Gandhi, what range!!!) in a role that really is the antithesis of all things SIR Ben Kinglsey-ish.

Friday, July 25, 2008

the thing of it is......

why do we who do the voodoo that we do get "it," while so many others chase their tails, looking for something to fill the void? No matter, thank G we got it.

Did St.Francis, really should'a taken the day off but first day in, seemingly, ages where it wasn't stupid humid nor raining. REALLY felt ok, took it real easy.

Went off to wontyoutakemeto Niketown to get my # for Sunday. Was a lil early, 15 minutes-by my standards that's late. Hooked up with some tourists, showed 'em where the event was. Unusual. Generally when tourists ask directions I lead 'em the wrong way just for spite-dunno why, just do. But not a runner.

Nice shirts, though they stole our motif-grey. Gotta love grey. AND, the BEST part: I'M NOT LAST!!! When they indicated seeded corrals, figured I'd get bibbed. THEN, when I saw my number was 7,7--- I got more nervous. But, bless the NYRR, they went by average-I'm exactly where I should be. Thanks G.

Picked up some crap I absolutely don't need but hadda have, i.e. a cowbell-gotta have more.

Races like this call to mind runs/ners past. I.E. the peeps we used to do races like this with. Some stick with it, become usual suspects. Others are m.i.a. Pity. Runs like this note the passing of time concretely, with memories of major accomplishments. Much better than some bullshit New Years Eve party-though the New Years run is an entirely dif story-equally cool. Nice too to see "the usual suspects," i.e. "Mohawk guy," the guy who sets up @ expos to sell his custom frames. He never forgot our first contact: Philly Marathon in '03 when I had the mohawk cut. Guys like Corey from Nike, great memories of meeting up with the peeps in Central Park for the Boathouse training run-first time I kept pace with Chris-for a meter or so/trying to win Lisa a spot, the Heartland Brewery training run-the rain DID eventually stop, doing the last couple'a miles with Debbie........ahhhh memories. Just gots'ta make new ones eh?

REALLY wish residents of Toxichouse would be there to cheer-lots of cool places, including a "sing along" @ 44th street, but such is life.

Now, chill n' look forward to Sunday. Gonna havta sit on my hands, and feet!!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

lock n' load

YES hate running in the rain.

YES did it again this am. (rationalization: prediction of passing thundershowers for the 1/2, may as well get used to it. AHHH, just like the good old days n'est pas? Remember the first Nike 1/2? If you were one of the bluepeoplewhoshouldthrowinthetowelandjoinaREALrunningclub, you were dry. The rest of us got soaked)

Was pouring when I woke up, pouring when I hit 7-11, but we all know "passing showers" end as soon as they start, so.........

When I hit the job, was still split. Figured if it was pouring, go to spinning, if not.....So, the rain had stopped. COOL! Hit The Line, felt good, went to Kissena, turned, back on The Line, then BOOM. Soaked again. Now I know how Charlie Brown feels when Lucy snatches away the football for the millionth time. BUT, if I hadda do it all over again, I would. Got a longER run in, ready for Sunday.

...and yes, regged for the Human 10k. That means the Manhattan Run @ the crack of dawn, then 6.2 miles in the evening. Hadda. When some train, they split their long runs in 2. I'll treat 8-31 in that fashion. Can't beat it really. Do the 10k, then a private Nike concert @ Randall's Island. NICE. Tell me again, exactly how much Ibuprofen causes ulcers?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

ANOTHER fine mess I've gotten me into

a.k.a. "seemed like a good idea @ the time."

What's the toughest part of running? Getting out the door.

What's the toughest part of getting out the door? rain.

Planned on doing St.Francis, get to 7 eleven, BOOM, torrential freakin' rain-to the extent that I turned around n' headed home to shut the windows.

Headed back out, could it be? Rain dissipating. OK, now, with my luck, make it to The Line and BOOM all over again, but what the hell. Sweat/rain same thing, dif scent.

Did St.Francis. Started stupid humid and dry-following the downpour. Head to the big turn (steep downhill) and BOOM. Damn. Oh well, may as well enjoy it, so I did. Turning (can't beliEVE I'm saying this) lemons into (can't finish it, I just can't.)

Good news is: did the run, completed, another notch in the training belt. Better news: by 11am I was dry-running shoes especially so. Thank G for my job.

Latest prediction: downpour Sat night. Damn.

Now, gotta decide what to do re: 8-31. It Curtis's run which I gots ta do. Can't miss it. THEN @ 6 pm, the Nike Human Race 10k. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Coin flip?

STILL feelin' good about Monday night's race. The race itself was ok-nothing great re: time, but ok. What made it so cool-don't forget, SOMEONE here has an eating disorder-was the bbq after. Tom brought his propane stove, I picked up some HUGE London Broil, we cooked it up, added a salad, yummm. I actually felt normal. For the FIRST time in 48 years. THAT was nice. Adding to it, won @ the BAB van. Trivia: name the members of the Eagles. Too easy. Got a shirt. I asked if I could throw 'em a q, they said ok. Name Timothy B.Schmidt's FIRST group. They didn't get the answer-hat. Nice. Little things count.

***Shebitch out housecleaning. N' all the party shit is still all over. Wow.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

back on track

ok, dramadramadrama, then...in the horizon...it's a bird! It's a plane! It's THE LINE!!!

Got my St.Francis on, and all is well with the world.

Was s'posed to do 86th, after doing 86 in the am then the 5k Monday, needed an easier day, but couldn't resist pushing a bit. Overwhelming humidididity, took it slower than usual, but did it. Had some fun too. One of the usual suspects was nervous about another usual suspect-a homeless guy. Harmless, but how would she know? She asked me to accompany her for a bit, took her around the softball fields where he slept, then through the tunnel. Quite a kind woman-one of those "I'm blessed" people. The Line accepts all types, myself included.

Was gonna take Spike to see Hellboy 2, Shebitch took him to her friend's pool. Yes, you read correctly. Bitch FINALLY included him. I was very disappointed, but that's not his problem.

....I'll sleep when I'm dead................

Monday, July 21, 2008

CAN'T make this stuff up

good news: took it easy in the am, care for that knee-can't afford to blow it out before Sunday, knowing I had the 5k Summer Series tonight. OK, so far so good n'est pas?

Bad news: hadda go home. Bad real bad. Bitch went to the beach, Keith alone. Come home from the run @ 9pm, Keith's alone, Bitch working. He'll have been left unattended since 10am-@ which point he was probably sleeping.

This bitch is surreal.

You have a child, son or daughter. You struggled to have a child and POOF G or biology smiles upon you, you have a child. Do YOU proceed to spend every possible moment away from him??? To meet your OWN selfish needs????????? Unbelievable.

Nice summer memories for him.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

week in review

or at least the most anxiety producing part.

Party review:

It's @ the beach, Keith alone @ home. Nice. Can you imagine, day after a "birthday party," ditch the excuse for the party and go for more carcinoma. Never mind ALL the detritus from the party STILL all over the place.

Call a spade a spade: the party was an excuse to have It's groupies over. It was over by 10. Early night. Do the math. It claims It has to spend hours indoors this evening (you or I call it work), thus behaving as though It has a G given right to ditch all in favor of tanning @ the beach. That's right, a cancer survivor ignoring It's health not to mention It's son, to go to the beach. Surreal.

So, I cleaned up what I had to, i.e. It spreads It's crap like an amoeba: before a party YOU would clean your home, It just moves It's piles of crap to alternate storage areas-out of sight...until I come along and remove all It's amassed crap from Keith's bike shed back to a big shitpile whgere it belongs. Unreal.

Did It buy him a birthday gift? No. He wants a "chopper bike," you know the bicycles that look like low-rider Harleys. Of course since It can't close the deal on anything, he never got it. Claims it will be ordered. Now, understand, his birthday WAS the 13th, and he still has squat from It, but It is @ the beach. Real effort there. Parenting??? And yes, he was up 'til I awoke this am-4:30.

So, did St.Francis. Need the base of longer runs for the big one next week. Felt good, hot as hell, but good. Wanted to wait for the club n' run with them, but no-they run @ 8:30. By that time I was showered n' good to go.

Ran about 1/2 mile behind the Renegades. Good bunch of guys. Nonaffiliated, smart. Don't need other clubs' drama.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

if I can make it here, I can make it anywhere

ok. One week late, we "celebrate" Keith's birthday-really-It picks a date which suits It/where It's people can visit.

If I can make it through today I can do ANYTHING-yes, running marathons IS easier.

Imagine a house full of people who loathe you. Yep, this is my lot in life for the next 12 hours-damned if I do, damned if I don't: can't split on your sons supposed B'Day party, yet, gotta see the people who wish I was dead/paying alimony. Joy joy.

It has the gall to say tomorrow It must work @ 3, will be indoors for 8 hours, thus I must ________. Now readers, how many of YOU are indoors for 8 hours-we in the real world call it "work." It thinkls It has the G given right to abandon It's offpsring for further carcinoma. PARENTING????

So, did I do the refreshment run or the NYRR 4m? What do YOU think?

-fyi: took Keith to see The Dark Knight. REALLY good. anything that keeps my attention for 2 1/2 hours, need I say more? Heath Ledges DOES deserve the posthumous Oscar. Wow. Line of the movie: "I'm not a monster, just a little ahead of the curve." ROFL!!!! I got fed up with Shebitch leaving him alone all day, so I went home @ lunchtime, threw him in the veeeehicle, had him hang with me @ the job for a couple of hours (everyone LOVED seeing him), then off we went to the flick. Had a blast.

But, again, Shebitch :"why don't you take him_____," when's the last time you read of It doing anything with him. It'd rather ditch him n' go to the beach. Really a crime.

Friday, July 18, 2008

got a 40?

miles that is.

Did what I usually don't, counted miles. Doing the runs I've been doing since Monday, today makes 40, averaging 8 daily.

Knees STILL holding up, no one's more amazedthan I am.

THIS really makes up for all the crap on the Toxichouse front.

thanks G.

lead, follow, or get the fuck outta the way!

so, took the bull by the horns. Shebitch was @ work, again, leaving a child alone for 12 hours. Came home, after prepping him for what was to come.

Sat with him and explained the consequences of his actions. Explained that we'd agreed to take away the computer if his marks continued to dip, but we wouldn't do that as long as he agreed to sign the contract with which he was presented-yes, a contract. His signature attested to his understanding of no computer nor tv unless his homework checked (if I get home late, oh well), no computer/tv until dog walked and poop cleaned, in bed by midnight weekdays/1am weekends, and he was joining in a sport-of his choice-but he MUST join one. Of course the choices were to sign the contract or lose his precious computer (it WAS purchased for school, theoretically-yeah right). Then, the fun could start. Even explained that to not hold him responsible would be enabling him.

Now dear reader, am I the only motherfucker who can explain this crap??? It isn't rocket science, and yes, in so doing I firther enable Shebitch by taking up It's slack-which never ends. But can't let Keith's decline continue. And you can imagine his thrill @ having limits placed on him. (no, didn't go into the "when I was your age," or "this is gonna hurt me more than...")

Picked up 2, yes 2 birthday cakes. One strawberry shortcake, one chocolate. Put a "1" candle on one, a "3" candle on the other. He loved it.

Gave him the cards from by brother and sister in law-dmv bro, not the priest-he's too busy giving speeches about ancient Hebrew for $10,000 a pop to give a shit about his nephew-hope you're watching mom!!!

THEN, the grand prize: guitar hero Aerosmith.

LOVED it-a home run, made all the crap worth it!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

picked the wrong lifetime to quit drinking

BOY do I wish there was something to dull the pain. Wasn't THIS upset when my Mother died.

Yes kiddies, took the bull by the horns and initiated corrective action.

Re: ? you say?

Called Toxichouse, Shebitch FINALLY copped to losing Keith's report card. Surprise, surprise. Now remember, I'd told him: one more 70 in any subject and the computer's history.

OK, what to do, what to do. Called the school, they said they'd mail another. I told 'em mail has a funny way of not reaching it's intended destination, so could I drop by. Graciously, they said I could. 30 mins later my worst suspicions were realized.

Math: final exam 45, final grade: 75
Science: final exam: 67, final grade 76
English: 4th quarter: 56, final grade: 78

Can you FEEL my butt clench????? Teeth grind??????????

What kills me: he's bright, but lacks study habits and anything vaguely resembling structure. BIG surprise there. When I attempted to correct this, Shebitch went off big time: my control issues etc..... what the fuck you expect a kid to do?????????? They don't magically decide to open a book.

We really ARE losing him.

Back to the story. Told him one more shit mark, pc goes. So, what to do. Spoke with him, with Shebitch in the background screaming. Fun fun.

When school starts, he must have all homework complete before the computer goes on/tv goes on. Neither goes on 'til his work is checked. If his work requires the computer, he must call me first.

He's upset. He should be.

Spend all day fixinf people, you'd think/hope that when you got home it'd end. ONLY peace is when one foot gets placed in front of the other, or asleep-when It doesn't awaken the house with It's ragings. Cheapertokeephercheapertokeephercheapertokeephercheapertokeepher.

Gotta back it up with consequences. Problem is: why the fuck does it ALWAYS have to be me???? Really tired of this. REALLY wish I had help.

Elmer Fudd?

saw BJ @ Shea, why? It's Shea's last concert. Don't really give a shit about that obnoxious midget-but, it dawned on me: he's getting chubbier n' more follically challenged: Elmer Fudd!!!
I'll miss the stadium, feel like I grew up there. The Stones, The Clash, The Who, Clapton, too many Mets games to mention, NYRR races....cub scout visits.....wow. Memories Keith will never have.

Keith home from camping, It claimed he had his report card, he didn't. Big surprise. Remember the other day I did a driveby since It was raging? THAT was the day I asked about his report card, i.e. it's been a month since school let out...HELLO??? (The nerve: can you imagine??? I actually had the GALL to think I should see my son's report card. Boy do I need therapy.) Of course, now It puts him on the spot-really functional behavior there. This from the bitch who bogarts my mail-remember the amex bill in her car for 2 months, opened? It can't face It's shipwreck status.

St.Francis this am, per The Plan (all repeat in a monotone: "The Plan will never fail us, only we fail the plan.") Again, humidity increasing, but really good for training. Pea soup air.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

so far so good

11 days and counting. You'd think after too many marathons and too many runs in general that another half'd be a piece of cake. Unfortunately as youze guyz know, no run is a piece of cake. This probably is the fodder that keeps us sharp. This run I like because you get to do a full loop of The Park-no mean feat in and of itself, THEN exitting The Park you get your second wind when you see the peeps gathered to cheer as well as running down the middle of fifth ave. NICE. THEN, you get to run down a closed Times Square!!! What would you pay for THAT??? THEN, really into this, you get a medal!!! Love 'em. 'Bout a month later we have the Manhattan Run-get to relive part of the Nike run. LOVE this shit. Really gives you the feeling that we own the city.

Got my St.Francis on, nice morning, yet again, though you could feel the temps rising n' the humidity as well.

Snowbirds are coming home to roost as well. Actually SPOKE (as opposed to the nod or thumbs up) to one of The Line peeps-black woman/55 ish who walks with a stick/branch. Asked if she'd taken the season off.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

top of the morning to me!!!

Bright, almost crisp-by comparison, morning.

Really wanted to take this am off, but days like these are few and far between. Even the knees agreed, could almost hear them "c'mon, last night was only a 4k.....1/2 marathon only a few days away, log 'em now!!!." Who was I to argue? When I looked up the results, was actually surprised @ the number of people who did last night's race. All things considered, alot-1,300. Considering it was stupid humid AND after work, a tough combination. Def prefer early am running.

Actually got up late, by my standards-4:30. Managed to break only a few traffic laws, got to The Line @ 5:30.

THAT really was jwtdo.

Called to find out when Keith was coming home from camping, called all day-no answer-not on It's cell nor home phone. Finally 'bout 4, It picks up, says It doesn't know when he'll be home, either today or tomorrow. Allow me to translate. The life form that spent 9 months within It is away, and It doesn't know when the life It gave birth to will be home. "Parenting???"

***Add THIS to the psycho file: It asks if I'm inviting my peeps to the party saturday. Still pinching myself wondering if It has ANY clue about ANYTHING. Understand: It told me Keith's party was the 19th no earlier than 3 days ago, and apparently has no concept whatsoever that people...what's that word.....plan????? G give me strength. One minute It's spewing venom, the next asking if I invited my peeps. wow. Then again, this IS the same person who, 2 days before The Marathon, asked if I had any plans for that day. Really sick.

Monday, July 14, 2008

truth IS stranger........

did St.Francis, felt really good after the 10k yesterday and 5k day previous. Good to get back in the groove.

Per usual, G was lookin' out. DOWNPOUR came in 2 minutes after my run was done. Nice.

Then, tonight, State Parks Summer Series, Hempstead Lake 4k. Now you know why I hadda get my St.Francis on. Has a roast beef hero EVER tasted so good?

Now dear reader, you know the clarity of mind that only comes during a run? Today it dawned on me: middle July, no report card DUHHH. Called Shebitch, It stated Keith had it. I asked why? It's answer was useless. Can you imagine getting your child's report card, NOT sharing it with your spouse, then claiming your child possessed it??? Better, It blames his so-so grades on poor study habits. Where the fuck is a 12 year old supposed to get these study habits? Apparently, Keith's crystal ball doesn't work either.

running: easy
life: not so much.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

water water everywhere and nary a drop to drink!!!

re: the whole: "Shebitch's latest lapsed responsibility is food shopping," HOW can you be a waitress and NOT have a full fridge??? Jeez, It's truly useless. But enough about It. I'm having a great day and won't let 90 lbs of pissed off affect it.

Today is Spike's Birthday. He's @ his brotherfromanothermother's, camping. Hopefully he returns today-Shebitch doesn't share these factoids with me-yet WILL hold it against me (i.e. was sick for 4 days, went into the hospital for 2, didn't mention a word, then threatens me with court for neglect-having not mentioned a peep re: her whereabouts. My crystal ball failed me then.)

WAIT! Newsflash, It just popped in, stated he's coming back Tuesday. So much for his birthday. I AM a bit disappointed-can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees his gift-Guitar Hero Aerosmith edition. G help me, I have enabled the video game disease, but this guitar thing he must have.

Again, to hit on a sore point: when he looks upon his childhood what memories will he have? A female parent who never said a good thing about his father in his presence? Who could not express Itself without flying into a blind rage? Who kept the house like a slum? These are the things that trouble me. When he'd rather be @ a friend's house than home-more so than the preadolescent bonding thing-we have a prob, and It's name is Shebitch. More so, in a divorce, unless the female parent is smoking crack in the face of the judge, they ALWAYS get custody.

So, how was the race??? GREAT! How can you beat a 10k, then a swim??? Felt GRRRRREAT!!!
Hooked up w/Tom n' Teri-for once we actually didn't miss each other. Thank G. Useful to get his number, not so useful to wear it for him-his time would suuuuuuck.

REALLY a nice morning for a run-lil' too hot, but a)as a New Yorker b)as a runner, can't be too easy to please. Tom DID make the point of indicating this was Teri's first exposure to a NYRR event-I'm sure she was blown away @ the size. There were about 4,000 people. On L.I. it's a world's record to have that many.

...tables turned, now it's her turn to cry. Because I used to love her...but it's all over now.......

Saturday, July 12, 2008

life's a ____, then you marry one

Did the Angel's Gate 5k, like a mini "Kings Park." Starts uphill, ends uphill, with breaks in the middle. Someone @ the start had the brilliant idea of doing the race vice-versa-would've been far easier, but not as challenging. REALLY a good run-makes up in challenge what it lacks in distance. I AM disappointed more green peeps didn't show. It's a sign of the times. Last year/the year prior, it was pushed, now peeps can't remember-why? They're into their own lil' training worlds. REALLY a shame, the people who hold it have the BEST cause-defenseless mutant animals they care for. You KNOW it isn't put on by runners when there aren't bagels nor bananas in sight. Helen and Rob DID make it, good. Of course Rob placed. Won a raffle but didn't bother collecting it-a psychic reading-the present is tough enough, do I REALLY wanna know more?

...Speaking of the present, Shebitch whines about her expenses, "I buy food...." meanwhile the fridge is empty. So before I split, left the following note "food???" I made the fatal error of going home to shower. It was there, screaming about the electric bill(paid).........THEN It leaves the domicile. Must really suck to be so angry all the time, and take NO responsibility for ANYTHING.

Running: easy
Life: not so much.

Friday, July 11, 2008

I'm sailing awaaaaaay..............

Was this am a G send or what????? Purrrrrrrrfect weather, barely humid, NIIIICE. If it weren't for a big race weekend, would've gone long.

Manana: Angel's Gate.

Sunday: Dash n' Splash.

AND, no rain predicted!!!!! Can't lose!


...you didn't have to squeeze me like you did but you did yes you did, and I thank you............

Thursday, July 10, 2008

today 10 minutes, tomorrow the world!

yesterday, Spike gets told to go to bed @ 3:15. Today 3:25. Does he have a mother or a baby mama??? Shebitch really IS useless. Some just don't internalize how tough it really is, but to walk away would do him further harm-there would be NO limits @ home. Can you imagine if I didn't get up 'til 7??? He'd have been up all night. People just don't get how tough it is to be a single parent in a 2 "parent" domicile.

The GOOD news: got my St.Francis on and then some. Felt really good, REALLY humid, but really good. Not good enough to avoid my problems though. It's really wearing on me. These days, summer, should be the best of Spike's life. Rather, he spends them @ his computer while baby mama farts around. By the time I get home I'm wiped. MY motivation is nil as the world (home wise) really IS on my shoulders. I'd love to be happy, I miss looking forward to days, rather than gird myself for whatever form of psychotic hostility awaits.

In normal homes, kids have structure. In ours, well...you know already. In normal homes, meals are conducted 3x daily, @ a common location. Keith is fed in front of the tv, with a menu such as the other days: garlic knots for lunch and dinner. Hub works, wife cleans/cooks, or works as well and contributes to bills. I pay cable, electric, mortgage. She? What else IS there??? AND tax on HER income, which she doesn't reveal to me. Does It make the bed, no, cinderfella (Keith) is given that task. Does It walk the dog, once weekly, maybe, otherwise he shits all over my yard. Does It shop? When It wants to, without a list, and irregularly. What It DOES: carries on @ all hours, runs my name through the dirt-usually in Keith's presence, goes to the beach-leaving Keith alone, sells Avon, screams @ me. Need I say more? Yet, the "why don't you's," STILL come from some of my peeps. Their concern touches me deeply, but unless you're knee deep in it, you don't get it. And THAT'S good. No one should have to suffer this.

The ONLY thing that makes it worthwhile: rarely, but enough to count, Keith will say/do something that let's me know he's not totally lost, yet.

***Check the bottom of the page, I was able to fix the Riker's pix, also a nice one from Forest Park.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I've got to admit, it's getting better

...a little better, all the time (it can't get no worse!)

Following this morning's drama, G did His voodoo yet again!

Did St.Francis, back on the unit @ 6!!! WOW!!! Time is improving. Best part is, this is NOT the plan. Wanna increase my endurance, not my time, really couldn't be bothered with time. Too much "dog chasing his own tail" there.

Again, n' I'll say this alot, how anyone can get through their day/start their day without a run @ some time during the 24 hour period, I just dunno. Better than colace.

THEN it got better!!! The shrink @ the job, my latest enabler re: "He who dies with the most toys wins" school of thought, a.k.a. the guy who recognized a kindred soul and introduced me to Bromptons, brought in his recumbent bike. WOW. I didn't want to return it. He lives near Chelsea Piers, pays to store it, so you KNOW what I said. Promised to give it a good home, with open visitation. He didn't bite...yet.


.....finding someone you just can't get enough of...................

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

2 ships passing

one goes one way, other goes the other, neither sees. Wow. THAT was funny.

Got my St.Francis on, felt GREAT!!! Why you ask? No, not becuase the knees are ok-thanks G, improvement there. Not because it's 2031 and according to the deathwatch meter Sybil's dead, not that lucky yet. Yes kiddies, this day marked 19 years of wedded ______. Hey, 19 years of anything is notable-for reasons YOU fill in. I'm not touching it-lest grist for lawyers n'est pas???

There's NOTHING, yes, NOTHING like starting the day in this way. You wanna sleep in, until memories of yelling @ 1:30am kick in and you remember: why spend another second in this hell hole??? So you drag your half asleep booty up, check online for new info, and off you go. Do 86th or push n' do St.Francis??? It's hot, stupid humid.....of COURSE challenge.

***re: Parenting etc...Keith, up all night on the computer-JUST went to bed (3:15am). Shebitch sleeping, 10 feet away-not a word.

Monday, July 7, 2008

reconnected!

did 86th, felt awright. Back on the same planet as everyone else.

REALLY enjoying this concept of St.Francis as base, 86th as recovery. Good for the knees, better for the soul.

Now feeling ready to take on the world. Nice to be reconnected.

Tom called, trying to tempt me to do the Robert Moses 5k. Was 'sposed to be a 1m on the beach, but w/beach erosion...they've actually done the 1m in the sand once since I started running. It's almost a bad joke. So, why didn't I go? Too far. Yes kiddies, why use half a tank of gas for a 5k? Today, for the normal, would be an off day after the past couple, so 86th. was jwtdo. THEN, bless him, he calls after the race to tell me I missed a good one? WHO does THAT sound like???

Keith going away for his birthday weekend, camping with his brotherfromanothermother. Good for him!

Good to be back. was a 'lil bleak there.


.....don't feel like satan but I am to them, so I try to forget it anyway I can.............

Sunday, July 6, 2008

whew!!!

ok, MAJOR blowout last night, Shebitch takes Keith to his brotherfromanothermother's, and apparently stays the night there. Good, at least peace here (yet, It'll accuse me of being M.I.A.), whatever. Among other things, I have a problem with death, I'm a liar........this is what you call conditional love. Wonderful to daily be confronted with your every shortcoming, knowing all your defects-real or perceived-are public knowledge. Funny though, spreading this detritus doesn't result in It's being happy.

ok, wake up, quiet in the house. Head to AP. Cloudy skies, humid as HELL. Not waiting, head out@ 6:30. Did St.Francis, no shirt weather, felt ok. Ran into the Renegades, few other usual suspects, appears the hardcore were smart enough to run EARLY. 8:30 just doesn't cut it. Starting to enjoy the longer runs as a base-esp in this gdmnd humidity.

Showered, headed into nyc, there's a flick in limited engagement: The Wackness. Went to AMC 25. GREAT flick. Weird seeing a movie @ 10:15 am on a Sunday, but weird is my life. Jumped back on the train, back to veeeeehicle (NICE "ticket" there, ;) ), off to Massapequa.

Say WHAT? Yes, Massapequa. Not for the Lift n' Run, but for the Run. Sue and Vince asked if I was doing it, I said I was trying to get away from 5k's. Tom asked if I was doing it, ditto. So, of course, hadda be there. God forbid I miss out. Glad I went. Had a great time, the green peeps were there (John n' Mrs.R, Ray, Debbie, Vince, Sue, Tom n' Teri, and Dave), wonderful. Can you really ask for anything more? Individuals gathered to challenge themselves, while getting together for a shared interest. Nice. Thanks guys, REALLY needed it.


.....now of course the dedicated reader may well be wondering how Hulk is? Makes you wonder how the people who begged for a dog have no problem taking off with nary a thought to the care of an innocent animal. As he limps about.......................be glad you don't exist in these walls. Not for the faint of heart. Can you imagine uttering "whew" @ the END of a weekend??? Most people look forward to Sat n' Sun. Not @ Sybil's casa.

As I walked back to the veeeeehicle, Michael "I save on nipple tape by never wearing shirts when I race" Service asked how I "enjoyed" the run (in view of the humidity). Of course I answered with my standard "beats sittin' @ home, gettin' fat." Little do people know the truth is beats sittin' @ home. Hey, we all got baggage.


...someone saved my life tonight......................

Saturday, July 5, 2008

n' why do I care???

(carrying on yesterday's rant)

Why do these people's opinions affect me so? Mr. "nothing disturbs you unless you ALLOW them to..." Well, because we've known these people since we were single-unfortunately, as we've covered in prior rants, Shebitch never made the transition from friends being everything to significant other being everything.

So, did a quick inventory. Shebitch goes out all day, all night. No breakfast nor lunch for It's son, to hang with a bunch of active alcoholics-a.k.a.her friends (you could play "mix n' match the DWI among the group). I associate with people who have done something with their lives, have reached goals few will or can, and can kick his butt when he needs it. Hmmmmm.

Just plain hurts though to have your name dragged down through no fault of your own, especially in front of your child. Thank G he knows wassup.

Oh-It's out again. Leaving It's son alone @ home, no breakfast, no nuttin'.

So, what did I do? What you 'tink??? Did My Line (another great one liner for a substance abuse therapist). And BOY was I glad I did!

Showed up @ the park early, was raining when I left Toxichouse. Sat in the veeeeehicle until the peeps showed, not yet committed to running as I HATE rain-thinking 8 am spin class @ the Y would make a great option. But, alas, G is there. Did My Line! St.Francis was WONDERFUL!!! The peeps did their usual talktalktalk, so I split solo. Felt wonderful, the rain stopped. G was soooo there! Unfortunately, some peeps I like running with were still @ the parkhouse, but, oh well-catch 'em on the rebound. Made the turn, run into Darlene, who caught me on the hill. HOW I kept up with her I'll never know, but it turned into a speed run. Yummmm. Stupid humid and running my balls off. YUMMMMM! LOVE the challenge. JWTDO. THEN (are you sitting down???) actually came back to shmooz with the peeps. They'll never know how I needed it today-but then again, that's what a club is all about.

Mana, lift n' run-for me, the run. No lift.

Friday, July 4, 2008

now THAT was fun!!!

didn't wanna, hadn't preregged, almost isolated n' did The Line, but noooooooooooooooo. Couldn't resist being "where the action is." Hadda do Bellmore. Christ. N' glad I did.

a)Doing St.Francis paid off in droves. a 4m by comparison wasn't bad. Esp the running in stupid heat. This was the first year I didn't have to take a walk break.

b)Wore The Colors. First time I did, and no one else. Vince n' Sue were there, in stealth mode. Wassup wit' 'dat??? Glad I did. Most clubs wore theirs (i.e. LIRRC), n' I got comments from onlookers as I passed: "Nice training there, a good run."

c)After "slashyourwrists'causesharedfriendsthinkyou'reanasshole," night, needed some validation (can you imagine, Shebitch called them to warn them I was coming today?????). This came in the form of only being a minute or so behind thebluepeoplewhoshouldcallaspadeaspadeandjoinaREALclub. Nice.

STILL annoyed I didn't prereg though, how can you beat a $5 fee???

p.s. Shebitch really DID turn what used to be shared friends against me. Came home from the run expecting us all to go to these friends 4th. bbq, I'm talkin' came straight home. So far so good. Next thing you know It, again, turns Satanic. Tells us Keith n' I can go to the bbq in my vehicle. Seperate vehicles??? Wait, it gets better. I ask for the friends phone #, call, ask if my going would cast a pall on the festivities. They answered diplomatically. What does this tell us? Sad. Very sad. I tried. It goes on a rant about how It's going to stop doing whatever It does for "everyone else," what that is I have no clue. Keith woke up @ 11am, did It even make breakfast? Of course not, but prepared a mac salad for It's friends bbq.

So, what did Keith n' I do? It was in the shower, we dressed n' left. Went to see Wall-E-an ok flick, but remember, anything to keep from slashing the wrists. Stopped on the way home, picked up ribs, chicken, 'shmallows, did our own bbq-minus Sybil. THEN the rains came down, good on 'em. Hope they got soaked. Backstory: It asked Keith what he wanted to do, he answered be with me. Sounds like a custody argument n'est pas? Smart kid. But it really hurts, I'm talkin' punch to the gut hurts. Again, for the record:

a)one person goes into the box when you stop breathing.
b)long as G knows wassup, it's ok.

doesn't diminish the pain, but oh well. Thank G I ran well. One foot in front of the other.

N' I thought we were all going out as a "family," can't say I'm not an optimist (we did It's Deathwatch-It's scheduled to go in 2031, me in 2044. G is good).

Thursday, July 3, 2008

could'a called that one

It and Keith going to a 4th bbq manana, of course I'm not invited-I'm satan to those "friends."
Good parenting-portray me as.....whatever. Expose the child to his Father's being dragged through the mud. I get points for this somewhere. Bitch.

I should've known better.

Got my St.Francis on, sortof. How, HOW can one human a)talk so much b)have so many questions c)have such an agenda in their heads, and NOT have their heads blow up. Yes folks, I'm talkin' about David the Superjew. Ran into him on The Line and couldn't shake him. Jeez. Sorry, not a Messiah reference there, just exasperation. Never ever knew anyone with so much on their poor minds.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

so much for THAT idea

ducked outta the job to take the mower for resuscitation ($120, ouch), poked my head in Toxichouse-11am, Spike still sleeping, Shebitch @ the beach. Now readers, you will recall my nausea re: Keith's childhood memories of.......right, nothing, being left alone while Shebitch selfishly tries to exacerbate her carcinoma-I hope. It finally comes home after leaving him alone all day, and gets mad @ him for not wanting to eat @ 6pm. He asks It where It's going-It does a driveby, It answers "to meet a friend." Hmmmmm. Lets keep some secrets.

Got my St.Francis on, G is good.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

baby steps

gotta take progress where you can get it.

Had the blowout w/Keith re: responsibility, walking the dog he begged for etc....well...2 or so days later, he actually walked the beast without prompting. I'll take it.

Had our bored meeting, it wasn't all that painful. Ray, Lynn, Gillian, and David the SuperJew showed up, we wrapped by 8 pm. Nice. Actually had some good discussion, a.k.a. it wasn't a waste of time. Thanks troops.

Did 86th + in the am really set the tone for the day. Funny how a positive morning.........