yesterday, Spike gets told to go to bed @ 3:15. Today 3:25. Does he have a mother or a baby mama??? Shebitch really IS useless. Some just don't internalize how tough it really is, but to walk away would do him further harm-there would be NO limits @ home. Can you imagine if I didn't get up 'til 7??? He'd have been up all night. People just don't get how tough it is to be a single parent in a 2 "parent" domicile.
The GOOD news: got my St.Francis on and then some. Felt really good, REALLY humid, but really good. Not good enough to avoid my problems though. It's really wearing on me. These days, summer, should be the best of Spike's life. Rather, he spends them @ his computer while baby mama farts around. By the time I get home I'm wiped. MY motivation is nil as the world (home wise) really IS on my shoulders. I'd love to be happy, I miss looking forward to days, rather than gird myself for whatever form of psychotic hostility awaits.
In normal homes, kids have structure. In ours, well...you know already. In normal homes, meals are conducted 3x daily, @ a common location. Keith is fed in front of the tv, with a menu such as the other days: garlic knots for lunch and dinner. Hub works, wife cleans/cooks, or works as well and contributes to bills. I pay cable, electric, mortgage. She? What else IS there??? AND tax on HER income, which she doesn't reveal to me. Does It make the bed, no, cinderfella (Keith) is given that task. Does It walk the dog, once weekly, maybe, otherwise he shits all over my yard. Does It shop? When It wants to, without a list, and irregularly. What It DOES: carries on @ all hours, runs my name through the dirt-usually in Keith's presence, goes to the beach-leaving Keith alone, sells Avon, screams @ me. Need I say more? Yet, the "why don't you's," STILL come from some of my peeps. Their concern touches me deeply, but unless you're knee deep in it, you don't get it. And THAT'S good. No one should have to suffer this.
The ONLY thing that makes it worthwhile: rarely, but enough to count, Keith will say/do something that let's me know he's not totally lost, yet.
***Check the bottom of the page, I was able to fix the Riker's pix, also a nice one from Forest Park.
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