After the debacle of yesterday, what have we learned? More Yin/Yang. Can take the Toxichouse crap-that's par for the course, but there has to be an ebb and flow-work good/home shit, or home good and work shit. More often than not, it's work good. But hey...the wisdom to know the difference....
Boss FINALLY handed me my eval, wrote his usual negative bullshit. I got satisfactories down the line, but he HADDA write negative shit (I'm too fast, too abrupt...yeah, so? Point is??? Like this is news????) Asshole. Fact: all that matters is the satisfactories, but it hurts to have lesser swine get props. Fuck 'em. Sign it, move on. Don't give the shmuck that much power.
Add to this, he was being a hardon re: the memorial day weekend Friday, a.k.a. travel day for the marathon. Now, fact: I request barely any time, ever. He was being a dick because he'll be off the same 4 day weekend. Now, how often has he had days off and still came in???? Other subordinates will be on site, let them earnj their checks for a change.
So, he finally caved and gave me the fucking Friday. Unfuckingbelievable. Friggin' nudge. (AND, he's on the "wellness committee.")
So, after the shit I walked into @ home yesterday, ultimately did a driveby, saw the disaster, and split for a few hours. This is getting tiresome, but gotta weigh it against the dejection of having your hard work amount to shit-not dissimilar from the work eval: break my balls there/give blood, to have an aging shithead crap on me. And THERE'S the seeds of discontent, no yin/yang, but yin/yin. Ouch.
St.Francis to the rescue-breathing deeply as I passed-with any luck I'll get the flu, but even THAT was a prob. Woke up this am, pouring rain. SHIT. Still, dress as if, remembering the hardest part of any run is getting out the front door. Got to the job, light mist. Nice. Headed to the park, rain stopped. Way to go G. REALLY wanted to take today off, felt surreally down after yesterday, but hey, put one foot in front of the other-rain be damned-and you KNOW I hate rain. Yes, the pain was that great.
On the way TO St.Francis, got j.w.t.d.o. One of the usual predawn suspects asked if I was doing Sunday, and if so, which. Nice. @ that moment I was regrounded. THIS is what really matters-challenging yourself, your own expectations of yourself, understanding yourself. Ultimately, if you expect ANYTHING of ANYONE you WILL be disappointed. N' BOY do I know that!
This eve, did the core class. Re-upped for the next month as well. Hurt, but hurt good :) .
I'm back, miss me?
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