done!

another week for the books. I'm off tomorrow-sign up for the nyc half-or try to-online starts @ noon.

Went to the LI Marathon expo. What a clusterfuck. You needed your #, you weren't told to bring the confirmation e mail, the long @ the problem desk was 30 mins. Surreally fucked. Fran Kraus and I waited, and waited, and waited. Typical Long Island. In years past, the names were on a board when you entered, or they handed you a circular with the names printed. Unbelievable.

But...wait for the miracle. Get squared away, Mike Polansky calls me over-the man IS a pro. Has a deal: join GLIRC and he'll join AP. Done, handed him the bucks then and there. Nice. Bless him. Saw Dominic too.

St.Francis this am, manana off. REALLY off, no ellipin, no nothin'. Reg for the NYC half-try to at least, then US Open training in the evening.

What a difference a day makes!!!

After the debacle of yesterday, what have we learned? More Yin/Yang. Can take the Toxichouse crap-that's par for the course, but there has to be an ebb and flow-work good/home shit, or home good and work shit. More often than not, it's work good. But hey...the wisdom to know the difference....

Boss FINALLY handed me my eval, wrote his usual negative bullshit. I got satisfactories down the line, but he HADDA write negative shit (I'm too fast, too abrupt...yeah, so? Point is??? Like this is news????) Asshole. Fact: all that matters is the satisfactories, but it hurts to have lesser swine get props. Fuck 'em. Sign it, move on. Don't give the shmuck that much power.

Add to this, he was being a hardon re: the memorial day weekend Friday, a.k.a. travel day for the marathon. Now, fact: I request barely any time, ever. He was being a dick because he'll be off the same 4 day weekend. Now, how often has he had days off and still came in???? Other subordinates will be on site, let them earnj their checks for a change.

So, he finally caved and gave me the fucking Friday. Unfuckingbelievable. Friggin' nudge. (AND, he's on the "wellness committee.")

So, after the shit I walked into @ home yesterday, ultimately did a driveby, saw the disaster, and split for a few hours. This is getting tiresome, but gotta weigh it against the dejection of having your hard work amount to shit-not dissimilar from the work eval: break my balls there/give blood, to have an aging shithead crap on me. And THERE'S the seeds of discontent, no yin/yang, but yin/yin. Ouch.

St.Francis to the rescue-breathing deeply as I passed-with any luck I'll get the flu, but even THAT was a prob. Woke up this am, pouring rain. SHIT. Still, dress as if, remembering the hardest part of any run is getting out the front door. Got to the job, light mist. Nice. Headed to the park, rain stopped. Way to go G. REALLY wanted to take today off, felt surreally down after yesterday, but hey, put one foot in front of the other-rain be damned-and you KNOW I hate rain. Yes, the pain was that great.

On the way TO St.Francis, got j.w.t.d.o. One of the usual predawn suspects asked if I was doing Sunday, and if so, which. Nice. @ that moment I was regrounded. THIS is what really matters-challenging yourself, your own expectations of yourself, understanding yourself. Ultimately, if you expect ANYTHING of ANYONE you WILL be disappointed. N' BOY do I know that!

This eve, did the core class. Re-upped for the next month as well. Hurt, but hurt good :) .

I'm back, miss me?

pray, pray alot

isn't it nice to come home to a clean house, where you feel some return on your investment? I've read about it, even have memories of it from my youth.

Came home after a particularly difficult day, boss being an asshole etc.....to find (@ 6 pm mind you) It's clothes EVERYWHERE-as in covering EVERY SQUARE INCH. Can you imagine living this way? At the very least, have some semblance of order so they that pay the mortgage have some sense of where their efforts go. Not I. Come home to a complete and utter pigsty. Yes, it sucks. It sucks bad.

St.Francis this am, the only thing I can count on. My feet.

Say a prayer, this sucks.

that's better

amazing what a difference a day makes, or more to the point, the TIME of day.

Yesterday, 3 walk breaks during the 5m challenge. This am, shirtless, shorts, 30 degs cooler. Did fine, ran longer. Temp is half the battle it seems.

Still riffin' on yesterday. Positively thrilled. I missed 3 peeps, but other than that, really perfection. One side bar: where the fuck was David the Superjew? The run was on a Sunday, NOT passover, no excuses.

REALLY glad Jaime won. Everything was as it should have been. Pix to come in a few days.

SOOO glad my Long Island peeps showed-most of them-gotta break Rick/Anita/Jose and Paul's collective balls. Having Joe from CP, Mike from GLIRC, Curtis from NYPD and Carmen from CP really brought the tribes together. The way it SHOULD be. Yep, that's right. And none of this bullshit about "other things to do," we all have lives, commit damn it. Show solidarity. Wimps.

wait for the miracle

ok, the big day was upon us. BLAZING heat, but......Tried waking up whatshisname, to no avail. Bitterly disappointed, but fuck it, I'm used to being alone. (AND...the killer part: when I got home, It's in the backyard on the phone, he's inside. As in: never left the house/never even got outside. It truly IS a useless bitch. Beautiful day and doesn't push him.).

went to the job, got the laptop etc...to show the powerpoint of last year's race, load up the gear, head to the race site.

Already tired, but press on.

Did the run. DAMN it was hot, VERY hot. 3 walk breaks-do St.Francis daily, but this 5m killed me. Then again, it WAS the day after a race AND stupid hot.

The good news: near record numbers, 230 +. The bad news: the More run was cancelled due to the heat. Wimps. We could'a drawn over 300 if they'd put out enough notice. I AM pissed. BUT, al the usual suspects/peeps were there, made me feel surrounded by The Family. Nice. Joe, Curtis, Sal, Terry, Mike, Big Bird etc...really made my day, joining my green peeps.

Went back to the job, switched vehicles, the bastards washed my truck. Bless them. Wait for the miracle-felt down in the dumps about whatshisname not being with me, but G took care of me. Nice. A totally random act of kindness perpetrated by the patients. Bless them. No wonder I feel more comfortable among them than others.

College Point showed, the Renegades, GLIRC, LIRRC. Nice. Hellgate? Figures. So much for Queens hangin' together. Clubs get EXACTLY what they deserve. Thank G we do it for the sake of doing it. We never lost sight of our goal.

Still...wish Spike's been there.

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

ok, WAS psyched to go to the first annual Run for the Wild @ the Bronx Zoo with whatshisname. Plan was: wake him up, split. Ok, that WAS the plan.

Tried waking him up, THAT didn't work. It was kind enough to tell me "he's sleeping," no shit. That's generally the condition of people being awoken. Really helpful isn't It? Needless to say, he didn't go. Oh well.

Off I went. What a place!!! Def not the Bronx Zoo of my youth. The place is pristine. The peeps there really work @ keeping the place primo. And, lots of swag. Unfortunately, they ran outta shirts for day of race peeps. A delightful problem actually, though for $35 day of race cost, they'd better do SOMETHING to provide R.O.I.

The run itself, challenging, VERY challenging, even for a 5k. Who'd a thunk hills?
Time: 25:40. Nice.

Without Keith, no point in hangin' @ the zoo, so back to AP to reconnect. Ahhhh, that made me feel way better. j.w.t.d.o.

Really hurt he didn't come, ESPECIALLY hurt It proved useless, you'd think It'd push him out the door.

This is what I live with. Thank G for running.

***and guess who was there: my nemesis: Fred. Amazing.

*****checked the qfrrc/team brickwell calendar, there's NOTHING for tomorrow. The last entry WAS the 4-4 Run for Aspire. Nice. Really nice. Think I'll get root canal 6-14.

memories, like the corners of my mind.........

(good thing you couldn't HEAR that)

Went to a big conference with The Gov esta manana. He was signing the law repealing the Rockefeller Drug Laws. REALLY took me back to my roots, I should've NEVER left Queens. The peeps from my grade school were there, the Principal-when I was there he was entry level, is now 58. Imagine, 9 years older than me when I was a student. Something wrong there. He, Assemblyman Jeffrion (Jeff) Aubry-the main guy behind this legislation-also a classmate of mine-also the Gov's cousin. Wow. Of course we spoke, wow, just fucking wow. My blood truly is blue and orange. You should've SEEN all the politicos, pure bullshit, but they showed up due to my man Jeff. Even Charlie Rangel. God I love Queens.

St.Francis esta manana.

Are you sitting? Good. Asked Spike if he wanted to come with manana, he said Yes!!!!! Prob gonna do the Bronx Zoo run. That'll be a hoot, esp w/Spike.

the end is in sight

(gotta be careful saying that these days)

Almost Friday, we're ok for now.

STILL can't get over UBS. WOW. Imagine you work hard for so many years and then without warning BOOM! Rug pulled out from under. Sucks. Gotta live each day to the fullest. Manana may never come. Wow.

St.Francis this am. BEAUTIFUL morning.

Weekend s'posed to be HOT. Was gonna do the lawn today, but no. Wait 'til Sun after The Only Race That Matters. Use the grass mowing as a cool down.

There's 2 other races the same day, fuck 'em. We're it.

wow

for ONCE I'm glad to be me (well, more than once but you get the picture) Why? UBS is laying off staff, wow. Main peep is unemployed. Wow. BIG wow. This economic shit is real. I'm intimately aware of how tough the times are-the closing of our sister facility still stings, but you always think the grass is greener-it isn't.

St.Francis esta manana, brisk but not cold. Shorts, long sleeved tee. Reports of the Boston peeps inspired me. Really good news there.

Core training this eve. Tough, REALLY tough, but good. Work those abs!!!

Yin/Yang eh wot.

we're baaaaaack!!!

It yelling @ Keith re: the usual, he wants a game, It is claiming poverty. Hope Aruba was nice. of course, we get the "ask your father" bullshit. So nice to be appreciated. Never mind payins It's taxes. We won't go there. We won't discuss It buying countless games for Keith, so of course when he naturally asks for another.....

St.Francis this am, niiice running weather, a spritz.

Can't believe Dave isn't happy with his Boston time. The man is a wonder.

squeezed that one in!

didn't think I'd be on The Line this am, but no worries. Got my St.Francis on with time to spare. The rains didn't come down 'til mid morning, just as the Boston peeps hit the road!

Dave did his usual amazing self, Vince did very well. Nice. Made me proud!

optimism pays

ok, heard forecast for esta manana: cold/rainy. We'll see. Prepped the light Asics for today's 4m.

Woke up, dry. Still, leave as if...

Perfect parking spot, take pre race sleep (if you get there as early as I do, it's WAY beyond nap). Wake up, check the start, nap.

So far so good, check the health fair, snag a free t shirt-G help us all-can't resist a freebie! Head to the start.

NO PROBLEM!!! Made it through with no big whoop! Biggest prob was too many fucking people. This wasn't a capped race as it was for charity, so too many goddamned people in the wrong fucking corrals (sensing some hostility here???). But, it's all good. The lack of distance (it WAS after all only a 4m), was evened out by the challenge level of the course-this IS Central Park after all.

How'd I do? I didn't totally suck, still 50% ish. One of 5 Striders, me in the middle (don't go there).

And STILL no rain.

DO miss my peeps. Glad it didn't rain on refreshment day. Also miss The Line. 4m in CP=6.5 on The Line, just as yesterday's 5k course =6.5 on The Line. So my legs THINK they did St.Francis, but my head knows otherwise.

***went to see The Audition...exactly...a film no one has heard of, but an AMAZING work. Documentary re: tryouts for the Met. I could give less than a shit about opera, but this is way beyond that. Delves to the heart of human emotion, our hopes and dreams. True to life, one of the winners dies a year later after a long fight with cancer. Really something.

wow!!!

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!! (yes, I know, hate caps lock, but hadda make the point). Perfect for a race!!!!!

Did the NYIT run, Sara n' Bill usually do it, it's right down rt 106/107, it's the ONLY one I seemingly haven't done, whatthefuck-do it. So I did. True to form, you're never really alone, Rob was there and Lorraine as well. Go AP!!!!! All of us in stealth mode-none wearing colors.

Did well. The course IS a bitch, hilly, with one mother hill @ the start. Sort'a like The Line compacted into a 5k. Again, GREAT training @ AP.

Small turnout, for such a cool race. BUT, there WERE 2 other races today, as well as that race on Monday.

How'd I do? Not that imp't. Sub 9.

chalk up another one!!!

another week under the belt, ending on a high note.

Ran 86th ave for the first time in ages, a run w/Pret as a Boston sendoff. Warmed the heart. Nice to know peeps is always there, not as close as you want, but you know they're there.

Manana, a 5k I actually haven't ever run-yes there ARE one or two. Sunday, the NYRR Thomas Labrecque 4m.

Manana night It returns. Damn.

pickin' up steam here!!!

glad I kept to it during winter. When spring is here, it feels delicious!!!

This am, St.Francis, shorts, sweatshirt, no gloves. It's starting kiddies. This day temps are currently 64 degs. NICE!!!!!

Actually LOOK FORWARD to coming home. How odd is that. It should leave more often. Note: didn't say "take a vacation," rather "leave." How cool is it to come home and chill? Love this!!!

mirror mirror on the wall

hadda play dress up today. BIG to do with the Comish and the Gov.

There was a new facility for Vets opening, the biggies were scheded to be there, so on with playing dress-up. What a load of shit. People of course commenting on the suits, my reaction: I know I'm good, don't need a suit as a prop. Hate that fake shit. But, hadda do it. The Gov IS a pisser, really genuinely funny guy, self-effacing etc...I make it a point to NOT dress this way, few people get it: the patients aren't reason enough to present your best self? Some big wig is more deserving???I don't think so. Naked emperors.

Rain esta manana, stopped when the day started, damn!!!!! Got my workout in though, ellip in the am, core training in the pm. Whew!!!

THAT'S how it's done!!!

After the shipwreck of Easter, it's finally sunk in: it's SO nice to come home and NOT be screamed at/awoken @ an ungodly hour/torn a new one in the presence of your son/blamed for all the ills of the world. THIS is how the other half lives: work all day, come home, eat, chill, sleep. Ahhhhhhh, nice. Gotta enjoy it while I can.

St.Francis this am, nice easy run, STILL feel times improving. It's really refreshing to run, not for the sake of running AWAY, but TOWARD-as in not away from Shebitch but toward my center. Thanks G.

.....and nothing else matters..............

one 'roid down, one to go

got the taxes done, now waiting for the other shoe to drop-the boss screwing me with his yearly fucking. Why he takes his shit out on his most highly functioning person I dunno. Was ALMOST tempted to get really passive-aggressive about it, but if I gave any less there the patients would suffer. N' it IS all about them. Needs to take the lemon outta his mouth. Last year: "due to things being tough, we're not exchanging Christmas cards," (after boasting of his newly acquired plasma tv). This year "due to things being tough, we're not exhanging Christmas gifts," (after saying how his daughter's studying in Spain, his family going for 2 weeks to vacation with her). I'm tellin' ya, he's a good boss, but an uber nudge.

With this in mind, St.Francis this am, COLD, sweats, hooded sweatshirt, gloves. What the fuck happened to spring?????

No mail, either It blocked it for a week or the addicts across the street are holding it for It. Good. Less bother. No, you CAN'T write stuff this good.

THIS is what I get after 3 daus?????

(things Jesus might have thought)

OK, so it's Easter. Another day. Not getting nuts about it or I'll slash my wrists, much rather not do that. They're gone, left on time. Can't go to my bro's as we normally do as he supposedly gave It $$$ for a divorce, so I'm stuck. WAS hurt that there wasn't even any of that shitty Easter candy on the table this am, that sucked. Remember how hard mom tried to make this a special day for us, only to have it all come down to this. Nice, really nice. Good to know I'm appreciated. So.....

Did St.Francis, got re-grounded, saw the peeps. Nice. Ran with Pret, nicER. Then, decisions decisions. Go to the car show, take in a flick??? Neither, came home, did the lawn. First cut after winter. YES, my back hurts, but did my ab workout anyway. With the house to myself it dawned on me "shmuck, what the fuck are you running from?"

Go Jesus, hope you're not disappointed.

nine is fine

did the Scotland Run 10k esta manana. THIS makes me q for The Big One-this and one volunteer race, but that shouldn't be too much of a prob. Only bone I have to pick is I hate volunteering when I could run the race, but that's the spirit of giving n'est pas?

10k in CP = one loop round the park. Challenging, but not a total ball breaker. What MADE it a pain in the nutsack was the friggin' rain!!!!! Damn it G !!!!! But my buddy Mr.G was there-bless him, and Tom n' I hooked up prior to the starting gun. Thank G for the West Side Y. Chillaxed there pre race and post race. Lifesavers!!!!
Got a text from Pret asking where I was. Odd.

STILL raining as I type. Good, as it kills any thought of doing the lawn. Yes, kiddies, it's THAT time of year-the first cut post winter.

Tomorrow: Easter. Sucks. Here's where things stand:

1)People who are self serving/toot their own horns/think the world revolves around them get great evals. A go to guy who gets everything done, seeking no notation thereof, gets shit.
2)Bipolar/Shebitch preps to go away for a week, spedning thousands, while sucker stays home and pays taxes on It's ill gotten income.
3)Bipolar/Shebitch religion teacher chooses to do so on Easter Sunday no less. Go Jesus!

Thank G for running. My peeps know wassup. Most of them. Still disappointed Pret didn't know what race was on today, there IS a world outside of the Queens Village area.

here we go

STILL waiting for the boss to hit me with the eval...like waiting for a cyst to erupt. The killer part, when I mention the shit he wrote to coworkers-without mentioning who it's about, they look quizzically-as in "how can he write this crap?" Really hurts.

And Sunday, Easter, they leave for vacation. Get it right kiddies, Monday I go to get our taxes done, for which I'll have to pay over $1,300 for money IT receives, and they leave for vacation-purposefully excluding me. Go Jesus.

Thank God for the 10k manana. Gave Andie her number n' bib, went in yesterday to pick up the stuff. Gonna rain like a motherfucker. So what. THAT should be the least of my probs.

This sucks.

yin/yang

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times/good news-bad news...


It's THAT time of year again, yes, the boss turns into a dick. Again. In other words, time for my eval. What exactly crawled up his ass and died, I have no clue. You'd think he'd reward hard work, but no. This year's eval's topic is "moves too fast..." never saw me run did he? Also, "staff report..." pain in the ass, since when do you listen to the grousing of malcontents??? Fuck 'em. I know I do the right thing, and that's all that matters. What hurts is seeing people who toot their own horns getting props, but it's ok. I know and you know.

St.Francis, shorts, sweatshirt, gloves. Manana, upper 40's in the am, rain in the pm. Probably take manana off, but who knows. They leave Easter early, so I'm REALLY down. Sucks. Religion teacher splitting the so called family on Easter of all days. Go Jesus.

like the old days

St.Francis in the am, Y in the pm. Nice.

COLD this am, as in hooded sweatshirt n' long sweats n' gloves. Brrrrrrr. But, got them there miles!!!

Then, signed up for a core training class at the Y. 30 mins, kind'a like 5 minute abs, but with an added 25 mins. Great class. Prob is, considering the length of the class, you were just getting warmed up when it ended. Felt good. See how I feel manana.

Grab an atheist!!!!!

ok, Shebitch gets $8,000+ from Social Sec for disability (while working 5 days weekly, but don't lets go there), of course, no $$$ withheld, so, who gets to pay $1,300+ in taxes? Right, so, delay income taxes as long as possible. (and It can-with a clear conscience, go to Aruba, while I pay taxes on It's cheated income, better be a hell!!!). Ok, with me so far?

Remember when I didn't pay the mortgage? Then, hadda borrow against my retirement to make up the unpaid months? Guess what's paid up? Right, THE LOAN. Suddenly I have hundreds more in my paycheck!!! NICE. Way to go God!!!!!!! So, there's plenty of bucks to pay for Shebitch's fraud, and then, a vacation for me. Fuck 'em all!!!!!!!

God, I'm glad to be back. Really down for about 2 weeks. Been doing the right thing and STILL fucked. But no, right wins out. Sucks I gotta pay for It's fraud, but it's cheaper than a funeral or alimony.

St.Francis this am, again, beat the rain! Again, thanks G.

pulled it out!

stupid rain today, BUT it didn't start 'til after sunrise. YAYYY!!!! Got my St.Francis on, felt good. T-shirt and shorts. Prob'ly could'a used gloves, but would'a taken 'em off. Felt good.

Signed up for The Mauler. Nice. Be the first race back after LI. Tom n' Rob are in also. A race with BIG balls.

kudos

nice weekend. Today, temps amazing. Am purrrrfect for running, pm, purrrrrfect for golfing.

Did ok @ the 4m run. Prob was: it WAS only a 4m. So, drove back to AP, did 4m there as well. Ran the day's total to 8. 1.5 longer than usual, but hey, with a stomach full o' powergel, I was primed.

Wish I went to DC for the Cherry Blossom, but it was sold out n' being a bandit ain't for me.

steady there!!!

knocked out the 10k esta manana, didn't TOTALLY suck, but nothing amazing. DID break 9 mins, nice. Didn't really intend to, just wanted to run strong. Results talk, bullshit walks. Did the 1st 5k and 2nd 5k within one second of each other. Consistent splits. Nice.

Tmrw, the 4m in Central Park. Should be a good run. With the hills, compares well to my daily thang.

***Nice to see the LI peeps, dropped off a s___load of race apps, threatened the peeps with bodily injury if they don't show for what I now feel is MY race. Yes, I take it personally. Nice part is, many in the club feel the same. Prob is, there are 2 other races that day, our being the longer of the 2, and the one with balls. We'll see.

Luck to the peeps in DC for the Cherry Blossom.

***STILL can't believe it's been 24 years. MAN!!! N' I could've sworn it was only 19. THIS is imp't, VERY imp't, confirms my notion that those of us who in fact ARE hot shit have no need to toot their own horns. Like I said above, results speak for themselves.

it was 24 years ago today

Sgt.Pepper.....no, not that.

4-3-85 had my last drink, entered the wonderful world of no alcohol or drugs. 24 years. Wow. Since then a few lifetimes have passed. Amazing. Let's leave it @ that. Keep it simple.

done!

time to break the streak, take tomorrow off. Why? Did St.Francis again this am, more than a week of 6.5. This weekend 2 biggies: the 10k Saturday, and 4m NYRR run Sunday. Be nice to have knees left for them.

REALLY good run this am-sweatshirt, shorts. Cool, not cold. Misty. Perfect.

Good meeting tonight, HATE them, but good nontheless. Great speaker, lots of members showed. We actually got something outta this one. Props to all.

my thursday

yeah, I know, it's Wednesday, but manana I'm off @ 12, off Fri. So, today's my thursday.

Doing the 10k Sat, I'm almost sorry I signed up, there's a 5k in Flushing Meadows-my spiritual home, but alas, gotta go for the longer run. I'll be @ the World's Fair/oops, meant Flushing Meadows, in spirit.

Another St.Francis morning. Yummmmmm. Feeling centered n' @ home. Funny, when I get to do this run, my world makes sense.

Manana bored meeting, then membership. Yecccccch. @ least my peeps'll be there, make an INCREDIBLY inconvenient situation fun.