Day 1257

Time to pay the piper.

Ok, yesterday was going on ok. Got used to the dysfunction, that which we cannot change we accept..........back into FREEZING Toxichouse, chillaxing/freezing. Sybil comes in briefly, then heads back out (gotta make that all important AA meeting).

Comes back little over an hour later, FREAKING out. Stoney got busted!!!!!!! Knew it, called it didn't I?????? What had I said?  "I can't WAIT until you get busted, it WILL happen."

So, NOW It sees the results of laissez faire parenting. We actually had a teacheable moment. I spoke to It about portraying me as Satan, how this enabled his splitting. I spoke of the good cop/bad cop thing, however in Its case it was a matter of washing Its hands of any parental responsibility. It tried (through tears) blaming The Cancer, it wasn't allowed any slack. I immediately indicated this was Its typical tact. Stop blaming the disease for a preexisting dysfunction: continuing Its familial cycle. I explained how Its grandmother was a depressed suicidal addict, mom was a depressed suicidal addict, so It was a latchkey kid. Any time I tried putting boundaries down I was painted as Satan, so, inevitably, we have The Delinquent as a result. No shit Sherlock.

I spoke of how I, on the oher hand, had an amazing rolemodel. My mother was a single parent, paid the mortgage, raised 3 sons, AND took care of her parents. So, Sybil, stop blaming cancer and be responsible!!!!!

Further, I spoke of how the shit REALLY hit 2 years ago, and this I detached. Remember when everyone got Ipods and I got dollar store cookies????????????? I indicated how this is internalized by Stoney, and is translated into: "fuck dad." Thus, split parents. Exacerbating it, THIS Christmas. I got not even a card. I explained how this is seen through his eyes: dad is a bank to be used when needed, otherwise, no respect.

So, we hung out and waited. He was released 4 hours later with an appearance ticket. I had spoken with Sybil about his consequences: he should be grounded and/or his phone taken away. HE was actually ready to go out and hang (THIS @ 1:15am????????). He really had no clue as to the inapprpriateness of his behavior. Further, he was giving Sybil lip!!!!! No no no, @ that point I intervened. No mas on THAT crap.

But wait, it got better!!!!

This am, I get up, who leaves a note on the counter asking for $10 to hang with his peeps. Really, REALLY??????????

Wants a dog, never walks him. Asks the neighbor to repair the fence so the dog HE wanted isn't walked, but thrown into the backyard to shit-knowing the shit is picked up by ME. Magically has possession of an illegal substance, purchased with WHOSE money?????? Ask yourself, how this was funded???????????? REALLY???? THEN, has the bals to say he's gonna continue down that path. Not in my house you don't. This is war n' I ain't losing.

And yes, I spoke to Sybil about Its further enabling behavior: remember when he vandalized my property, and It backed HIM????? Now we pay the piper.

...AND yes, I reinforced Its shirking responsibility: i.e. "when I was in the hospital......." I reminded It that when It was in the hospital I maintained a full time job, led 26 patients, 22 staff, reviewed Stoney's homework, met him @ the door with a snack, we actually used the dining room table to eat, that the house was in fact a house, our debts had been managed, and the place was in order. Since then, It amassed amazing debt due to Its inability to put the breaks on profligate spending, Toxichouse is a shipwreck, Stoney's now officially a juvenile delinquent, and I daily pray for Its death.

Joy joy.

But WAIT, it gets EVEN better!!!!!

Hit the gym to continue my daily Spin roll, instructor didn't show. This one's truly a mess, but I was optimistic. Sure enough, a no show. When I really needed it, nothing. Yet, I guarantee when this one has its class monday, will actually wonder where I was??????????? Think I'm actually EVER setting foot in that one's class???????

Amazing. Really amazing.

I knew it would happen, it really is inevitable.