day 102

(funny how your mood suffers when you DON'T run)

This HAS been a shit year. Gots'ta get better.

The ONE thing I most look forward to sucked, Shebitch is MIA-dunno what hospital (don't wanna) don't know if It'll live or die, I became officially a single parent, this goes on...

And it wouldn't matter worth a shit if I could run. DAYUM!!!

Last night was supposed to go to Core Training, but with tonight's bored/membership meeting, couldn't leave Stoney unattended for 2 consecutive evenings. I had told him if he went anywhere after school to give me a call. I'm home, dinner waiting, he's mia. I went BALLISTIC. For THIS I missed the ONE fucking thing I do for me??????? And yes, I let him know it. He's not only on the shit list, he IS the shit list. I explained that what had been asked of him was minimal, that his responsibilities @ home are likewise minimal, so he was in deep shit. I explained I'm responsible for him, that I must know where he is-especially in light of his herbal tendencies.

After all this was explained, you KNOW his response "whatever." Wrong answer. I went NUTS. Not explosive, but in a Clint Eastwood way. He's on deep freeze.

Fuck me. One fucking peaceful moment. Instead, every moment I spend away from him, I worry (try doing a marathon with THAT on your mind "I should be home, I should be home...")