p.s.

So, if I'm away I "come and go as I please" (like Bitch doesn't???)

If I attempt to spend any time there I'm threatened with legal action (go ahead, I DO have rights).

Break into the locked garage. Which was locked ONLY because it was the ONLY safe place for me to keep anything-since It made a habit of fucking with my things. Now, I don't even have that. Fuck it, everything can be replaced. Except mental health, Bitch.

Enjoy your debts, hope the garage made you happy.

How was raiding the piggy banks? Pathetic.

Day 2176

TOTAL Bitch!

Had an epic day. Did the 10k, hung with the peeps in Manhattan, hit a meeting. So far so good.

Entered Toxichouse, first quiet-then.....all hell broke loose!

(Bitch broke into the garage, nice. Enjoy. Everything can be replaced-I have no debt, Bitch).

It's FREAKING over bills. No shit???? STOP SPENDING.

It, literally, gave me no peace. First, railing against my "coming and going as I please." Like It doesn't??????? This, while screaming that I have no right to spend any time there??? (yet enjoys the cable for which I pay???). Basically, mental Bitch on meth. (funny, It isn't taking the meds It used to).

Then, alleging I refinanced for personal gain. Moron signed off on the documents, conveniently forgetting it was done to take advantage of lower interest rates-during the period in which It ceased contributing to bills.

THEN, screaming that I didn't give Stoney money. Forget the earnings he smokes daily. Forget that if he didn't, he could single handedly pay for his education. No, blame me. Typical of a moron who has-now-a white trash backyard. Piece of shit car in the driveway, because It's afraid of getting ticketed/booted-again. Another piece of shit in the driveway, again, neither parked in the street because of ticketing/booting. (ummmm, PAY your tickets???? DON'T get tickets??? Fucking moron. Funny, who's to blame for THEM???? Couldn't find a way to blame ME for tickets????). Let's conveniently forget that I pay EVERY household bill. As I asked the mental case repeatedly, "tell me when to cancel cable, and I'll gladly give you the money." Moron.

Golf this am, then the run this evening. Retirement is good!!!

(imagine, after trashing the garage, having the balls to demand I sign off on a loan? Good luck Bitch!)

It makes HOW MUCH from disability + off the books income, yet STILL has nothing-while contributing NOTHING to bills???

Fucking nut job.

I can fix the garage door, Bitch'd STILL be mental.

Day 2175

:)
BRUTALLY humid am, but STILL finished the 10k. No walk breaks, though DID walk through water stops. Never DID figure how to sip and run @ the same time.

Spent the night with peeps, to get to the race rested and first and foremost: to have a night's rest.

Day 2174

?

One day hell, next day silent. Mental illness IS anything BUT dull.

Came in last night, Bitch silent. Perfect.

This am Spin, then hung with peeps. Breakfasted with Pret. Nice!

Day 2173

Back

Bitch is BACK!

Must've gotten another bill.

I got in, It was on a TEAR. All this in front of Stoney and his peep. Real class.

It now alleges I refinanced for personal gain. Regardless of signing the paperwork when we did, It now-in Its diseased mind-alleges I did it for myself. Fucking moron.

Not even thinking: BOTH parties signed the papers. Fucking moron. Conveniently forgot Its responsibility-again.

Nice to be a perpetual victim.

I worked, I ran, I had a GREAT day.

This just in

Ducked in to brush my teeth, Bitch out, all tranquil. Then...THEN

Guess who storms in, threatening lawsuits/take me to court because I refinanced the mortgage to.....

This Bitch IS sick.

1)If you pay a bill, you have a say, otherwise: fuck off and enjoy the free ride.

2)I DO have a right to spend time in MY house.

3)Enjoy your debts, you earned them.

(got any Snapple?)

Day 2172

The thing of it is:

Here's what I don't get: Bitch constantly takes Its anger out on me. Bitch tries to keep me out of my own house, doesn't thing I have any rights in the address to which I pay every bill, and it pays NONE. It charges a buttload, living WAY beyond Its means, then thinks of he magic pill: refinance the mortgage. All well and good, but, who pay the mortgage? Does It think It will receive any assistance if It pays NOTHING toward the bills?????????????

Really?

Wake someone up from a sound sleep to scream at them, then expect assistance? Call me a "scumbag motherfucker," who should "die a slow and painful death," (wonder if It uses this language in religion?), then expect help?

What part of THERE IS NO SPARE MONEY is not clear?

This individual receives a monthly disability check, and off the books income. Pays ZERO household bills, and yet is in debt. Pity.

Try kindness, it works.

Does a negative word EVER come out of my mouth? No. Am I constantly he recipient of abuse? Yes. It's ok. I have thirty years sobriety. I have zero debt. I am retired. I am healthy.

This morning I ran.

Life is good!

Day 2171

Better!

Came in last night, Bitch behaved, a.k.a "quiet." Stoney hangin' with his peep. Nice, for a change. As I walked by the gate It, again, broke. Paid $1,500 to have it fixed/replaced-Bitch left it open before a storm-of course it broke. Of COURSE Bitch hadda drive into it. Good. When it breaks for good, leave it broken.

Worked last night, little sleep, got my miles this am! Nothing stops me.

Day 2170

Amazing

What you can do when you put your mind to it!

Did the 10m race, worked all night, then ran this am. Was SUCH a beautiful morning I hadda. Cool, crisp, perfect! Probably collapse later, but as long as I keep moving I'll be fine.

Day 2168

???

Come in, spoke for a nanosecond, then...THEN...Bitch demands $25,000. WTF? It IS losing Its mind. "I need....." STOP CHARGING. Moron.

Did the run this am, poorly directed, was supposed to be a 5k, was more like an 8k. Who cares, had fun. Then, back to Toxichouse for the first lawn mow of the season. Of COURSE Bitch started with the garage shit, to which I replied "anytime you need to get in, I'll open it." What the FUCK does It think is in there??????? Mental Bitch. This, after breaking one of the garage windows. I finally responded "do that and your lawn will NEVER be cut."

Fucking mental Bitch. Here's someone making Its backyard nice, and does It ask if I need a beverage? Anything nice to say at all? Bitch wasn't even supposed to be there.

Fuck 'em, I ran. I'm good!!!!!

Day 2169

Again I ask: WTF???

Had a VERY good sat, ran well, then chilled. Came in, more Haagen Dazs empties in the garbage-none saved for me (how's that abscess? Got any Snapple???). THEN, selfish mental Bitch has the tits to ask for something?  1)fix the back door asshole! You know, the one you promised to replace as my birthday gift? The one currently held together with duct tape??? (could you BE more White Trash???)   2)fix the front door-now in as bad shape as the back. Gee, slamming a door breaks it???

So-again-went out to dinner. Every time Haagen Dazs is purchased and eaten, leaving none for me, I go out to dinner. Fuck 'em.

Then, when any further demand is made-or my belongings vandalized, I'm cutting off cable. Why should I pay for something when I'm not allowed to enjoy it?

Did the 10m this am, bbq later.

Day 2167

La La Land

Apparently, that's where It lives.

It has a buttload of debt, keep charging babe! It thinks a home equity loan will address this. It doesn't think: you have to REPAY a loan. And I'm not about to cosign on anything It's involved in. MIGHT try NOT charging????? TRY living within your means???

It tried again getting on me last night, attempting to indicate I was responsible, i.e. all the shit I charged.....What It, again, failed to realize: anytime I charge, I repay IMMEDIATELY. I NEVER charged when I lacked funds. Only charged because cash is a liability. What It thinks: credit cards are like a magic wand. No WONDER It pays exorbitant rates as well as penalties. Now, it is backed into a corner.

So, of course I indicated the obvious: debt consolidation. Duh.

Gee, wonder where Its friends are? Do THEY pay Its debts? Not a cnt, yet, they radilt offer their opinions. Equally worthless.

This, from a person with dental issues-who is surgically attached to a bottle of sugary beverage. Again, DUH.

(wouldn't the $$$ used for Aruba be useful now?????).

Also, after 24+ years of work, did I EVER have a vacation? Nope. Yet, It feels entitled to Aruba? And to lay about in the sun????? (REALLY wise for a cancer survivor).

Got my miles, went to Spin. Going out to dinner. Nice.

Day 2166

Men are from Mars....

Went to my Wed meeting, REALLY good. Nice to have friends, you know, "make believe friends?"

Then, caught Mad Max. Not really impressed, but 1)better than a moment with Bitch and 2)killed time till the airing of Dave's last show.

Turns out, Bitch had an abscess. THAT's what was behind Its mental breakdown. God FORBID you cop to being in pain, rather, tear me a new one.

Got to bed, the bed is DESTROYED. Fucking mental asshole.

I can make the bed, but you'll still be fucked up beyond belief.

Tonight, dinner with the guys.

Day 2165

?

Got in, of COURSE Bitch started. The lawn,,,debts......wants a fridge, a couch...............NOW that It demands I avoid the place between 8am-8pm, It wants the lawn done? Of course I responded: tough to do in the dark. Fucking moron.

Re: The fridge, the couch. As I said before, It's been through THREE couches. The fridge? I'm not allowed to touch anything within it. Sucks for It.

So, what does It do? Take one fucked up car to buy ice cream. Remember, the one constant was: the Haagen Dazs comes in a 3 pack, no matter how much fireworks happened one was saved for me. Not yesterday.

Nice isn't it.

Enjoy your debt, you earned it.

Funny, after working 24 years for the state, does It give me ANY credit? No. Rather, in Its mental mind a staffworker became a lawyer-expressely to see me fired. Could you BE any  more mental? Like I'm that important?

This is what happens when you reached the top of your field, worked endlessly, devoted yourself, and retired. Your mental, psycho, angry, off Its meds, Bitch takes the feelings from its shipwreck of a life and blames you. This is what transpires in the mind of a professional victim. Alot easier than being responsible isn't it?

Had a BLAST @ the Ranger game yesterday. This am, got my run in on a crisp, cool am. Nice. Later, going to the final Letterman taping.

To think, I offered It Van Morrison tix, Its response: "give me the money." Sick. Pathetic.

Hope the ice cream was good.

Day 2164

REALLY?

Can't get over my piggy banks depleted. Fucking pathetic.

When Bitch got out of the hospital, It came home to a thoroughly clean home, a son having missed not a day of school, debts paid, all in order. Prior to hospitalization, house a shithole, It avoided the phone due to debt collectors.

Now, house is Toxichouse, shit EVERYWHERE, It has not one but TWO cars in total disrepair (wonder what'll happen when It needs replacement???), and It has debt collectors up Its ass. Good. THIS is what you get for being a mental Bitch.

Had a GREAT night on the job, dif location, no boss up my ass. REALLY a pleasure.

Spoke with football dad this am, we're hooking up manana am (you know, one of my "make believe friends"), as Bitch does...whotheFUCKcares.

A very good night, a very good day!

Day 2163

S.O.S.

Come in, mail opened. S.O.S. Bitch Cannot keep Itself. Yet, if I touch ANYTHING.....Good. THIS is why the place looks unoccupied. Grass a foot high.

Stoney, in the den again, moved my shit, again.

Ahhh home.

Fuck 'em. I'm good, I'm REALLY good!!!!!

Did the Half, did the Memorial Run-broke 9 minutes!

Day 2162

WHEW!!!!!!!

Again, VERY little sleep, ran.

2 hours or so, an extended cat nap really. Then off to lower manhattan. There were 2 races today; one in Queens (Forest Park), the other the NYPD Memorial. So, guess which? Of course the nypd. Got there early enough to snag a GREAT spot, only to be told-too late-to move because....Even the cops there thought it was ridic. Nontheless, when tables were set up blocking my exit (tables, in the street??? YOU tryu arguing with cops. Asshole move THAT wasP). The garage across the street: $48. For 3 HOURS???? Fuck that. One block away, $22. Only in ny kiddies.

So, prerrace chillin', sittin', nappin', the Danz's encounter me. They were pinning numbers to their shirts. Amazing. 2,000 peeps doin' this race, I bump into them. REALLY glad I did this one.

WOULD be nice to sleep, but @ Toxichouse, the best you do is shut your eyes (literally AND figuratively).

Quite a weekend!!!

Day 2161

Did it!!!

Worked, wrapped things up. Caught 90 mins of sleep, then off to Brookyn. Volunteered @ the start baggage, then ran the half. Who needs sleep anyway?

Day 2160

Whole again!

After setting a record for loaner car possession (gave my veeeeehicle to the dealer April 10!!!!!), finally got my babybackbabybackbabyback. Fair dealer, good people.

Manana, hell. Brooklyn half, that's good. Bad: rain, and horrible logistics. Whatthefuck, better than spending a minute with Bitch.

This am Spin. Felt GREAT!!!!!

Day 2159

Yin/Yang

Funny, all was well when I got bills, THOUSANDS of dollars of bills for treatment It received. Now that It gets the bills for the care It received, I get a new one torn?

Add THAT to Its lifelong resistance to living according to a budget, and you get the current conditions. KNEE DEEP IN SHIT. Sucks for It.

Called it didn't I??? WAY back when we lived in Uniondale, I'd asked why It never, ever wrote a shopping list? This m.o. followed It throughout Its life. Never lived with any semblance of discipline. Now, over $100,000 in debt. What does It do? STEALS the change from my piggy bank. No shit. Fucking pathetic. Then, raids my closet.

Sad.

Not to worry. I led the meeting last night, one highlight of which was pictures of Toxichouse. It tried to undermine me, actually speaking @ MY homegroup (It has poor-if any-boundaries). No worries. When the assembled groupmembers saw the pictures of what It allowed Toxichouse to become, they ALL asked which episode of Hoarders we appeared in?

THIS was balanced with the pictures on my Youtube page, showing the house when It got out of the hospital. There we once were, clean, ordered, no bill collectors.

The place looked great. Of course, they asked just HOW mental It is? I had no answer. Not my problem.

(they really loved the pix of the punched out door).

Beautiful day, got my miles, then golf. Later, meet with my peeps.

Day 2158

Told ya!

All was well when It tried pushing Its debt onto me. Now that It must face the music, all hell breaks loose.

Debt peeps be hittin' on It to pay the piper. Now, the guy whose belongings were flung to the ground, the guy who is banned from his home during 8am-8pm, the guy who pays every bill, is supposed to enable this?

It claims It will apply for a home equity loan. Good luck with that. It needs my signature. And I will NOT lose my home because It is a shipwreck.

It went on a rant about debt, maxing our credit cards, the couch, the fridge...basically everything It touches turns to shit. And I'm supposed to help? Satan doesn't help. The fridge I'm NOT supposed to eat from, I'm now responsible for? The oven I'm not supposed to cook with, I'm responsible for THAT? Convenient to blame aren't I??????????????????

As if paying every bill isn't enough?

Told It to make nominal payments. But that won't suffice. It won't even try. THAT would involve responsibility, which It obviously cannot commit to. Rather, as usual, It wants a magic pill. Start the countdown re: how long 'til Pedrito gets a call.

Useless Bitch.

Day 2157

Damn.

Bitch came home, thus, "home" again = "Toxichouse."

Fuck 'em, got my miles, Spin tonight. Summer's ON!!!!!

Day 2156

Nicely done!


Did the 4m in CP, nice. Always a beautiful day, always a shirt I wear. Why? Dunno. It's cotton, flowers on it, design kinda sucks. Probably because of some subconscious shit. Bottom line, another qualifier in the books. Another CP run with no walk breaks.


Saw Maria, broke her balls re: not appearing @ our race. But hadda give her props, had no excuses. Honestly said "did another race." Ok, no bullshit, I'll buy it.


Again, Bitch out overnight. Good. Got a good night's sleep with no drama. As car #1 sits in the driveway. Look @ the Youtube channel for pix. TRY telling me it doesn't look abandoned? Or, like a homeless person lives in it. Fucking amazing.

Tons of shit everywhere, tells me I have no right to be there between 8am-8pm, place falling to shit.....but I need counseling..................


Happy belated mother's day to me! I do it all with ZERO help.

*Won Van Morrison tix for Forest Hills concert, asked if It was interested. It answered "don't change the subject" (It was on a rant, @ 12:40am), then "I'll take the $$$." Fucking pathetic. THIS teaches religion? "Love one another....." right. Angry psycho Bitch. A fucking shipwreck who blames everything/everyone BUT Itself. (remember, the son you CLAIM to love wouldn't have come out of another gene pool moron!).

Day 2155

like I didn't see?

Every day I empty change into one of several piggy banks. Funny how they never fill? But remember, if I touch ANY of the CRAP littering every step of the dump, I'm threatened with legal action.

Fuck 'em. And happy Mother's Day to my mother. Forever in my heart, especially as she watches Bitch fuck up everything.

4m in CP this am. Got a good night's sleep-too good. Bitch wasn't there, so actually had peace. Problem was: overslept (for me). 90 minutes after I'd planned, I left for the race start. No worries, just didn't get up stupid early. Needed the rest.

Day 2154

?????

Came in, air conditioner on the bed. Thanks Stoney. Bitch got to you didn't It??????? THEN, my belongings in the den fucked with. Remember, this is as person who FREAKED because I (GASP) threw out a plastic bag that was on his floor. But it's ok to fuck with dad's stuff. I'm told "you have too much shit there." Who's the homeowner? Who's the parent?

Bitch RANTING about...whatever. You know the drill, "when I had chemo..." "when I was in the hospital....." TEN + YEARS AGO BITCH!!!!! ALSO, who paid every motherfucking bill? Cleaned the house? Assured Stoney was cared for? Funny how THAT is neglected. Convenient to be a victim isn't it???????

THEN, "give me money for..." Again, WHO pays EVERY MOTHERFUCKING bill?????

So yes, I did VERY well in this am's 5k. Broke 30! Now, I know I can break 9 min pace. I actually feel it in me!

..but I need counseling....................

Day 2153

"rest day?"

No run this am, Spin instead. Was REALLY on the fence: felt SO good after consecutive run days I didn't wanna take a break. BUT, manana a 5k, Sunday a 4m. Gotta have life in the legs.

Waiting for the Spin class, instructor JUST made it. I was ready to leave, but showed up @ the last minute. Ended up just the two of us. Nice. When this happened in the past, we both looked @ each other and thought it'd be weird, but 1)we drink the same kool-aid   2)we both needed it. Niiiice.

Day 2152

Told ya!

Run and NOTHING can touch you.

Had a great day off, ran, hit a flick, went to Toxichouse @ 4:30 to eat. MAJOR mistake. Bitch was there, crap EVERYWHERE. It FREAKED. Told me the sight of me pissed It off (good AA there, "how important is it?  "Don't let others rent space in your head?"  "Don't give up your power?"). Ain't I a powerful motherfucker??????? Isn't It a TOTAL mess????? Fucking mental bitch. Actually followed me outside SCREAMING. Good, let the neighbors see what mental looks like.

Actually told me I wasn't allowed there between 8am-8pm. Guess the lawn won't ever get done? Good. Let the dump look like Vietnam.

Fucking mental case.

What REALLY happened?

Bitch has TWO cars that are fucked, and Stoney paymentS (yes, 2) are due. Funny, plenty of $$$$$ for weed, none for responsibilities.

So, It continued ranting, I'm a horrible husband for NOT visiting when It was in hospital, 12 years ago. Of course, HOW many dinner @ Sizzler did Stoney and I have before going to visit the Bitch? Use THAT as proof, dozens. But according to mental patient, I never went. Add THAT to It ranting that I'm also a horrible father (I don't print $$$ to give to Stoney, this was translated into "you haven't given him a penny since......." Of course, WHO pays EVERY bill????? WHO gave him lunch $$$, otherweise he didn't eat, as It pled poverty-as It was tethered to Its omnipresent Snapple bottle???? NOW, following years of sugared beverages, they lament dental benefits I no longer have?).

So @ that point, I had it. Told It It was a shit wife, an enabling mother, and a manipulating hypocrite (speaking @ MY AA meeting????? Pathetic Bitch). Left the place-with It following me raging-good, let the neighbors see what mental looks like. Went OUT to dinner with my peeps @ Peter Luger's.

My peeps REALLY love the pix I threw up of the hole in the bathroom door. Lovely.

...but I need counseling...............................

 



Day 2151

BACK!

Enough of being a lemming, i.e. Spin. THAT was good for a while, but HOW many of the participants actually changed/toned/lost weight? ZERO. Back to running, consecutive days. Nice to have that "everything is now in its proper place" feeling.

Day 2150

Whew!


Made it through the weekend unscathed, relatively. Bitch STILL raging about....who the FUCK cares. As Its shit STILL litters the ENTIRE household, the back door (remember my "birthday gift of a new door?" Wonder where that is???) crumbles. Now the FRONT door crumbles. Think either of the airheads will have a, A-Ha moment and deduce SLAMMING a door wrecks it?


Fuck 'em.


It asked if I had "plans" to get a job. Funny Bitch.


GREAT temps, 80's, warm breeze in the evening. Got my miles predawn, the day is mine!!!!!

***Bitch spoke at my home group-think It has poor boundary issues??? (this, after blabbing about getting info re: my being @ that group from one of its members???) Wonder if It told the group about using coffee to stay awake then using sleeping pills? Wonder if It mentioned calling the father of Its son a "scumbag motherfucker" who should "die a slow painful death" after eating (GASP) food from the fridge-while It specifically purchases munchies for Stoney and his weed peeps??? A.K.A. its ok to buy junk food for weed smoking teens, but the mortgage payer has no entitlements.

...but I need counseling..................

Day 2149

:)


Did the Morris Mauler with Rob. REALLY a good time. Just him n me on a road trip, did an amazing run, then chillaxed. Got to work, did ok, then Toxichouse where all was actually....what's the word...QUIET?


A very good weekend, reconnected with peeps, did the run, worked, nice.

Day 2148

Lovely

Got my miles, then Spin, then peeps. A lovely Saturday, until I got back to Toxichouse. Bitch's shit STILL in the den, useless fucking Bitch.

But I digress. It hadda pass three times, at least, in order to invade my turf to put out the dog-you know-the creature they promised to walk???????

Fuck 'em both, I met my peeps, we reconnected. Like we didn't miss a step. They're doing the run this am, as Bitch teaches religion (Go JEEEEEEEEEEEZUS!). They're professionals with a career, good mates for each other. As Bitch lives the life of a professional victim.

Good to have peeps.

Doing the Mauler this asm, hooking up with my peeps in a few mins.

Day 2147

Called THAT too


Bitch puts Its shit in the den, I move it, It rages. Of course.


Stoney puts Its shit BACK in the den. Remember, this is the individual who demands his father who pays the mortgage stays out of his room. Yet this individual can do whatever they please?


And Bitch? Its shit STILL there.


Fuck 'em. Saw Clapton, was AMAZING.


This am, got my miles, now on my way to meet peeps.

Day 2146

called it!

Bitch switching from one shipwreck to the other, aka: dif car. Result: puts Its shit in the den. You KNEW THAT would happen. God forbid the bitch doesn't walk a few LESS steps to the living room, rather, spread Its crap to the one room where things are in order.

Came in, of COURSE It hadda vent Its rage, typical fucking psycho.

Good news: celebrated 30, yes, THIRTY years sober. Not dry, like Bitch, but truly sober. With the behaviors that match. No bullshit, no playing the victim. Responsible for my life and loving every nanosecond.