Day 1994

Yin/Yang

(check the Youtube page for sound, got 56 hits in 30 minutes on this one!). 12:14 am, Stoney BURSTS into the bedroom, fresh from work, PISSED. Alleged I ate 2 eggs (didn't) and called him @ 4 am, also, didn't. So, let that sink in. #1, why would I call him @ 4 in the am? And, why would I eat the eggs? (as if that would be a problem anyway? And, since when am I accountable to my son???). Like I said, check the Youtube page, your mind will be blown that he must've been hallucinating these things, and had the gall to wake his father up with this sort of bullshit. Not even capable of basic human decency? As if either matter couldn't wait? Fortunately, I didn't respond to his bullshit. It just isn't worth my time.

So, the Yang: first, the Youtube response is amazing! My peeps got to hear his bullshit and can't believe he would say that sort'a crap. Amazing. Imagine if his accusations were true. God forbid I have the balls to eat anything in the fridge? And if I did, do I answer to him? AND, if he has a question, he can't simply ask it, rather than BURST into the bedroom @ 12:14 am and wake me up????? They thought I made this shit up! This and Sybil's rants make great posts.

Seriously, I'd never treat my worst enemy as he behaves. Does the same to his mother.

So, again, the Yang: did the race this am, again, broke 10. Nice. In a cross-country no less, then, spending the day with my peeps. Does it get any better?

...Amazing, allegations of (GASP) eating 2 eggs from the fridge and calling him @ 4 am? This is amazing shit!!!!! Why would I even THINK of doing either????? And why would I dignify this bullshit with a response? Thank God for Youtube!

Day 1993

Nice!

Finished the work week on a high note. Got into a fender bender, no probs as the boss knows me-knows I don't fuck around. Another employee was suspended for a week after an accident. Nice vote of confidence. Also, the staff are always happy to have me on their work team, also nice. This is the reaction wherever I go. One more person tells me "you're an inspiration" and I'll give them Bitch's phone number. This is the feedback I SHOULD get @ home! Fuck it, I had a good week. Also, they're downsizing, yet I get more hours, they know what sort of employee I am. Nice.

Add that to a spin class to round out the week, and I did ok.

Bitch? Out, again, for the night. Does it GET any better?????

Day 1992

Thanksgiving? Just another day. They went to my brothers, I went to feed the poor then went to work. YOU tell ME who did Jesus' work?

Came in, It was out for the night, Stoney doin' what he does. Perfect. At least I had a quiet night. Thanksgiving sucks, but I got to hit the gym in the am.

Can't lose the sting of Bitch yelling that I should have 3 jobs. This Bitch IS nuts. THAT'S what JEEEEEEEZUS would do????? (as I walked into a "house" with the floor littered with garbage. Bitch cut flowers, left crap ALL OVER the floor. Fucking pig.).

Happy holidays (56 days since my birthday promise of a door. Like it's ever gonna happen. I really wouldn't care, but if you promise as gift, fucking produce it!!!).

Happy motherfucking holiday.

Day 1991

Not too shabby!

The shit weather wasn't THAT bad, mostly rain. did ok. Spin in the am replaced lacin' 'em up, but my knees thanked me!

Turkeys ready!!! Today we do God's work!

Thank you God for my wonderful mother, who set an example for us all, my brother who helped us through too many life crises, and my father for instilling in me a backbone!

Day 1990

Here it comes!

Rain this am, snow this pm. This IS the season.

And yes, Nov 26, fifty + days, still waiting to see any trace of my birthday gift (wouldn't it have been less painful to just give a card rather than promise a gift that never materializes?). Wouldn't be a problem if not for the fact that it's yet more proof that nothing is ever accomplished. Big surprise.

Defrosting the turkeys should be finished, gonna marinate them, then get ready to cook. Really the true spirit of giving thanks to give to those less fortunate. What it's really all about!

Day 1989

Yay!

Upper 50's, PERFECT for The Line. Good news: after a good run, nothing can hurt, despite Stoney and Sybil's words this am, very unkind. But they do their very best, having overcome alot, we all have much to be thankful for.

Speaking of which: who do I hang with yesterday? A 3 years older version of me! For some time, some of the shop drivers have been "odd." What I mistook for an attitude was...an attitude: mine! A REAL Newyorican attitude, as in: "if I don't know you, I have nothing to say to you." This guy, it turns out, did The Marathon, exercises regularly, and knows what it's like to live in Toxicity. We both think the world of our wives and sons, and both deal with their anger. We both work out, knowing we must take care of ourselves since no one else will. Nice to meet a real peer! Best of all, lives 2 blocks away!!!!!

Live laugh love!

Day 1988

Progress?

Did the 10k in Long Beach. THOUGHT I was doing well, until I got to the 5k split, over 10 minute pace????? I started mid to back pack, so I hadda do something. Really don't give a shit about speed, that's the beauty of being a marathon runner. BUT, still wanted to do better than 10-ish. I came in @ 9:57. Good. Had a GLIRC peep pacing me, without their knowing it. We chatted off and on, kept 'em in sight.

Rain slowing, gonna hit the asphalt. Making it a great day!!!!!

Day 1987

Feeling good!

Despite domestic obstacles, Stoney being odd(er) and Sybil raging, things are looking up.

This am, 45 degs, perfect for a flat 10k. Later, hooking up with the peeps for some hunting, then watch football. Can it get any better than this?

Day 1986

Yay!

Back in the saddle today. This week has been a running shipwreck-cold, so was crosstraining. This am, race day. A 4m today, a 10k manana. Nice. Nice to be back where I belong.

Came in yesterday, shit ALL OVER the floor-as in: couldn't walk from one side of the bed to the other. Fucking pig.

Day 1985

!!!

Not everyday you get to meet a hero!

Went to see Ace Frehley last night. Fave venue, one of my fave artists. 4 of us having dinner @ the restaurant down the block, who walks in? I was wearing my Frehley's Comet t-shirt, he pointed to it, we fist bumped, he signed the shirt! Niiice!!!!!

Can't wait to see Joe Walsh!

All this because of my "make believe friends." Really heartwarming! Retirement is good!!!!!

Day 1984

Comb?

In his latest acting out behavior, Stoney took my comb. Got weed? Amazing. What I ever did to deserve this, I dunno, But how's college goin' kiddo? You have your mother's displacement gene! Get mad @ daddy (you know, the person whose family you use for holidays?), while he works to pay the mortgage. Yet, what does daddy get in return? It's now 48 days since my birthday, where's the door?

Fat fucking chance I'll lift a finger here. Try walking the dog YOU wanted. Bitch about his getting loose, yet if he was taken for a walk the getting loose shit would be a moot point.

...but I need counseling.....the guy whose stuff is fair game for abuse, but if he so much as thinks of touching anything, legal action is threatened. Go for it. The judge would recoil in horror when he sees the bedroom with its piles of crap, the living room with its piles of crap............

I can always buy another comb, you'll still be a brat.

Day 1983

Brrr!

Cold! BUT, had an EPIC day! Driving these vehicles is really a kick! Can now say I've driven EVERY car except a Tesla!

Best of all: I walk in, It rages about owing It $$$ for the cake and pie I ate. Yes, Virginia, Bitch IS nuts! When It pays me for the electricity It used, the cable It watched, the home It abuses, I'll pay. Imagine being asked to pay for food that was in your fridge? Now extrapolate: think I actually ate the entire pie and cake? Maybe a fourth, so one fourth of $4??? As if??????????????????? Fucking Psycho. Wonder if Its friends really know? Of course not, all they get is the Psycho-distilled version.

Enjoy the day kiddies, you KNOW I will!

Day 1982

Happy Birthday!

Note: it's been 6 weeks, any sign of the door? It's in the void. Didn't REALLY think THAT was gonna happen didya? More empty promises.........(what WOULD JEEEEEEEEEZUS do?).

But I come in yesterday, my bathrobe on the floor leading to the crypt/basement. But It LOVES sending psychotexts about.  My fucking with Its things? Right. As of now, over 1,000 Youtube hits on Its latest food rant. Think maybe It needs an OA meeting. Last evening, raging that I owe It a pie and a cake for eating all of what it had in the fridge. In truth, I had 2 forkfuls a night, WOW. Call the lawyers! Remember when it lost Its mind about my having soup? The SAME soup It said I could have? ........but I need counseling......

And yes, despite the rain, got my miles. Better than listening to a nutjob rage about nothing.

After, we had our first Christmas party practice. Really gives you the spirit of what it's all about.

...but I need counseling.....

Day 1981

Good timing!

Raining this am. After doing the 10k yesterday, works out well: forced rest. Bumped into 2 peeps, hung with 'em most of the day.

Over 300 + hits on Youtube. Why? Guess who lost their mind, again? Psychobitch tried to text and call me more than 5x yesterday! CanNOT realize It's number is blocked from my phone, goes directly to brotherfromanothermother. This in turn is thrown on my Youtube channel. Most comments focus on "missed her meds-again?" I wish it was that simple. It FREAKED over some trivial crap, food or something. Real good "sobriety" there ("How important is it?") Hubby eats some food from the fridge, so, lemme harass him via phone. Amazing. THIS is what JEEEEEEZUS would do? THEN, disrupts the den, again, to leave Its mark. Adding to the fun, Stoney fucks with my coffee. Good, enjoy. You can fuck with my things, but you'll STILL be a Psycho. You can fuck with my things, but you'll STILL be a spoiled brat.

Best of all, they regularly violate my privacy, and read this at least once a day. How else would they know what they do? Thanks Keith!

Live, laugh, love!!!!!

Here's the thing

You can fuck with my things all you want (I can buy more), you'll still be a PsychoBitch.

You can put all the bills you want on the fridge, you'll still be a PsychoBitch.

You can teach all the religion you want, then abuse your spouse, you'll STILL be a PsychoBitch.

I've been sober for 29+ years. Good parenting, education, and sobriety have taught me much. More than forcing myself to stay awake to process Avon orders, drinking too much coffee to do so, then taking sleeping pills. THEN claiming years of sobriety. (by the way, how'd that Avon thing workout?).

What I REALLY love: It enjoys speaking of the success of others, then comes in and throws my marathon mementos to the ground. Got Psycho?

Queen of displacement.

I really miss the person I married.

And if I hadda do it all over again, I would. My wedding day ranks as one of the three best days of my life.

Unfortunately, I seem the only person who takes the phrase "wedding VOW" seriously.

No matter. God knows wassup, you know, the God It attempts to fool. (Like that could happen? Fool yourself-i.e.keep hair coloring despite its link to lumphoma, but God knows wassup).

In the meantime, I'll keep doing the right thing. I have sobriety, I have the love of my mother and father within me. I have solid education and years of a profession which enabled many to get their lives together.

Day 1980

;)

Spent a BEAUTIFUL day with my make believe friends!

Hung with Walcott during and after Spin. bumped into him @ the gym and we decided to make a day of it. Really nice. We compared running and golfing tips, then hit The Links. Compared notes on the beauty of the freedom of retirement. Nice. what slays us both-he has the same situation @ his crib, neither Psychobitch realizes what we earned was EARNED. Sybil, literally, gets pissed that I did ok. Never mind over 2 dozen years of work-as opposed to its habits (staying up too late, sleeping lateR, then amassing bills from which you expect ME to rescue you. Good luck with that. Who pays the taxes? Wanna pay your own?).

A very nice day.

Of course, The Religion Teacher put an end to that. Came in pissed at something or other-never can admit It fucked up financially so gotta get pissed @ me. So, fucked with my things (I should text It a psycho text, but then, I'd havta teach religion). Remember, if I touch, literally, ANYTHING IN MY OWN HOME, I'm threatened with legal action. So, the toilet was full when I came in, left it. It tapes a bill to the fridge. Why? I suppose I should tape my bills to the fridge? Think that's how bills get paid? I always thought you worked, you got paid, you paid your bills. didn't know about this fridge tape thing? (using a "pray for vocations" magnet no less. Ironic. Think Jeeeeeeezus'll pay the bills???).

Live, laugh, love!!!!!

Day 1979

Zero

Zero credit card debt. Zero debts period. AAA credit rating. Nice.

Spent the day @ the cabin yesterday, Penn was beautiful. 2 inches of snow, but made the deer hunt challenging. This place is truly gorgeous. Retirement DOESN'T suck. Then, back to Toxichouse to attempt to sleep, note: attempt.

Peep came through with Joe Walsh tix!!!!!

Day 1978

No, you CAN'T write stuff this good

Yesterday morning (6 ish) hear the bong perkin'. Next thing, I'm being torn a new one for "stealing socks." Stoney accusing me of stealing his precious socks. Now, let that sink in. 1)WHY would I do that   2)THIS is what a son does to his father?  3)He follows this by calling me a "pussy," and threatening to fuck with my belongings if I didn't buy him socks. Again, let THAT sink in:

1)no respect
2)CHILD threatens PARENT?
3)Mother? What is It doing during this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So much for teaching religion; "honor thy father and mother?" Has no problem honoring mother as It does whatever the fuck he dictates. But "father" is "a pussy." (ran HOW many marathons????? Had HOW many successful careers????? Lost HOW much weight????? Provided treatment to the indigent, giving them a chance to get their lives back on track, for HOW many years???? Whose benefits kept his mother alive????? Tolerated HOW many years of his bullshit????? But I'm a pussy. Smoke some more. It's doing wonders for you. Keep coughing.
4)He works @ Target. TAKE SOME WEED $$$ AND BUY SOCKS!!!!!

(...but I need counseling.....a child who has zero respect and no concern for boundaries, and a mother who does absolutely nothing about it) Nice. Makes a guy feel really good about working. Wake up in the am and have what came out of you call you a pussy, come in after work and find the situation described below:

So, I come home, he DID in fact fuck with my things.
THIS is REALLY funny since both he and his mother love breaking my balls about the locks on containers in the den. NOW you know WHY the locks are there. Keep offspring from fucking with my belongings.

The sad part: no consequences/responsibility. His mother used to get a kick out of breaking my balls for the locks, without once acknowledging WHY they were in place. Like I all of a sudden decided to lock everything?

Of course, Stoney mimics Its shit, so HE has to fuck with me.

Plain truth, I never ever touched his socks, couldn't give less than a shit. But in his weed addled mind, I'm a pussy. So, fuck it. He's out of both my will and insurance.

Payback's a what?

If I die, he gets ZERO, and the house will go into default.

So the question: what keeps me going? Can't let negativity ever affect me. I've come WAY too far in life to backslide. I came from a mother and father who worked VERY hard (something rarely, if ever, seen @ Toxichouse, where people do pretty much whatever the fuck they want), and they instilled this ethic. As opposed to what I see on a daily basis. No cleaning, no cooking, no housekeeping. Nothing but attitudes run rampant. And when I vacuum the den, I get shit for it. So, both the will and insurance have been amended. Keep fucking with me.

Day 1977

(year I graduated high school)

So, 41 degrees to start. Tempted to spin, but a slippery slope. Manana it's s'posed to be cooler and rainy. and as you know, one day off turns to two days.......This, in addition to the last day of moderate temps being yesterday.....think I'll lace 'em up!

Tonight, buy the turkeys for the thanksgiving donations. Gonna be a great day!

Day 1976

It'll do

Did Spin this am. Rain HAD been predicted, instead, it was foggy and sloppy. No thanks. Fortunately, ran into a Big One peep @ the gym, he felt the same. He'd run Monday, so he was cross training. Worked for me!

Peep from the job died, unfortunately, found out too late. This am, had a msg from a work peep telling me of his passing. I'd spent the day mulling over whether or not to attend, turns out the service was this am. So much for the crack staff comm network.

Thanksgiving? Dunno. Working, but might be able to do the family thing. A coin toss really. We'll see.

Day 1975

Brrr!!!!!!

Getting ready to hit The Line this am. Temps in low 40's. Compared to The Big One, warm, but compared to real life, nippy.

But it'll be nice to be back where I belong.

Day 1974

Well done!

Did the run with my make believe friend yesterday. Did well, 4th in my age group, but more importantly, back in the saddle.

Came home, ("home" because it wasn't toxic. It was out), every door locked. Stoney being odd (er). Really kid, get a grip. If I locked every door?????

Day 1973

Here at last!

Bumped into a friend I hadn't met yet last night. Went to a meeting, Peep was wearing The Big One shirt, we started talking. Again, George Sheehan was right: "wherever there's a runner, I have a friend." Amazing, and very cool.

This am, finally back in the saddle, a 10k. Be nice to get back where I belong, missed running. A piece of me is back.

It? Another night away, didn't ask where/don't care. All I know: I had a peaceful evening.

Wonder if It tells all its friends it flies into psychotic fits if I have the (GASP) balls to enter my own home? Remember the night before the night before The Big One? Most important night of sleep? What did it do? Fucking nut job.

...but I need counseling.....................

Takes better care of complete strangers than it does Its own blood relatives, takes better care of their homes than It does Its hovel.

...but I need counseling......................................

Day 1972

Sooo close!

Almost done recovering from The Big One. This am, Spin class. Felt good to be there, but the same faces, the same places, no one changed. NOT a good thing. They do it to maintain, not progress. God only knows what they're eating.

It-out for the night. Thank GOD. Actually had a peaceful evening. Aside from monosyllabic responses when attempting to engage Stoney in conversation.

Day 1971

tgif

Another week of not losing ground, enjoying retirement.

Another recovery day-another nice benefit of running marathons-days you SHOULDN'T exercise.

Nice outcome to the vehicle repair. Dealer didn't jerk me off, problem solved. Had a loaner for a couple of days. a win win.

Day 1970

Happy almost Friday!

Making a recovery week easier, it's raining! Good. Hit Spin class again.

This Just In

Actually (GASP) entered where I pay the mortgage, It was home. Needless to say, angry I dared set foot. Can you believe this shit????? Actually have the balls to set foot in the same address @ which I pay a mortgage??? Ain't I a motherfucker?

...but I need counseling.......

"your honor, he had the temerity to set foot in HIS OWN HOME, in the daytime." OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

...but I need counseling........

Day 1969

Progress (ing)

The good part of The big One: rest week. You really canNOT run, even if you wanted to. It's not unlike the day after Christmas.

So, yesterday hit The Park, met up with Stan who had my throw away windshirt. He and the peeps were @ mile 14, I was warm by then, gave it to him. contained within: my all important ugly as fuck orange DD winter hat-almost as important as the medal. Only a marathoner knows.

Came in, Stoney being typically bitchy (really kid, get a life). angry I kept the shower door open when I was bathing, i.e. "close the fucking door." A door he keeps open when he showers. Missed his midol. And college. And boundaries. And respect.

Day 1968

:)

Feeling better, after having had a day to regain sensation in my hands. GodDAMN The Big One was cold! AND, thank GOD I went to work after. NOT ceasing movement was restorative.

And yes, hit the Y the next morning. What the HELL is wrong with me? (oh, right, Toxichouse. where anywhere else is preferable).

Day 1967

WOW!

55 mph winds, blowing my ass all over the Verrazano; 51,000 people, amazing!!!!!

Once you started moving you were fine, and, thanks to my "you can learn a lot from a homeless guy" s.o.p., I was warm waiting.

What an accomplishment!

Made all the more amazing when you consider the shit I live in.

Remember Friday night???? Thinking the run was Saturday (get out much???), Bitch BLASTED music 'til 3 am in an effort to keep me awake, PISSED I'd actually had the balls to be there in the house I pay a mortgage on. Got psycho?

So, yes, I finished, yes I complete what I started, and yes, saw a lot of my friends (you know, peeps who actually DO something rather than feed off every intimate detail of another person???).

Day 1966

Brrr!

Today's the day. Downside: didn't see the cold coming. Earlier days had temps in the 60's. With wind chill, today will feel in the 20's @ the start. WOW! Naturally, this caught everyone with their pants down, so no one had Hot Hands in stock...except Walgreens! Yay! Found what I needed. Was so happy, got a snack for Psycho. Hey, everyone wins when there's good news!

Got my stuff, bus is rolling between 5-5:30, it's on!

Day 1965

Yin/Yang

All was going smoothly...until...UNTIL...

Went to The Expo. WOW! seeing the line to get in could make you wanna NOT do the run, but it's deceptive. Stupid long line (there ARE 50,000 peeps doing it), but it only took 30 minutes tops. Just very offputting.

On the way in, and through the expo, kept running into peeps, VERY nice. Though I DID miss the Paragon free lunch, that was always a highlight. Oh well.

Then...THEN...Shebitch struck! My brotherfromanothermother told me It was calling (It cannot internalize that I blocked It and Stoney's calls, they're passed to my peeps first.) So, It was calling, in typical psycho fashion, to tear me a new one about eating some stew. The SAME stew it said was ok for me to consume. The same stew it gave away to the neighbors. But for me to have some, It suddenly decided was wrong. Got psycho??????? Have some more sugar! THEN, blasts music well into the early morning, in an effort to keep me awake. Didn't work. Nice try. Tried to get me to leave, nice try. This from the same person who'd rather threw out a half dozen corn muffins, after they went moldy, rather than let me have even one. Hell, I only pay the mortgage. (can't WAIT 'til the fridge breaks).

Remember what's happening tomorrow, it's the only nutjob in the country who can't remember what day The Big One is. It thought it was today! Got psycho???? AND best of all, if it-and Stoney-weren't reading this, how would they know anything???? Got privacy???

But I need counseling......

And yes, the same tired bullshit. I need therapy since I'm addicted to internet porn. me and every male on the planet.

Perhaps if you fulfilled your spousal responsibilities, internet porn wouldn't be necessary???

...but I need counseling.................

(467 hits on the Youtube channel from last night's psychosis. Comments focus on: "what meds DIDN'T It take?"). and yes, every viewer wonders why they are so privacy challenged. Can't believe It teaches religion yet behaves as it does. Go Jeeeeeeeeeezus!!!!!!!!!