Day 1095

SELFISH???????

Toxichouse yesterday, Stoney being..well..a teenager. 2 days withuot a word exchanged between us. Good. Yesterday, with no milk in the fridge, Sybil strolls in with Chinese takeout. His Majesty comes down, grabs a plate, enters the living room, attempts to change the channel I was watching-so His Royal Highness could (ignoring the dining room table) eat and watch tv. I object, he indicates "you have the garage and the den......" Points out I take the remote and digital card for the bedroom tv. He proceeds to say I do this because I'm "selfish," I of course remind him I do so-and have BEEN doing so-because neither he nor his mother EVER made the bed. That they had used the bedroom as a lounge, and left it a total mess. Of course he translated this to "you just do that so she can't watch tv." Fucking asshole. And I thought he understood. Of course, dummy, I'M THE BAD GUY. How could I forget.

So, I'm "selfish." Just wait. Next Bank of Dad withdrawl will not occur. Fuck him. Disrespectful asshole.

So, this am, got what I needed elsewhere. Spin class was great. What a terrific way to start the day. And yes, I ALMOST went to the gym after last night's hurt. But no, can't let the asshole drive me from MY house.

Selfish.

Never mind that I stay in a toxic environment solely so there is a stable parental presence. Do I ignore him to go to the beach?????????? Oh yes, I forgot, I'M THE BAD GUY.

Selfish. Run a drug rehab for the poor, prez of my running club, only stable factor under that roof, but I'm SELFISH.

Asshole.