day 896

recovery?

Intended to run my usual, but.....my heart really wasn't into it.

STILL reeling from yesterday's poor performance. Actually rationalized it, saying to myself "for a 1/2, or a full, it was a good pace." But, taking 4 walk breaks, having dead legs to start, TOTALLY fucked me. Again, glad I did it, both the race AND looking out for brotherfromanothermother. But it hurts.

So, there I was this am, thinking of doing my 6.5, but also half thinking of bailing. Bad enough being sick, feeling low made it worse. BUT, nontheless, pressed on. Didn't help seeing Pret go off with another. Really made me feel used. When push comes to shove, human existence really IS one using another. Call it "love" call it "whatever," but it's ALL about being used in some way, shape, or form. Odd that I got texted when the opther peep was out of town. I don't blame 'em, compared to their pace, I trudge. But I DO press on, and I AM consistent.

So, after seeing them, and the long running (10-14 miles this am) Striders go off, i was ready to pack it in. But, fuck it, pressed on. Glad (of course) I did.

Fast Eddie passed me, each going the other way. Helluva guy. Was wearing yesterday's race shirt, said "I'm just finishing." GREAT sense of humor.

On the way back, passed the remaining Striders (usually how it works out, me in one direction, they in the other), then...THEN...Gillian. Thank GOD. A kindred spirit. Was feeling so down, God put the right person in the right place.

...getting home and screamed @ for using the wrong towel really didn't help matters...