day 919

starting to REALLY like global warming!

This time last year: over 35 inches of snow. This year, 3.5. I love this!

This am? Sweatshirt and shorts.....on the last day in January. GOTTA love this!

Also, a lesson in calm. Got a call from Stan yesterday re: (gasp) they changed the locks on The Parkhouse. I was given 4 phone numbers to call....much ado about nothing. Took a walk over this am, the guy gave me his key with which to make copies. No biggie. People DO get bent over nothing.

Got my miles, today is terrific!!!!!

day 918

good to be back

Really feel uncomfortable with weekends such as this past. Between the 10m race on Saturday being a bust, to the club dinner, really felt out of sorts.

Things on the home front were actually ok, until last night, of course, the other shoe was bound to drop, however, be nice if the timing was a bit better. Sybil finally lost it after behaving for the weekend.

BUT, this am, I ran, therefore, all is well.

***Highlight of the club dinner was getting a big hug from one of the Renegades. God bless 'em. In addition to seeing my green peeps, having the Renegades next door was way cool.

day 917

THAT didn't exactly work out, did it?

Headed out to the Sayville 10m yesterday, forgetting what a pain in the ass it is. A typical Long Island thing is: a)streets indicated by names b)not every street has a sign. So, directions can be iffy at best. Tried 3 times to get to the race location, got SO frustrated, went back to where I belong, Alley Pond. Glad I did. Saw my people, got my miles felt good. THAT Sayville race is off the grid.

Last night, the club party. And who had the room next door? The Renegades? Too funny. Actually set a record for quickest disappearing act. Think I stayed for as long as I did for the St.Gabriel's reunion.

Brotherfromanothermother called this am, bless him. He actually saw me driving away.

Not easy being me. Would've loved to hang, but I don't eat, don't drink, don't dance, don't socialize. Not really any reason for me to be there. But these ARE my people. Show me face, then exit.

day 916

busy day!

Had a nice Friday off, only one nuisance phone call from the idiot @ the job who has control issues. Not happy unless I get harassed at least once. Pest. and it's ALWAYS bullshit.

So, did the gym, hit a flick, then headed home. Stoney went out with his peeps, had the place to myself. Quiet. Peaceful. Wasn't summer, so the illegals in the back weren't blasting crap, ahhhhhhh. Actually took a nap.

Today, busy day. Sayville 10m, then our club party. Sucks that it's tonight, Derringer's @ Westbury, but I kinda sorta gotta go. $45 to eat some food and show my face, then leave. oh well. comes with the gig.

day 915

not cool

TRIED to lace 'em up, but to no avail. One of those days where you head out, so far so good...then...THEN...BOOM! The skies opened up. Was far too tempting to head out for a run, temps were GREAT. But, RAIN. Came down in friggin' buckets. So, off to the gym. Elliped. Good thing. Manana, 10m race, 2 x 5m loop-I HATE that, but, it's one of those "gotta do" races, if you live on Long Island.

day 914

YAY!!!!!

TGIF.

Made it through the week. Close one this am. Was snowing when I left, enough to make me think twice. Fortunately, I work in a different borough, so, thankfully, conditions were different here. Got my miles, felt good, great even!!!! Usually stop to use the port-a-bush, not this time. :)

Gotta love these temps as well. ALMOST did shorts this am, but no. Cold and knees don't mix.

day 913

on a roll, again!

Amazing how one day it's snowing/sleeting. The next, 50-ish.

This am? 40, I'll take it. Was on the fence re: shorts or not. Glad went with sweats. Cold sucks.

Ran into my before picture, helluva nice guy.

***and the other day (Saturday) as the rest of us were freezing our asses off, "guy in t-shirt and shorts" was out there. Shamed us all!!!

got my miles, feelin' good!!!

day 912

!!!!!

What a HELL of a morning! 45 degs, sweatshirt n' shorts. No gloves!!!! Can you beLIEVE this is January????? Especially after Sunday's dreck, this is most welcome!

Havta go to the Queens Borough President's State of the Borough speech this am, so "slept in," meaning, hit The Line @ 6:30. Was really nice, even ran into some of the usual suspects.

day 911

on a roll!!!


Since Friday, Sybil has actually been behaving. I'm shocked. (of course, in the process of arranging Its garbage from one pile to another, It came across mail from Red Light Violations, indicating It'd amassed over $1,000 in tickets).

Found Stoney's "pipe." Been wondering why, when he comes in from wherever, he races upstairs. Checked the usual spots, nothing under the mattress, nothing under the bed...finally in a jewelry box on his shelf...FOUND IT!!!! Ingenious lil' bastard. He was using his game controller. I stashed it, waiting for him to say something. He's been seriously in need of Midol since, so he knows something's up.

This am, was ready to gym it...but...BUT...NO RAIN!!!!! The front that was to have begun last night into this afternoon was stalled (will hit mid morning, then out by the evening). So, hit The Line. VERY glad I did! This is the weird season, snow, rain, slush, mud, ice. A tough time, thankfully only once a year. But it's apparently delayed. YAY!!!!!

Got my miles, life is good.

day 910

:) !!!!!!!

OK. Didn't expect ANYTHING this am, but, MUST be optimistic (especially since it's supposed to rain tonight through manana).

Was napping, waiting for "the feeling" to overtake me, when Elik came by. He makes me look normal (er). Quite the beast. We recognize how much each is like the other. He went out with his peeps 'round 7, I waited 'til 7:15-runner's low self-esteem.

Sho' 'nuf, The Line was good! Snow, packed in most spots, to the point that The Ninety Degree Hill was run-able. NICE! Actually got my miles in!

A good day!

Manana, ellip (rain, rain, rain. Drats). If only I could overcome this fear of back to back days off, I might be...what's that word...rested?????

day 909

odd, but good

Snow had been predicted for this am's 1/2. So, prepped for the worst. Had all my gear, found parking near the start (a miracle in nyc on a saturday), when...checked the crackberry, to see the NYRR website. Due to the weather, they made it an instant Q, merely for registering. Good for brotherfromanothermother (he called, told me he was bailing), not bad for me. All pressure was off. So, did it anyway. Did well for a run in shit conditions, and, since I was already there, went to the West side Y after for a spin class. Made for a great cooldown.

good thing I checked the website. :)

day 908

well done people!

Made it through the week. Adapted to poor conditions, meteorologically, and still did well.

AND, this am's snow was a no show! THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Will hit the Line-nice EASY run, then await tomorrow's crap. You KNOW something's up when the NYRR site tells you to dress for snow etc...

Hey, I got my miles, life is good.

-thanks for coming along for the ride. Having a shit home life, followed by the undercurrent of anxiety re: am I (or am I not) being permanently appointed Director????? Fuck it, press on kiddies!!!

day 907

Brrrrrrr!

Friggin' COLD, but, did it!

Again, WAS tempted to stay under the covers (n' when you got no heat, I'm talkin' UNDER the covers), but no. No wind, temp was 20-ish, so...... hadda hit the asphalt. Glad I did. Didn't feel too bad to start, but when you gotta pee, body parts take some time to reheat.

After the turnaround, 2 usual suspects asked if I was doing the Manhattan Half, bless 'em, they'll be there. IF it doesn't snow. (1 inch predicted, could wreak havoc with Central Park).

My before picture was out there, bless him too!!!!! Said what we all know "you're only cold if you stay still. Keep moving and you keep warm...unless of course you gotta pee.

day 906

:)

47 degs, no precip, I'M BAAAAACK!!!!! DAMN it felt good!

When I started, my peep told me the hardest part was getting out the door, he was right of course. Was severely tempted to sleep in, but no. After (in my mind) taking 2 days off, when in reality I hit the gym n' elliped, hadda lace 'em up. How often do you, in mid January, have the ability to run IN SHORTS????? Wow. What a great morning. Not taking chances, I DID wear gloves and a knit hat (really picked the wrong time to have my haircut, but we can't control hair growth can we?). Really lovely. And yes, the usual suspects were out. Nice.

Saturday's the Manhattan 1/2. Precip predicted. Dunno 'bout this one. HATE running in rain. Hopefully, it'll snow.

day 905

GRRRRRR!

Peaceful night @ Toxichouse, of course: Stoney needed First Bank of Dad. Of course, Sybil was tapped out. When is this NOT the case??? Yet, always has $ for crap. So, he was given enough to hang with his peeps, but not enough to do damage.

So, why the gnashing of teeth? Raining this am, now, SUN. GODDAMNIT!!! BUT, got my gym on, did the ellip. At least the day isn't a TOTAL loss. Actually felt good.

Temps better, mid 30's. Enough of this winter shit.

***Gov gives his budget address today. One of the benefits of my gig is the ability to address what needs to be addressed. I.E. with iur previous Director, there was drama. He liked drama. I don't. For obvious reasons-got plenty of drama, don't need more, thank you. One big rumor which rears its ugly head whenever there's budgetspeak: our agency merging with another. WHO CARES???? 1)ain't gonna happen. 2)IF it did, there would be zero impact either on staff or patients. In fact, it could only help: rather than being treated as the orphan/stepchild, support services from our landlord would necessarily improve. So, let the lemonsuckers cause drama, or try to. When you're in the groove, you're teflon.

day 904

RATS!!!!

Too damned cold to run, I'm talkin' 15 degs. Screw that. Did the gym, elliped. Funny, they're ALREADY starting to slack off. Plenty of machines, no waiting. So much for resolutions.

REALLY needed a run today, but.....Last night: HELL. It was truly losing Its mind. Usual rage resulting from fatigue/financial woes. Sucks for It. I.E. I actually had the GALL to use Its coffee. It actually (no joke) drew a line marking the level of coffee. BOY do I have a pair!!! AND where was it located? In a bag beside the couch. Imagine hiding coffee????? AND, It raged indicating I owed It $$$ for use of items. Of course, I explained It needs to pay me for the use of my house/cable/electricity. Really. Imagine????? So much for "family."

But wait...there's more:

actually got PISSED I didn't give Stoney $$$$$ to hang wth his friends. I, of course, explained HE needs to either pay for the property he saw fit to damage, or sincerely apologize. Imagine, holding a person responsible for their actions????? Instead, It backed him up. Lesson learned: it's ok to disrespect your father AND damage his property. (It, turns out, got stuck holding the bag, i.e. when he didn't get $$$ from me, It gave him movie $$$). So, It claimed I hadda reimburse It. FUCK HER. Later, he comes to me "mom said I needed to apologize." Nice. Real sincere.

...and yes, the house is FREEZING. (oh, that's my problem too).

So, where was It yesterday? Working? No. Hanging with friends. Great parenting. Son @ home, alone, no food. You're with your people. THEN has the balls to critique ME????

day 903

"mom told me to ask you for $10 so I can hang out with my friends."

How do YOU explain "triangulation." Obviously he hit on It, It deflected to me. Fat fucking chance. The balls on that kid. Hasn't AT ALL internalized his transgressions.

So, this am? RAN. FREEZING cold, I'm talkin' frozen sperm cold (15 degs), but, ran damnit.

And worst of all, it felt good!!!!!!!

I'm ok, today I ran. Hurting, deeply affected, would LOVE for my son to have the same level of respect for me he has for his X-Box, but, it is what it is.

Today, I ran (frozen, but I did what I set out to do).

...and no, we have no heat in Toxichouse. How do we keep from going hypothermic? Electric heaters (remember kiddies, It paid the oil bill, I PAY the electric. Amazing. Utterly amazing).

day 902

so far, so what

Made it through another day in the d.m.z. It, supporting Stoney's dysfunction. Of course, this way, It gets to be Good Cop. THAT, in itself isn't the problem, what IS the problem: one person attempts parenting, only to have his every effort undermined. Would YOU have EVER imagined addressing a parent as he does me? Or, worse yet, purposely destroying personal property. Unfortunately, even here, I have to take the high road, i.e.: It starts with Its "where does he get THAT from" bullshit. Let that sink in. It threw my guitars and computer to the ground, he launches my filing cabinet. Hmmmmm. And they think I'm printing money for college. Let's try basic respect.

BUT, yesterday, I ran. Today I will run. Life IS good. In spite of.....

On the plus side, 28 degs in January, STILL no snow. I'll take it! :)

Pray for me, I'm trying hard.

day 901

(can you believe it's been this long???)

So, yesterday, War of the Roses continues.

Stoney, acting like he's actually gonna intimidate me (feeling our oats are we???) actually tries getting physical. Told him I'd not hesitate to call 911. He backed off. Can you imagine? What the FUCK possesses him? We know he gets the mental from Shebitch, the stubborn from me. But this is intolerable.

This fight was over lunch money. Told him I'd buy him a loaf of bread.

Spoiled fuck.

And, better STILL, Shebitch gave him lunch money yesterday, THEN has the tits to tell me I owe It $5. Right.

Rain ending, today I run. Thank you GOD!!!!!

(yesterday, did the ellip. NO days off for me kiddies).

day 900

what to do, what to do???

Caught betwixt n' between. After yesterday evening's blowout, this am? RAIN!!! Is this is good, is this bad? Neither, it is. So, use this as a recovery day or...?

REALLY need to work the ol' demons out, so, off to the gym (thank you GOD for options). Taking a day off is NOT one of them. NEED this.

day 899

teenagers?

Come home yesterday, Stoney turns into instant asshole. Then has the balls to ask for $$$. Can you imagine. Allow me to explain:

I asked a question, feigning interest in what he was doing. MAJOR error. In his head, that was an interrogation. The exact question was, following his receipt of a phone call "what's up?" Can you imagine???? Of course, he THEN has the balls to hit on First Bank of Dad. I ignored him. He comes home, throws my filing cabinet to the ground.

Wait, it gets better:

Shebitch piles on. Yes kiddies. Of course, this comes as a GREAT excuse to pile on Satan.

So good to come home.

Today I ran. Life is good.

day 898

32 is the new 45

(degrees)

Without wind, 32 actually felt good! WAS tempted to go with shorts, but no. Stuck with longs + sweatshirt. Amazing what an effect wind has! ZERO wind this am, really felt good to be out! Also, the Omega 3 I added to my am pill regimen appears to be working. Knees def feeling better!

And, surprise surprise, Stoney actually went to the gym-after 3 weeks of nothing. Amazing. All it took was peer pressure-a peep texted him. I was THRILLED!

day 897

better, MUCH better!

Dunno if I'm rationalizing or thinking it out, but, my time on Saturday's 10k didn't TOTALLY suck.

I use these as training runs (I treat EVERYTHING as a training run), so, theoretically, your training pace should be a minute or so slower than race pace. With that in mind, I did ok.

I WAS wiped out. Between boogying off to the NYRR to get the bib, to suffering through a cold, I made it and didn't bail. Not TOO shabby.

Brotherfromanothermother similarly was off pace. Almost a minute slower than usual.

So, it wasn't JUST me. Ok. I feel better.

(and the killer: do 6-7 miles every friggin' morning, I should be able to handle a 10k easily.) Oh well. At least I got my first marathon Q in for 2013.

This am, 32 degs, cold (er). We were spoiled from the weekend. Sweatshirt and longs, obviously gloves. Didn't even take a pee break-I dared not. Hadda prove I could jump back on the horse.

day 896

recovery?

Intended to run my usual, but.....my heart really wasn't into it.

STILL reeling from yesterday's poor performance. Actually rationalized it, saying to myself "for a 1/2, or a full, it was a good pace." But, taking 4 walk breaks, having dead legs to start, TOTALLY fucked me. Again, glad I did it, both the race AND looking out for brotherfromanothermother. But it hurts.

So, there I was this am, thinking of doing my 6.5, but also half thinking of bailing. Bad enough being sick, feeling low made it worse. BUT, nontheless, pressed on. Didn't help seeing Pret go off with another. Really made me feel used. When push comes to shove, human existence really IS one using another. Call it "love" call it "whatever," but it's ALL about being used in some way, shape, or form. Odd that I got texted when the opther peep was out of town. I don't blame 'em, compared to their pace, I trudge. But I DO press on, and I AM consistent.

So, after seeing them, and the long running (10-14 miles this am) Striders go off, i was ready to pack it in. But, fuck it, pressed on. Glad (of course) I did.

Fast Eddie passed me, each going the other way. Helluva guy. Was wearing yesterday's race shirt, said "I'm just finishing." GREAT sense of humor.

On the way back, passed the remaining Striders (usually how it works out, me in one direction, they in the other), then...THEN...Gillian. Thank GOD. A kindred spirit. Was feeling so down, God put the right person in the right place.

...getting home and screamed @ for using the wrong towel really didn't help matters...

day 895

You're welcome!

Had it been anyone else, would'a blown 'em off, but for brotherfromanothermother, couldn't.

This am's 10k was odd. usually day of race number pickup is near the start. Not today. You hadda go to the NYRR HQ to get your bib, THEN to the start for your shirt. Made no sense. Fortunately, I was there at a ridiculous hour, so I and countless other runners made the journey. 15 blocks to, 15 blocks back. Added 2+ miles to my run. And why? Brotherfromanothermother was running late. He pulled a 12 hour shift, barely made it to the race on time, so I went to hook him up. MAJOR mistake on my part. KILLED my race time, started the run with tired legs. BUT, that's what we do.

DID make a new friend on the way to NYRR. She had a 10-11 minute pace. Helped perspectivize everything.

I figured brotherfromanothermother would be first, me in the middle, Fast Eddie in the rear. Thanks to looking out for my bro, Fast Eddie passed the SHIT outta me. I was totally disheartened. Couldn't even look up my results. But hey, I finished.

Got home, Bitch RAGING that I (prepare yourself, call a lawyer) used the WRONG TOWEL when I showered. Can you imagine. Some pair of balls eh??? And you think I exaggerate?????

THEN, after leaving It's son alone all day, goes off for the evening to a "birthday dinner." Remember, Bitch's birthday was 2 months ago.

Amazing.

But, today I ran. Life is good.

day 894

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ok, had the first Board/membership meeting of the year. THAT went well. Left during the speaker, got home at a reasonable hour. But, this Thursday crap gotta end. I can't do this. ANY day but Thursday.

This am felt warm by comparison. Almost wore shorts, but, let's don't get sick(er).

Got my miles, get through today, then, manana's 10k. First race of the year.

day 893

better

(not quite THERE yet, but better)

Surprised actually. SHOULD have triple pneumonia. Already have a cold, entering a place without heat. Tough 24 hours. But, made it through! AND, ghetto heater-the oven-of course doesn't work either. Exacerbating everything: Shebitch FINALLY does the dishes (yin) BUT puts them back in the cabinet wet (yang), not very good for wood. I really AM living with a fucking child.

But, BUT, got my miles in today. Felt better than yesterday. Can't quite call this a 24 hour bug, but at least with meds it doesn't leave me wrung out and useless. Nice to, at least, be able to function without feeling like my ass is draggin'.

Strider meeting tonight. last one for Thursdays. I can't do this Thursday thing anymore. Tuesdays from now on.

day 892

:(

This is getting to be a drag.

As though living, well sleeping actually, in a place lacking heat didn't suck enough, having a cold just magnifies everything. Taking meds, doing what I need to, but still not giving in.

Was WAY too cold this am for a run-teens with single digit wind chills. So, contemplated taking a day off, but, THAT would signify giving in. Can't do that. So, compromised-went to the gym. Hit the ellip, then sauna, then off to the job.

Hey, better than nothing.

day 891

yecccccch!

Got The Bug, feel like SHIT...but...BUT...got my miles!!!!!

Took my meds, all they really do is enable you to carry on. The cold will run its course, but not possess your every waking moment.

Good thing too, it's FREEZING! After enjoying warmer temps, it was 32, felt like upper 20's. Manana: teens. Jeez.

But, did it, did ok.

Applied for The Big One. $200+ this year (nypd now charges a fee for their services). Still worth every penny.

day 890

GRRRRRR!!!!!

Friggin' people don't value their jobs!!!

Woke up feeling like shit, couldn't swallow (don't go there). Tried, succeeded, knew I was getting sick, but, press on!!!

Stoney hits up First Bank of Dad, told him if he came in reeking of smoke he'd be cut off. Only time he spoke to me in 24 hours, to ask for $$$. You can tell Shebitch claimed poverty (after purchasing gifts for one and all).

Get to the job, friggin staff banged in! This is the same person who is a half time employee, WAY too needy, actually showed up for work yesterday, only to submit a time off request! THEN call in for today!!!!! Does this person not realize taxpayers are paying for their ineptitude?????? If you don't value the gig, QUIT!

So, thankfully, got my miles in today. :) Feel better, but can't tolerate this abusive behavior.

day 889

Happy New Year!!!!!

Last night: WONDERFUL!!!!! Warm (45 degs), got there @ 10-ish, got my 2012 foam headgear, went back to the Y, dropped it off, headed back. For SOME reason, I always think of it as a 5m run. Nope, 4m. Good. Did well. Always think the same : "don't walk any part of any race this year." Until reality sets in. But, no matter. had a BLAST!!!!! Everyone's your friends, loads of tourists cheering you on, everyone wishing everyone else all the best. As DeNiro said in the flick "There's nothing like NY on New Year's Eve." And, my runners miracle: bumped into Sue n' Vince. Usually they attend a concert on new years, this time, they volunteered. Of 10,000 people, I bump into them. Truly, wherever runners are, I have friends. Also bumped into a cutie Asian babe, met her @ number pickup, we made plans to meet up that night. What a GREAT night! Thanks God. Thanks NY!

Then, up typically early (after going to sleep @ 2:30, up @ 5:10), to head to Alley Pond. Completing the new year's cycle.

Actually restrained myself enough to run with the club. Felt good. After doing the midnight thing, didn't think I'd have anything left in the tank-I was wrong. Did my St.Francis and did ok. started off with the fast(er) runners, then took a leak, then did my mid pack. This meant I was alone. Everyone was either faster or slower. Sucked for them. On the way back, cooled off with Helen and Pret. A GREAT day!!!!!

Back to Toxichouse, Stoney sleeping (where he currently lies in state, on the couch, 6 hours later), It with Its clothes, literally, everywhere. As in: covering every square inch of exposed surface. Its car? Nowhere to be found (broken down, needing $600 of repairs, good), meanwhile, It going to a party. Not a word of motivation to Stoney. Niot a morsel of food in the house. A McDonald's bag in the trash.

So good to be "home," NOT.



***Pic below!