just what the doctor...

ok, coming off a bad week-well, not bad but emotionally draining, got yet ANOTHER sign that G's there-grab an atheist.

Got another Facebook hit, former student whose balls I broke. She noted that I was always tough on her but she knew why. Wow. Someone got "it." She's successful now. Isn't it nice to know you made a dif? and that's only one of the positive hits I got from my former students. Goes to show, give it your best and.....

Speaking of which, should'a taken today off, but Pret was on The Line so....also hadda keep up my streak. Consecutive days.

check, doublecheck!!!

made it to the end. And how fitting. Tonight it rains!!! PURRRRRRfect.

Made it through a week of St.Francis. Manana, same. Gotta, Sun's s'posed to be shit weather-5k race day, so get the miles in while I can.

We did it peeps. Made it through an emotionally draining week. Feel like I should'a collapsed when I left the job. Really spent-and not in a good way.

bonus time

anything run after a week is a bonus.

This makes 7+ days of St.Francis, one day "speed" (2 mins fast, 2 mins recovery), one day leisure/build a base. Manana warm temps. Yummmmm.

Really needed it. When the going got tough, G was there. With the MATC closure, it's like le petit mort-not orgasm but baby death. Another part of my past poof! Really feel like I had my puberty there. My AA anniv is 4-3, a month or so away, it'll be 24 years. MATC was my first "career," rather than "job." Teaching was really a filler, though thank G the kids never knew it. With Marcy retired, there's really nothing left there for me. Sad but true. So it goes. AND...funny note, what was in her car as a gift? Cheesecake. Sweet. But couldn't accept. Don't do c'cake no mo'.

Got to the job after my run, still down from the grieving process, e mail from Pret sent yesterday @ 2:30. J.W.T.D.O. Life IS good. Just gotta remember: it's what you make it.

.....I'm looking for a lifeline.......

THAT hurt

the good news: had a helluva dinner

the bad news: the reason for it.

One of my peeps retired, a result of the budget crunch. We had dinner-that was the good part. See, the staff @ MATC gave up without a whimper, pussies. She and I kept the place open in the Pataki strife of '95. Now, people care solely for themselves and care nothing for treatment. Fuck 'em. Sucks for them. No balls. So, HELLUVA dinner, the kind for which you run. Barbecue squid as an appy, then filet mignon with gorgonzola. YUMMM. Then off to Rettmers to do the race apps. Like living a lifetime in one day. Yin/yang.

St.Francis this am, did it as a speed run-2 mins on, 2 minutes recovery.

no more wind!!!

another windy morning, as in: howling. NOT fun, lost my good gloves too, damn.

St.Francis yet again. Really on a roll here. Now that this is feeling like my daily run (ya think???) might be time to go to The Carpet. Not yet, but in the "mulling" stage.

Manana busy day. Stick a fork in MATC, dinner with the remaining staff, then, off to do the race meeting.

Thank G for marathons, after doing them, these days are easy (er).

It was supposed to get its passport, of course THAT didn't happen. Shipwreck.

up up and?

away? OK, the week's begun, COLD. St.Francis esta manana, HOWLING winds. Almost hadda call into play my single digit rule, but no, was doubles. Wind WAS unfrigginbelieveable.


Re: where It and Keith are going: they leave Easter morning, come back that sat. 6 Days. YAYYYY!!!!!

Freedom IS good

...though a heavy responsibility, it IS good.

Was SUPPOSED to do the Cherry Tree 10m today, but didn't.

Did the 5k yesterday as a warm up, but when I saw they maxed out re: t-shirts @ 400, I decided to skip it.

a)why drive all the way to Brooklyn when my $ won't get me a fucking shirt?
b)rather than endure the pain of Prospect Park x 3, 3 laps that is, fuck that. Junk miles are useless. After doing the 5k yesyerday, back to The Line and get quality miles.

Glad I did. Needed my peeps-really missed being with them yesterday. Feel re-centered.


***this post was # 365. Do I get a cake?

glass is half full

did the Prospect Park 5k. Did shit time wise, but it IS Prospect Park, AND it IS another Q under my belt. REALLY wished I'd been @ Bethpage for the 3 x 2's, my soul is really there. But, no, gotta do what I gotta do.

Fortunately, my proxy was there. Tom made it, and they did VERY well without me. He was on the team I was scheduled to be on-with Rob and Vince. Now think, what would've been wrong with my being there instead of Tom? Exactly. He belonged there. And, bless him, he called @ 7:30 to wish me luck on my run. What a guy.

Should've gone to Stop n' Shop, but by the time I got the call, was pulling in to Toxichouse. DAMN.

Might do the Cherry Tree manana, or do The Line. Depends on the weather. ALMOST spent the night in Brooklyn, but figured hey, I pay the fucking mortgage.

...goin' down the only road I've ever known.......

pat on my back

props to me! (whoa!!! an attack of self esteem there)

Completed a full week of St.Francis. Knees a bit sore, but made a committment and stuck to it. AND, for once, a week without rain fucking everything up/forcing a rest day. NICE.

Now, if only I could be in two places @ once. Manana, the 3 x 2's, WRONG!!! Can't be there. DAMN. REALLY wanna, but gotta do the Prospect Park run. Get those Q's in.

...Speaking of which: guess what happened yesterday? Give up? ONLINE REG FOR THE BIG ONE!!! Yipeeeeeee!!! Got home, psyched, logged on and....DENIED! Now you must use your user name. Howthefuck am I supposed to remember that since last year. So, they send it to your e mail (work, ugh) and then try again. So I hadda wait 'til today. Done. Regged for '09. Cool!!!!!

***Note: Today, Manhattan Addiction Treatment Center transferred it's last patient. This is the facility I started at, was there from 1990-96, where I cut my teeth. When no one else would hire me, the state had a gig for me. Started as a grade 11-entry level-went to the top in 6 years. Where in 1995 the gang of 3-me and 2 peeps, one of which you see in the pix below-fought to keep the place open in THAT year's budget strife. Now, the staff have no balls, no fight. And of course I'm not there to motivate. In each eval since I was a kid I was told I have a "presence," or have "leadership potential," but y'know, peeps gotta handle bidness they own damn sef's. Pity. Sucks for them. Another part of my past, gone. So it goes. If THAT hadn't happened, I wouldn't have ended up @ CATC, no YMCA, no Wednesday night spin, no Pret, no salvation-you know who you are, no Alley Pond. Wow.

Keith had off this week, did It do ANYTHING with him, no. Sad.

tgit

One more day. If I can pull this off, I'll have St.Francis x 5. Dunno exactly what I'm doing dif, but feeling good.

More Facebook hits. The peeps have indeed been busy. Good thing. Been affected by two news tidbits: Paul Simon is 67, and, Shea Stadium is totally demolished. Can't believe Simon's THAT old. Shea, I can believe, nothing's forever, but still feel the loss.

Gettin' old (er).

we're not getting older, we're getting______?

today another part of my past is gone forever. Shea Stadium's last part was demolished @ 11:30. Ouch. I'll never forget walking to the stadium 'cause we didn't have $$$ to take the train AND see a game, it was one or the other, and now, with running, I can't believe it seemed so far. Wow. Cub Scouts trips to the stadium, The Cubs, Pirates, Giants, Expos (remember THEM???). Taking Keith, doing the Run to Home Plate. The new place is gorgeous, but the prices are fucking insane. So it goes...

St.Francis this am. Felt good again, y'know how they say you may reach a plateau but keep at it? I think I'm @ that point. Hit the wall re: progress some time ago, but my strength is improving.

N' if it's all in my head, why not. I feel great. THAT'S what it's all about n'est pas?


***Paul Simon is 67!!! SHIT!

here we go again!!!

wanted to take this am off, but no, hadda feed the emotional soul. Last night Shebitch sends Keith upstairs to do It's bidding-ask me to make myself available tonight to go as a parent to sign for his passport. I told him not to get stuck in the middle, to tell his mom to speak for Itself. It came upstairs, said my signature was needed, I told It It hadda call for an appointment-It thought you just went and waited on line. Lo and behold, tonight is here, It is @ work, Keith @ his brotherfromanothermother. Good thing I didn't go outta my way. Told you to pray for me.

So, did St.Francis. Time is improving, but that's not the point-you know that.

***Best of all: creditors calling, It's dropping the ball re: It's bills...again. Yes, I love it. These are the things I call to mind when It's been out all day caring for a sick acquaintance, yet Keith is left home alone, having eaten chips and cereal. Yes, It professes It's love for It's son, yet cares more for everyone else. Pathetic.

Again, for the world to know, thank G for my peeps. Each and every one has accomplished amazing things. NOT blaming others for their lots in life, but grabbing that brass ring, each in their own way. They don't know it, but that's precisely what makes them amazing peeps.

3-pete!

Nice way to note a long weekend. St.Francis x 3. Not the way I planned it, but, how many things go according to plan?

After St.Francis, 1 1/2 hr ellip-gotta build the endurance!!!

Knees feel ok, a bit sore, but, life is sore/running easier.

2 out of 3 ain't bad/life according to plan B

ok, if the glass is half empty: planned to do the 5k in Prospect Park today as a practice for next week's NYRR 5k. Made it to Prospect Park w/o a prob, didn't get lost, BQE was easy. THAT was the good part. Downhill from there. Never found race sign up-the K of C is apparently a well kept secret. So, later for this bullshit, cut my losses, headed back to The Parkhouse, where I belonged. Yes, Virginia, this is 2 weeks in a row where I headed back to The Line. Glad I did.

if the glass is half full: Did St.Francis, nice crowd of the peeps. Filled my soul. STILL feeling really down about the Aruba shit-Shebitch trying to pick a fight to justify it-my wishing Keith and It a pleasant trip. NOT feeding into it. Of course, It throws in my face my marathon trips-@ which point I indicate I did them @ the height of It's manicness/mentality. NOT feeding into the disease.

So, how did my soul get nourished? a)Tom called yesterday. Really helped to know he's there. Guys are like that. A nod, a grunt, n' we're cool.
b)one of my main peeps asked how I was doing. As in, really wanted to know. Magic, pure magic. Actually felt as though someone cared. I have great peeps.
c)GREAT post-run convo. I associate with some cool peeps. Thanks guys. Didn't even know it, but you were there for me. I needed it.

ouch!!!

Valentine's Day. THIS one hurts, but, life goes on. Got Keith a card for Shebitch, that's about it.

Y'all already know the rap about a commercialized/manufactured day for profiteering, but it STILL is a day to show your love to your chosen. So yes, I got something for me. Aruba, grrrrrrrr!

St.Francis this am, felt really good. Saw the peeps, remarked to nearly every one:"It doesn't get any better than this." PERFECT running weather. Yummmmm.

tgif

day off, 4 day weekend. Day to rest and repair.

STILL not over the Aruba crap, it's ok. Let sick people be sick. Doesn't really matter in the big picture.

Spin for 1 1/2 hrs esta manana, then out to do some shopping.

GREAT weather for running, but hadda take a day off. Was actually fighting with myself-thinking: St.Francis x 7. Now THAT'S a great week, but knees would suffer and performance as well. Do you need quantity or quality?

Almost over the hurt. One thing for sure, I will do nothing other than for myself.
When it was time to go to Disney, did I go alone? G is watching, G knows. 'nuff said.
All this Shebitch bullshit is balances by the "kids," I used to teach. The contacts through this facebook thing are amazing. Bless Debbie for getting the ball rolling, it's now got a life of its own. The reunion is set for June. What joined them all together was the shared experience in school. They claim I affected them, they've no idea their effect on me.

Funny, I wanted to be a priest, then was split between that and social worker. Things just worked out n'est pas?

Now...if Shebitch would only be kind enough to die, hey, I can dream.

Please pray for me. It's hard sometimes.

You cannot write stuff this good

Shebitch pissing n' moaning about needing a vacation. From what you ask? Exactly. I come home, messages on the answering machine Liberty Travel. Turns out, It's planning a trip to Aruba. Really nice. Plans on taking Keith, good for him, he'll love it.

Talk about a set up.

pray for me.

It's A Wonderful Life!!!

It really is! 6 more hits on Facebook from the ICS students. Can't get over they were Keith's age when I taught them. Between them and the St.Gabriel's peeps, I'm quite taken with the effect a Catholic education had on us. Really bonded. One actually wrote that I inspired her to go for her brass ring-she's in grad school now. Nice to know you made a dif (either that or she's very gullible, gotta play devil's advocate).

St.Francis esta manana. Again, was tempted to go shirtless, but no-reg sweatshirt and shorts, no gloves. Nice.

Tomorrow, rain predicted. Starting tonight thru tomorrow am.

life IS good

yin/yang. Point/counterpoint. Glass half full/empty.

Valentine's Day coming up, can't enjoy it as I'd choose, so, G to the rescue!!! I'm getting Facebooked up the yin-yang.

The "kids" I taught are looking me up, unbelievable. 20 fucking years (1989) and these people are contacting me. How delightful is that??? While Shebitch opens all of my mail (that which I DO eventually get) and the rest of the time drags me through the mud, others seem to have found something good in there. Thanks G! (either that or I AM in fact Satan, and I CAN fool all of the people all of the time, doubt it). All my life I lived under the tenet of: leave every environment better than you found it, and I was particularly sensitive to that as a teacher. I wanted to be the kind of teach my teachers would've been proud of.

St.Francis esta manana. BEAUTIFUL weather. Manana, shorts!!!

Really getting that Jimmy Stewart feeling, you don't set out to feed your ego, you do it to affect people and help them set their own paths, but damn it feels good to know you did something right.

back on track

after the "life according to plan b, c, d" weekend, back on track.

St.Francis esta manana, mostly clear-except sheet of ice near softball field. Felt good, temps WONDERFUL.

STILL wish I'd done the Bronx 1/2, but weighed against the aggro, was a no brainer. Really content with my choices (freedom IS a good thing). REALLY proud of the peeps, not one over 2 hours. Nice job.

Spike be illin'. This has been goin' on for a couple-a days. Gotta give him props. He was home sick from school on Friday. Saturday I asked if he was still up for the trip to the meanwickeduglycity, he said yes. THAT'S the spirit. Unfortunately, I think it did him in. He was sick, has NO resistance (resistance comes from diet and exercise-closest he gets to those is the spelling thereof). We live, we learn.

***Just got an e mail, one of my students from 1979 (ouch!!!) Facebooked me. Though you just try to do your thing, you DO touch many lives don't'cha?


...she had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes...............

SHIT!!!

ok, get outta the house on time, head to the boogiedownBronx.

BIG prob: NO parking @ Lehman. Ok, so far so good, it's Sunday. How bad can it be?

Well..know that bad Maine joke; "you can't get there from here?" THAT was today. Can't park @ Lehman, can't park on the streets, NYPD had signs up everywhere. FINALLY found a spot, WRONG It was in a busstop. FUCK that. Turned around, stopped to give my chip to some runners to return for me, and headed to The Line. Glad I did.

STILL a bit annoyed that people doubted my time @ the Manhattan half, so my heart wasn't in this one, AND Dave the superjew was stalking me for a lift (voicemail, AND e mail on personal and work accounts-and the fucking guy HAS A CAR!!!). THAT and parkingfromhell made for a very unpleasant morning. Did I need this shit? No. So, later for that. The Wearers of The Green did very well, all under 2 hours, props! But, glad I did my line. I was where I belonged.

AND, my schedule isn't off. Had I done the half, manana'd be an off day. Now I can resume where I left off. Good for the head.


***latest comments from Shebitch: (on the phone with It's groupie) "I really need a vacation." Said with a straight face. Tough life. Sleep till noon, bitch til 3, work 4 days.

I daily thank G for the people in my life. Each and every one has done things most cannot fathom. Pity I married the one human made of spare parts. Thank G for Keith.

life according to plan b, c, d?

ok. No run this am, go into the wicked, mean, ugly city with Keith. Our sights set on this snowboarding/extreme snow bullshit @ East River Park. Woke up, got the 9:16 to Penn, #1 to Houston st. WRONG!!! THAT was WEST Houston, we needed EAST. Now, remember, Keith weighs 154. NEVER have I seen a kid move that slowly without standing still. But, still great to be with him. LOTS of people going in our direction, why? The magic words" "free." So, off we were. (on the LIRR, people headed to Comiccon. I thought about it, but didn't think it compared to this, WRONG again.).

So, after walking too far, we made it. SUCKED. One high ramp-for the pros-the public hadda wait on a stupid long line to sign waivers and get wrist bands, which entitled us to a choice of areas-ours and most people chose tubing. WRONG again. Stupid long line, then another for tubing down a hill a 3 year old was tackling. We were outta there.

So, plan B, movie, then possibly skating in Bryant Park. Just made the 12:30 flick, Coraline in 3d, good flick. Then off to Bryant Park, SHIT!!! No skating-Fashion Week. SHIT!!! We hit THE comic book store on 7th ave-world famous-then off to Penn.
So @ this point Keith had his fill of walking, was tired, home we went, just made the 3:16 train.

If I hadda do it all over again? I'd do exactly the same. How were we to know the snow thing was fitting 5 lbs of shit in a 3 lb bag? TOO many people, not enough happening. Lots to be said for having tricks up your sleeves. Yet, as I told Keith, we couldn't lose. Had each other as company, + 2 guys in NYC with $$$-how could you go wrong? AND home in time to rest for manana. Warm running temps here we come!!!

(I KNEW I should'a got Comiccon tix, DAMN!!!).

Was it fun, of course. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

-though it IS a howl/embarassing (I'm allowed ambivalence!!) to hear Keith tell his friends on the phone "hey, I walked 16 blocks today." WOW a whole 16 blocks!!!???


***more pix added @ bottom.

done!!!

wrapped up the week with a spin class, then 60 mins on the ellip. No running this am. Wanna save it for Sunday's 1/2.

Nice day planned Sat, take Keith to this snow exhibition @ East River park. Figures he's home from school sick today. Feels better, thank G.

juuuust this close!!!

the finish line's in sight, last 200m of the week.

St.Francis yesterday again. Nice. VERY nice. The plowing worked like a charm, icy areas were covered in snow, traction again good. Only problem area: around the softball fields, oh well. And even THAT was covered in fluffy snow, kind'a pretty. Made for, again, achy quads, but if it didn't hurt...


Bored meeting yesterday, then membership. Set a record, only time in history the bored meeting lasted longer than the membership meeting-45 mins to 20. YES!!!

close, real close

just beat the snow! Last night, 1-3 inches, no rain fortunately.

This am, the plows were OUT!!! N' I mean OUT! Great thing. Again, big ups to NYC Parks. They had a plow ON THE LINE. Wow. When I asked que paso con esto, me dice que they do it due to the heavy use of The Line. Need I say more. REALLY cool. Imagine, pre-freakin' dawn, @ the hour I'm out there, they've already made 2 passes. Nice.

So, made for a gorgeous run! GREAT for the knees. Snow was fluffy where unplowed. Great for the running shoes as well. It was cold enough that nothing melted. ESP great for the iced over patches, actually got some...what's that word...oh yes, TRACTION. And how beautiful to again be the first set of footprints. On the way TO St.Francis a fellow maniac came FROM the direction of St.Francis, @ almost the same time we uttered to one another "that's dedication," and we laughed @ the timing. How cool.

Couple of more notes from facebook. Turns out one of my grade school peeps is also into guitars-Takamine's, but what the hell. Good taste is good taste regardless of the path it takes. Funny though, they all got fat, and I mean all. The guitar peep (you can tell there's a vibe there) also did a couple of marathons. Coincidence??? I think not.


.....then I saw her face...I'm a believer!

whew!!!

St.Francis esta manana. Didn't think I'd make it. Predicted rain, then snow. Fortunately, it all held off.

Now, serious snow.

If it keeps up, tomorrow'll be GORGEOUS, if not, ice ice baby!!!

STILL riffin' off the dance. Wow.

***and you KNOW you're wondering: Shebitch behaving. It's taking it's Seroquel. Google it n' you'll see It's diagnosis.


.....is dancing with me....cheek to cheek...there's nobody here, it's just you n' me.

STILL coming down

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!

The dance STILL has warm memories. REALLY got teary there. What pure joy. God bless us, what a group. Not too proud of too many things, but knowing this bunch is def one of them. Reaffirmed my beliefs, those that are left.

Shebitch out working, so It can afford to go out to dinner with Spike manana. Am I the only one noting the irony there? Think for a moment. How does It earn $, and for what purpose is it being earned? Is this a bad joke about the circle of life?

Got my St.Francis on. Serious sheets of serious ice in key areas, but generally clear. Esta noche rain, then snow, SHIT! Here we go again!!! Gots'ta get 'em miles when ya can...mon!

Still have the dream of all the local clubs coming together, would be really a good thing. Gave up on Hellgate, they're a lost cause. Again, their loss.


...well I took a piss on fortune's sweet kiss.....these are better days baby!!!

I could've danced all night

and yes, I'm secure enough to use a line like that!

WOW! What fun. The dance was a success, each year gets better in its own way.

AND, Carmen and Hector were there, an almost meeting of the tribes. Now if thebluepeoplewhoshouldjustcallaspadeaspadeandjoinaREALclub would stop their seperatist crap, we could all join in and have fun. Their loss.

Really a heartwarming night, brought tears to Stan's (and my) eyes. And most Improved couldn't have gone to a better Strider. Great bunch of peeps, odd, but great.


***Interesting note: the dj must LOVE us. This is one crowd you couldn't keep OFF the dance floor. Wow. When The Wearers of the Green cut loose, they cut loose. Giving our the awards was actually a pain in the ass-hadda work around the dinner and dancing. Nice pain in the ass though, really what It's all about.


Today, the Gridiron 4m. Beautiful day for a run.

Go Steelers!


...never seen you look as lovely as you did tonight, never seen you shine so bright...you were amazing.