Day 1647

Foreplay

Did a 4k yesterday, a "Run Your Turkey Off" 2.5m. Nice people, flat fast course, did really well (9:12, one break). Hung with Deb. Balanced out well. Saw Anita, wished her a good morning, not even a fart. Amazing. Her loss. another "friend."

Deb remarked how "Mr.Social" knew so many people. running has indeed been very good to me!

"Foreplay" because 2.5m is really a drop in the bucket.

Day 1646

TGIO

Thank God it's over.

Thanksgiving was rough. After walking in Wed, Stoney pissed, Sybil waking me up to rage @ me, didn't intend to be anywhere NEAR either on Thanksgiving. Sad but true. So, made it through the day with help from my peeps. Bumped into Dennis first thing in the a.m., to be called an "animal" by him is high praise indeed! Then Petra and Janet. Nice.

Did the Thanksgiving 5k, broke 10m, one break. Happy for that, but wanna break 30. Still, gotta stay intact for Sunday's relay w/ the peeps, this is no time to get hurt.

This am, the 4k, Run your Turkey off. what turkey?

Holidays are tough.

Day 1645

$1,851

Found a receipt of what It has in the bank. and IT comes back from yet another AA meeting RAGING about no oil heat???????????????????? Way to stay sober Bitch. Almost 2k in the bank and bitch about ME??????????????????????????????

So, Happy Thanksgiving. fuck it. I'm running.

Day 1644

One more day

Until Sybil and Stoney hang with my family. funny, it used to go hang with Its make believe friends/family-odd how that died isn't it, like everything else in Its life. Can't shirk responsibility forever can you?

The irony will be of course: I'll be nowhere near them. I have zero desire to be with the remains of a female who blames me for everything, and a son who has been turned against me.

It is what it is.

Day 1643

Brrrrrr!

Came in last eve, notes everywhere: "don't touch the electric heaters, buy oil..."

Showed the guys @ work Stoney's notes, they can't believe 1)he's still alive   2)Sybil allowed it. They were incredulous. THIS IS the shit I live with.

A useless person who neither contributes to the daily housework, nor contributes to the bills-yet demands $$$. A son who hates me and thinks HE actually has a say in the way the house works. Lovely.

Woke up this am, fuses blown, even the electric heaters don't work. Good. fuck 'em both.

He works, pay rent. Does HE even lift a finger (I want a doggy???) nope. All on me.

Hope they enjoy my family for thanksgiving.

And remember, It celebrated Its AA anniversary (THIS is sober living???) multiple times. Pathetic. When you don't have a life, 55 with multiple failed careers, useless as a wife, useless as a mother, useless as a parent........

Day 1642

No way

TRIED Long Beach, but after hitting every 7-11 and 24 hour pharmacy, not ONE had Hot Hands. So, picked up my shirt and bib and went to the gym. Spin and STS. New rule: sub freezing, stay in.

Day 1641

Yin/Yang

Yin: did the autism 4m. Ran into DP. Nice This USED to be a big AP race, but as people go their separate ways....... was great, as usual, hangin' with her.

Drove by toxic house, enough to see another toxic note from Stoney (I ate 2 eggs, imagine, in retribution he threatened to trash the den. Good. It WILL result in arrest. Who exactly does he think pays the mortgage? And of course there's the oil thing? Hey, pay rent Stoner!). And again, what does JEEEEESUS' ambassador do? Nothing. Great parenting.

Caught Hunger Games- eh. Even Imax didn't keep me from snoring. But it DID fill in nicely between the sting of Stoney being totally disrespectful and Sybil doing nothing. While on line Lisa said hi, same flick, same place. How cool was that. And the concert was AMAZING!!!!! Pic below.

This am, 10k in Long Beach. 25 degs right now. FUCK!!!!!

Day 1640

400m

Closer to the finish.

Usually a 3 day survey turned into a 4 day-HQ has us under a radar. no prob. again, I believe we work for the best agency, whose staff do their jobs well, so, look all you want.

Again, it WOULD be nice to come home to a welcoming environment, but we know all about that. Stoney leaves a note "eat a dick," does Sybil do anything? Of course not. Teach religion but don't correct your son.

4m this am, thank GOD!!!!!!!!!

Day 1639

800m

Had the visit from BIG Boss yesterday, did well. Put it this way: it was a relief. He asked some questions, it was obvious he was on a mission-sent by the agency chief. So, after all the drama that happened on site, we did ok. More proof that: when you do the right thing, you have nothing to hide.

The downside? No miles since Monday. No gym either. Ugh! BUT, wouldn't have either if I didn't have a gig. And a great one @ that!

What hurt:  came in, told Sybil in plain English what was happening, It STILL hadda be a total Bitch when I needed a helping hand, or at worst, a shut mouth. That was the day It went psycho avout "eating my food......" real family talk. What would JEEEEEESUS do? Go teach religion. Setting a great example for Stoney who witnesses the satanization of his father.

Damn I need to run!!!!!

Couldn't even go to Spin class.

Day 1638

Pile on!!!!!

Agency surveyor shows up, unannounced (that's normal), to review the place. My boss calls asking questions from above, and this am, the boss's boss coming in. Add to this, NUMEROUS psychotic noted taped to the kitchen cabinets. surprise, it's winter. This appears to be a new concept for Sybil. So of course It's losing It's mind, "I have no money for food," (stop buying Chinese restaurant takeout and...COOK???), "You have to give me $ for oil, with all your money..." Really living in la la land. Of course I gave my stock answer: "just tell me which bill to stop paying. I'd be MORE than happy to stop paying either the mortgage or cable." You don't wanna hear the response. Common sense would dictate: stop pissing money away on shit, put a bit aside every month, poof, oil money. No, easier to rage @ me. Involves no responsibility you see.

Just gotta man up for a couple-a days.

Still, would be nice to come home to support rather than revulsion.

29 degs. Running? No friggin' way.

Day 1637

Brrr!

Yesterday was sweatshirt and shorts weather, today it's ellip weather. Friggin' cold. Of course it IS Wednesday, which means Sons of Anarchy was on, which means I was up way too late. Sorry ass is draggin', so, with a buttload of meetings, gotta gym it. Good. stay warm (er).

Lost my friggin' car keys. Add this to Stoney sick for 2 days and Sybil being Sybil, and I come home to the "you're a piece of shit-a-thon." Joy joy. He's had nothing to do but lay around, smoke, and wait for me to come in so I can be blamed for his lack of progress re: a student loan (It IS November????? Most normal people apply in July). and of course Sybil is useless-other than pile on me. Funny, how It can't help him with the loan application-oh wait-the world revolves around Satan. and of course, THAT would involve some level of responsibility. Easier to blame me.

Might lace 'em up anyway....................Freezing's preferable...................

Day 1636

Nice surprise


Was actually excited to see my peep again. We had lunch across from the Barclays Center-mofongo w/café con leche-a real Puerto Rican meal. Time passed effortlessly. Nothing had changed. Quite a treat.

Started on the right foot. Was raining yesterday am, touched base on the unit to nail things down, then the rain stopped. Got my run in. Later than usual, but no matter. Set the groundwork for a terrific day. Well done God!

Day 1635

Veni, vidi.....

So, last day of a 4 day weekend, sorta. Taking Fridays and Mondays off, but I'm always "around."

Raining, a lot. Of course this pm the sun is supposed to come out. Too late for a run. Might hit the gym, we'll see. Supposed to meet Marciana-either a very good or very bad day for it, either way, always a delight.

Actually a good thing it's raining, after the 5k really SHOULD take a day off.

Did well, broke 10. My benchmark came in 30 sec behind me. He always goes out too fast. Does all this training @ the gym, treadmill. Needs to hit the asphalt. REALLY a nice guy, when he points to me and says "beat ya" it all in good fun.

Day 1634

Deja Vu

Enjoyed Styx so much, went back for more. On a lark, checked tix availability, first row was open! Wow!!!!!!! Went with my peeps and their grandkids, had a blast!!!!!!!! AND, finally understood why they weren't boring: the lead singer. A real attention whore, but NOT Dennis DeYoung-an ego driven asshole who thought the world revolved around him. Again, you could tell they enjoyed playing live AND together. Likewise, threw in a few wrinkles to keep things interesting: Piano Man and I am the Walrus, to the deletion of Pieces of Eight unfortunately-I really love that one. Another very good night!

Yesterday am, Spin. Was raining when I split, of course-following Murphy's law-after I left the gym the sun was out. Bumped into Dennis, compared notes, a kindred spirit though on SO many levels we don't operate nowhere near the same planes. Nice, though, to recognize the commonality.

Little 5k this am to stay in the groove.

Day 1633

NICE!

Got my miles in yesterday am. It's one of those "use it or lose it" deals-Mondays and Fridays off. So, the last time I did this, the more dysfunctional peeps went nuts. Now things appear to have settled. Not TOO many issues.

Then last night, Styx. Saw 'em YEARS ago @ MSG, fell asleep. They were GREAT! Something within them arose, and you can tell they actually enjoy playing live. Thank God! GREAT seats-8th row, pics below.

Day 1632

Off/Not off

Was supposed to be taking Fridays and Mondays off-too many hours. BUT, with everything hitting the fan....... so, do the invisible thing. Be @ the job, but in the background.

40 degs this am, perfect, get out and get some miles. Tonight, Styx @ Westbury. Perfect day!

Day 1631

TGIT

Tough week, all sorts of shit hittin' the fan all around...but note..."all around." There's ALOT to be said for doing the right thing. No looking over your shoulder, no need to.

This am, got my miles, then Spin. Hadda make up for yesterday!

Day 1630

:)

Last night, Dave Davies @ City Winery. amazing week: Eagles, Dave Davies, next: Styx. The Geritol Tour. If they're alive, they're playin'. LOVE to see any of today's bands do that!!!!! Last over 30 years, much less 30 minutes.

Actually too cold to run-29. After running in shorts, THIS is too cold. Gotta acclimate. Went to Spin instead, as it was raining. Perfect  :).

Day 1629

Day 4

My boss came to the unit to review the video, no big deal, we did our job, except for one. Glad for the visit, when you do the right thing, you have nothing to worry about. Of course I still have no response re: when my laptop will be returned. This is beyond obscene, THEN I get queried re: "why didn't you answer....?"

BUT, yesterday I ran. Nice.

Day 1628

Back in the sddle.

So, it's been a week, time to lace 'em up again. 45 degs this am, crisp, cool. Perfect weather. Felt odd not running, but Spin + Pilates instead.

Considering everything that's going on, not a moment too soon!!!!!

And no, laptop STILL not returned. 3 days now. Amazing. And of course now it's being spun as though I'm the fuckup.

Day 1627

In the City!

Eagles concert last night @ MSG. They really spruced up the place, but times have changed. I moved up a few rows-unused seats, no one sat there for the whole show-got chased out. Really unnecessary.

But, the Eagles were great, even gave a nod to Poco. and yes, as usual Joe Walsh was the man. It DID seem that this was the "make alotta money" tour, but it IS for all of 'em, isn't it? Joe actually is the single animated one.

And no, my computer hasn't been returned.

Day 1626

Amazing.

Thought I'd seen the last of one asshole on the job, it returned yesterday to investigate the patient death. Best of all, it took my laptop! Why this asshole was even allowed into my office is an issue that's gonna make some heads roll.

Day 1625

First time for everything

Yesterday, 2 incidents, second bad.

First time in my career we had a patient die. Big guy, 300+, I'd been speaking with him a few minutes earlier, next thing, he's on the ground receiving cpr, nonresponsive. Damn.

Really validated alotta my beliefs: gotta make the most of the moment, all you got is now.

His parents: upset of course. He was only 23-with a history of overdose. Unfortunately, this DOES happen in rehab. Sucks, but it happens.

I come in and shebitch goes psycho over the vacuum. Useless Bitch. Really. Not even wondering how my day went. Long Island suburban clueless Bitch.

Day 1624

Got it!!!

The club decided to get green bracelets, to give to they that completed a marathon. Last time, my time was unofficial as I wasn't wearing a bib (thanks Hank), so, never got one. Been 3 years in the making, but last night got it! Was actually looking forward to this more than the medal!

Last night was the next to the last meeting for me as prez x 2. You've no idea how I loathe these meetings. Looking forward to having my time back.

Day 1623

OUCH!

Worst part of running a marathon: resting. It's really like the day after Christmas. Problem is: withdrawl. So, did the Spin class last night. hadda do SOMETHING.

One blister, not bad all things considered, problem is: blood blister. Still, a small price to pay.

Day 1622

Back!

9:45pm last night, sleeping when...WHEN...attack of Shebitch! It'd left the house, we're on speaking terms, comes in, PURE HELL. Making noise, waking me up to rage about not getting a copy of the taxes I have done every year. The presenting problem was........wait for it..........) I'd actually put veggies in the crisper in the fridge. Imagine! Call out the hounds. Fucking nut job. best of all, Stoney's sitting there, adding to it. Great. I'm accountable to a teenager. Pay rent Stoner. He has a job, what does he do (besides smoke) buys a pimp coat. And the idiot lets him. THIS is a sober person? THIS is a religion teacher. What would Jeeeeeesus do bitch???????

Amazing.

And you wonder why I was in no particular rush for The Big One. Come home to this?

A son who loathes his father and that son's nine month vessel who is actively psychotic.

You can pick your friends....................

Day 1621

Finished, barely.

Knowing the Toxichouse front, and the fact that the bus from Runner's Edge wasn't leaving until 5:30, I didn't kill myself. Did well for the first half, then took half on/half off breaks-45 secs run/30 secs walk. Knees held up, but after doing 6.5-10 daily, when your knees can't handle a long run, this is what happens. I'm happy, not thrilled with my time, but happy to have finished. Especially after last year.

Temps were perfect, barely broke a sweat. You know that sheen of salt that covers you after, nope, not this time. Between putting on and taking off my jacket, I was busy for the first half, @ 14 I gave it to The Striders. Underneath I had a base layer long sleeve and Strider overshirt.

Stoney? Not a word. Shebitch, asked about my time, that's the only utterance.

When people asked how I did, my answer was "Bitch is home, why should I hurry?"

Wish I was joking.

Listening to the peeps on the bus taking with their loved ones hurt, but my peeps are there, just not where I sleep. Shitload of calls and posts. Support was there thank God. AND, my NYRR peeps were there. Even with 50,000+, ran into 'em!

Day 1620

It's here!

The day we've been waiting for, for 2 years. Now let's hope I do ok.

Not easy, really feeling odd, but a good odd. Not like I haven't been through this before.

Right now, temps @ 51. Nice. Supposed to be a low of 39, with first 20m into a headwind. We'll see. Anything BUT rain.

Day 1619

24 hours

And counting!

Had the Big One dinner w/the peeps yesterday, always fun. Brotherfromanothermother? Off the grid. Pity. But we had fun and it went well, no Hank-thank you GOD.

Now let's cross our fingers and toes for manana, and try not to move too much today.

Day 1618

Couple'a days!

Last run yesterday am, then hit the job for a few hours, then the expo. Felt good to be back on track. Bumped into a couple'a peeps-unplanned but terrific. Then caught a flick, then in for the night.

Stoney? Still breakin' my balls for the urine he bought. Imagine?