Day 1525

Back in the NY groove!

Attending a 2 day training in nyc, love it! Not the training, that's good in itself, but guess where the training is? Right. Chelsea! My second home. Around the corner from Feldenkrais, around the corner from Buffalo Exchange, blocks from B n' N, wow. Everything really DOES come full circle.

AND, since I was already in nyc, hit City Winery for the Tuesday 5pm concert! Saw Betty!!!!! After years of hearing about them. GREAT day!!!!!

Day 1524

Back

Bitch went south again, I had the BALLS to park in Its driveway. Remember, I paid to have it resurfaced, and $800 to repair/replace the gate It left open, repeatedly. But it is Its driveway?

THEN, Stoney's back from camping. Leaves "mine" notes all over shit in the fridge. I should leave "mine" notes all over the electricity, the cable, the house itself.

Unbelievable.

Day 1523

Monday Monday

Made it! For the next 2 days, I'm in nyc @ training, so, got my miles as I could. Best of all, I hadda go to the Y for consultation! nice eh? The fat kid who couldn't do a lap around the gym asked to consult. They wanna do a 5k and were asking relevant questions. what a thrill!

Day 1522

Put the 2 together and?

Between The American Led Zep Friday night and Robert Plant Saturday night, throw in Jimmy Page and.....

Was in Prospect Park for a 5k sat am, I was asked by a runner (when he saw the Zep tat on my arm) if I was seeing Plant in the eve. Perfect! And I didn't really wanna do the 5k, much less see Percy but the evening was breezy, and I'm glad I stayed to do the 5k.

I was gonna split, there were no signs, hooked up with another lost runner, nothing to even indicate a race was happening. Was SO pissed after walking, literally, around Prospect Park, that I was headed to my vehicle to leave. Fortunately, I bumped into a runner who picked up his bib earlier in the week, together we went off to find this fucking race.

Sho' 'nuff, it was tucked away. I'm talkin' TUCKED AWAY. If you tried, you couldn't have hidden it any better. BUT, I'm glad I stuck around. Because of the confusion, they started it 30 mins after the scheduled time (good, otherwise I'd have hadda done the race sans knee braces, OUCH!). So, did the 5k, which with all the fucking walking, was a 10k. The BEST news, didn't havta walk any of it! Nice to see results. More running, more gooder.

So, since I was in Brooklyn anyway, spent the day farting around, then Plant in the evening.

Nice.

Day 1521

A GOOD Friday

Despite drama @ work (buzzard who needs to retire), a very good Friday. Hit my fave venue to see The American Led Zeppelin. they were very good. They are to Led Zep what masturbation is to sex. And, my usual great spot! Really cool.

This after getting my miles. Felt GREAT to put a solid week in. With the work drama, really helps.

Came in, Stoney's out camping/smoking with his brotherfromanothermother. Good for him.

Day 1520

No longer a virgin

Stoney asked (gave him credit for that, though annoyingly opportunistic) "dad, could you leave me $10 to get something to eat with my friends," to which I replied "don't you have money in the bank?" He didn't like that, referring to it as "graduation money." I, of course, reminded him the $100 for grad + the $50 for his birthday (which HAD been $100 'til I pondered his reeking of weed daily) = $150, and that he needed to get a job. He isn't happy. Pity. If he'd done what I told him years ago, we wouldn't be having this issue. AND, the only time he speaks with anything vaguely resembling respect is to ask for $. Enjoy your summer kiddo.

And yes, got my miles, and yes, I feel alive!!!!!!!!

Day 1519

Pure bitch

Parks in front of the house (I was in the driveway), makes it a point to walk through the driveway, around the house, to circle through-to enter through The Den. Bear in mind the front door is steps away. This from the same person that walked 400m to the back of the garage to place a broken vacuum there, yes, purposely put a broken vacuum behind the garage rather than the curb for garbage. Think I'm makin' this up eh?

But, I got my miles! Felt good, though my leg was killing me @ night. Always the left leg.

Day 1518

Victory


Crossed THAT one off my "to do" list! Now, if I could qualify for Boston, I could say I'd done everything I'd ever dreamed of. What was it? Finally ran in the rain, not for a race no less. there, I'd do it because I was preregged, but yesterday, I did it to escape the addictive cycle of hitting the gym rather than asphalt. Remember when The Big One was cancelled? Took months to get back on the horse. Yesterday, POURING, but, motherfucker, I got my miles!

Day 1517

:)

Rain off and on. Felt the familiar "Lucy pulling the football away" feeling yesterday, BUT, did ok. The misting started after St.Francis. Got my miles, life is good!

Stoney? No job, smokin'. Still.

Goy my miles, knees holding up. My head's ok.

Day 1516

TGIM

Tough weekend, really smarting from Stoney's unimaginable attitude, but fuckit. I'm ok.

Thank God I have running.

Day 1515

WTF??? 

Did the Queens 10k. I'm PISSED/disappointed. No medal? Hey, at least I finished. After the IT band injury, glad to finish the damned thing.

Get in, Stoney-blunt remains again under the couch, asks if I'd seen 3 shirts he bought last year??? Smoke some more, the memory's great.

Can't wait 'til he either turns 21 or leaves. I was never this much of a punk, and with It useless as a parent, I'm all alone.

Does shit all day, but feed into his weed fueled paranoias.

Day 1514

???????????

Stoney leaves his "please leave me $10..." note. I leave nothing. 3 Weeks before: $100 for graduation, last week $50 for his birthday. Funny asshole.

I come in yesterday, my stuff is moved around. Why? I moved stuff in the fridge. Call the lawyers, call cps. This kid has ZERO respect. I call him, he calls me a "cunt," and his mother, doesn't wanna hear any of it "I have to deal with problems all day..." It babysits a 95 year old woman. I deal with 26 patients and 22 staff. It HAS to be kidding????? Bury your head in the sand, then go teach religion.

But it's ok, why, I ran!

Was supposed to be Boomer's 10k, but due to the temps, it was made a 4m run, unscored, but still a qualifier. Nice. and yes, got him to sign my bib!

Day 1513

Do I LOOK that stupid?

Come in everyday this week, Stoney reeks of weed. Come in @ 4:30 2 days ago, to be challenged with "what are YOU doing here," after catching him and his peeps smoking in the back. So, wake up this am to: "could you leave $10....." Amazing. He gets a package yesterday from his aunt, I ask what was in the package, he mumbles, the dog-remember "I want a doggy daddy" has no water in his bowl-almost 100 degs, he takes my clothes from the closet-depositing them on the bed, FUCK this! He has $$$ for weed, he has a bank account. He is 18, he needs a job.

Imagine, 18, sweltering temps. I'd be living @ the local pool.

Smoke some more, it's doing a world of good.

Day 1512

Got smoke?

Stoney does!

Came in yesterday, 4;30, he and his peeps in the backyard smokin' away. Sooooo happy I pay a mortgage. Assholes. I PRAY N.C.P.D. comes by.

Got my miles, saw my peeps, you KNOW I'm lacin' 'em up this am!

*WAS hilarious hearing Stoney and his 9 month motel yelling @ each other. 2 bitches. Sad, but reallllly funny. What happened to the "I love you's?" Funny, some people's feelings are determined by the temperature. Good sobriety-of course, he WAS high as a kite.

Day 1511

Ewwwwwwww


This weather is not fun. Thank GOD I got my miles predawn, can't imagine running after sunrise.

Best part: no rain, sucks re: the almost 100 deg temps, but rain SUUUUCKS worse than the heat. End result: got my miles, life is good. Downside: haven't been in the gym in over a week, not a bad thing.

Stoney, out all night, comes in reeking of weed.

Day 1510

Reap what you sow

So, blazing, stupid hot. Got a/c? We don't. The place that gave you no heat/oil in winter, no a/c in summer. Now, what's to stop UberBitch from contributing to the electric bills? Nope, better to suffer and blame me. No prob. Sweat bitch.

Stoney has a test this am @ Nassau Community, apparently never heard of a bus. Breakin' Bitch's balls about a lift. Smart enough to NOT ask me. Take your weed $$$ and take a bus, better, Mr. "I know everything:" Take a cab. Nope, better to whine. Learn a lesson boy.

Yes, got my miles, felt GREAT!!!!!!!! Hot as shit, but goddamn it, did it!

Day 1509

OUCH!!!!!

Stoney had asked for closet space. Problem is: with them using the den as Grand Central, tough to store my stuff there without dog hair getting on it, so the plan WAS: pay down the credit cards, then have my guy build a closet. Note: WAS the plan. I come in yesterday, my clothes are on the bed. He'd removed them.

I will never, ever give him anything. He is 18, he respects nothing, and I apparently have no rights in my home. Fuck this.

Remember when the plan WAS to seal the door in the den, God forbid the two walk the dog THEY wanted. Better to let him into the yard to shit, which neither EVER picks up.

Hurts. Hurts a lot.

Day 1508

Hurt, but a good hurt

Good news: did the 5k in Prospect Park with my peep. Helluva guy. We really had a blast! He's 59, yet his inner child lives. This is "football dad." He picked me up, we drove in, not a second of the trip was "tolerance time," we had some deep guy talk, did the run, then back, and in before 10 am. Nice!!!!! THAT was the good news.

Unfortunately, CUNT, in the process of making my son hate me, took him to Its groupies house. It was his birthday. Nice. My sons birthday and I'm not invited. And you wonder why I don't lift a finger? Let 'em rot in their shit. Yet the ONER thing that's unspiled they havta try to undermine: the den. they make it a point to traipse through it, when the front and side doors are closer....but I'M in need of therapy.................

Had a great day nonetheless.

Day 1507

All week?????

Rain all fucking week, at least I got my miles in in the am, REAL miles.

Yesterday, Cheap Trick, back @ Coney Island. JUST like last time, rain-but no lightening!!!!! The show went on!!!

They're really ramping up the concerts: Lynrd Skynrd (more appropriately: what's left), The Go-Go's, Tom Tom Club. Really some good shows. Impressed.

Unfortunately, Bitch is a Bitch. Came in, Stoney's on the couch with a girl, It prances in PISSED. "YOU USED MY OIL..." Now, remember, only this CUNT goes shopping without checking what's in the house, and, also remember It was m.i.a. last night, didn't even call to say where it was. Yet, has the balls to go psycho-in front of guests. "YOU USED MY OIL, BUY YOUR OWN." Yet, this CUNT will be the first to speak of our "alcoholic home." Amazing. Go to a meeting. Oops, meant to say, drink first, please. Do us ALL a favor.

Thank GOD for Cheap Trick.

Day 1506

Deja vu!

After seeing The Dead @ The Garden for their last tour-and walking out, never had a desire to recreate the past. Knew it was over. Something -great seats and a new venue- persuaded me to go to Further. Glad I did. @ The Barclays Center, what a venue!!!!!! AND, amazing seats, section 7, 13th row from the ground, stage left (right side of venue). WOW!!!!! Put it this way, one attendee was so amazed when, after spilling a beer in the bathroom, it was immediately mopped up, I told the worker their shirts should read "this ain't The Garden." Wow. And Bobby n' Phil? Top form. Hate to say it, but it was like The Dead, streamlined. Sorry jerry, but you know it's true.

And the crowd? Nothing has changed. they were allowed to set up camp in a section outside, shirts etc being sold openly-because they were't bootleg, they were individually made by entrepreneurs funding their touring with the band. Of course, walked out with a pile. Really a great night.

I get in, Bitch, nowhere to be found, Stoney asks me "please don't move stuff on the third shelf of the fridge." ????????????? Really. Amazing. Tough life.

Pray it doesn't rain tonight, Cheap Trick can't seem to get a break @ Coney.


***And yes, it felt GREAT to have My Line back. Leg is cooperating!

Actually texted football Dad, we're both doing the 5k manana. Hookin' up with him to ride in. Funny, you get your run in and all of a sudden, you're social again. the world is, again, on its axis.

Day 1505

Re-centered

Felt so good to do back to back St.Francis runs. since The Big One was cancelled, really fell off the wagon, running wasn't the same, lost my motivation. Tried filling the gap with Spinning, Pilates, Feldenkrais etc...but those were methadone. THEN my left leg IT thing, shiiiiit!!!!! THEN, when I felt better, walk breaks in 5k's???????

Now, I'm back to The Line, feeling good. Not where I need to be, but good.

Shit still happening, came in Toxichouse, Stoney dead asleep, water pipe on his desk.

But I ran. I'm a runner. I did what I needed to do!!!!!

Day 1504

BACK!!!!!!

After too many 5k's with walk breaks, after too many gym classes, after too many days when I couldn't stand on my left leg, FINALLY ran MY LINE with no breaks. GOD that was good! Got my miles, didn't need the gym, showered on the job. Just like when I first started. Lovely!!!!!
Almost makes me forget finding Stoney's blunt evidence under the couch...again.......reeking of weed.....again...his mother? Useless.

Day 1503

23 years

Still can't believe been married for so long. Good thing ONE of us takes the word "vow" literally. (hint: it's NOT the religion teacher).

Resolved-for now-some bullshit on site. People really DO create their own problems. Scary part is: most of it revolves around people not knowing when to leave.

Hot as a mother, no shirt running weather. Tonight, possibly spin, but hey-no rain. Good.

Day 1502

23 years

23 years ago today I got married. If I hadda do it all over again would I? Yes. @ the time there was no way of knowing cancer would come in and give It the license to play the perpetual victim and go totally mental, just like its mom.

Today, hot, again. Get those predawn miles in. Yesterday was good, VERY good. Got my miles, then thought I'd head to the gym for class. turned out, no classes. Be nice if they'd put the word out. So, I had my ipod, did my own class. Perfect!

Day 1501

Close(r)

So, between a burned out, should'a retired staffperson making me dread tomorrow, and Stoney smoking daily, yes, did the hedges.

Did the Sayville 4m, then home to do the hedges, hadda. When they're overgrown to the point of hitting the front windows...and of course, Stoney didn't lift a finger.

BUT, when I got in last night, another bike was in the den. ????? Of course he has $$$ to smoke, but did he get off his ass to get the flat on his bike fixed? Nope, took his mother's bike. Amazing.

And It? Takes the useless one to the movies. Let's reward this behavior?

And of course, the shit gets put in my den. Could you be more psycho?

Good news? Got a text from Rob about the Ducks game. Couldn't make it Friday, BUT, @ THAT game, he spun a prize wheel, won 2 tickets. Had a fun evening hangin' with him!

Day 1500

(been a long time hasn't it?)

So, guess what I find? (backstory: whenever First Bank of Dad is hit upon, this happens, hmmmm), evidence. He uses blunts, find his leavin's-wrapper and contents, under the couch. Wonder what the judge would say? How soon does he turn 18?

...he has no clue what he puts me through.

Day 1499

Happy 4th?

So, did the Oakdale 5k, numerous walk breaks, too fuckin' humid. Felt like you needed a snorkel to breathe. Unfortunately, when I got back, It was still there. Hadda resort to retail therapy-no biggie, the thrifts had 50% off-made a killing (which is why I LOVE when the TWAT steals my stuff, go ahead, I'll buy more). Finally It was gone. I walk in, Stoney's there! His tummy ached (between that and the persistent cough, needs more glaucoma meds.

So, It ditched us to hang with Its friends. Now THERE'S a first! Best of all, It spent the night! Imagine. If YOU were a peep, wouldn't you have asked "ahem.....might wanna spend time with YOUR family???" No, selfish CUNT. All this while dragging my name through the mud. Good victim isn't It? But will trounce in with the "I love you Hulk" and "Love you Keith" bullshit. Right. Faith without works is what?????

Meanwhile, who did the lawn and cleaned the dogshit AND kept Hulk company as he freaked out? And who ditched everyone to be with friends?

Day 1498

PIZZA????
So, after attempting a withdrawl from First Bank of Dad, I come home, Dominos boxes everywhere. Can't be hurtin' for $$$ THAT bad, or, UberBitch bailed him out. THEN, I reach between the cushions, what do I find. A pipe. amazing. And those 2 actually think I believe their bullshit.

Today hurts. The initial "you're not wanted here" situation. Remember when I thought I called Its bluff, only to have my ass handed to me? When I called Bill and he confirmed that I wasn't wanted @ his party-all because of the CUNT tarnishing my name? (funny, when they went to the beach when Stoney was 6, leaving him alone, didn't they wonder who WAS caring for him??? But no, I'm satan. convenient isn't it?). No problem, let the alcoholics enjoy either other. I'll be racing, then a concert.

Day 1497

Good news/bad news

Stoney DID speak to me, the bad news? "Dad, could you leave me $10, I don't wanna touch my graduation $$$." Amazing. And Saturday they went to a party-to which I-of course, wasn't invited (he IS only my son), and received MORE $$$. Give him credit though.

This rain blows, but ended up getting my miles yesterday predawn-rain started 'round noon, and then in the eve spin.

Day 1496

Peace.

What UberBitch can't admit: It was never cut out to be a parent. Stoney's back, and Uber bitch as well. Talk about displaced anger/low frustration tolerance. When he's not there, It behaves. But the "I love you's" are effusive, just like with Hulk. Constantly gives bullshit talk, but walk him? Clean his dog shit? All talk.

Yesterday got lucky, got my run in in the am, so no gym later. Perfect, the rains came DOWN. This is the shit season. Storms almost every afternoon. Good, leave the mornings for running.

Day 1495

:)

Made it through the "Brooklyn weekend." Really alotta fun doing Coney Island. (asked Uberbitch how much It gave Stoney when he went: $75!!! amazing. No wonder he's on weed constantly. And what did he do for it? Not a THING he said he would). But I digress.

Had the Take Your Base on Saturday, then Cosme's on Sunday. Cosme's was like an AP race. Cosme himself is an older gent, tie dyed t shirt and pants. Really a howl. If there were 200 people there were a lot. Nice.

Then back to Toxichouse to do the lawn. Stoney's with his brotherfromanothermother-smoking, and It's away overnight. Ahhhhhh. Peace.