now THIS is more like it!!! Nice and cool(er) this am. Still worked up a sweat, summer's not over yet, but I'll take this anytime.
Did Kissena, needed a longer run, so got my 10 in. Manana the track, so it balances out.
This week starts single parenting, again. Next week school starts so it should be a bit more manageable. Now that he's back from his brotherfromanothermother's, gotta start laying the groundwork for the school year. THIS is where you wish you had a partner, but it is what it is. At least I won't be coping with internal sabotage.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
day 35
really had a good time yesterday. For 3 hours I hadn't a care in the world-my only problem was me-fighting the urge to sleaze out. But our table was such a blast, I found myself there for the entire happening. AND, got to talk with Len. Turns out, he's divorced, agrees cheapertokeepher-if you can stand it. He's of the school of thought that peace has no price. I, however, can't leave Keith alone, as he would be because you KNOW It'd get custody. Female always does.
St.Francis this am. Few peeps there, many went to Mel's service. Enough religion to last a few years already, we were well represented. Saw Chris. Join the fucking club already!!! Jeeeeez! Do they even show up for that thursday "group run???"
Saw Taking Woodstock. Really good. Reminded me of when life was easy, hope Keith enjoys it while he can. Was really lucky to have grown up in the 60's. We really DID think anything was possible. It is, but now we know how tough it can be.
(STILL can't believe I PR'd thurs night.)
difficult difficult, lemon difficult.......
St.Francis this am. Few peeps there, many went to Mel's service. Enough religion to last a few years already, we were well represented. Saw Chris. Join the fucking club already!!! Jeeeeez! Do they even show up for that thursday "group run???"
Saw Taking Woodstock. Really good. Reminded me of when life was easy, hope Keith enjoys it while he can. Was really lucky to have grown up in the 60's. We really DID think anything was possible. It is, but now we know how tough it can be.
(STILL can't believe I PR'd thurs night.)
difficult difficult, lemon difficult.......
Saturday, August 29, 2009
day34
nice!!!
Woke up, rain ughhhhh. But...hold out hope. Went to the Y, did the spin class. It was slated to go off @ 7:30, didn't start 'til 8. Went 45 minutes, so I got MORE than a workout. The AP peeps, actually ran-n' I thought I was bad. These peeps be loco-even by MY standards. I'll do a race if preregged, but not training in rain.
THEN, off to The Wedding. Bless their little love filled hearts. Had a hard time finding the church, if I'd known it was right off Union, wouldn't've been a prob. Funny, again, running into former peeps. I knew the Priest very well-kind'a like @ Ken's mom's funeral. Gotta stop going to these things. WAS nice to speak with him though-and no, he didn't recognize me.
Beautiful ceremony, reminded me of what love is like. Then, off to the reception. Again, a trip down memory lane-the Laguardia Marriot. Wow. No escaping the past, wouldn't EVER want to. Was seated @ the right table, had a blast, stayed for the whole thing. The food was even delish!!! Bless you guys, hope your shared life mirrors the festivity of this day. Despite the rain, it was WONDERFUL.
How ironic that Mel Kaplan died. Yin and Yang.
We truly have a great bunch of folks, the love is ever present. You should'a seen these people-the newly married couple as well as the peeps @ our table.
Woke up, rain ughhhhh. But...hold out hope. Went to the Y, did the spin class. It was slated to go off @ 7:30, didn't start 'til 8. Went 45 minutes, so I got MORE than a workout. The AP peeps, actually ran-n' I thought I was bad. These peeps be loco-even by MY standards. I'll do a race if preregged, but not training in rain.
THEN, off to The Wedding. Bless their little love filled hearts. Had a hard time finding the church, if I'd known it was right off Union, wouldn't've been a prob. Funny, again, running into former peeps. I knew the Priest very well-kind'a like @ Ken's mom's funeral. Gotta stop going to these things. WAS nice to speak with him though-and no, he didn't recognize me.
Beautiful ceremony, reminded me of what love is like. Then, off to the reception. Again, a trip down memory lane-the Laguardia Marriot. Wow. No escaping the past, wouldn't EVER want to. Was seated @ the right table, had a blast, stayed for the whole thing. The food was even delish!!! Bless you guys, hope your shared life mirrors the festivity of this day. Despite the rain, it was WONDERFUL.
How ironic that Mel Kaplan died. Yin and Yang.
We truly have a great bunch of folks, the love is ever present. You should'a seen these people-the newly married couple as well as the peeps @ our table.
Friday, August 28, 2009
day 33
WOW!!! What a difference a day makes. Actually got one over on our webmaster-found a race on NO ONE'S calendar, Urban Athletics was putting on a 5k on 103rd n' Riverside. Why does that ring a bell? It's where Nike had a training run waaaaaay back when we were a cohesive group, @ the Hudson Cafe. Niiiiice location, flat, a 5k. What also made it significant, I took the day off the day before to see if it would affect my time-of course it did, came in @ a sub 8. Yes, a sub 8, 7:39 pace. I was as amazed as anyone-but I hadn't done St.Francis since Monday. Had some...what's that word...ah yes, REST. But, it WAS an amazing field, when you run with peeps like that, it raises the bar. In my age group, the top ten paces ranged from 4:38 to the tenth place guy with 5:33 (tenth place @ 5:33????). Wow. Urban Athletics draws a FAST crowd. I was next to last in my age group. One third from the back of the pack. WOW. But, for me, a pr. YAY!!!!! 7:39, didn't know I could move that fast. Thanks coach!!!
Spent the night in Manhattan, saw In The Loop, great movie, came highly recommended.
This weekend, rain, then rain, then...more rain. Good thing there's no races.
...difficult, difficult, lemon difficult.
Spent the night in Manhattan, saw In The Loop, great movie, came highly recommended.
This weekend, rain, then rain, then...more rain. Good thing there's no races.
...difficult, difficult, lemon difficult.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
day 32
so, que paso ayer? nada. Too many choices, hate that. Went back to Toxichouse, intending to spend time with Keith. THAT was the plan-yesterday was, after all, his orientation for High School-a big day. Unfortunately, It was there. Gave me the rant about Keith wanting to go to private school (he doesn't), how I make $90,000 (I don't), basically raging yet again. I asked Keith, he could give less than a shit about where he goes to school-also-I told him if he wanted it, I'd enroll him, but he needed better study habits........bottom line, it was Its attempt to continue Its bitch legacy. Nice way to live. Ms.12 step program/religion teacher. Whining about washing dishes (only Its are in the sink) and shopping (no food for 3 weeks,) ultimately, throwing in "my doctor says I need a stress free environment"-ironic n'est pas? What is the source of all stress here? When It's out, peace reigns.
Tonight, Central Park, staying in Manhattan tonight 'til manana. Mini vaca. Best of all, It has no idea. Good.
Glad I took the night off, not because of Incredibleangrycrazyfullblownbatshitcheapertokeepherwhyisn'thomicidelegalforsomecasesbitch, but to have discussed school with Keith. You KNOW I'll never get the full story from It. Icing on the cake, by 7 pm, both of them had gone-It drove him to his brotherfromanothermother's for a few days of last gasp of summer mischief, and It to do Its laundry. And when did class @ the Y start? When was the last LIRRC race of summer, @ exactly that moment. People really don't realize what you sacrifice for their sake, and Keith shouldn't, but one day I hope he does. Make myself come to Toxichouse to endure abuse, in order to have the opportunity to parent him. Hopefully he'll be there for his kids-adopted of course, if he marries I'll kill him.
...and I can still hear her complain.................
Tonight, Central Park, staying in Manhattan tonight 'til manana. Mini vaca. Best of all, It has no idea. Good.
Glad I took the night off, not because of Incredibleangrycrazyfullblownbatshitcheapertokeepherwhyisn'thomicidelegalforsomecasesbitch, but to have discussed school with Keith. You KNOW I'll never get the full story from It. Icing on the cake, by 7 pm, both of them had gone-It drove him to his brotherfromanothermother's for a few days of last gasp of summer mischief, and It to do Its laundry. And when did class @ the Y start? When was the last LIRRC race of summer, @ exactly that moment. People really don't realize what you sacrifice for their sake, and Keith shouldn't, but one day I hope he does. Make myself come to Toxichouse to endure abuse, in order to have the opportunity to parent him. Hopefully he'll be there for his kids-adopted of course, if he marries I'll kill him.
...and I can still hear her complain.................
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
day 31
track work yesterday, almost missed it!
Went to AP per the plan, the track was being redone, so coach said be @ AP. The appointed hour arrives, only 2 of us there, called Ken, who called Joe, who relayed that they were @ the track. So much for the plan. We ARE Alley Pond after all. So, the two of us shlepped down Springfield blvd to QCC, 15 mins late, Rob and Peter were doing their first set. We caught up eventually, though @ the end, coach said we owed him 2 laps STILL (making up for what we walked into Rob and Peter completing when we arrived late). Dayum. Legs were rubber. That was the bad news, good news (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!) is coach said my times were almost exactly the same. Hey, I suck...consistently.
Finding it tough to stay motivated, yet press on. More news, It reenters hospital tues for 3 more days of chemo, then about a week later, 4 weeks in hospital. Starting to get that "weight of the world on my shoulders" feeling. As though working wasn't enough, I'm really single parenting. This is getting rough.
Decisions...decisions...no core training for 2 weeks, a good thing. You do the same shit week after week, you hit the wall. So, either do the last LIRRC tonight (end of summer Wednesday series), or do the boot camp class, or run @ crack of dawn. Too many options, this is getting like the LI Marathon and it's bloody choices. Prob wait 'til later and decide @ work. Save the knee for tonight-stiull sore from the track. I swear, running a marathon is easier than track work. My only gauge there is staying between rob and Peter, in front, and Lori behind me.
Went to AP per the plan, the track was being redone, so coach said be @ AP. The appointed hour arrives, only 2 of us there, called Ken, who called Joe, who relayed that they were @ the track. So much for the plan. We ARE Alley Pond after all. So, the two of us shlepped down Springfield blvd to QCC, 15 mins late, Rob and Peter were doing their first set. We caught up eventually, though @ the end, coach said we owed him 2 laps STILL (making up for what we walked into Rob and Peter completing when we arrived late). Dayum. Legs were rubber. That was the bad news, good news (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!) is coach said my times were almost exactly the same. Hey, I suck...consistently.
Finding it tough to stay motivated, yet press on. More news, It reenters hospital tues for 3 more days of chemo, then about a week later, 4 weeks in hospital. Starting to get that "weight of the world on my shoulders" feeling. As though working wasn't enough, I'm really single parenting. This is getting rough.
Decisions...decisions...no core training for 2 weeks, a good thing. You do the same shit week after week, you hit the wall. So, either do the last LIRRC tonight (end of summer Wednesday series), or do the boot camp class, or run @ crack of dawn. Too many options, this is getting like the LI Marathon and it's bloody choices. Prob wait 'til later and decide @ work. Save the knee for tonight-stiull sore from the track. I swear, running a marathon is easier than track work. My only gauge there is staying between rob and Peter, in front, and Lori behind me.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
day 30
ok kiddies, it's been a month. STILL resisting the impulse to leap from a tall building or somehow escape the wackness of this scene. Not bad so far.
Woke up this am, later than usual, no morning run-track work tonight, so extra 1 1/2 hrs sleep. Out of bed @ 4:30, Keith STILL awake. JEEEEEEEEZ. Does It do anything????? It sleeping next to him as he watches Adult Swim (really great tv, but can't let him know that). I order him to sleep, It awakens to use the bathroom. You haven't lived until you've ordered your offspring to sleep while his mother does nothing, his mother thereafter stirring from Its sleep with razor stubble on Its head. You love the person you married, but she left 7 years ago. After all the screaming, the cursing, the verbal abuse, the destruction of my reputation, this ia a disease, no longer a human. Sucks, but it is what it is. If you've seen dawn of the dead you know what I live with. It REALLY sucks and takes all I got to return back to the address every day. Keith makes it worth it. Again, though, I gotta wonder, there'd BETTER be a heaven 'cause I did my time.
Times like this I think about the selfish who think about "what about me?" When you look at your son, that question is answered.
Hockey last night kicked ass. You know you needed it when you're playing with your buds, and you STILL amass the most penalty minutes. hee heeeeeeee!!!!!
Saturday: Rob n' Helen's wedding. Dreading it. Can't take whom I wanted to, so flying solo. Dayum. Gonna take all I got to stay. (place your bets re: when I sleaze out).
Woke up this am, later than usual, no morning run-track work tonight, so extra 1 1/2 hrs sleep. Out of bed @ 4:30, Keith STILL awake. JEEEEEEEEZ. Does It do anything????? It sleeping next to him as he watches Adult Swim (really great tv, but can't let him know that). I order him to sleep, It awakens to use the bathroom. You haven't lived until you've ordered your offspring to sleep while his mother does nothing, his mother thereafter stirring from Its sleep with razor stubble on Its head. You love the person you married, but she left 7 years ago. After all the screaming, the cursing, the verbal abuse, the destruction of my reputation, this ia a disease, no longer a human. Sucks, but it is what it is. If you've seen dawn of the dead you know what I live with. It REALLY sucks and takes all I got to return back to the address every day. Keith makes it worth it. Again, though, I gotta wonder, there'd BETTER be a heaven 'cause I did my time.
Times like this I think about the selfish who think about "what about me?" When you look at your son, that question is answered.
Hockey last night kicked ass. You know you needed it when you're playing with your buds, and you STILL amass the most penalty minutes. hee heeeeeeee!!!!!
Saturday: Rob n' Helen's wedding. Dreading it. Can't take whom I wanted to, so flying solo. Dayum. Gonna take all I got to stay. (place your bets re: when I sleaze out).
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