until It enters the hospital for either curing or the last time.
10 this am, evened out the weekend's 5k's. St.Francis + Teamquantumbrickwellfeet's 5k course. @ first the am looked dicey, was sprinkling @ Toxichouse, but per usual, when approaching Queens, nothing. Nice. Another Hooded sweatshirt/shorts am, 46 degs. Gotta acclimate, but don't wanna be uncomfortable. Odd that-when things were as normal as they ever were in Hicksville, didn't mind the cold as much. Now, I got enough crap in my life to last 5 lifetimes, not tolerating more than I gotta.
Knees holding up, ready to accept a shit pace for the sake of saving my knees. Do I wanna chase an unattainable dream, or run for years? Hmmmm.
Stoney's home from school-big surprise. Never eats veggies, never exercises, jeeeeez.
Tonight, out for dinner. Boys night out. The team heard about birthday @ Toxichouse (not one fucking gift, feel so rewarded when I pay the mortgage) they're taking me for "after eating this you'll have a stroke" steak. Ruth's Chris or Smith & Wollensky. Bless 'em.
***Can a week pass more quickly??? Made the mistake of occupying the same space as Shebitch-BIG error. It went shopping last night, brought home chicken, and...are you sitting...I cooked it! Bastard aren't I? For this I get torn yet another new one. Among other choice things, I'm told I'm cheap, I'm________ just fill in your favorite expletive. Follow this by a litany of "my my my," as in a distinct and clear seperation of belongings here. Great example for a kid n'est pas??? As in "the chicken wasn't for you, you cooked MY chicken." Amazing. Utterly amazing. And no, I didn't respond with "You're using my electricity, in my house, watching my cable."
Yin/Yang: Tom called. Bless him, paid for the bus to the start of the marathon.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
day 78
BEAUTIFUL morning, shorts and hooded sweatshirt (DO NOT even THINK "hoodie," annoying, uniquely caucasian word.) Was 45 degs when I hit The Line. YUMMMMM. REALLY felt good. Needed it after the weekend's 5k's. Bullshit distances, so after The Big One, I should use them as speed runs, and accept no less than 8:30. Prob is with these running shoes, it's tough to get any speed-they're like cinderblocks, but the trade off is worth it-knees feel good. What price speed???
Reality check: with the passing of yet another weekend, comes our "back down to earth" moment. Feeling really good that I'm down to one credit card with a balance, a sub $2,000 balance at that. Prob will occur in 8 days. THIS is when the weight of the world comes down. It enters the hospital, either to get cured or not to, the final solution-or not. This leaves me holding the bag. Remember, after the stem cell implants, rather than give the dog to a friend, It is choosing to abandon us and live with others for 2 months. This is GREAT for the house, we'll go from "Toxichouse" to "home," but this leaves me to do everything. Normal people would take 2 months off, I can't. I won't.
Got my # for The Big One. Good news: I'm in the first section, bad news: of the last wave. I'll be starting 'round 10:30.
***Pics from Get to the Point just added, see bottom.
Reality check: with the passing of yet another weekend, comes our "back down to earth" moment. Feeling really good that I'm down to one credit card with a balance, a sub $2,000 balance at that. Prob will occur in 8 days. THIS is when the weight of the world comes down. It enters the hospital, either to get cured or not to, the final solution-or not. This leaves me holding the bag. Remember, after the stem cell implants, rather than give the dog to a friend, It is choosing to abandon us and live with others for 2 months. This is GREAT for the house, we'll go from "Toxichouse" to "home," but this leaves me to do everything. Normal people would take 2 months off, I can't. I won't.
Got my # for The Big One. Good news: I'm in the first section, bad news: of the last wave. I'll be starting 'round 10:30.
***Pics from Get to the Point just added, see bottom.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
day 77
age has its benefits!!!
OK, getting used to this "I'm in the aarp generation" thing. The beauty of it: you leave the bullshit to the young'uns. This 5k was a perfect example. Had ALOT of fun with the Wearers of the Green, it's not often I spend time with ANYONE without praying I was elsewhere. With the peeps, I enjoyed their company, to the point that I didn't want it to end. Finishing @ 8:30 was a possibility, but chose to drag my ass and make a point by being the last of 3 Striders. REALLY had fun with them, but, the race has gotten so big, we were @ the end of the chow line-THAT sucked-30 minutes. Ouch. Bit of a disappointment there, by the time we got our plates, there wasn't much left. BUT, the enthusiasm of the organizers IS infectious, you can't NOT have a good time.
OK, getting used to this "I'm in the aarp generation" thing. The beauty of it: you leave the bullshit to the young'uns. This 5k was a perfect example. Had ALOT of fun with the Wearers of the Green, it's not often I spend time with ANYONE without praying I was elsewhere. With the peeps, I enjoyed their company, to the point that I didn't want it to end. Finishing @ 8:30 was a possibility, but chose to drag my ass and make a point by being the last of 3 Striders. REALLY had fun with them, but, the race has gotten so big, we were @ the end of the chow line-THAT sucked-30 minutes. Ouch. Bit of a disappointment there, by the time we got our plates, there wasn't much left. BUT, the enthusiasm of the organizers IS infectious, you can't NOT have a good time.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
day 76
Didn't QUITE know which direction to take this am. Need the miles, but this is the day before a race. So.........compromised, did a 5k as a warm up, the Dennis Cross 5k-another of those 9-11 runs. Flat, Islip Terrace. Felt good, shit time, but felt good.
Took Stoney to see Zombieland. Dying to see it AGAIN!!!!!
Nut up or shut up.
Took Stoney to see Zombieland. Dying to see it AGAIN!!!!!
Nut up or shut up.
Friday, October 9, 2009
day 75
tgif!!! The weekend looks like alot of fun, we have the mini Strider roadtrip Sunday, rain this pm into manana am, so manana MIGHT be a rest day. Need the miles, but the day before a race, I dunno. Should I kill my time for a 5k, in order to be better prepped for The Big One? Or run shorter-if at all-manana? Rain might come to the rescue.
Made Stoney NUTS yesterday. Told him I'd call the school to find out why they called me, and we'd discuss it when I got home. He texted me no less than 9 times yesterday!!! He's def related to me, HATES the "we'll discuss it later" shit, the mind takes that ball and really runs with it.
THEN I get a call from the school re: he'd been missing for 8th period.
THEN he texts me-thinking he texted one of his friends (putz), the text reads:
"idk Joey said he might be able to get it for you. And na I'm prolly not even going to anymore lol, atleast for the next few weeks cuz I wanna get out and I gotta test - ." (his spelling etc...)
can't WAIT til the teens are over.
Made Stoney NUTS yesterday. Told him I'd call the school to find out why they called me, and we'd discuss it when I got home. He texted me no less than 9 times yesterday!!! He's def related to me, HATES the "we'll discuss it later" shit, the mind takes that ball and really runs with it.
THEN I get a call from the school re: he'd been missing for 8th period.
THEN he texts me-thinking he texted one of his friends (putz), the text reads:
"idk Joey said he might be able to get it for you. And na I'm prolly not even going to anymore lol, atleast for the next few weeks cuz I wanna get out and I gotta test - ." (his spelling etc...)
can't WAIT til the teens are over.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
day 74
Vlad The Impaler
So now I torture Stoney.
Come back to Toxichouse after core training last night-interesting to note how the class downsizes after the start of each new cycle, Stoney's on the couch playing whatever video game shebitch bought (buy more games, don't DO anything with your son), I ask "where's the dog?" He shrugs his shoulders. I ask why the high school tried claling me, he again, denies anything. I hit the roof. The dog is in the den waiting to be let out-the dog he wanted/begged for/made a bunch of bullshit promises for. This, in addition to doing NOTHING but playing video games got me pissed. Shebitch comes home, and rather than back a parenting strategy, asks why I'm torturing my son. Amazing. Utterly amazing. These are the moments in which I feel alone, totally, completely alone. SOMEONE has to do the parenting, and when undertaken, you get sabotaged.
On the good news front, we have a mini club roadtrip to Brooklyn Sunday for the glutton 5k. FUN!!! Thbis one rocks no matter the weather.
St.Francis this am-treacherous. Heavy wind last night, made for high knees to avoid branches.
So now I torture Stoney.
Come back to Toxichouse after core training last night-interesting to note how the class downsizes after the start of each new cycle, Stoney's on the couch playing whatever video game shebitch bought (buy more games, don't DO anything with your son), I ask "where's the dog?" He shrugs his shoulders. I ask why the high school tried claling me, he again, denies anything. I hit the roof. The dog is in the den waiting to be let out-the dog he wanted/begged for/made a bunch of bullshit promises for. This, in addition to doing NOTHING but playing video games got me pissed. Shebitch comes home, and rather than back a parenting strategy, asks why I'm torturing my son. Amazing. Utterly amazing. These are the moments in which I feel alone, totally, completely alone. SOMEONE has to do the parenting, and when undertaken, you get sabotaged.
On the good news front, we have a mini club roadtrip to Brooklyn Sunday for the glutton 5k. FUN!!! Thbis one rocks no matter the weather.
St.Francis this am-treacherous. Heavy wind last night, made for high knees to avoid branches.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
day 73
does 50 + 1 feel any different? No. Same me, for better or for worse. I prefer to think "for better."
Keep thinking of the Billy Joel line about Angry Young Man, thinking still being in "the game" is enough. Don't gotta aim for windmills.
Had a delightful evening. Beyond what I'd thought up. This is the key: expect nothing. So, I took the ball and ran with it. Arranged for dinner out, went for the 20 oz. Porterhouse (should'a had the 32 ounce, yummmmmm, double veggies, no carbs hee hee. You CAN be a healthy glutton), then went to see The Invention of Lying. Amazing flick, based on the concept of there is no god, what if you made him up? In this flick he's known as "the man in the sky," and churches as "places where you worship the man in the sky." VERY funny. Well done. Quite a lovely night.
Back to Toxichouse. Now, I'd left the crackberry in the truck, didn't wanna spoil the evening. LOTS of voicemail, shit @ work, and a message from Stoney. Turns out Shebitch wanted to take me to dinner. Now, take a second or two kiddies. Let this sink in....either it's screaming bloody murder that I'm scum and Its pro bono attorney is going to..........or I'm being taken to dinner. This is what I live with. This is why I took the ball and ran with it re: my birthday plans. I couldn't leave it to chance or Its mood. Deserved a nice evening, so we had one. No, it isn't easy, yes, it IS worth it.
BIG NEWS: It goes in hospital 10-20. This is the big stay, one month. Either it comes out the other end or doesn't. Here is where the rubber hits the road and I become an island with the weight of the world on my shoulders-i.e. Stoney. Hope I can be a good Father/Mother/peep. Thank God I have my people with me, I'd be crushed if not. They kept me from doing what I wanted to yesterday. REALLY kept me out of my own way.
(don't think the waitress will ever be the same, $40 tip on a $50 tab). Hadda share the celebratory nature of the day!!!
Keep thinking of the Billy Joel line about Angry Young Man, thinking still being in "the game" is enough. Don't gotta aim for windmills.
Had a delightful evening. Beyond what I'd thought up. This is the key: expect nothing. So, I took the ball and ran with it. Arranged for dinner out, went for the 20 oz. Porterhouse (should'a had the 32 ounce, yummmmmm, double veggies, no carbs hee hee. You CAN be a healthy glutton), then went to see The Invention of Lying. Amazing flick, based on the concept of there is no god, what if you made him up? In this flick he's known as "the man in the sky," and churches as "places where you worship the man in the sky." VERY funny. Well done. Quite a lovely night.
Back to Toxichouse. Now, I'd left the crackberry in the truck, didn't wanna spoil the evening. LOTS of voicemail, shit @ work, and a message from Stoney. Turns out Shebitch wanted to take me to dinner. Now, take a second or two kiddies. Let this sink in....either it's screaming bloody murder that I'm scum and Its pro bono attorney is going to..........or I'm being taken to dinner. This is what I live with. This is why I took the ball and ran with it re: my birthday plans. I couldn't leave it to chance or Its mood. Deserved a nice evening, so we had one. No, it isn't easy, yes, it IS worth it.
BIG NEWS: It goes in hospital 10-20. This is the big stay, one month. Either it comes out the other end or doesn't. Here is where the rubber hits the road and I become an island with the weight of the world on my shoulders-i.e. Stoney. Hope I can be a good Father/Mother/peep. Thank God I have my people with me, I'd be crushed if not. They kept me from doing what I wanted to yesterday. REALLY kept me out of my own way.
(don't think the waitress will ever be the same, $40 tip on a $50 tab). Hadda share the celebratory nature of the day!!!
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