Day 1678

Brrrrr!

20 degs! Back to the gym. Looks like it'll be this way for a week, damn,. Good to know, though, I hadn't lost a step. Bumped into a peep on Sat who, for God knows what reason, always wants to run with me. My answer to him is always: "you run, I trudge," but that doesn't deter him. Did ok, yesterday he texted me saying I wore out the third peep among us-one of HIS buddies. High praise indeed. Makes the next few days less irksome.

Tonight, Central Park's New Year's Eve run. Always fun.

Day 1677

Good to be back!

With temps above freezing,  able to run daily. Life, again, is good! Back in the groove.

Bumped into Dennis again @ the gym, after I got my miles. We both did a class-nice. My brush with greatness. Helluva guy. It actually annoys me when peeps don't hold him in the same regard.

In the evening, went to brotherfromanothermother's mother's wake. Hadda. Sybil was-again-in rare form. Raging about ______________ whatever. does it really even matter? The queen of 12 step programs, who claimed 20+ years sober (after not two years ago drinking too much coffee to stay awake, then self medicating with sleeping pills-real sober!), the queen of religion (what exactly WOULD JEEEEEEESUS do???), raging about some trivial bullshit. Really, get a grip. And I even told It to shut up if It had nothing good to say. To no avail.

But, I got my miles AND did a Spin class. A good day!!!!!

Day 1676

Good to be flexible.

Was 29 degs when I left yesterday, headed to the gym to grab a locker and decide: run or Spin. When I got there, in God's country (Queens), it was 35, so, laced 'em up. Glad I did.

Bumped into Dennis in the gym, he ran, good. Hit AP, ran into 2 peeps, did The Line with 'em. GREAT day ensues. Funny how that worked out.

Today, Spin x 2. Gotta guard the knees. 40 degs, but can't be reckless.

Day 1675

Coin flip.

Wanna run this am, but currently 29 degs. We'll see the temps in couple'a hours. If above freezing we're on. Otherwise, Spin. Good to have options.

Day 1674

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!!!

Since 11/7, the job has been under a microscope. Yesterday was the piece de resistance: an agency building inspector. This was the fifth visit in 5 weeks by various people. Ho ho ho.

But, got my miles yesterday-despite the cold, THEN am Spin THEN pm Spin. When others slack off and overeat, I amp it up. Gotta keep that edge.

Day 1673

Whew!

Made it through Christmas unscathed. Hit the job, left the gifts for the patients, got my miles, hit a long flick, then my brothers. Hadda make up for ditching Thanksgiving, but Sybil usurped that one.

Things went well. People must be taking their meds. Not once was I told what I should be doing with my life. Am I learning, are they, or are both?

Ho ho ho.

Day 1672

Ho ho?

Come in, my shit is moved around, AGAIN. There are 4 seats at the dinner table. Guess who's is not cluttered? Of course, as with the den, what becomes the focus of attention? My shit, of course, is moved. Now remember, if I move a piece of LINT, vandalism ensues. Of course, the JEEEESUS freak does/says nothing, rather rages about my den. Amazing. THEN, It goes to midnight mass, as Stoney and his smoking bud (liked that one didya?) AGAIN move my shit, with 3 other perfectly useable spots there in plain sight. Fuck me, ho ho ho.

BUT, we had the patients' party, and of course, it was a hit!

As Stoney smokes and Sybil goes to church. Self involved are we?

Ho ho ho.

And the staff? Party on Jan 22. The Committee couldn't get its shit together. Surprise surprise.

Day 1671

Ho Ho Ho

Nothing puts me in the mood like Christmas in Rehab.

Stoney was on the couch (after I moved his bong to his room!!!), hangin' with a peep, rankin' on a homey who didn't buy his mother anything for her birthday. Let that sink in. Who bought Stoney HIS gift for Sybil? Kid's a trip. Really thinks he has it all figured out. Can't wait 'til he learns how he miscalculated.

But tonight, the Christmas spirit cannot be prevented! Despite individual dysfunction, the patients' party is on! Lovely. Purely an act of selflessness. I love this!

Day 1670

Plan B!

Headed to the site for yesterday's 5m, couldn't find it. Rule #1 of organizing anything: make it idiot proof/user friendly. Really a pain. This was validated by the eventual turnout-54 people. So, headed to my peeps @ LIRRC instead, for their Christmas 5k. Of course, all worked out. Broke 30, 9:28, came in @ 29 +. Nice.

Came in, my clockradio is on my placemat. Stoney took exception to (GASP) my moving his charger from MY den into HIS room. Ain't I a mofo? His mother sees his work, does nothing, says nothing.

Wonder what HE's getting for Christmas?

Day 1669

Did the 5k, not bad, but hadda take 2 breaks. Went out too fast, but broke 10 nonetheless. Glad.

Then off to Brooklyn to hang w/a peep. Really long time peep, had dinner, not a big deal, but total quality time. Truly lovely.

This am, Queens 5m. Gotta represent.

Day 1668

Better!

43 degs right now, 5k this am-one of those "you live on Long Island, ergo, you MUST do it" races. Nice to jump back on the horse. Only prob: so many people do it, your time is fucked. It's ok. After having Sybil decorating the the tree I bought, raging about whatever it was I ate from the fridge "...MY food..." fucking psycho, I'm ready to run. ho ho ho.

Day 1667

Brrrr!

Last day of the freeze, today should climb into the 40's-THANK GOD!!! I'm sick of not running. The ellip + Spin was good, but like the dif between jerkin' off and actual sex.

Day 1666

(can't believe it's been this long)

Supposed to warm up through the weekend. Good. 28 this am, yecch. Ellip + Spin. Manana hit the asphalt. Can't wait. 5k on the weekend, one of those "you live on Long Island thus you must" races.

Practicing w/the patients for the Christmas party. Never fails to put the spirit back in the season. Terrific people.

Day 1665

Settling.

This weekend warrior bullshit is for the birds, but what's the option? Run on ice???? Freeze? Nope, did the ellip and Spin. This am, ellip. Hey, at least I'm maintaining. As long as I keep sub 10 minute paces I'm ok.

Day 1664

23

Degrees. Gym, ellip this am, Spin tonight. Really hate this shit.

Day 1663

Grrrrr!!!!!

Fucking hate this time of year. Ain't freezin' my cojones off, so no run. Made do w/ gym-elliped. Got a good workout in, adjusted my disposition, but there's nothing like running.

Making arrangements for the patients' Christmas party. Last night, lil' after midnight, Sybil raging-I had the GALL to eat 2 packets of crackers. Imagine. Call the lawyers! AND, think nothing of waking me up @ midnight (yes, this was after coming in from an AA meeting. How sober was THAT???). Fucking loon. So, pay it forward-if you're abused, do a solid for others, hence, the patients' Christmas. I always do everything since everyone else is too fucking self involved. People just don't grasp the notion of doing something good, for good's sake.

Ho ho.

Day 1662

So-so

Bailed on the Central Park 15k yesterday, glad I did. Bitter cold + snow-shit. So, did a local 5k in Suffolk. SO local, they didn't even use bibs! Really lovely-@ a community church. The bad news? Hilly as shit and nothing in my age group-a fast peep took third! Fast age group!!! BUT, glad I did it.

Sybil, great for the afternoon, ready to (after not lifting a motherfucking finger) go out to dinner w/a groupie, tears into me. Really hurtful. This is sobriety. Enjoy. Comes back (10:30pm) cooks for Stoney. THIS is sobriety. Right.

Day 1661

Bail!!!!!

My second d.n.s. Was regged to do 15k in Central Park. First, parking will be a bitch, but that's not the issue. Weather is supposed to be fucked, so, stay on the island. Do a 5k as a speed workout, see if I can still break 10. Annoyed, but can't be foolish.

At least I slept well last night, finally. After It, again, tore me a new one. One minute we're conversing, literally in the same breath it went psycho, "this is why we need a mediator..." I actually went into the backyard with Hulk-freezing but peaceful-reentered, It was STILL raging. Fucking nut job. I WOULD get stuck with this bullshit on all fronts.

The good news? It was a delight driving Stoney to work the other day, missed actually speaking to him as opposed to his being a pissed off teenager.

Day 1660

24 FUCKING degrees, warmer in Alaska.

Run? Ha, no friggin' way. Tossed and turned all night, feet couldn't get warm. This sucks. Gotta tough it out. Spin class yesterday am, weights this am.

Day 1659

DAYS???

Supposed to be like this for DAYS, 20's temps. Fuck this, hibernate. Spin today, again.

Day 1658

Brrrrr!!!!!

Freezing, snow, then ice. No running DUH! Spin instead.

AND...WTF was I thinking??? Signed up for a 15k Saturday.

Day 1657

Called it!

All that crap about taxes? It, in a typical fit of rage, uttered "and don't think you're off the hook about the taxes. I need to show them to..." Now, how many people do you know of, who have EVERY fucking detail of their lives made public, including their taxes?

Wait until April when It finds MY taxes are done. Not "our."

Day 1656

9:26!!!

and THAT was starting dead last, WITH 2 breaks!!!!!!

DP showed up, nice. Love hangin' with her-a nice person. Brian WAS there, kept him in sight, then after half a mile passed him. Truly a nice guy, but treadmills and weight training are his mistakes. Broke 9:30!!!!! Yay!

Today, off. Good thing. Snow last night, rain this am, yecch.

Day 1655

:)

5k yesterday, went out too fast, didn't have my benchmarks (Big Bird or Brian). Turns out Brian WAS there, but I'd passed him. He goes out too fast in the first mile + his training is on the treadmill. Big mistake. But one HELL of a nice guy. Between him and seeing my man Dennis on tv in an interview, got the support I needed to do ok. STILL, without my benchmarks I couldn't pace myself and hadda take breaks. Whatever. I broke 10, pushing 9:30.

Today, the other half of the weekend silly series-pancake run. Did this one for years, back when Stoney was still loveable.

Day 1654

Weekend warrior.

With the week the way it is, and cold temps, running daily isn't an option, so, run when it's over 35, and Spin otherwise. Weekends, race. This way I save my knees and can maintain progress. Miss running daily, but gotta preserve the machine.

It? Useless. Cleaning the living room. What do I find on the side of the couch? Stoney's bong. Lovely. Best of all, It's comment "oh, I see it all the time." And HOW many years sobriety does it claim to have? And did It say ANYTHING to him? Of course not. This is better than cleaning others' houses while yours wallows in filth. Useless bitch.

Fuck me.

Today, 5k, work that speed, keep that sanity.

Day 1653

Grey  ;(

But not entirely bad. A rest day sometimes can't totally suck.

Fridays off, Mondays also-when possible. Still, I'll lose vacation time, but it's ok. the cost of being b.m.o.c. Catch a flick, have some chill time before the weekend's 5k's. Silly season, not marathon training, but time to see if I can maintain sub 10 pace. Doing well so far, except for that cluster fuck xc. Still, I'm healthy, people remark that I look like I lost weight, I'm good.

Day 1652

TGIT

Had the last bored meeting of my tenure last night. Went well, peeps actually expressed interest in the half. Nice. Brotherfromanothermother was there, poor guy. Not running, Not good.

Last day of my abbreviated work week, a very good thing, though with the crackberry I really don't have any time off.

Day 1651

TOLD ya' so!

So, after all that Psycho shit about needing the taxes, it wasn't needed AT ALL. All the student loan shit is in process. BIG surprise!!!!! REAL sober behavior there Avon Lady! Make sure your friends all know that!!!!!

Now remember, It took a computer course. Yet, did It lift a finger to help Stoney with the processing? No, easier to shirk responsibility (sensing a pattern here???) by raging @ me for the taxes-which weren't needed AT ALL. Literally SCREAMING @ me.

Best of all, It has a bad habit of writing It's memoirs all over, literally, there are 5-10 different journals begun, left haphazardly everywhere. One entry involved letting go of anger (???!!!) and not being so anal regarding cleaning (????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), like It EVER cleaned????????????? Really has a separate life in Its own head. Go teach religion, THEY need your crap.

***Meanwhile, It has $1,851 in the bank, how much oil would THAT purchase??? But no, scream @ me. Rage in front of our son about how useless I am (WHO pays all the bills???).

Rah rah Jesus!

Day 1650

Nice one!

Actually had a nice day off, sorta. Hadda avoid Toxichouse like the plague-It was home, clothes again all over the place. Like an episode of Hoarders. No joke. Couldn't even lie down and take a nap. It's comment: "no one uses that bed." AHEM????? It truly lives in its own world.

But, got my miles, hit the gym, caught a flick, read my book. I'm good.

Day 1649

Psycho Bitch.

RUNS upstairs as I'm dozing to rage about...(wait for it...) A-1!!! Imagine, ain't I a mofo? Actually used some steak sauce. Call out the hounds! Release The Kraken!!!!! Fuckin' nut. THIS after coming in from a meeting. 27 years sober? After drinking coffee to complete Avon (remember THAT? ANOTHER failed attempt-not before putting us all through hell) orders, THEN sleeping pills to sleep. Poor victim.

So, did the 5k xc Trail Relay yesterday and, actually broke 10! Nice!!!!!   In THIS trail run, lots of single file, even took a spill, yet still met my goal. The others on the team were behind me-save for Rob-fast mofo. My injury appears over. :)

Day 1648

:(

Did the 5k yesterday, a xc run, only because it was intended as a tune up for this am's 5k. What a clusterfuck. There was a clock @ the 3m split, making you think it was the finish! Would'a broken 10m but I walked after I THOUGHT I was done. DAMN. Still, 1 minute over my average pace is good for hilly xc.

Then in the evening,  concert @ The Paramount. People next to me WOULD NOT SHUT UP. Made for quite an unpleasant evening. But, got through the day. Got in a run, a shit run, but miles nonetheless. Sybil behaving. Odd.