Memorial day came and went. Official start to summer. Did the Long Beach run, 5k rather than 10m, hey, my knees hurt. And last time I did the 10m, I hadn't been on my feet for 8 hours daily. Was just happy to actually do a 5k without walk breaks.
Stoney'd being good. Don't have to worry-too much-when I come home. He still lacks any awareness re: boundaries, but no drugs.
Amazing how all I said turned out to be true. Remember my point about Bitch making a point to trek thru the den to put Hulk out? Now, side door. Closer. No shit.
So glad the cunt is gone.
The hard part: parenting Stoney. But, without the Bitch undermining everything, at least some material sinks in.
Thank God for my make believe friends. It hasn't been easy, but a shit ton easier than when that cunt was alive.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Friday, May 19, 2017
One More Month
6/18 we'll revisit Stoney's status.
This am was supposed to be sink or swim. As in: 8am, mattress on the sidewalk, or, so far so good. Well, he's still under my roof.
Sat him down @ the table and evaluated his status. The problem is: he actually hasn't internalized the nature of his transgressions. it came to this: yes, drug free. No, rent. Yet, he has $350, blew every cent, and then some (just like mommy). I asked hiom: "how many of your friends would've survived throwing a hammer @ their father???? " (this came after he stated his perception that he hadn't really done anything that heinous.).
I reminded him:
you allowed my home to be the locus for needle party.
you allowed a stranger to live in my living room.
that same stranger facilitated your addiction.
you have zero fucking rights in my house.
four weeks, no rent.
Schmuck.
No change, no domicile after 6/18.
This am was supposed to be sink or swim. As in: 8am, mattress on the sidewalk, or, so far so good. Well, he's still under my roof.
Sat him down @ the table and evaluated his status. The problem is: he actually hasn't internalized the nature of his transgressions. it came to this: yes, drug free. No, rent. Yet, he has $350, blew every cent, and then some (just like mommy). I asked hiom: "how many of your friends would've survived throwing a hammer @ their father???? " (this came after he stated his perception that he hadn't really done anything that heinous.).
I reminded him:
you allowed my home to be the locus for needle party.
you allowed a stranger to live in my living room.
that same stranger facilitated your addiction.
you have zero fucking rights in my house.
four weeks, no rent.
Schmuck.
No change, no domicile after 6/18.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Here we go again/things I've learned
Last night, left the concert early, knowing I'd havta play hall monitor to Keith. Sure enough, he blew curfew. Only 4 minutes, but it's the principle. He was, again, made aware of: one nanosecond late-mattress on the sidewalk. He STILL hasn't made an outpatient app't. He was told bursting into my room to voice his objection to what I was discussing with Cathy was GROSSLY inappropriate. That ANY further infraction would result in homelessness, that failure to pay next week will result in same. Enough.
Things I've learned:
NOTHING is as important as you think it is.
Everything changes.
NOTHING is forever.
Love passes.
Really glad I did what I did last night. GREAT concert, hangin' with my Make Believe Friends (fucking CUNT) was epic, especially happy I followed my inner voice to leave when I did. I met the lead singer of the band, AND burned Stoney. If I'd left later, he'd have gotten away with it.
Doesn't suck.
Things I've learned:
NOTHING is as important as you think it is.
Everything changes.
NOTHING is forever.
Love passes.
Really glad I did what I did last night. GREAT concert, hangin' with my Make Believe Friends (fucking CUNT) was epic, especially happy I followed my inner voice to leave when I did. I met the lead singer of the band, AND burned Stoney. If I'd left later, he'd have gotten away with it.
Doesn't suck.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Dramadramadrama
So, Stoney claims to have been going to meetings.
So, Stoney claims to have a job.
So, week three of no rent.
So, his phone is outta minutes. He asks to borrow mine, on the phone for 20 mins w/Anne. ????? Told him to get off the phone. He goes off, crying about "you stopped me from talking to her about mommy," "why did you tell her not to buy me a phone." Same old crap. He was reminded of his impending homelessness, and his LACK of ANY right to question.
Minutes later, Cathy called.
As I'm telling her wassup, he BURSTS into the bedroom demanding answers.
I will not speak to him, I'm done. I deserve to be happy and he's done MORE than enough damage.
So, Stoney claims to have a job.
So, week three of no rent.
So, his phone is outta minutes. He asks to borrow mine, on the phone for 20 mins w/Anne. ????? Told him to get off the phone. He goes off, crying about "you stopped me from talking to her about mommy," "why did you tell her not to buy me a phone." Same old crap. He was reminded of his impending homelessness, and his LACK of ANY right to question.
Minutes later, Cathy called.
As I'm telling her wassup, he BURSTS into the bedroom demanding answers.
I will not speak to him, I'm done. I deserve to be happy and he's done MORE than enough damage.
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Lying Motherfucker, part 2
So, he went to ONE meeting. Tuesday, nothing. I spoke with him, telling him:
90 meetings in 90 days, if he can stay clean after that without, ok. But he MUST attend a meeting a day.
He must launder the shit in bags on his floor. He CONTINUES on a daily basis, with bags of clothing on his floor.
He must pay the rent he owes within 3 weeks. If after 4 weeks, nothing, he will be homeless.
Enough.
He spent tuesday doing jack shit. Nothing. This is it.
90 meetings in 90 days, if he can stay clean after that without, ok. But he MUST attend a meeting a day.
He must launder the shit in bags on his floor. He CONTINUES on a daily basis, with bags of clothing on his floor.
He must pay the rent he owes within 3 weeks. If after 4 weeks, nothing, he will be homeless.
Enough.
He spent tuesday doing jack shit. Nothing. This is it.
Monday, May 1, 2017
Lying Motherfucker
The good news: did the 5m race, didn't havta walk, good.
Reconnected with my peeps, felt great, as if I'd never left.
Brodsky? No show. Montalvo, QDR? No show. Quantum whatever? No show. Fuck 'em.
Get home, ask Stoney to replace weights, they'd been left in the grass (tough to do the lawn). He proceeds to take a nap.
Get up to piss, dog still outside, side door wide open, weights unmoved. This am, dog STILL outside, weights where they'd been.
He spent the night at his cunt's place. No text, nothing (I'd reviewed the rules of the house-long as you're drug free, you're ok, but lemme know where you are).
Called him, no answer, several texts, no answer.
Went to the counseling center he claimed was too far, it was across the street. His appointment was for last tuesday.
Remember I brought him to my anniversary? Spent it on the phone with his cunt.
He's used his pass. Spoke with him, told him he was being tested. His response? "This is bullshit." Made the mistake of hanging up on me.
Finally got through to him, he was, obviously, @ his cunt's house. He responded in that fashion because he'd smoked weed. Cunt gave him $.
Told him that was it.
In by 11.
Meeting every night.
No more drugs of any fucking kind.
Told him he cannot be trusted. Referred to the bullshit he told me about counseling etc.....
Told him he has neither any right to privacy nor anything. His response" but I'm paying rent." My response "how much have you paid???"
Told him he had the time to walk to his cunt's house, yet couldn't replace the weights? Could use my phone to buy weed, yet couldn't text me re: his whereabouts?
In brief, told him when he sees his mattress on the curb, that will be his sign that he is dead to me.
Reconnected with my peeps, felt great, as if I'd never left.
Brodsky? No show. Montalvo, QDR? No show. Quantum whatever? No show. Fuck 'em.
Get home, ask Stoney to replace weights, they'd been left in the grass (tough to do the lawn). He proceeds to take a nap.
Get up to piss, dog still outside, side door wide open, weights unmoved. This am, dog STILL outside, weights where they'd been.
He spent the night at his cunt's place. No text, nothing (I'd reviewed the rules of the house-long as you're drug free, you're ok, but lemme know where you are).
Called him, no answer, several texts, no answer.
Went to the counseling center he claimed was too far, it was across the street. His appointment was for last tuesday.
Remember I brought him to my anniversary? Spent it on the phone with his cunt.
He's used his pass. Spoke with him, told him he was being tested. His response? "This is bullshit." Made the mistake of hanging up on me.
Finally got through to him, he was, obviously, @ his cunt's house. He responded in that fashion because he'd smoked weed. Cunt gave him $.
Told him that was it.
In by 11.
Meeting every night.
No more drugs of any fucking kind.
Told him he cannot be trusted. Referred to the bullshit he told me about counseling etc.....
Told him he has neither any right to privacy nor anything. His response" but I'm paying rent." My response "how much have you paid???"
Told him he had the time to walk to his cunt's house, yet couldn't replace the weights? Could use my phone to buy weed, yet couldn't text me re: his whereabouts?
In brief, told him when he sees his mattress on the curb, that will be his sign that he is dead to me.
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