Fuckin' asshole, you're a fuckin' asshole, such a fuckin' asshole.
Liar liar liar. LIAR liar, liar.
Why don't you just go? I can't wait until...........
You need to go to a meeting......................
Yes, Virginia, this is the sum of what Psychobitch woke me up, @ 11:15, to scream. Real positive reinforcement (and, again, with Stoney and his girl on the couch directly below). THIS is what JEEEEEEEEEZUS would do. THIS is what the founder of AA espoused. Fucking bitch. (but I need a meeting???). Think It's off Its meds? Should'a signed up for the Affordable Care coverage, but no. it thought Medicare would do the trick, rejected. Pity.
And those words were uttered, after waking me up, the night before a big sale. Did I make the sale? Did I even try? Did I have anything vaguely resembling motivation?
So, manana, the QUEENS 10k, followed by an evening 1m. At least tomorrow will be a good day.
This am, Spin, saw my peeps. I'm ok.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Friday, June 20, 2014
Day 1829
Didn't suck!
Did a 5k in Flushing Meadows last evening. What I always say is "if you can run after work, you didn't work." First thing in the am is easy(er) than in the evening. But, 1)the guy who holds the race is cool, so you kinda/sorta gotta do it, and 2)it's Flushing Meadows Park-I grew up there. Amazing memories of the World's Fair, mom, you know, a family?
Broke 10, 9:39! AND, that was with 2 walk breaks. Lil' ol' 5k kicked my ass, but I still broke 10, with a full 60 seconds I could've shaved off.
Now the prob: my credential is up for renewal. Should I/shouldn't I? Should I keep a door open or move on? THIS is a crossroads. And here @ Toxichouse I get nothing but grief. No useful input other than daily reminders of how shitty I am. Last nights "you're a fuckin' asshole, you're a fuckin' asshole" keep replaying in my mind. Really supportive (and remember, this is with my son and his girl on the couch. Imagine what she was thinking?). THIS is what Jeeeeeeeeezus would do? THIS is the model of AA sobriety? Great shit to keep in mind while in the process of making a sale.
Useless psycho.
Did a 5k in Flushing Meadows last evening. What I always say is "if you can run after work, you didn't work." First thing in the am is easy(er) than in the evening. But, 1)the guy who holds the race is cool, so you kinda/sorta gotta do it, and 2)it's Flushing Meadows Park-I grew up there. Amazing memories of the World's Fair, mom, you know, a family?
Broke 10, 9:39! AND, that was with 2 walk breaks. Lil' ol' 5k kicked my ass, but I still broke 10, with a full 60 seconds I could've shaved off.
Now the prob: my credential is up for renewal. Should I/shouldn't I? Should I keep a door open or move on? THIS is a crossroads. And here @ Toxichouse I get nothing but grief. No useful input other than daily reminders of how shitty I am. Last nights "you're a fuckin' asshole, you're a fuckin' asshole" keep replaying in my mind. Really supportive (and remember, this is with my son and his girl on the couch. Imagine what she was thinking?). THIS is what Jeeeeeeeeezus would do? THIS is the model of AA sobriety? Great shit to keep in mind while in the process of making a sale.
Useless psycho.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Day 1828
WTF?
WAS having a good evening, Stoney on the couch w/a girl, having a nice time-a nice girl too. So far so good. Reviewing the events of the day, prepping for this morning.
Hit the sack, then...THEN...BITCH rages in.
I had the NERVE to eat from the fridge.
Now, remember, Stoney and the girl are on the couch.
Fucking amazing. You can't write this shit if you tried.
Turns on the light, knowing full well I'm trying to sleep, hot as a motherfucker, this BITCH is off the hook. And, what you wonder, is REALLY at the heart of this?
Guess who didn't qualify for Medicare? And why? Of course, It missed the cut off date for application. Typical.
Told it to sign up for the Affordable Care Act. Did It listen?
But scream, demand divorce, call your lawyer because I ate from the fridge.
Best of all, remember this was @ 11:13 pm, It tell me I need a meeting. I'm a lier, asshole, fuckin' asshole, and need a meeting.....@ 11:13pm.......because it is off Its meds.
Hope Stoney's date ended well.
WAS having a good evening, Stoney on the couch w/a girl, having a nice time-a nice girl too. So far so good. Reviewing the events of the day, prepping for this morning.
Hit the sack, then...THEN...BITCH rages in.
I had the NERVE to eat from the fridge.
Now, remember, Stoney and the girl are on the couch.
Fucking amazing. You can't write this shit if you tried.
Turns on the light, knowing full well I'm trying to sleep, hot as a motherfucker, this BITCH is off the hook. And, what you wonder, is REALLY at the heart of this?
Guess who didn't qualify for Medicare? And why? Of course, It missed the cut off date for application. Typical.
Told it to sign up for the Affordable Care Act. Did It listen?
But scream, demand divorce, call your lawyer because I ate from the fridge.
Best of all, remember this was @ 11:13 pm, It tell me I need a meeting. I'm a lier, asshole, fuckin' asshole, and need a meeting.....@ 11:13pm.......because it is off Its meds.
Hope Stoney's date ended well.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Day 1827
Grrr!
Hot, too hot. That + Stoney n' his peeps pretty much talking over. Had no peace yesterday evening. I AM glad he was hangin', playin' ball with his peeps, but that resulted in my loss of a couple'a hours of rest. Really need it. It's 90-ish degress, days are tough.
Hot, too hot. That + Stoney n' his peeps pretty much talking over. Had no peace yesterday evening. I AM glad he was hangin', playin' ball with his peeps, but that resulted in my loss of a couple'a hours of rest. Really need it. It's 90-ish degress, days are tough.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Day 1826
Gooder
Got up an hour earlier, to get my run as well as my affairs in order. Tired of rushing. Better to take power naps here and there.
Glad I did. the day took its usual twists, but a good day nonetheless.
Got up an hour earlier, to get my run as well as my affairs in order. Tired of rushing. Better to take power naps here and there.
Glad I did. the day took its usual twists, but a good day nonetheless.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Day 1825
Called it!
Stoney asks for a lift to work, of course I do. Only chance he actually speaks.
Last night? No card, no Father's Day nothing. It picked up a chocolate chip cookie @ a bakery. This sucks. Thank God I ran.
Mother's Day? The world stops. Father's Day? The world hits on First Bank of Dad.
Stoney asks for a lift to work, of course I do. Only chance he actually speaks.
Last night? No card, no Father's Day nothing. It picked up a chocolate chip cookie @ a bakery. This sucks. Thank God I ran.
Mother's Day? The world stops. Father's Day? The world hits on First Bank of Dad.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Day 1824
Here I go again
Alone.
Good news: did the Central Park 5m in a sub 10 min pace. Nice.
Bad news: It's Father's Day. Of course, all that happens here is weed smoking. Not a card, nothing. Just angry glares from Stoney and It writing "Keith's" in permanent marker on tupperware in the fridge containing strawberries.
This sucks.
Happy Father's Day. Right.
Alone.
Good news: did the Central Park 5m in a sub 10 min pace. Nice.
Bad news: It's Father's Day. Of course, all that happens here is weed smoking. Not a card, nothing. Just angry glares from Stoney and It writing "Keith's" in permanent marker on tupperware in the fridge containing strawberries.
This sucks.
Happy Father's Day. Right.
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