Here we go again, again

So, it all hit the fan.

2 weeks before Christmas, Stoney STILL didn't fix the damage he caused.

After resettig the eviction date, repeatedly, we finally agreed on December 9, 12 noon. That day, @ 11:30, still nothing. For the past 2 weeks, didn't even pay rent. What did he do? Called the fucking cops on me!!!!!!! 3 N.C.P.D. cars pull up, take his statement, issue a report, with ME as the perp!!!!! The cops agreed that I was right, but they law was on his side. As the payer of the mortgage, I was powerless, until he reaches age 26. Imagine. YOU own the home, yet have zero control.

So, he shook my hand (after doing the damage), and, later, left. Was going to Nu Hope.

Christmas came and went, no word from the little shitstain.

I open his mail, sure enough, he (again) went to rehab. I pray he was on drugs, otherwise, using a rehab bed for shelter is totally pathetic.

Jan 9 he finally texts me, saying he was going to St.Christopher's Inn for 3 months.

So, do the math.

How long has it been since I could take a shower in my bathroom??????????????


A week and a half ago, his counselor calls, asking for data to flesh our his bio.

Her response to what I told her? "well, that's another side of it." Imagine what the little shit told her. I'm SURE he played the victim care, just     like     mommy.

She indicated he'd overdosed, repeatedly.........I can honestly say I do not care. I'm done.

So here we are, I don't know if he's coming back. Fuck him. I'm bagging the crap he threw in the closet, that hasn't been moved since bedbugs, and its going in the garbage.

It is my home. He has done ZERO to right the wrongs he committed. He's fucked.

A week ago, a peep from AA has the EXACT SAME situation, the only wrinkle: HIS shitstain stole his car + $100. He's totally living my drama. Only dif: His piece of shit is 2 years older than Stoney.

Fun fact: In cleaning out his crap, found ANOTHER bottle of Evan Williams.

But couldn't pay rent? Fuck this.

UnFuckingReal

So, one of my Make Believe Friends asks if I'm interested in seeing Queen. Thought about it, why not. Tix were cheap, nosebleeds, but cheap. A week after Iron Maiden no less. So, ok.

We hang for a bit, had some catching up. Go to our seats, WAY the fuck up, corner. Lo and behold, an usher comes behind us, upgrading the people. I turn around and say "hey, we won't say no." Lo and behold, 10th row, side stage!!!!!! NIIIIIIICE. See pix.

Had a blast! Turns out a couple of our peeps were there as well. We were VERY fortunate to have gotten the upgrade.

But WAIT, it got better!

I'm heading home, who do I see?????

STONEY! (this was after midnight), WITH HIS JUNKIE FELON FRIEND.

Amazing.

Hadn't gone to a meeting in weeks, no outpatient. When pressed, "I needed someone to talk to." Right.

Told him he needs to

1)attend outpatient, receipt of co-pay on the fridge.
2)attend na/aa/za, whatever, have a signature attesting to attendance.
3)launder the bags of shit in his room
4)pay rent, on time. 8:01=homeless.

I'm done.

Turning out just like his useless mother.

(meanwhile, remember Cathy calling to ask if it was ok to.....and my answer: make it contingent on his attending outpatient/aa? what did THAT twat do? Took him shopping and SUGGESTED. Another useless twat).

Home Stretch

June 20, Cunt kills itself, thereby relieving earth of Its presence.

June 24, Father's Day.

July 8, wedding anniv.

July 13, Stoney's Birthday.

And here we are.

Stupid humid, no a/c. Why? Did Cunt ever contribute? Did Stoney ever lift a finger? Now, he lies in a filthy room, bags of dirty laundry, barely able to keep an hourly job-after losing three others. Just     like     mommy.

Went to do his laundry yesterday, I come upon him as I went to pick mine up. He's standing outside, smoking a cig. Someone stole his laundry. Wouldn't have happened if he'd stayed with his laundry, if he'd put in the footwork. Just     like     mommy.

Spoke with Aunt Cathy. She was aware of some of his shit, but agrees, this ain't gonna end well. He's not going to meeting, not going to outpatient, hasn't changed his behavior.

Happy birthday.

Bottom line, the troublesome part of the year is almost passed.

You don't know

pain until you'v been to your wife's funeral, and everyone there is convinced to were Bad Cop, and half think you killed the Cunt.

pain until you parented your son, alone, with a Cunt reversing every parenting decision you attempted to enforce.

pain until you drop your son ff at the e.r., and leave him there with instructions. Not cold hearted, but "detached," following years of bullshit.

pain until you know he's homeless for a week, as a direct consequence of his substance abuse. Not allowed to reenter the home for a week, after seeing him ride off on his bike with sandwiches you made and a bag of (dirty) clothes.

pain until you have all this happen within 24 hours of Father's day.

Irony?

Father's Day. Two days prior, an i.o.u. for rent. Ok, at least its on his mind. On Father's Day, nothing. I come home, a terrific card and cologne. He comes in from work, of course I thank him. I was genuinely touched.

1:41 this am, the 3 year anniversary of Cunt's death, I go downstairs to piss. He's up, having come in from working the night. I see he has a can, of 14 ounce Natty Lite.

I tell him he has until 6 am to be gone. That he has a week to get his shit tight or never return. I tell him he's lucky-that I'm sure he hadn't been to a meeting (he hadn't in 3 days) didn't have a sponsor (didn't) not attend outpatient in over a week. When he tried the "at least I'm not doing heroin" bullshit, I tell him he's back with open arms if he gets ANYONE from his counselor to a 12 step member, to write a note saying beer's ok, ESPECIALLY when he remembers the rules of his life in my house post-rehab.

He's thus, homeless for a week.

Wonder if he remembers the meaning of today's date.

I write this on a computer in the library. Guess who's a few computers away.

Irony?????

Here we are

Quite a day.

Wanted to fulfill my volunteer commitment for The Marathon. So, did the kids global running day thing @ Icahn Stadium. Football Dad and I.

What a day. Took me back to when I started on Ward's Island, all the drama surrounding our engagement and my unemployment. All the shit I went through to get my foot in the door, doing the nyrr run there w/brotherfromanothermother, the concert there w/All American Rejects. Wow. Really time in a bottle. Barely felt like any effort.

Get back to my phone, college peep contacted me for some info.

Today really spanned the various decades of my life.

And here we are.

So It Goes

Memorial day came and went. Official start to summer. Did the Long Beach run, 5k rather than 10m, hey, my knees hurt. And last time I did the 10m, I hadn't been on my feet for 8 hours daily. Was just happy to actually do a 5k without walk breaks.

Stoney'd being good. Don't have to worry-too much-when I come home. He still lacks any awareness re: boundaries, but no drugs.

Amazing how all I said turned out to be true. Remember my point about Bitch making a point to trek thru the den to put Hulk out? Now, side door. Closer. No shit.

So glad the cunt is gone.

The hard part: parenting Stoney. But, without the Bitch undermining everything, at least some material sinks in.

Thank God for my make believe friends. It hasn't been easy, but a shit ton easier than when that cunt was alive.